


Non-Disclosure.

by Liberteaaxx



Series: Non-disclosure. [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: A lot of confliction, Actor Harry, Alcohol Abuse, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Closeted Relationship, Confused sexuality, Declarations Of Love, Director Louis, Fiction, Forbidden Love, Golfer Niall, Hate to Love, Hollywood Harry, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Learning to be Loved, M/M, Making Love, Mentions of Kendall Jenner - Freeform, Movie Set, Niall and Harry argue a lot over Niall’s knee, Niall wants Harry to go bald, One Night Stands, One True Pairing, Opposites Attract, Partying, Rapper Liam, Refrence to IRL Larry, Self-Pity, Semi-Public Sex, Slow burn but worth it, Zayn’s always high, a lot of fluff, angsty as fuck, childhood mention, coming to terms, learning to love, louis is confused, some smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-27
Updated: 2019-01-06
Packaged: 2019-09-28 22:13:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 26
Words: 170,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17191274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liberteaaxx/pseuds/Liberteaaxx
Summary: Being a world class Director, producing some of the best rated Romance movies to date, Louis was easily a sucker for the ‘Happy Ever After’.Except, in a world where he pretends and imagines true love. He was stuck inbetween what he thought was the love of his life and everything trying to stop them."I did a lot of thinking when I was gone and every scenario I came up with ended with you. I'm fucking scared and I have no idea what will happen from now but I'd risk it all, if you could promise me a lifetime"





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! 
> 
> So this fic is my absolute baby. Something that has taken me quite some time to write, it's been the first story I have been able to conjure up myself which is a delight. 
> 
> I have put so much of my time into this, so much so my dressing table and laptop have been my only friends. I have stuck to it, even when I was disgustingly hungover and wanted to eat my body weight in food in bed, I still got to it. 
> 
> A few warnings as to what this will include - This fic will include conversations and the acting of suggested/attempted suicide, I understand some may be triggered by this so this is a warning now that this a base subject for some part of the story, 
> 
> I swear, a lot. My mouth is awful, I swear in every other sentence it's my worst habit so rightfully so I have added my potty mouth into the characters, so expect a lot of that. 
> 
> Yes, there is smut, due to so many people reading fics purely for that. I understand the attraction to it, I really do. However, I have always felt so uncomfortable writing it as I myself am just your common white straight bitch and feel as though I won't give it justice. So, I've tried to make it as realistic as possible but there's your warning.
> 
> Disclaimer:
> 
> This story is completely fictional, all writing from myself. The characters are in no way affiliated with the real people. This is all ficitional for recreational use. 
> 
> So! Let me know what you think in the comments. Follow me on @text_larry.  
>  _thank you to Kara for the cover_

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Track for chapter: A-Punk - Vampire Weekend. 
> 
> Highly recommend. It’s like a theme tune to Louis and his character.

  
[NonDisclosure](https://babynamesetc.com/michael-jackson-kids-names)   


 

 

 

Louis can’t remember a time when he hadn’t been a hopeless romantic. He remembers from a young age that his mother had always read stories to him focused around true love and meeting ‘ _the_ _one_ ’. His favourite story from childhood was always Cinderella, as cliché as it was. Despite the lack of female anatomy, he always wanted the story, someone to fall in love with him the moment he stepped into the room and that would be it, they would know from that moment on that they were destined for each other.

  
But that wasn’t how life worked, unfortunately. And Louis learnt that as he grew older, failed relationships, lack of sparks and less and less chance of meeting his ‘one’ would eventually push him to the career he was in.  
  
He knew growing up he wanted to work around the idea of ‘love’, creating it and showing the world that it was still there and not to give up hope. He definitely wasn’t the right guy for becoming some sort of guru, but he was good with his imagination and his undefined lust for it. It was his love of cheesy romantic movies and novels that caught him, it was destined that one day he would be able to create his own. And that’s exactly what he did.  
  
Louis Tomlinson, one of the most prestigious Directors to come from the U.K. Known for his number of work within the Romantic/Comedy movies around the globe, as well as writing a few of his own independent movies - he was a household name.  
  
If he wanted to be known for something, he knew that it was most definitely this.  
  
He received multiple letters, emails and tweets from fans, daily, who gushed their heart out over his work and their personal stories. His heart swelled at the comments of admiration over his way of portraying true love and how others had found their own.    
  
So much so, that he was now currently in his car being driven to the Royal Albert Hall to receive his award for Continuous prestigious involvement in film making. It was an honour. Something he had only dreamed about since starting his career. But nonetheless, he was beyond nervous.  
  
“You alright mate?”  
  
Louis glanced up at his best friend with panicked eyes, shaking his head “No, I don’t think so. What if I fucking puke on stage?”  
  
“I mean, I would try not to do that”  
  
Niall had offered to come with him, his mother and sisters had already travelled up to London that afternoon and were most likely already inside and seated. He needed a date, but that was a hopeless cause, Louis’ love life was beyond a joke compared to the ones he directed in film. So, Niall it was.  
  
“Yeah, thanks for that mate”  
  
Niall shrugged “don’t stress it. What’s the most important thing here, yeah? You getting an award for all your hard work. Forget about everyone else there”  
  
“Kind of hard to do when Prince William is going to be in the room, a table away from us”  
  
“What’s the big issue there? It’s not the queen, what’s there to worry about”  
  
“I’m stressing aren’t I?”  
  
“Yes, you bloody are. Calm yourself”  
  
Louis nodded, he was used to hiding behind a camera not being in front of it. And knowing that he was about to be broadcasted across every screen in the U.K. was terrifying.  
  
As soon as they arrived, everything was an entire whirlwind. He couldn’t concentrate at all with all the lights flashing across his face the moment he left the car, during interviews his mind was blank when it came to every question, he was certain he must have babbled every answer like a fool.  
  
That was only going to be the start of his embarrassment because he knew once he stepped on that stage he would either fall over, creak the award or say something completely ridiculous. He should have just done what others did, say he couldn’t attend and did a video message to thank everyone, save himself the energy.  
  
Once inside, Louis and Niall were escorted to one of the front row tables alongside a few other filmmakers and producers. He wasn’t completely aware of who they were but that’s his own fault for being an awful celebrity.  
  
He sat down, greeting the strangers at the table and was quick to grab the bottle of wine and a glass from the table. He didn’t care what he looked like, he filled his glass to the brim and had it to his lips in seconds.  
  
“Calm down” Niall said, patting his back.  
  
Louis was surprised to see Niall had made an effort this evening, it was the first time he had noticed his attire since picking him up. He was dressed in some branded suit, most likely cosying his entire wage and looked dapper.  
  
“You look hot tonight” Louis mused.  
  
Niall snorted “Oh, sorry, should I have came in my tracksuit?”  
  
“I mean, you are a golfer”  
  
“What? Okay, you’re rambling...”  
  
Louis glanced around the room, he was already half way through his wine glass, he saw multiple big names stars seated around him and he didn’t even have it in him to fan girl over it, he was filled with nerves.  
  
“Your mum’s over there” Niall elbowed Louis, pointing to a few tables behind  
  
Louis clocked her and stood, he began waving like a crazy person until she noticed and laughed at her son. She stood and waved back, urging his younger sisters to do the same. Louis only stopped once the people around him began staring at him with concern.  
  
Niall pulled him down with a laugh until Louis was seated again.  
  
Louis was just about to start frantically talking about how nervous he was when the lights dimmed and the crowd at the back began to cheer. He reached for his glass frantically and downed the remainder of his wine, his other hand reaching out to grab for the bottle.  
  
“If you carry on, you’ll be pissed by the time you get up on stage” Niall snatched the bottle once Louis’ glass was half full.  
  
“I need it” Louis whined.  
  
“Can everyone quieten down” An announcer spoke across the hall. “We’re going live in 30 seconds”  
  
“When’s your award?”  
  
“They said about forty minutes in”  
  
“How longs the ceremony?”  
  
“An hour”  
  
“Okay” Niall nodded, turning to glance round again “I can’t see Prince William”  
  
“He’s probably in some fancy seating. He’s far too upper class for us peasants”  
  
“Hush” Niall said, noticing that the spotlight had arose on the stage.  
  
Louis sat back in his seat, his glass in his hand and rested on his thigh. He took a deep breath, he had to be professional. He had received awards before but nothing like this, this was easily one of the biggest in his six year career.  
  
“Welcome to the 2018 Royal Prestigious Awards” The announcer spoke “Please welcome your host for the evening, Mr Harry Styles”  
  
Louis watched as the spotlight moved to the side of the stage and out he came. Louis’ breath hitched as he watched the man walk across the stage, so effortlessly, it was as if he had walked the Victoria Secret stage, he moved with such grace and professionalism. He was dressed in what was almost certainly a brand like Gucci, it was bright pink. The jacket something you would expect from the legend Freddie Mercury, bright and beaming, crystals that were most likely Swarovski had been embroidered along the lining. His hair hung against his shoulders, so beautifully pushed back from his eyes. Louis was mesmerised,  he looked like a prince. Much like every celebrity.  
  
“That’s that dickhead” Niall whispered and Louis frowned, confused “Remember? The actor who had one of the members of the camera crew from his last film sacked for looking at him? I heard that he made an author cry because he told her that her novel was shit and anyone involved in that movie would ruin their career”  
  
“Wow” Louis said, suddenly the amazement from the prince drained from him.  
  
“It’s true” Someone else on their table spoke “We scouted him for our latest movie, he turned up to the audition and basically told us that we were lucky to have him in the same room as him, such a bloody prick”  
  
“What did you say to that?”  
  
“We told him to leave. We told him that we didn’t want to work with any pretentious venomous actors... he tried to sue us”  
  
Niall scoffed “He what?”  
  
“Hello, thank you for joining me on such a fantastic evening” Harry said, he was stood centre stage. “I would like to thank your highness Prince William for joining us for the occasion, we are honoured to have you”  
  
“He doesn’t sound that awful” Louis hissed.  
  
“We have a bunch of awards to give out this evening to some extremely fantastic people who have dedicated time and spectacular talents to our enjoyment. Now, why don’t we get on with praising these wonderful people?”  
  
Louis sat back and watched, the first half an hour of the show was fascinating. So many talented and beautiful people receiving awards for their spectacular talents and Louis had never been in a room with so many talented people before.  
  
He watched Harry Styles throughout, the people at his table continued to make snide comments about him throughout the show. He couldn’t see what they were on about, he didn’t know whether he was simply not seeing the issues or if it was because he had no idea who this actor was and what the problem was.  
  
It was a break before the next segment of the show and Louis took his chance to make a quick run over to his family, he knew that in the next half it would be his turn and right now he needed a hug from his mum to calm him.  
  
Niall had ran off to chat up one the girls at the table next to them, he had done that half way through the show but had yet to return.  
  
He approached his mum, arms open as she stood up to greet him. She pulled him in close and kissed his cheek repeatedly “I’m so proud of you”. It took a good minute for her to finally let go and let his little sisters have a chance too. He smiled, giving them all a kiss on the cheek.  
  
“How you feeling, boo?”  
  
“Nervous as fu... I mean, yeah, nervous” He said, his mum ready to scold him for swearing. “I don’t even know what I’m meant to say”  
  
“Just be honest, say thank you and tell them what it means to you. Keep it easy”  
  
“I just feel like there is so many other people who deserve this more than me”  
  
“Stop it, you. Don’t put yourself down or discredit any of the hard work you’ve made, you’ve got yourself here Louis, you deserve this just as much as the next person”  
  
“Thank you”  
  
She smiled, holding onto his hand as she sat back in her seat “I can’t believe they’ve got that Harry guy presenting... he’s meant to be hard work”  
  
“Oh?”  
  
His little sister Lottie nodded “I read online that he slapped his co star because he tried to rehearse with him”  
  
“He... What?” Louis frowned “These stories get worse. I’ve not even been in here an hour and I’ve probably heard his life story”  
  
“You never know, could just be the press who are making up stories...”  
  
“I doubt it” Louis said, he glanced up as the lights dimmed again. He squeezed his mum’s hand once more “I’ve gotta go”  
  
“Good luck, honey”  
  
Louis smiled and crouched, quickly making his way back to his table where Niall had finally returned to. He fell back into his seat and Niall passed him another glass of wine.  
  
“This is exciting, ain’t it?” Niall said.  
  
Louis nodded, but he was beyond excitement. He was more stupidly nervous and shaking.  
  
“Welcome back” Harry said into the camera directed at him. “We have given out some amazing awards tonight, however our next one is by far one our most prestigious. Please have a look at why...”  
  
Harry held his hand out towards the large screen above him and that’s when an ensemble of Louis’ work began to show to the crowd around him and everyone at home watching. He watched as his multiple works played in front of him and he chose to finish his wine rather than indulge in this.  
  
“I forgot how many movies you’ve made” Niall said, placing a hand on Louis’ shoulder “it’s amazing mate”  
  
Louis nodded, glancing back up as the movie clips stopped and his name appeared.  
  
“I would like to present this next award to Louis Tomlinson for his contribution to film”  
  
The audience and crowd of celebs around him all stood to their feet and began to clap, it was Louis who was the last to stand. He had to be pulled to his feet by Niall. He hugged him, turning to thank the others around his table. He buttoned up his suit jacket and began his descent towards the stage. He took careful steps as he walked up, reminding himself not to trip over his own feet. It was a relief as he reached the top, he didn’t dare look out yet.  
  
He looked ahead and glanced at Harry who was stood behind the podium waiting for him, the closer he got the more radiant he became. For someone who was quite easily described as the Demon Actor, he could easily deceive anyone with his beautiful exterior.  
  
He reached him and Harry’s arms extended out to hug him, his show stopping smile had faltered once the cameras couldn’t see it and it was the least meaningful hug Louis had ever received from anyone, ever. It was short, brief and careless.  
  
Louis pulled back, accepting the award from Harry who’s smile was now radiant once again now the cameras were in view. He was definitely an actor, that was for sure.  
  
Harry stepped back and Louis approached the podium, slightly struck by the array of people and lights shining in his face.  
  
“Hello” He said towards the mic, his nerves evident in his voice to anyone who knew him.  
  
“Wow. I honestly have thought about what I would say at this moment and I’m just as speechless I was when I found out” Louis breathed a short laugh “I’m so grateful to be awarded such an amazing award, I almost don’t feel worthy of it. I know there was a lot controversy around  my ability and age when I began this career, a lot of people doubted what I was capable of and I would like to think by receiving this award I have somewhat shown my dedicated to this field...”  
  
He glanced up, his mum’s eyes in sight and smiled “I am grateful for every movie I have had the honour of working with along with the cast and crew that made my visions come to life, without their spectacular talents I would not be here now... I would also like to say a massive thank you my best friend Niall who made fun of me for years over my silly love for cliché romance movies but still supported me through all of this”  
  
“The biggest thank you I can give other than to the academy for awarding me this and the fans I do have, for some reason... Is my mum. I grew up in a home where imagination was encouraged, to dream and to believe, I grew up listening to the stories my mother read me. And those were all the books that shaped me into the person I am today. Without her and her undeniable love and encouragement, I wouldn’t be able to do my job. So to her, I am forever grateful”  
  
He smiled, taking a deep breath “I am honoured beyond belief but thank you so very much for this, all of you”  
  
He listened as the crowd began to clap and cheer once more and he took that as his queue to leave. He held his award up in the air for a second and turned his back, following Harry off stage as the announcer announced that it was now a commercial break.  
  
Once he reached backstage, he let his shoulders fall, the tension drifting from them instantly. He stopped in his tracks and gazed at the award in his hands, he couldn’t believe it, how far he had come in such a small time.  
  
The little boy from Doncaster dressed up in a Cinderella dress attempting to find a prince never would have believed he would be here.  
  
“So, like, how come you’ve won this? I mean, I’ve never heard of you”  
  
Louis frowned, dropping his hands. He turned to his side and was faced with Harry, he was stood beside him, a blasé look across his face and his arms crossed.  
  
“I... Pardon?” Louis asked, confused.  
  
“I’ve worked with the world’s best directors and this award goes specifically to those people and I’ve never heard of you”  
  
“That’s because you haven’t worked with me” Louis defended, holding his award close.  
  
“I don’t have to work with you to know your name, darling. This is show biz, everyone knows everyone and it seems you’re a bit of a nobody” Harry fired back.  
  
“Well, it seems you know it all, _darling_ ” Louis scoffed “You know, I really love the cliché arsehole actor role you’re playing right now. What’s it like?”  
  
“What’s what like?”  
  
“Walking round with a stick shoved that far up your arse? Must be really sad always being the biggest dickhead in the room”  
  
He didn’t give Harry a chance to respond, he didn’t have time for ridiculous actors. He turned his back to him and head down the side stairs, ready to share his excitement with people that cared.  
  
His mum, Niall and his sisters all ran to him once he was back out the front of the stage. All enveloping him in cuddles and appreciation and he was so overwhelmed. He was too happy to care about Harry or his comments, so much so that every time he glanced at him through the rest of the show he simply smiled.  
  
He was going to get stupidly drunk, celebrate his win and end up hungover for days.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tracklist for the chapter. These are just a select few of songs I listened to whilst writing. Highly recommend. 
> 
> The Strokes - Last Nite   
> Jake Bugg - Lightening Bolt  
> The Lunineers - Morning Song.

“So, we have an audition at eleven. You have a phone call with the author at midday and then we’ll be holding a meeting with the chosen cast at around three, depending if they can all get here on time”    
  
“Okay. Can we push the phone call to one? I don’t want to rush the audition” Louis said, his eyes focused on his phone as he walked the halls of the studios.    
  
“Of course, Mr Tomlinson. I should also mention that Casting would like to have a word with you before the interview, they’re in their office at the moment”    
  
Louis sighed “Okay. Can you make sure that wardrobe have located that one shirt I was after? Make sure they know it’s absolutely vital that we have that before we start filming”    
  
“Yes, Sir.” His assistant nodding, disappearing the opposite way.    
  
Louis had spent the past three months working on his next movie, there were so many steps to actually creating it. It was constant casting calls, collaborations with the script team and the author and multiple press conversations in regards to its release. It was tedious. Louis’ favourite part was the creating and definitely not the part before.    
  
He sipped on his black tea as he rounded the corner to the meeting room that the casting team had claimed as their own. He didn’t knock, he pushed the door with his side and entered in with a look of despair. Whenever they asked him to come in it usually meant something bad was about to be said, he ran ideas in his head, whether it would be a cast member dropping out last minute or an issue between actors.    
  
“Good morning” Sarah sang, greeting him into the room. She was the head of casting and had worked with Louis since the start.    
  
“Please tell me you’re not about to ruin my day? I have too much going on right now”    
  
“Take a seat, Lou” She said, nodding to the empty seat at the head of the table.    
  
He sighed and walked around the table to take his seat, he placed his cup onto the table and shuffled forward. He glanced around the table and all of them seemed to avoid eye contact, except Sarah who was fearless.    
  
“We had a word with the production company and the author this morning Louis”    
  
“Okay...” He cautioned.     
  
“They’ve been speaking and it seems John has made it extremely clear who he would like to play the main lead and it seems as though the production company are agreeing to his demands, whether we agree or not”    
  
Louis rolled his eyes “Of course they are. That bloody arse has been a nightmare since we took on this story... How can someone who has written such a beautiful love story be such an awful person?”    
  
“Well, that awful person is a multi million pound author with a huge fan base that would back his ideas no matter what and that means we have to agree to his demands”    
  
“What’s the deal, Sarah? What’s going on?”    
  
“You’re not going to like this” She warned, she pulled out a wallet from under the gable and placed it in front of her. “We officially have no choice in the casting of the lead role in this movie, they have already auditioned and agreed a contract with their choice of actor”    
  
Louis choked on his tea “They what? What the fuck? How can they do that? I don’t get what goes on in their thick heads, how am I supposed create a movie with my imagery if I can’t have the people i need to do that?”    
  
“They knew you would say that, they have told me to assure you that they have made a decision they think you will be pleased with”    
  
“I don’t even know what to say”    
  
“Less work for you?” Sarah attempted to ease the subject.    
  
“Show me then” He sighed, leaning against the table.    
  
Sarah glanced at the file in front of her and reluctantly slid it over to Louis. Louis already knew that this was bad news, the look on her face told him enough. He just hoped it wasn’t one of the arse hole actors he had worked with in his early days, they were the worst.    
  
But, when he opened the file he was beyond disappointed and completely done with this movie already, than he had originally thought he would be. His eyes scanned the name and the photo and he slowly lifted his head to look at Sarah, she had dropped her head attempting to hide from Louis.    
  
“Harry fucking Styles? No, nope, I’m not... How on earth could they agree to this? The guys so far up up his own arse that he breathes from it. I’m not working with that egotistic, pretentious and quite frankly, awful, human being!”    
  
“We haven’t got a choice Lou, he’ll be here this afternoon for the cast meeting”    
  
“This is a joke” Louis seethed “He doesn’t even match well with the love interest, he is so sweet and innocent and care free and he’s... well, he’s a prick”    
  
“He’s a good actor though despite who he is behind the mask. He‘s known for taking on every role he gets and transforming into that character, he might be good” She inclined.    
  
“I don’t know if I can do this” Louis paused, he thought about the award ceremony and his short but lasting conversation with him. He had been left riled up for days once the excitement from it all had drifted, he just found himself becoming angrier and more spiteful about Harry’s comments the longer it went on.    
  
“You’ve wanted this deal since the book came out babe, you cannot let this ruin it for you. You’ve worked so fucking hard for this. If you left, the movie would drop, they wanted you and no other director”    
  
“But is it worth it? Filming is going to take at least six months, Sarah. I don’t know if I can actually cope with him for that long. He’s too demanding” Louis remarked.    
  
“You’re the best in the business. You know how to deal with difficult actors, if anyone can deal or take on Harry Styles, it’s you!”    
  
“You better hope you’re right”    
  
Louis day had started miserably, he couldn’t hide the obvious irritation from the news. Throughout the audition he sat through, he couldn’t even focus on the actual performer and he felt terrible, he watched the girl pour her heart out into it and Louis’ mind was washed away thinking about how this movie could easily be ruined thanks to the new addition to the cast. The meeting with the author was equally as awful, he had to stop himself from scolding him for making such a bad choice in casting. He knew it was his book and his choice ultimately but this was a directors worst nightmare.    
  
He was running purposely late to the cast meeting, he wanted to make a point of who was in charge on this movie set before Harry even had a chance to stick his two pence in.      
  
He sat back in his office, gazing at the clock as time went by, he knew he should have been there at three to welcome them all in. But to make sure this movie was as perfect and wonderful as he hoped, he needed to play the part - show them it was him who was running the show and it was all his decision.    
  
It wasn’t until his phone rang for the fifth time that he finally decided to make a move, he was fifteen minutes late, just enough time to irritate Harry in the process. He shoved a hoodie over his head and pulled it over his torso, pulling the sleeves down to cover half of his hands.    
  
He walked the distance of the halls, he was more than aware that nearly all members of the movie including the crew were waiting, it was so quiet for a studio. No one running around, no music playing, just silent. He appreciated it, it was always short lived. He arrived at the doors to the studio and took a deep breath before shoving the two double doors open, the array of chatter came to a halt as he stepped in.    
  
All eyes in the room followed him as he walked the distance between the doors and the large stage that was set up ahead of them, he felt powerful, like he was really in charge here. It definitely pushed a slight feeling of importance into his body that he loved.    
  
He reached the stage and stood in the centre, all of the cast and crew were sat back and looking at his with eager eyes and excitement and that’s when he locked Harry. Harry was sat in the front row, sunglasses over his eyes and leaning his head against his hand - he was easily the least interested of them all, he almost looked bored and Louis hadn’t even spoke yet. It annoyed Louis, people would only dream of achieving a role like this, to be where he was, but to him, it seemed like nothing.    
  
“Hello everyone” Louis clapped his hands together “Thank you all for meeting here today. I hope you have all had a chance to meet your co-stars and the crew we will be working with throughout the process of this movie”    
  
A few members of the cast nodded with a smile and Harry, well, he hadn’t moved an inch.    
  
“You should all know how very lucky you are to be with us today. This movie is one of the best selling books of this generation, there is a massive expectation of us which means I will ensure that it is met” He warned, physically turning to glare at Harry who simply smirked. “If at any time I feel as though you are not compatible with the character you are playing or are not taking this role seriously, I will be sending you straight home”   
  
Louis paused, watching the determined faces.    
  
“I want to ensure this movie reaches number one on the box office sales, I want all of your names to be spoken about positively and admirably and enhance your career. I want the best for this book, it’s reputation, your future and the authors success. If you feel like you are not capable of achieving that then I encourage you to leave”    
  
Louis continued “Filming will approximately take around six months however is subject to change, which was stated in your contracts. We hope to release the movie in February next year, around Valentine’s Day. We will be filming most scenes right here in London however we will be travelling to Paris for two months to film a few scenes. I need your availability and flexibility throughout this filming process. But most of all your dedication... Now, we encourage you to mingle almost each other. We have food and drinks arriving once I give the cue to our lovely catering group, so I really do hope you all get to know one another, become comfortable with their company and get excited. Filming starts on Monday”    
  
He didn’t leave with a thank you, nor did he give much more information, he exited the stage and nodded for Sarah to take over. He walked down the stairs and walked to sit himself in the corner on a single chair, pulling himself from the group to ensure they knew what his role was here - he was friendly, really, he was but he needed this to work more so than any other project before.    
  
He sat, his legs crossed over and arms folded. He didn’t concentrate much on what Sarah was saying, he found himself glancing across the room towards Harry. He watched his every move, how nonchalant he was, how bored and completely unbothered. The other actors were intrigued and laughing with Sarah and her awful jokes, not Harry. He couldn’t figure out why this stupid famous actor had turned into the cliché arse hole that everyone heard about but boy, he knew how to play the part.    
  
Sarah finished her chat and everyone began to mingle, a few of the younger cast members running to the free wine table to get started. The start of filming parties were just as fun as the end ones, not as well deserved or needed but fun, nonetheless. He never usually joined in much with them, left a few hours into it, but he wanted to really get to know his cast.    
  
“It’s such an honour to work with you”    
  
Louis smiled at the young girl “Thank you. I’m sure I will feel the same once I see your work, won’t I?”    
  
“I only hope that I can be as fantastic as you hope, it’s my dream to be one of your reoccurring actresses - you’re an idol to me”    
  
“Really, you don’t need to kiss my ass” Louis snorted, sipping his glass of wine.    
  
“I’m sorry...” She blushed, pushing her hair back.    
  
“Not that I don’t enjoy it, of course”    
  
“Of course” She agreed.    
  
Louis nodded with a wink. He found himself being surrounded by numerous people, all asking questions and praising him. He liked the attention, of course, but it was overwhelming to say the least. He had been mingling for at least an hour now, making the rounds through them all and he was trying to figure out when he would be able to escape and get to the pub with Niall.    
  
Just as he was about to escape the crowd, he felt a tap on his shoulder.    
  
He turned round with a gracious smile but it soon dropped when he was faced with Harry. He was stood, his sunglasses now pushed into his hair and a smile across his face.    
  
“On a scale of 1 to 10 how pissed off were you that it was me in the movie?”    
  
“An easy ten” Louis verified.   
  
“Wow. That bad, huh?”    
  
“Quite. Now if you’ll excuse...”    
  
“I mean, you had so much to say about me the night of the awards. So, rightfully so I thought it was only fair that I show you just how good I am”    
  
Louis rolled his eyes “A little pretentious, don’t you think?”    
  
“I like to consider it, a gift, for you”    
  
“A very unwanted one... is there a receipt? I think I’d like to return it to the trash filled hole it was found from”    
  
“Harsh words, Tomlinson” Harry mused “Now, let me ask, is it the rumours that you’ve heard that makes you dislike me so much?”    
  
“Oh, no, no” Louis shook his head, he finished his glass of wine and placed it on the tray beside them. “What makes me dislike you so much is your obvious lack of care for anything or anyone but yourself, your self righteous attitude and ability to ensure nobody likes you as soon as you walk into a room. I prefer to work with Actors who want to do this, who enjoy it and are grateful for everything they receive”    
  
“And you assume I’m not?”    
  
“What? Grateful? Far from it... You see, you wormed your way into the field of acting, you didn’t earn it” Louis said, remembering his sneaky google search the day after he had met him “Famous dad, model mother, you had it all made up for you. I’ve seen some of your work, I won’t deny you have a talent but I have seen much better. And I don’t think you have the right to act the way you are unless your name is Leo DiCaprio, which, it isn’t. And you will never be on par, thanks to your impossible and disgusting attitude. So, no, I do not believe you’re grateful, now if you’ll excuse me it’s my cue to leave”    
  
“Did you-“ Louis cut him off, he turned his back to him and walked away.    
  
This man wasn’t going to ruin this experience for him, this was the movie of a lifetime and if Harry Styles was going to star in then he was going to make him work for it. No easy life here.    



	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tracks for chapter 3. Recommendations that I listened to whilst writing! 
> 
> The Killers - Mr Brightside.   
> Not3s & Mabel - My lover.   
> Astronmyy - Nothin on my mind

Harry sat on the sun lounger in his back garden, his feet dipped into the freezing cold pool and his eyes on his phone. Since getting home he had been engrossed on his screen, googling every interview, every clip and every movie Louis Tomlinson was in. Ever since the awards show he had been infuriated by the man, finding him the most irritating human being he had ever met. He had never had anyone in his whole life that would speak to him that way and well, he envied it. Which only made him hate him more.   
  
“Will you put your phone down?” Liam rolled his eyes, inhaling the smoke from his joint. “You’ve got to stop obsessing. You got the job, you’re going to prove him wrong... What else is there for you to possibly do?”   
  
“He just infuriates me!” Harry Bellowed.   
  
“But why? So what he said a few things you didn’t like, that’s life I’m afraid. You can’t make everyone love you; in fact, hardly anyone does. You are a bit of an arse hole, he’s not wrong”   
  
“Oh, so you agree?” Harry’s head snapped to look at him.   
  
Liam sighed “No, Harry. I’m just saying, you’ve got to chill man”   
  
“You wouldn’t understand. I mean, can you believe he said I didn’t work hard?”   
  
“Yes, I can. You were in your first movie at four, thanks to your mum. So I kinda see...”   
  
“Stop agreeing with him! You’re meant to be my best friend, agree with me!”   
  
“You’re like a child” Liam snorted “If you’re that interested in pissing him off like the stroppy toddler that you are, then kill him with kindness. He would hate that, you’d be proving him wrong by being nice”   
  
“That’s so cliché, kill him with kindness”   
  
“But, it would work, right?” Liam declared. “Anyway, he’s actually a really nice guy. I met him at the Brit Awards and I must have spoken to him for a good forty minutes, he’s alright”   
  
“You’re not allowed to like the enemy”   
  
“Harry, if that was true I wouldn’t have any friends at all. No one in showbiz likes you, you’re a dick”   
  
“But I’m a nice dick”   
  
“Definitely not” Liam exhaled his smoke.   
  
Harry pondered for a moment, he knew Liam had the right idea. If he continued to push Louis and cause arguments then it wouldn’t get him anywhere, they would equally be as annoyed as one another - But, if he was to act the nice guy and prove him wrong then he would be the one laughing and Louis would be annoyed. There was an idea here that he was ready to use.   
  
The next day, he arrived at the first shooting location with half an hour to spare. If he wanted to do this, he had to be enthusiastic about it, even if he would rather be in his Pilates class right now with a Starbucks.   
  
Liam had said to him again before he left “Why do you want to prove yourself so much to this guy? What’s so important?”   
  
Harry didn’t know. When he first saw Louis on stage that night, despite himself he admired the older lad. He was lost in his wash of blue eyes and nervous smile, the giddiness in every step he took and when he approached him backstage, he really didn’t mean to sound as accusatory or pushy as he did but he clearly pushed a button on Louis that night and the admiration soon fell.   
  
And now, he knew that him being one of the most prestigious of actors to come from the U.K. and Louis being that for the filmmaking side, he had a bit of a war going on. Two of the most powerful men in the movie business on the same side, both with a staggering hate for one another. He wanted to come out the good side, a few good comments and press about himself and less so for Louis, the look on his face when he would be presented as the bad guy would be the massive ‘ _fuck you_ ’ that Harry wanted.   
  
Liam was right, he was childish, the worst - but that’s how he got what he wanted and he was bloody good at it.   
  
He walked into the studio, two coffees in his hand and greeted all of the staff and crew members he passed - he wasn’t as much of a dick as everyone said, he was polite some times. He was ready for this, to act the good guy.   
  
He walked through the double doors once again, staggeringly early and was faced with only Louis in the room. He was sat on the edge of a stage, his legs crossed, his head leaning on the palm of his hand and was engrossed in the book he had on his lap - Usually, the directors he worked with would already be shouting their orders, frantically running around the place to make sure that everything was set and ready to go but Louis was as calm as anything. Harry stopped himself from admiring how soft and small Louis looked sitting on the stage and shook himself back to the matter at hand.   
  
“Good Morning, Tomlinson” He greeted.   
  
Louis’ head shot up from his book, he glanced at Harry and frowned and then checked his watch. Harry couldn’t tell if it was confusion of irritation crossing his face.   
  
“You do realise we don’t actually start for another half an hour? Are you lost?”   
  
Harry shook his head, forcing a smile “Nope. I like to get here early, take it all in”   
  
“Right” Louis snorted, disbelieving.   
  
Harry frowned, he walked further into the room and stopped in front of Louis. He held his hand out with the takeaway coffee in hand and grinned at him. Louis’ face fell, a look that could only be described as ‘ _done with Harry_ ’.   
  
“What is this?”   
  
“Well, I was grabbing myself a coffee this morning and thought you might like one too”   
  
Louis eyes traced over Harry’s face, for a moment he thought Louis was going to take the cup but he just snorted a short laugh and looked back down at his book.   
  
“No thanks, I only drink tea”   
  
“Are you fuck-“ Harry stopped himself, he took a deep breath and forced another smile “That’s fine, no bother. Two for me!”   
  
“Right...” Louis drawled, not looking up.   
  
“Shouldn’t you be busy? Doing something?”   
  
Louis rolled his eyes beneath his long lashes, Harry admired as they fluttered against his cheek.   
  
“I am doing something... I’m reading” Louis said, holding the book up and waving it in Harry’s face.   
  
“What’s it about?” Harry asked, he wasn’t bothered at all. But still, he pulled up a chair and sat opposite Lou on the floor.   
  
“Why are you doing this?”   
  
“Doing what?” Harry shrugged.   
  
“I don’t know what it is you are trying to prove Styles but I can assure you I see right through it, you’re an actor and by the looks of it, a really bad one at that. Why don’t you give it a rest and go and look pretty somewhere else?”   
  
Harry didn’t know whether to smile at the compliment or get up and throw his coffee over Louis was the insult, he was in two minds. This man was infuriating, he was as stubborn as him and Harry hated that.   
  
“Look, I’m not doing anything” Harry said, reluctantly, sipping his coffee. “I’m just asking what you’re reading. You don’t have to look into everything I say or do, you know? Considering you’re such a big lover of books you would think you’d stop and think before judging a book by its cover”   
  
Louis laughed, really laughed this time but it was filled with spite “Judge a book by its cover? Harry I’ve met you, I’ve spoken to you, I think that’s beyond the cover, don’t you?”   
  
“Are you going to tell me what you’re reading? Or am I just gonna have to sit here for the next half an hour and bombard you with questions”   
  
“Fucking hell” Louis groaned, he glanced up at Harry “I’m reading To all the boys I’ve loved before”   
  
“You’re what?” Harry snorted “You’ve got to be kidding? That’s one of the most ridiculous and stupid teenage love stories ever written”   
  
“Do you realise how arrogant you sound?”   
  
“Try and prove me wrong... it’s awful”   
  
“No, it’s not. It’s about coming of age, how others chose to deal with their new found feelings and dealing with love and lost. It’s about learning to allow others to love you and working past the initial opinion on someone and opening yourself up more. The letters are beautiful, raw and personal. There’s so many points it touches on in teenage life and new found adulthood. it might be for teenagers but the actual story is beautiful”   
  
Harry mused, not entirely expecting a full on answer from him, expecting more of a sarcastic comment but he was pleasantly surprised. He had read about Louis’ passion for books, especially romantic novels but he didn’t expect it to be as true as it was.   
  
“Styles, listen, okay?” Louis said, pulling Harry from his thoughts. “This movie we’re about to make is important to me, yeah? The biggest of my career and easily the most challenging. I didn’t want you in my movie, if anything, I remember stating to not allow you in it. But that’s beyond my choice and here you are. All I’m asking is you play along, do your job, listen to me and make my life a little easier, okay?”   
  
“Why is it so important to you?”   
  
“Did you listen to a word I just said? You know what, I forgot you weren’t a normal human being” Louis rolled his eyes, slammed his book closed and stood to his feet. “Just stay out of my way and do your job”   
  
“Louis, come on I was only asking... You’re the one being difficult now”   
  
“Stop it. You’re not about to ruin this for me, not today, okay? Stop acting like a fucking arse lick and be yourself, I prefer it when you’re being a dickhead, I can tolerate it more than all this... fake shit”   
  
“You’re kidding, right?”   
  
“Get yourself into the script room and pick up today’s scene. We’re filming a quick ten minute scene with you and your co-star, you better know all your lines. It’s an iconic part of the movie, I want it filmed and finalised today”   
  
“Today? Why are you rushing? We can take a few weeks to film it, chill”   
  
“Who are you talking to? I didn’t realise that you were the one shooting, directing and producing this movie?” Louis quizzed and Harry’s shoulders slumped “No, I didn’t think so. I have six months, that’s half the time of any other movie. I want this fast”   
  
“Woah! I’m the only one who’s new to this movie. How am I supposed to know my lines? Everyone’s had more time!”   
  
“Well, you love to pretend you’re a world class actor right? Prove it”   
  
And with that, Louis walked away from him and Harry was left with his mouth agape. This was clearly going to be hard work, Louis Tomlinson was his his trickiest one yet.   
  
So much sass in such a little man.   
  
So he did exactly what Louis said, he avoided the pre shoot meeting and locked himself away in his dressing room. He had never read the same amount words so many times, usually he took weeks to remember and learn lines but a few hours was something new. But he was about to prove to Tommo the Tit that he was more than just a child star, he could do this.   
  
He was called out of his dressing room at half one, he had spent half an hour on the phone to Liam, describing how much of a prick with a good arse Louis really was and could have carried on for hours.   
  
He had his script in his hand, it was no more than a three page scene, a lot of it was action rather than words but still, he needed it perfect. He had yet to meet his co-star, he wasn’t entirely sure who it would be. He hadn’t even told a lot once he accepted this job, he didn’t bother to ask, all he knew was the plot and that it was a Louis Tomlinson movie.   
  
He entered the small set up stage room, it was set out like a bedroom. It was supposed to be a university dorm room but it looked more like a room you would find from a teenager - it was brightly coloured, almost indie themed minus the posters of his best friend Liam scattered across the walls and it was somewhat like his room from back home, the one in which his mum had not changed since moving out.   
  
He gazed at all of the cameras set up around the set, the few crew members and then Louis who was in a deep conversation with someone. He looked incredibly professional now compared to earlier, his glasses were perched on his nose with a script in one hand and a book in the other. Harry couldn’t figure out what was being said but he could see the intense stare Louis had, so involved and animated in his speech. He looked good.   
  
“Mr Styles, this way” A girl appeared at his side, she had a phone in one hand and a clipboard filled with tasks in the other.   
  
Louis’ assistant. That could work to his advantage in this.   
  
He followed her through the mess of wires and cameras until they were stood behind Louis, he could hear him now, talking about the movie and it’s plot.   
  
“This is key, okay? I don’t want to just hear you say these words, I want you to mean it and feel every word, yeah? When the camera is on, you’re not an actor at that point, you’re the character, I want you to put yourself into that mindset, okay? I need this to be real”   
  
“Of course” This boy spoke, nodding his head “I’m excited for this one, I’ll give it my all”   
  
“I know you will, that’s why I wanted you”   
  
His assistant stepped forward “Mr Tomlinson, Harry’s here”   
  
Louis’ shoulders physically tensed just enough for Harry to notice and he watched the other actor bite back a laugh, Louis had most likely pulled a face.   
  
He turned, pushing his reading glasses up and onto his head. He gazed down at Harry and the script “You can go to wardrobe, they have your costume ready” and then turned again.   
  
“Is that it?” Harry huffed.   
  
“Get changed, Styles”   
  
Harry stopped himself from causing a fuss, he had never met anyone so infuriating, so rude and so ridiculous. He still did as he was told, much to his despair.   
  
He gazed at himself in the mirror once he had changed into the outfit lay out for him.   
  
He had to hold a laugh once he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror, he fixed the scarf in his hair that he had been requested to wear and gazed at the choice of outfit. He was dressed in a pair of visibly distressed jeans, rips along his thighs and at the knee. He was then dressed in a plain white tee with a red and black flannel across the top.   
  
He looked like the frat boy version of himself that the fans wrote about in their fan fictions.   
  
“What do you think?” He turned to ask Louis’ assistant that was sat idly on the chair on her phone.   
  
She shrugged “it’s kinda hot”   
  
“I know right?” Harry was never one to put himself down, he had always been told he was a handsome lad. He wasn’t entirely sure if he believed everyone, he saw flaws, but he just agrees now.   
  
“We should go or Louis will have my head”   
  
He nodded, he wasn’t going to protest. She hasn’t done anything, it was only Louis that infuriated him.   
  
He followed him back out onto set, he found Louis sat on the prop bed alongside the other actor he was yet to meet. It was strange, he would usually have multiple meetings to see if the chemistry was there before filming but it seemed Louis had already decided.   
  
He stood beside the two of them, rolling the sleeves of his shirt up to his elbow like he had been instructed. Both Louis and the other actor looked up at him, Louis looked unbothered but the other smiled.   
  
“Right, what’s happening?” Harry asked.   
  
Louis sighed “Right, Harry this is Timothée. He’s going to be playing the main love interest in the movie, which you will have seen from your script”   
  
“Right” He nodded, the other actor who’s name was now Timothée has stood up and stretched out his hand. Usually he wouldn’t bother but it was Louis he was trying to keep happy so he took his hand “pleasure”   
  
“Likewise. I’m a big fan of your work”   
  
“Who isn’t?” Harry dropped his hand.   
  
“Idiot” Louis muttered. “Right, this scene is vital in the movie. It’s one of the most vital due to the climax beforehand, however, I like to make sure we shoot the most important first so we can work around and build up to that moment. This is your chance to prove your acting skills, I want you to force yourself into the shoes of your character, okay?”   
  
“Got it” Timothée nodded.   
  
“Think back to a time that affected you deeply” Louis said, standing up from the bed. He stepped back so he could see both actors “I want you to feel every inch of pain you felt at that very moment whilst delivering your lines, I need this to be as raw and truthful as it can. I understand the issue at hand isn’t one you both may have dealt with but I have to some degree and it’s personal to me”   
  
Harry’s eyes caught Louis at that point, he felt his entire stance fall, he felt his heart drop at Louis’ words. This film was so raw and close to home to so many people, he never expected it to be from Louis himself. He had always been under the impression that he was straight.   
  
“If you manage to make me believe you, then you can do the same to thousands of others. So make sure you give it your all” He said, his eyes focused on Harry. “please”   
  
Harry found himself nodding, he would usually find something to retaliate with when being told what to do - he wasn’t great with receiving orders but he couldn’t find it in him to fight back right there and then.   
  
“Thank you” Louis said.   
  
Harry gazed at his script once more as Louis took his time to leave the set, he focused on the description of movements and actions, linking them to the words. He needed to impress Louis now, he didn’t really know why. Most likely to prove himself.   
  
Not that he needed to but that was kind of the reason he was here anyway.   
  
He noticed Louis take his seat in his chair and he turned to Timothée who was already in place, he glanced once more at the script and then threw it out of shot.   
  
“Okay, on my count from act 4, scene 12”   
  
Harry nodded and exited through the stage door, he watched from behind the makeshift wall for Louis’ cue. He stood with his eyes closed as he tried to imagine something that had hurt him as closely as this would, he almost regretted do so. He was lost in his mind as he began to think back to his school experience, his first relationship, the heart break and embarrassment and he could feel it all washing over him once again and that’s when Louis began counting down from three and he took a deep breath, holding in the tears before they were needed.   
  
The lights turned red, Louis waved his hand at Harry to begin and he barged through the set door nearly pushing the sound guy down.   
  
He stood, the door ajar behind him as he stared at the younger actor. He was sat on the bed, his knees to his chest, his hands in his hair and he rocked back and forth in tears.   
  
“Please tell me it isn’t true” Harry demanded.   
  
He glanced up from in his knees, his eyes raw and the tears real. He parted his mouth like the script said to, broken words escaping as he attempted to reply.   
  
“Jake, tell me right fucking now that they are lying” Harry shouted, his fists clenched and his eyes red and raw as the tears filled his eyes. “Tell me!”   
  
“I’m sorry” He blurted, his legs dropping “I didn’t... I couldn’t do anything, I had to, I just couldn’t say no. I had to!”   
  
“Bullshit!” Harry shouted again, his nostrils flaring from the anger. He felt this “do you know how long I’ve been fucking looking for you? I thought maybe they had taken you away from me or worse, I don’t fucking know. And look where I’ve found you, hidden in your mum’s house”   
  
“I didn’t want to be found... I didn’t want this for us, you know?” He said, his voice broken “I wanted an easy life, it was meant to be simple”   
  
“It could have been a lot simpler if you hadn’t agreed to it... I mean, a fucking fake girlfriend? What the fuck was going through your head!”   
  
“I couldn’t... They... They would have ruined us! They told me I needed to babe, we had to, we would have lost everything” He drawled, tears running down his cheek. “You have to believe me, I had no choice”   
  
Harry barked a spiteful laugh, allowing the tears to finally escape.   
  
“Please. I just... I did it for us”   
  
“Don’t you dare! Don’t you dare sit there and tell me that this is for anyone but yourself. We’re meant to be a team, in this together until the end, that’s what we said”   
  
“I meant it”   
  
“No you didn’t. If you did, you would have thought about someone other than yourself. You really think I want to see my fiancé walk around with some girl attached to his hand? To watch you kiss her and play the happy little couple?”   
  
“The fans were starting to suspect things, Taylor. We are being too obvious! We were one more spotting away from being outed!”   
  
Harry’s eyes bulged out, a breath escaping his lips “That’s the issue is it? Being exposed? What’s so fucking wrong with that? Is that what they told you? Oh please. And you believed them. Wow, I didn’t expect you to be so fucking stupid”   
  
“We could lose fans. We worked so hard for this, we couldn’t throw it all away. It wouldn’t be fair on the boys or the fans”   
  
“What? What about me? How is this fair on me? Is that what you would prefer? To be hidden away and a dirty little secret. Because that’s definitely not what I want”   
  
Timothée shuffled to stand up, he slowly walked towards Harry and reached his hand out to take his hand but Harry snatched his hand sassy and took a few steps away.   
  
“Don’t”   
  
“It’s not all that bad babe, listen to me. All I need to do is a few public outings with her, tweet about her a little and that’s that. We can still be us, just behind closed doors” He pleaded. “It won’t change anything!”   
  
“You don’t get it do you?” Harry spoke in a broken whisper. He sighed, dropping his head. He took a long deep breath and took a step forward. “Don’t you see what they’re doing? They don’t want us together. We work for a bunch of old homophobic arseholes who would rather ruin our personal lives than have anyone believe we’re even slightly romantically inclined. They would rather closet us. That’s disgusting”   
  
“They’re doing it for us, for the band...”   
  
“No!” Harry said, his head dropping back in exhaustion. He crouched down, his hands reaching to cup his cheeks “Wake the fuck up! This is real life, the people around you aren’t as fucking wonderful as you think and this is only going to get worse!”   
  
“No, they said...”   
  
“It’s pointless” Harry said, dropping his arms “You’re as blind as they are”   
  
“What do you mean?”   
  
“I mean, I can’t pretend like you can. I can’t be apart of such a disgusting narrative to hide away LGBQT members just because they don’t like it, it’s sickening. Offensive. You might be able to play along with this all, but I won’t”   
  
“What are you saying?” His voice cracked.   
  
“I’m saying, we can’t be together not like this. I want someone who will fight for our love, I need someone that will defend us when I’m not around, who will fight for freedom and our right to love. But you can’t do that” Harry said, his voice barely there. “And that’s okay. You chose your career, it’s what you’ve always wanted. But I can walk away from this and be fine. I can still be who I am and that’s more important than all the money and fame in the world”   
  
“But you said, you said it’s us till the end”   
  
“It was, but you chose otherwise”   
  
“Please, you can’t leave me...”   
  
“You made your decision”   
  
Harry was stood broken, tears streaming down his face and emotionally exhausted. He was raw and open for everyone in the room to see, everyone would assume his emotions were nothing more than an impressive acting trick but he could feel everything this character was feeling - the hurt, betrayal, heartbreak and disappointment and he could only imagine how it must have felt to actually stand in those shoes.   
  
“Thank you” Louis said, his voice soft.   
  
Harry pulled himself from his thoughts and turned to Louis, his eyes still brimming with tears.   
  
“That was fantastic, truly” He nodded. “I’m going to have to ask you to do another take, just for good measures but I’d say that was the one. Truly, it was beautiful”   
  
“Thank you” Timothée said, he was completely fine, the emotions gone and back to the cheerful guy he was.   
  
Harry on the other hand was still coming to terms with how much he had taken this small scene in, how emotionally drained he was from a short amount of acting.   
  
“Take a five minute break, yeah?” Louis said, aiming at Harry.   
  
Out of all the movies Harry had been apart of, he had never been able to express what he had today. He was usually in comedies, playing alongside the likes of Kevin Hart, Melissa McCarthy and Will Ferrell. He had never taken on such a heartfelt storyline before and he was starting to doubt whether he was the man to do it.   
  
And that was after the first scene.   
  
A movie about coming of age, coming to terms with sexuality, forced closeting and homophobia. It was subjects that were so heavily publicised in the media and on social media, he had to do this justice. It was too close to home. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter song recommendations I listened to whilst writing! 
> 
> George Ezra - pretty shiny people.   
> Foster The People - Pumped up kicks.   
> Vance Joy - Riptide.

Louis sat back in his seat, exhaling the cigarette smoke from between his lips. He had just spent an hour repeating the same scene between Harry and Timothée and he was as exhausted as his actors.    
  
He was pleasantly surprised by Harry’s dedication to the character, he expected it to be difficult. He expected a fight with every word that came to his mouth but it wasn’t there. He had worked with multiple actors, all beautifully talented but he was still shocked and heart broken by the emotions Harry had thrown into the scene.    
  
He couldn’t work out whether it was because he was trying to one up him or if it was genuine but you could never tell with an actor like that. He really wanted to hate him and his acting but after just one scene he wasn’t so sure anymore.    
  
He flicked his cigarette to the ground and stood up, just as he gazed in front of him he saw Harry walk out of the building, his bag on his shoulder and sunglasses hiding his eyes.    
  
“Styles” He shouted.    
  
Harry perked up, his head turning in the direction of Louis. He waved him over. Harry seemed reluctant at first, gazing at his car and the exit, eventually after a moments thinking he began walking over to him and Louis met him half way.    
  
“What?” Harry said with caution. “Look, if you’re going to insult me and tell me how much of a dreadful person, can it wait until tomorrow? I’ve got places to be”    
  
“That performance was impressive”    
  
“What?” Harry soothed.    
  
“It was impressive. Look, I’m not sure if it’s you trying to prove something but if you keep that up then I would say we’ve got an award winning movie on our hands” Louis admitted, taking another cigarette out. Clearly admitting this caused him enough stress to chain smoke.    
  
“Oh” Harry acknowledged, nodding his head slowly “Thanks, I guess?”    
  
“A thank you” Louis snorted “Wow, never thought I’d hear that”    
  
“Don’t get used to it” Harry’s expression soon changed, the appreciation short lived “Let’s just get on with this yeah? You do your job and I’ll do mine”    
  
“That’s what I’ve been saying from the start”    
  
“You shouldn’t smoke” Harry stated, staring at the cigarette between Louis’ lips.    
  
“Oh?”    
  
“It’s bad for you. It causes all types of health issues, it’s stupid”    
  
“Thanks for your input” Louis inhaled. “It’s kind of an necessity when dealing with stroppy actors”    
  
“You can’t help yourself, can you?”    
  
“Says you! The first time I met you, you were fucking awful to me. You have no idea what anyone else had to do to get into the position we’re in” Louis exhaled swiping his fringe to the side. “you know how shitty of a person you have to be to discredit someone’s hard work? You didn’t even know me and you were talking to me as though I was nothing”    
  
“Well I hadn’t heard of you!” Harry defended poorly. “How was I supposed to know?”    
  
“There’s a little thing called kindness, Styles. Maybe you’ve heard of it? It’s the basic ability to treat people like human beings, it’s quite useful in life. You should try it”    
  
“You’re irritating, I don’t even know why I’m standing here and taking this abuse”    
  
“If you don’t like me, quit” Louis suggested.    
  
“Not a chance! You’re not getting what you want. I’m going to stay on the movie, I’m going to act my ass off and I’m going to receive oscars for it!”    
  
“There it is...”    
  
“What?”    
  
“The stick up your ass”    
  
“My god... no, I’m leaving” Harry said, his arms flying up in the air dramatically. He turned with a stomp of his foot and stormed off towards his car.    
  
“Remember, a whole day of filming tomorrow!”    
  
“Fuck off, Tomlinson!” He retaliated and Louis chuckled.    
  
He watched the younger boy until he was in his car and had driven out of sight. The only good thing about Harry Styles was his acting and how easily he could be wound up. Louis was going to have a fun six months.    
  
Louis was sat in his dressing room, Niall sat opposite him on the couch and flicking through the script. He had been sat in here for an hour, leaving it up to his co-director Stacy to take a few of the minor scenes for him. He had to run through multiple scenes, approve set designs and confirm locations. He didn’t realise he would be taking on so much.    
  
“This is... its fucking deep” Niall said, dropping the script onto his lap “I mean, does that actually happen?”    
  
“Does what happen?” Louis asked, replying to an email on his phone.    
  
“The closeting thing? With famous people?”    
  
“Oh yeah, massively. There’s loads of people contracted to hide their sexuality, I’ve worked with a few”    
  
“That’s awful”    
  
“I know. That’s why we’re going to receive massive controversy for it. It has to be perfect or it could easily end my career”    
  
“That’s a bit deep”    
  
“Yeah well, that’s life mate. People aren’t going to be happy about it especially some of the bigger management companies... I can already hear Simon Cowell threatening to sue us”   
  
“You haven’t even mentioned him” He mused.    
  
“I know but the old bastard will assume it’s all about him and his clients, you know what he’s like. Syco are probably the worst for it”    
  
“What a dick”    
  
Louis hummed, pressing send and dropped his phone onto his lap and picked up one of the contracts for their final location for shooting.    
  
“So, tell me then”    
  
Louis glanced up and frowned “Tell you what?”   
  
“You haven’t called me since filming started  and I know you’re probably desperate to tell me all the reasons Harry Styles is the worst. So come on tell me it all, I’ll sell it to the tabloids for some extra cash”    
  
“There’s not much to say”    
  
“Oh, come on!”    
  
“He’s an arsehole”    
  
“That’s nothing new, that’s public record”    
  
Louis sighed, dropping his pen. “I don’t know. I can’t figure him out? He has the worst attitude, he’s like a spoilt teenager. If he does not get his way then he goes in a huff. He has something to say about everything and loves to point out other people’s flaws... But, despite myself I have to admit he’s an amazing actor”    
  
“I can’t imagine him playing a LGBT character if I’m honest”    
  
“Neither could I. But he’s really taken it on. He has thought about every detail, the emotions he shows during some of the scenes almost has me believing he’s the character... it’s pretty intense man. He has this way with his words, it’s almost mesmerising”    
  
“Mesmerising, huh?”    
  
“Yes and like, sometimes I see him when he’s going through his script and you can see him miming out the actions and practicing his expressions. It’s quite endearing, he’s really got a talent”    
  
“Endearing, talented, mesmerising... any other compliments you want to throw in?”    
  
“Shut up” Louis rolled his eyes. “I’m allowed to appreciate my actors talents. There’s nothing wrong with that”    
  
“You mean drooling over their talents and their face” Niall teased. “He’s your type”    
  
“Since when did I have a type?”    
  
“Assholes. You love the lads that are going to break your heart, it’s a weird type you’ve got. For someone who believes in love at first sight and fate and all that fairytale bullshit, you do have an awful taste in guys”    
  
“I do not!” Louis protested.    
  
“Nick?”    
  
He grimaced “Yeah, well, that was a mistake. I wasn’t myself, I wasn’t aware that he had a boyfriend or that he was cheating on both of us with some other guy... it’s an easy mistake to be made”    
  
“Since when?” Niall barked a laugh “Look, I know you like to look for the best in people but there’s no best in Styles. He’s an actor, he knows how to work people and he’s trying to gain your approval because of your name. If you go round telling people he was amazing to work with then that’s more work for him, yeah? It doesn’t matter how much you fancy him, he’s not the guy to run after”    
  
“Why do you automatically assume I like this guy? Just because I said he’s good at what he does? Come on Niall, that’s below you. Every time Harry opens his mouth other than when he’s acting I want to repeatedly bang my head against a metal pole...”    
  
“Sure”    
  
“Plus, he’s really easy to wind up. I think I’ve made him storm off in a huff ten times through the entire week, it’s fun”    
  
“Whatever. Anyway, when do you have some time off from filming? I’ve been invited to a party in LA for the release of Liam’s album, your also invited... we kinda have to go”    
  
Louis was baffled “Liam invited me?”    
  
“Yes that’s what I said, dickhead”    
  
“When is it?”    
  
“Next weekend”.    
  
“I could always arrange for someone to take over for a little bit... But it could only be like four days max”    
  
“You’ll be jet lagged” Niall cautioned.    
  
“I can’t take any longer, they want this thing done by September. We’re only a week in”    
  
“Fine. So shall I RSVP?”    
  
“Sure” Louis shrugged “I could probably do with a little break. I’ve not had once since... when was my last break?”    
  
“2016”    
  
“Yeah, probably a good idea then”    
  
Niall laughed, pulling his phone out to reply to Liam straight away and Louis finished signing off the congrats on his desk. He had no idea how he was going to explain that he was leaving for four days in a critical time of the movie process.    
  
Niall was on the phone, talking golf to someone and Louis was editing the script, the writers had somehow managed to mess up the final scene and like always, he would be the one to fix someone else’s mess.    
  
He was about to take a break, have a cig, a cup of tea and his first bit of fresh air when the door knocked. Niall didn’t even notice, too busy laughing wildly at something someone had said over the phone.    
  
Louis sighed, rubbing his temple as he shouted “Come in!”    
  
He watched the door open and Harry appear in the doorway, he really didn’t need an over grown toddler stressing him out anymore right now. He came in with a face like thunder, he slammed the door behind him and crossed his arms and Louis couldn’t help but choke out a laugh at him.    
  
“I’ll call you back” Niall said quietly to the phone, realising that Harry has walked in. He was probably hoping for a drama he could sell to The Sun.    
  
“How can I help you, Styles?” Louis asked, amused.    
  
“I cannot work with her. I refuse. Who does she think she is?” He raged.    
  
“Sorry... Who are you talking about?”    
  
“The fake you! The girl out there pretending she knows what she’s doing, she’s a joke Louis! I can’t work under those circumstances. She said the storyline was stupid anyway and then told me I was being too flamboyant... I mean, who the fuck does she think she is? She’s out there insulting everyone!    
  
“She what?” Louis’ expression halted.    
  
“She starting spouting a load of shit at me, but I know that’s what she said, for sure. So I told her she can stick her her shit opinions up her fucking arse and piss off. She’s told me that I’m the worst behaved actor she’s ever worked with, can you fucking believe that?”    
  
“I mean... Yes, I can” Louis admitted.    
  
“Your opinion doesn’t count. Look, either you come back on set or I’m leaving for the day. I refuse to work under such circumstances”    
  
Louis sighed, leaning his arms on the table. He glanced at Niall who was biting on his bottom lip, holding in a shit eating grin.    
  
“Look, Harry. I don’t agree what she said, that is rude and completely ignorant and I understand why you would be upset by this. I will make sure to have a word with her to keep those sort of opinions to herself”    
  
“That’s not good enough!” Harry huffed, sitting down opposite Louis. “I want her gone!”    
  
“Well ‘I want’ doesn’t get, Harry. Unfortunately she is the only person available to help me at the moment and I need her here”    
  
“You know, your job is to direct and you’re currently hiding away in your dressing room with some short guy with shit highlights”    
  
“Hey!” Niall said “They’re not shit”    
  
“Whatever” Harry rolled his eyes. “Listen, I need you out there”    
  
“I get that you miss my fantastic guidance and my amazing skills, Harry. But I have things to do here at the moment, I will be back on set in the next hour or so. For now, just do as she says and I’ll sort it when I’m there”    
  
“I want her gone by tomorrow” He warned.    
  
“Well, unfortunately, she’s going to be here a little longer. She’ll be covering me next weekend whilst I’m away”    
  
“You’re away? What the fuck! You have a movie to create Louis, you can’t be taking holidays in the middle of filming!”    
  
Louis frowned “You do realise that I’m the one making this movie right? It’s ultimately my decision when and what happens. I will be gone for four days max and then I’ll be back and won’t be leaving again”    
  
“Where are you going?”    
  
“LA” He said, grabbing his phone from the table as he heard his email notification go off.    
  
“What? Why?”    
  
“Is that any of your business?” Louis challenged, glancing over his phone.   
  
“Tell me or I’ll tell TMZ that you’re sleeping with James Corden behind his wife’s back”    
  
Louis choked “What?”    
  
“Did you just think of that on the spot?” Niall asked. “That’s impressive”    
  
“Don’t encourage him” Louis hissed at Niall. He turned to Harry exasperated “Me and Niall are attending a party there, it’s only a few days and I’ll be back”    
  
“Please don’t tell me you’re going to Liam’s party”    
  
“And what if I am?”    
  
“You fucking can’t” Harry snapped.    
  
“And why the fuck not?”    
  
“Because! He’s my best friend and I can’t go because I’m stuck on set here. How is it fair that you get to go and I don’t?”    
  
“That’s life, darling. You’ve got work commitments I’m afraid”    
  
Harry stares at Louis like a predator to its prey, he wasn’t sure whether he was contemplating jumping over the table and attacking him like he was his dinner. It was all very concerning nonetheless and Louis waved a hand in front of his face to distract him.    
  
“You know what?”    
  
“What?”    
  
“You’re a real dick, Louis” Harry stated, standing to his feet.    
  
“Nothing new there”    
  
“Bastard” Harry muttered as he stormed out of the room just as he entered it.    
  
Louis laughed, turning to Niall who was still in a daze from everything that had happened. He looked at Louis with his mouth gaped open and his phone in his hand.    
  
“I can’t believe I didn’t film that”    
  
Louis snorted “I’m glad you didn’t. You’d get me done for invasion of privacy”    
  
“He’s going to kill you one day”    
  
“I’d like to see him try. He’d try and stab me and have a fit because the knife isn’t the right shade of silver”    
  
“He’s... I mean, is he human?”    
  
“I haven’t decided yet” Louis mused.    
  
“You’ve still got five and a half months of this. Good fucking luck to you, kiddo”    
  
He needed it. That was proved throughout the week.    
  
Harry had made it his mission to irritate Louis at every available opportunity. That day he had his angry tantrum Louis had returned to set to find out that he had left hours ago. The next day they were waiting two hours before Harry eventually turned up to film, he topped it off by not turning up for his afternoon set. The rest of the week continued the same. One day he turned up still drunk from the night before and was insulting every person working, another day, he sabotaged Timothée’s solo performance by throwing water over him and claimed it as a joke.    
  



	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter song recommendations I listened to whilst writing! 
> 
> Amy shark - Adore.   
> Snakeship - All My friends (this one goes w the chapter)   
> The Vaccines - All My friends are falling in love.

By the time the second week came to an end Louis couldn’t wait to get away from the set and as far away from the diva that is Harry Styles. He called a cast meeting the day he was leaving, much to Harry’s annoyance who still ended up turning late.  
  
“I’ll be away until Tuesday morning, I’ll be coming straight from the airport to here. Even though I am not here please ensure you are still putting the same time and effort into this. I will be back and I will be watching the footage made, any problems or issues then I stick to what I said at the start... you’ll be out”  
  
“You mean anyone who’s not Harry?” One of the boys from the band in the movie sniggered.  
  
“Unfortunately so” Louis said “You know, I wish I could get rid of him just as much as the rest of you”  
  
“I’m honoured” Harry held a hand to his heart, gushing at his words “So kind”  
  
“Best behaviour Styles. Do not ruin this!”  
  
He could not have been happier, he was away from it all. Niall had arranged a bottle of wine for as soon as they stepped foot on the plane to settle Louis’ irritation and it was like a god send. He ended up drinking four of the bottles and passed out for most of the flight which made it all the easier.    
  
He knew that as soon as they were off the plane they would have to make their way to their hotel, have a short nap and be at the release party within a few hours which gave them little to no time at all to adjust to the time difference or massive culture shock.  
  
Louis didn’t mind too much - he liked to be busy which is why he arranged a short press interview the next morning with a few tabloids to discuss the upcoming movie and express its importance. All PR is good PR, whether they hated it or not. More controversy the better.  
  
Louis wasn’t used to the glam and the life that came with being a celebrity, he was used to his quiet life, only people who cared about his work noticing him. That’s what it was like in London, much quieter and less damaging than the LA life. He could not believe the number of flashing lights and reporters shouting his name when they arrived at the party, he had never been one for photos and was not ready for Niall to pull him in for ten minutes of photo ops. He wasn’t even aware that this many people knew who he was or that even cared.  
  
Once he was inside, he was blind, nothing but white lights in his line of vision. Soon it faded and he could appreciate the room he was in. It was lit by neon signs and retro pictures, all of Liam at different locations through his tour and his album covers. His recent album cover was placed as a massive backdrop on the far wall behind the DJ, his plaques for awards surrounding them with every step they took. The amount of people was madness, so many famous names and personalities all here and Louis had never seen a room so rich.  
  
He felt out of place - all the people in here were dressed to impress, dressed in Gucci head to toe, looking like a bunch of stilled models. And he was dressed in the same outfit he had worn to the pub on multiple occasions, his safe skinny jeans, vans and a big oversized top with a skull on. Niall has told him to make more of an effort but he saw no point but now he saw why he had suggested it.  
  
“Come on” Niall said, ushering for Louis to follow.  
  
Louis was surprised by the amount of greetings and praise he received as they walked the floor of the event, names such as Lady Gaga, Ariana Grande and a few actors that he already new. It was a sea of celebs.  
  
Niall grabbed them both a glass of champagne and spotted Liam at the far back of the room, he guided the two of them through the crowd towards him. Once Liam spotted them both, he opened his arms wide with a smile to match.  
  
“Boys!” He greeted, pulling Niall in for a hug first and then Louis, patting his back “I’m so glad you could both make it!”  
  
“Thanks for inviting us” Louis smiled.  
  
“Of course! You think I could have a party without the biggest name in the movie industry? I’d be a flop without you” Liam teased.  
  
“I’m no Spielberg” Louis snorted, swigging his drink. “Congrats on the album! What’s this one? Fourth, fifth?”  
  
“Believe it or not, technically it’s my sixth one. I made one when I was younger, no ones heard it but I’d rather they didn’t... I thought I was some kind of rapper, named myself MC Payno”  
  
“Oh Payno, that’s mortifying” Niall howled.  
  
“Fell down any more hills lately, Niall?”  
  
“That’s a low blow” Niall fires back “it happened once in my entire career and that’s the only bloody thing I’m known for!”  
  
“It was the funniest moment of the year mate”  
  
“He’s got a point” Louis agreed.  
  
“Anyway, ignoring you both. I hope it’s a free bar?”  
  
“You’re such a tight arse. But yes, it’s free until 2am” Liam rolled his eyes, sipping his own beer. “So, hows the new movie?”  
  
“It’s going... Okay. It’s just the start so we’re still working on everything, finding the chemistry between actors and getting the perfect shots”  
  
“Dare I ask how my pal Harry has been?”  
  
“Would you like me to sugar coat it?”  
  
Liam shook his head, fondly. “Be honest”  
  
“A fucking nightmare. He’s like an overgrown toddler, needs to be centre of attention at all times. Plus he’s got the attitude of a pre teen, always huffing and storming off”  
  
“Sounds about right. He’s always been the same. Not good with not getting his own way”  
  
“You wouldn’t say?”  
  
“You should have seen the tantrum he pulled when Louis told him he couldn’t come here this weekend, thought he was going to pounce on him there and then... It was intense”  
  
Liam frowned, looking between them both.    
  
“You told him he couldn’t come?”  
  
“Yeah, he has a few scenes to get finished before next week. The author wants to see them so it’s kinda important” He shrugged.  
  
“Oh” Liam declared.  
  
Louis felt the fear hit him “Why? Why are you saying it like that?”  
  
“He didn’t mention that...”  
  
“No, he bloody better not have!”The worst thoughts crossed his mind at that point.

  
“Is it a bad time to tell you he flew in this afternoon? And he’s currently at the bar” Liam his behind his glass.  
  
Louis felt the anger boil up inside his body, his nose flared as he turned round to see the curly haired idiot standing at the bar. He didn’t want to admire how positively stunning he looked, his hair flowing against his shoulders and a suit so bright to stop traffic or how he somehow managed to light up the room by just existing.  
  
What he wanted to do was empty his glass, walk over there and hit him with it.  
  
“I’m gonna kill him” Louis declared.  
  
“He’s in for it” Niall said, standing back with Liam.  
  
Louis’ tensed and began his descent through the crowd of people, not caring if he just pushed Anne Hathaway into Paul McCartney. He would deal with that later. Right now he had to deal with a defiant man-child.  
  
He stood behind Harry, his fists tensed as his arms crossed over his chest. He had every chance to just jump on him now and have the sneak attack but due to the people in the room right now, it probably wasn’t best.  
  
“Where is my fucking drink?” Harry slurred.  
  
“Harry fucking Styles, why the fuck are you here?” Louis shouted.  
  
He heard Harry’s laugh before he saw his face, he turned round and greeted Louis with a delighted look across his face. He was giggling like a naughty school child, like he knew he was doing something really wrong but wanted to be caught.  
  
“Hi Lou!” He greeted, grabbing his drink from the side. “How’s the jet lag?”  
  
“Why are you here?! Are you that careless? We have a fucking movie to make and you’re the lead, you can’t just run off!”  
  
“You mean, like you did” Harry cocked a brow, sipping through a straw. “relax Louis, you’re always so tense. You should have a drink”  
  
“Harry... I am two minutes away from calling the author and telling her the movie is off. Stop testing me” Louis warned “you are the lead actor and I needed you to be there, I was relying on you to pull this through for me this weekend”  
  
“You were relying on me?” Harry tilted his head, his eyes scrunching up. “But you hate me, silly”  
  
“You’re the most talented and experienced actor I have on the cast, when I want a job done I expect you to be there ensuring we do exactly that. What kind of example are you setting for the rest of the cast, huh?”  
  
“When you’re angry you get these cute lines on your forehead and it’s hard to concentrate”  
  
“You’re so drunk”  
  
“And you’re so cute!” Harry giggled. And Louis’ heart melted only a little bit. He was too angry to admire him.  
  
“Harry, you’re going to put me in an early grave. I’ve never dealt with anyone like you”  
  
“Exactly!” He said, throwing his hands up “So, I say, we enjoy ourselves this weekend. We forget about the fact you’re Louis Tomlinson and I’m Harry styles, yeah?”  
  
“What?” Louis sighed.  
  
Harry rolled his eyes, dramatically. “I’m saying, we just have a good weekend! We forget about the movie and all the stress... we just,you know, have fun! I’ll pretend you’re not Louis and you pretend I’m not Harry”  
  
“How does that work?” Louis asked, amused.  
  
“You can act like you don’t want to punch me every time I open mouth and I’ll pretend that I’m not constantly wanting your approval and we’ll just see what happens”  
  
“You want my approval?”  
  
“No, Harry does. You have really pretty eyes”  
  
“I’m going to go now” Louis drawled, ready to return to Niall and forget this ever happened.  
  
Harry reached out and grabbed Louis’ wrist “No wait! Let’s have a few shots”  
  
“Harry...”  
  
“Please, Louis? For me?” He pouted.  
  
“You’re even needier and dramatic when you’re drunk, who knew that was possible?”  
  
“A tray of sambuca shots please!” He called to the bartender and Louis was fucked. With Harry like this, it was hard to say no to him.  
  
He thought about what Harry said, pretending that he wasn’t some big name in film for the night. Let himself enjoy the little time he has spare before it all gets stressful and panicked, that’s been his life the past six years. He had never had a break since breaking out into the job, he had worked relentlessly day in and day out to get to where he was. He didn’t complain about it, he never would, but it was draining.  
  
So a tray of sambuca shots wasn’t going to harm him.  
  
Except a tray turned into two trays which turned into ordering an extra large bottle of vodka for their table and Niall drunk by 11pm.  
  
Liam had been wondering back and forth between his guests and their table all night, accepting drinks from everyone he spoke to and it wasn’t until around midnight that he finally sat at the table with them. The three lads drunk as they continued to take the shots that had been placed on their table, Liam just joined in, not questioning it at all.  
  
“Fuck” Louis winced, he hated vodka shots. “That burns like a bitch”  
  
“You’re a bitch” Harry shrugged.  
  
“What? Where did that come from?”  
  
“I just thought I’d tell you”  
  
Louis frowned, turning to Niall for back up but he was slanted in his seat drunkenly slurring the lyrics to the Liam song that was playing throughout the venue. He turned to Niall who was just laughing alongside Harry.  
  
“If anyone is a bitch, I’m afraid that’s you” He fired back, reluctantly taking another shot.  
  
“I know I am” He agreed.  
  
“Harry’s been calling himself a bitch since I met him. I prefer Drama queen”  
  
“I prefer Diva”  
  
“I prefer Chicken wings” Niall piped up and the three of them stared at him blankly. He shrugged “No one told me what we were talking about”  
  
“That’s because you’re stupidly drunk” Louis laughed, leaning over to pull him up in his seat. “Do you want me to take you home?”  
  
Niall shrugged, his eyes half closed as he sang lazily along to the music. Louis sighed and gazed at the clock, his first night in LA and his lightweight Irish friend was forcing him to go home at 12.30.  
  
“I’ll take him” Liam offered.  
  
“What? No! It’s your party” Louis refused.  


“I know but I have press coming out my ass tomorrow from six in the morning, I think it’s best I go to bed myself. I’ll bring him back to my place”  
  
“Are you sure? I don’t mind taking him”  
  
“No” Liam refused, downing the last swig of his drink. “You two have a tough few months ahead of you. Get drunk, have a laugh, you’re in LA, enjoy it!”  
  
“Shots!” Harry cheered, placing another in front of Louis.  
  
He grimaced at the sight but nonetheless he trooped on, necking it back with a disgusting look on his face. He wasn’t even entirely sure why he chose vodka - he hated it.  
  
They watched as Liam managed to stand Niall up and threw his arm over his shoulder, he thought for a second before turning back and ushering his security over who quickly took over from Niall-carrying-duty. Louis snorted as Niall was practically dragged away by two very hench men.  
  
“Thanks for coming Louis. Hopefully I’ll see you soon rather than later?” Liam said, he gazed over Louis’ shoulders to Harry who was focused on his  
drink. “Give him the benefit of the doubt”

 

“For sure” Louis smiled “give me a text when you’re back in the land of the wonderful and we’ll meet up”  
  
Liam nodded, glancing over at Harry. “You staying at my house or?”  
  
Harry shrugged “I don’t know”  
  
“Just text me and let me know you’re okay”  
  
“Okay daddy”  
  
“That’s disgusting” Liam grimaced as he walked away, leaving Harry to giggle.  
  
Louis sighed, glancing around the now much quieter room, the only people left being the ones who were solely here for the free alcohol and then himself and Harry. He would never have imagined himself being drunk, downing shots and making a fool of himself with the one man who can make his blood boil. But here he was.  
  
“You know, when I first met you I thought you were the prettiest boy I’d ever seen”  
  
Louis snorted at Harry’s confession, noting how he had scooted closer and made the decision to slide away just slightly for personal space reasons - of course.  
  
“Oh? I don’t believe that, you were mean”  
  
“I didn’t mean it” Harry admitted, pouting his bottom lip “I was just trying to get your attention”  
  
“By insulting me?”  
  
“Yeah”  
  
“That’s not usually the way you do it, Harry. Normal people are usually quite polite and friendly with the people they find pretty”  
  
Harry shrugged “You really really confuse me”  
  
“Where’s this going, Styles?” Louis asked, reaching for his drink from earlier.  
  
“I just... One minute you make me really, really, really, angry, yeah? Because you always judge me all the time but then when you tell me I did a good job I think it’s the best thing in the world”  
  
“I see” Louis nodded “And why does that confuse you?”  
  
“Because I’ve never wanted to please anyone I’ve worked with before. But you’re different” Harry glanced straight at him, eyes intense. They remained there for a second before he shrugged it off “but it’s probably because your super annoying”  
  
“Now everyone’s gone are you just using this time to insult me?” Louis snorted.  
  
“No” Harry said, placing his drink down on the table. He moved his body directly towards Louis and shuffled closer again. Louis wasn’t sure what to do, if he slid further away he’d be on his ass on the floor.  
  
“Why are you staring at me?  
  
Harry shrugged, his thigh now touching Louis’ and his heart was racing at this point. He turned around to see if anyone else was noting what was going on but they were just as drunk and out of it as they were.  
  
“Do you still wanna pretend we’re not Harry and Louis?” Harry asked through a whisper, his eyes glancing between his eyes and lips.  
  
“I’m not sure” Louis drawled.  
  
“Would Louis let me do this?” He asked, his hand on his thigh, pushing higher up Louis’ tight black jeans.  
  
Louis shook his head, inhaling a sharp breath. He glanced down to see Harry’s hand. “But Harry, sober Harry, would never do that”  
  
“He’s thought about it”  
  
“You... I mean, he has?” Playing along with Harry’s game, very aware that his hand was high on his thigh.  
  
Harry hummed “A few times. Wondered what it felt like to be able to shut you up and kiss you, to make you less stern and stressed. I just want to see you relax”  
  
“I am relaxed... Louis is always relaxed”  
  
“I think you’re lying” Harry said, Louis noted how close they were to one another.  
  
Louis took a deep breath, trying to control his breathing and reaction. He had never seen his self in this situation, Harry Styles with his hand on his thighs sending electricity through his body and his heart rate in over dive and his hot breath so close he could feel it on the skin of his cheek. Louis could see it all in Harry’s eyes now, not the usual stern, angry and moody look he gave everyone - this was so different. His oddly vidid green eyes were laced onto him and he saw his innocence, his passion, his desire, it was as though he saw his entire being through a single glance.  
  
Harry moved closer, his head in Louis’ neck. His hot breath hit the skin beneath his ear as he whispered “Would you hate me if I kissed you right now?” And his soft lips touched the skin on his neck sending bolts of electricity through Louis’ spine, his body reacting to the mediocre and careless touch.  
  
Louis didn’t know what he was doing, so lost in this tiny bubble of just himself and Harry.  
  
So without his brain meeting his lips the words “Kiss me” escaped and that was it.  
  
Before Louis could withdraw from his state of Harry, Harry, Harry. His arms were around him, he felt the rush of helplessness, naivety and lust. The kiss was soft and haste at first, like this was completely foreign to both of them but they fit so well Louis wasn’t sure he wanted to let go. With a swift gradation of intensity it was on, his insistent mouth was parting his hesitant lips, sending wild tremors along his nerves, brightening sensations he didn’t even know existed. The room around was quiet, he felt as though he entered into a world of only he and Harry. It was a kiss he had never experienced before, one so intense and lustful it reminded him of his favourite stories. But then again, Louis was dramatic when he was drunk.  
  
Harry pulled back with an exhale of breath, so intense and full on, he rested his forehead against Louis’ and breathed out the question he was waiting for “Come home with me?”  
  
Louis couldn’t resist. The answer resting on the til of his tongue “Yes”  
  
Louis can’t remember how exactly they decided on returning to his hotel room, he can’t remember going up in the elevator or how he got into his room. The entire journey was a blank of nerves, excitement and confusion all in one, it was hard to think.  
  
He had entered his room, kicking his shoes off in a drunken haste by the door and let Harry follow him in. He walked the distance of the door to his bed, cautiously sitting on the end of it with not much idea on what to do next.  
  
He had come to the conclusion that he had so much pent up sexual frustration from working so much and never having the time that the reason he reacted so much to Harry’s lips was purely to do with that and NOTHING else.    
  
He wasn’t sure on the next course of action but Harry certainly was. He walked the distance to Louis and stood in front of him, pulling his neck tie off and throwing it on the floor, he gazed down at Louis with wide eyes and amazement.  
  
“I can’t believe I’m doing this” He gawked.  
  
“Doing what?”  
  
“I‘m about to have sex with Louis Tomlinson!”  
  
“Who said anything about sex? Who says we have the right things?” Louis teased. “Anyway, it can’t be that impressive, you didn’t know who I was until the awards show”   
  
“Oh well” Harry shrugged, he reached in his pack pocket and pulled out his wallet “Luckily I have a condom in my wallet”  
  
“How romantic” Louis rolled his eyes.  
  
“Don’t roll your eyes at me, it drives me mad”  
  
Louis stood to his feet, ready to fire back with another insult. But, he never stood a chance. Harry’s lips were on his once again and the familiar feeling struck his body like lightening, he melted into the touch. Harry’s arms wrapped around Louis’ torso and pulled him up, Louis did a slight jump just enough so he could wrap his body around his. Their mouths collided against one another in a hot mess of needing one another, it was relentless. Harry turned until his heels hit the edge of the bed and he fell back, pulling Louis down with him.  
  
He wasn’t sure how it happened but all of a sudden his thighs were straddling Harry’s torso and Louis was kissing him with intent as his body naturally rocked against him. The noise that escaped through Harry’s lips was enough to cure the words wars, it was beautiful, blissful and needy. A noise Louis decided he was lucky to hear.  
  
“You’re so beautiful” Harry mumbled against his lips and the familiar ache in Louis’ chest arose again. “God, you’re fucking lovely”  
  
“Stop it” Louis said, pulling back. He stared down at Harry beneath his lashes “Are you going to regret this in the morning?”  
  
Harry looked up at him, his eyebrows furrowed and he shook his head, his hand reached up to cup his cheek “I promise you, I will never regret it”  
  
And that was enough. Louis’ lips were on his once more and he did exactly what Harry said. Forgot who they were and lived in the moment.  
  
***  
  
It was the light pouring from the window that opened up onto the streets of LA that woke Louis, it poured onto his skin, heating it with every inch. His eyes slowly opened, peering out onto the view ahead of him, his head was hurting, his body was aching but the view was not something you would see in London.  
  
He stretched out, his arms above his head and his toes nearly touching the end of it. He let out a strained yawn, his eyes focusing on the ceiling and then beside him.  
  
It hit him all once, the stollen kisses, the relentless touching, the warm compliments, the secret words. He felt and remembered everything, the curly bed head confirming it was more than just a lucid dream.  
  
He watched Harry stir in his sleep, his face was stirring in the pillow that his face was firmly stuffed in. Louis lay back, his eyes focused on the ceiling to prevent looking like a creep who stared at people when they slept. He heard the croaky noise of a groan beside him and then the bed stopped moving, he didn’t dare look. He assumed Harry had just realised where he was and who he was with and most of all, how extremely naked they both were.   
  
“Good Morning” Harry spoke, his voice was huskier than usual.   
  
“Hi” Louis said, tilting his head to the side to look at him. He melted at the sight of Harry. He was so innocent and young looking first thing in the morning, soft eyes and messy hair.  
  
“Crazy night, huh?” harry said, pushing himself so that he could sit up against the headboard.  
  
Louis nodded “Could say that” he wasn’t sure what expected, rightfully, he knew it would be slightly awkward, that was a given.   
  
Harry let out a shaky laugh, he reached his arm up above his head and rested his forearm behind the back of his head to lean on.   
  
Louis gazed at the clock and groaned “I have press in a couple of hours”  
  
“For the movie?”  
  
“Yeah. Thought I’d get us some more interest”  
  
“Good idea” Harry nodded slowly.  
  
It was quiet for a few moments, completely awkward and louis’ mind was racing with ideas and questions. He thought to last night, with Harry wrapped around him in his bed as the soft spoken words escaped his lips ‘ _I’ve_ _wanted_ _to_ _do_ _this_ _for_ _so_ _long_ ’. It all seemed like a distant memory, not entirely real anymore.  
  
“Louis...” Harry drawled out, gazing over at him and Louis nodded. “You should know... What happened, it cannot get out. No one can know I’ve slept with you”  
  
Louis glanced back over at Harry, he was staring at Louis, an expression on his face that louis didn’t recognise. Louis frowned “oh, right, okay?”   
  
“I can’t deal with the drama that comes with it and it’s more hassle than it’s worth”  
  
“What do you expect me to do? Run out into the hotel lobby telling the world I slept with Harry Styles?” Louis joked, he wasn’t sure how serious this conversation really was. 

  
“No, I’m not saying that at all. It’s just... Being who I am, the kind of guy I am...” Harry paused with a groan, battling himself to find the right words “No, look, I just can’t let it get out to anyone, it’s bad news”  
  
“What do you mean _bad_ _news_? What because you slept with your movie Director or because you got drunk and made a shitty mistake?”  
  
Harry’s eyes were no longer soft and careful, they soon returned back to how Louis remembered. Ice cold. “No, it’s not fucking that. Look, your movie, it’s not too far from reality, yeah? I’m an actor, a fucking famous one and I can’t let anything ruin that. This is my livelihood”  
  
“What, so people finding out your sexually attracted to males is going to ruin you?” Louis nearly laughed in his face. “This is 2018, what do you expect? A bunch of people turning up at your house with pitch forks and fire? This generation is a lot more accepting, more so than less”  
  
“I’m a sex icon” Louis cringed at those words that left harry’s lips. “I’m the poster in every girls room. I have people on Twitter with my face as their icon as they tweet about how inlove they are with me... Why would I want to ruin the illusion?”  
  
“The illusion that you’d fuck your fans?”  
  
“No, Louis” Harry sighed “You’ll never get it. You’re not the face, your not the person people look up to and idolise. You’re the guy behind the camera throwing orders”  
  
Louis’ heart sank. “Oh I see. So my work is less credible than yours? People wouldn’t dare look up to me or idolise me because I’m not playing a fictional character?”  
  
“I didn’t mean it like that”  
  
“Sure sounded like it. You know what Harry, last night I actually thought that I had been wrong about you the entire time. That you were misunderstood and there was a heart in there somewhere... But then you wake up sober and reality hits, doesn’t it?”  
  
“Louis, come on” Harry pleaded but Louis was already out of bed, collecting his discarded clothing. “I didn’t mean it like that”

  
“Don’t Harry” Louis warned. “I’m nothing but a guy behind a camera”  
  
Louis slipped his boxers on and head into the bathroom with his clothes bunched in his arms, he locked the door and fell down against the bath. He held onto the clothes, clutching them in his arms as he let it all sink in.  
  
He was nothing but a toy for Harry Styles, an object for his use when he needed it and discarded the next morning. He would never be in the same league as someone with his talent and name. He felt as though he was right in what he said, he was a nobody. He was known by celebrities but to the rest of the world? Minimal. He was just a guy behind a camera shouting orders.  
  
But most of all, he was now on the countless list of Harry’s mistakes.  
  
And Harry Styles was number one on his list. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter song recommendations I listened to whilst writing! 
> 
> MK, Jonas Blue & Becky Hill - Back & Forth.   
> George Ezra - budapest.   
> SIGMA (feat. Take That) - cry.

“I just can’t get over it” Niall said for the fifth time.  
  
They had arrived back in London over an hour ago and were currently in his car on their way to the studio. Harry had left the morning of their argument, ready to get back for filming and Louis was grateful, he had one full day without him around. And now, he had a long five months ahead of him.  
  
“I know, you said”  
  
“How? Like how the fuck did it happen? And why didn’t you tell me?”  
  
Louis sighed and shrugged “I don’t know. I blame you, if you hadn’t have got so bloody drunk so quick you could have prevented it”  
  
“How was I meant to prevent it? Cover your ass so his dick can’t find it?”  
  
“Niall!” Louis scolded, covering his face.  
  
“What? I don’t know what else you expect me to do! You’re an adult, you make your own fucking stupid mistakes”  
  
“Great pep talk, glad I brought you along”  
  
“Did you want to do it? Or was it the alcohol?”  
  
“It doesn’t matter now does it. It’s not going to happen again. That ship was sailed and sank in LA, when he was sober and opened that fucking mouth again”  
  
“You know, he probably didn’t mean it the way you took it. I mean, he has a point about the whole fan base shit”  
  
Louis rolled his eyes “If he feels that way then he should find another movie because it’s based entirely around that life and the secrets that come with it. How can he act in a movie like that when he’s living a lie himself?”  
  
“There is always more to a story than what meets the eye Louis, you of all people should know that. That’s what you’re job is”  
  
“Not when it comes to Harry Styles” Louis said, paying the driver as they came to a stop outside the studio. “He’s as open as a book. What you see is what you get. And what you get is a dickhead”  
  
“You don’t mean that, you know” Niall said, following him out of the car.  
  
“Can you read minds now? Wow, you’re an endless pool of talent Niall”  
  
“You’re being dramatic because you’re upset. That’s what you always do, you realise something didn’t work out the way you hoped and suddenly you act like the world is against you”  
  
Louis frowned “Why am I even friends with you? You’re supposed to support me”  
  
“I am. By telling you that you’re dramatic. You had sex with him, he annoyed you in the morning and that’s that. Why make a big deal about it? It’s not like you actually like him”  
  
Louis heart sank. He wasn’t sure if that was entirely true. He was certain he didn’t like the Harry styles he first spoke to and definitely not the guy who turned up the first day of filming but the one he met in LA, he kind of stole his heart that night. And that’s what hurt. He liked the illusion of a certain persona that harry portrayed, sadly enough that was the drunk version.   
  
“I don’t want to be here” Louis said, barging through the double doors. The cast and crew all scattered to do what they were actually supposed to be doing.  
  
“Dramatic” Niall sang, almost like a ‘ _I_ _told_ _you_ _so_ ’.  
  
Niall followed him through the halls until they reached the stage area, Louis knew there was filming going on so decided against making a massive entrance and slowly snuck in.  
  
As he walked in, he heard Harry’s voice and he was fucked. He walked forwards, waving at the people that noticed him. He walked towards the chairs and sat himself in his own, just behind a camera. Niall stood beside him, arms crossed and watching.  
  
“You’re supposed to tell me you love me and that none of this matters” Harry’s character said, holding onto Timothée’s hands.  
  
“But I can’t do that because it does matter. I love you endlessly and I will forever but I have to put myself first and to do that, I need to move on from this and from you”  
  
Harry shook his head “That’s management speaking, baby. You know that. Why would we need to break up? What would that solve? I wouldn’t be happy, you wouldn’t he happy. The band would stay the exact same, there will be nothing changed. But if we stay as we are, as we always have been, we can be happy. We don’t need to hide who we are to prove something, we can be free”  
  
“Thanks Harry” His co-director said, signalling end of shoot.  
  
He watched as Harry’s character disappeared and he walked away from Timothée who lay back on the fake grass on their set. It was bizarre hearing that from Harry’s lips considering their recent conversation.   
  
“I’m back in town” Louis sang, gaining the attention of the cast. “I hope you’ve all been working hard because we’re about to work a whole lot harder. Break for thirty minutes and I need the main cast back here, the rest of you go to wardrobe and rehearsals”  
  
They all nodded, greeting him as they walked past and welcoming him back. Niall snuck off to the buffet as always and he had a quick word with production to find out what had been covered. He glanced over to Harry, who had been openly staring at Louis the entire time. It was creepy. Louis was uncomfortable.  
  
“Harry’s been a nightmare” The head of wardrobe told him. “Refusing to wear anything we give him, insulting the designers, it’s been awful”  
  
“He told me to go fuck myself and told me he would have my career finished in seconds” The head of production explained “He then proceeded to tell me my skills were unhelpful and pathetic”  
  
He sighed, glancing to his co-director “He told me he’s surprised my husband isn’t cheating on me because I’m the most boring and dull individual he’s ever met”  
  
“Fucking hell” He groaned, his hands rubbing his face. “Seriously?” 

“Are you going to do something?” 

Louis sighed, he would much rather avoid any unnecessary conversations with styles today but unfortunately, that just wasn’t on the cards. 

He lifted his his head up and glanced up to where Harry was stood “Styles!” He shouted. 

  
Harry glanced up and Louis waved him over. The three of them who had just complained, took front row seats as they stood behind Louis, it’s like they wanted to watch the show. Shame they didn’t have popcorn.

  
“What?” Harry said, his voice practically screaming ‘bored’ as he spoke. Louis hated him.  
  
“Do you intend on ruining your career?” Louis asked, sitting up his seat.   
  
“What?”  
  
“I don’t think you do. So can I advise you to treat these people with a bit of respect? These people behind me work their arses off, they do ten times more work in one movie than you’ll do in your entire lifetime. These are the people that make you look good and also the people that can ruin your career with one tell all interview about the infamous, devil that is Harry Styles” Louis spat. “So, either you start talking to people like fucking human beings or I call it a day and make the call the scrap this movie completely because our lead star seems to have an attitude problem”  
  
“Boom!” Niall shouted from somewhere, hiding behind the buffet “You tell him, Tommo”  
  
“Go and take your break. Be back here in thirty minutes or you’re done. Scrapped from the movie, they do a tell-all interview and I’ll even add a few bits to spice it up” Louis threatened “Now, piss off out of my sight”  
  
Harry was speechless, Louis could see the blood boiling within him. But Harry knew he was outwitted on this occasion, he bit his tongue and walked away. And Louis couldn’t believe he had said half of the things that came out of his mouth right there and then. He was so built up with resentment from his and Harry’s actions that it was turning him into an angry soul, just like Harry.  
  
He didn’t know how he felt about that.  
  
The remainder of the day was a drag. He didn’t have it in him to produce anything today, his jet lag was at an all time high and his body was drained, the long flight had drained him of all effort and motivation.  
  
Harry had done what he was supposed to, agreeing to do as he was told through gritted teeth and Louis took it as it came. He couldn’t feel the passiom with Harry’s acting today, Harry’s words weren’t as heartfelt or meaningful as they had been. He needed this to be real but it wasn’t happening. The mood on set was low, it seemed as though Louis’ bad mood had rubbed off on everyone including Timothée who had been noohing but cheerful since arriving on the set on the first day.  
  
The clock turned six, Niall was snoring in the chair behind him and the filler scene came to an end. The cast and crew glanced at him for instructions on what to do next and Louis looked around them all. They had a long day tomorrow, changing set locations and shooting several outdoor scenes. So he made the decision.  
  
“Okay” Louis said, clapping his hands together “Lets call that a wrap for today. We have a long day tomorrow with some of the most vital scenes of the movie”  
  
“Can I suggest we all go for a drink?” Niall chirped up, Louis frowned, he wasn’t even a part of the movie. “Get everyone’s spirits up”  
  
He watched as the cast and crew all nodded, stopping what they were doing and turning off the cameras and packing away.  
  
“Shall we say the Bridge arms? Next door”  
  
Everyone agreed and Louis didn’t have it in him to decline, he was just as involved as everyone else plus he had no effort at all to argue against it, it would be pointless saying no to a pint with Niall. It would be an argument that he didn’t want nor need. 

  
Louis nodded, patting Niall on the pack “I’m just going to head to my office and pick up my bag. I’ll meet you out front?”  
  
He waved as he walked out of the double doors, at least he knew a few pints would ensure he slept that night. Jetlag was a killer and something he had never got used to, even though his career was eighty percent travelling around the world.   
  
He was beginning to doubt everything. His mind was playing at double time thanks to his overtired nature and exhaustion - He was beginning to doubt the ability of the movies  success as well as his ability to carry it out. He knew when he got the position he would have to work harder than ever before, to prove to everyone that he was capable of more than just your heteronormative romance movies. He was capable of creating something relatable and raw. He needed to refresh, blank out what happened between him and Harry and find his professionalism all over again.  
  
He entered his office, finding his bag sat on his desk. He grabbed his phone from the draw and was ready to head back out again. Just as he turned to leave, his route was obstructed. He glanced up and his arm dropped, his bag in his hand, heavy and tired.  
  
“Can I talk to you?” Harry asked, closing the door behind him.  
  
He looked tired, much like Louis. His hair was in a messier bun than usual, his curls falling at his face and his neck. The bags under his eyes were full and so obvious. He was drowning in a large black hoodie much like what Louis owned, it fell down over his thighs and Louis wondered how he had even found one big enough to do that.  
  
“Not now, I’m going to the pub. It can wait until tomorrow” Louis was burned out. Far too tired for this conversation.   
  
“No, it can’t” Harry shook his head, he nodded to Louis chair behind his desk “Sit down”  
  
“Harry...”  
  
“Sit down, Louis”  
  
Louis wanted to fight, he wanted to push him out of the way and walk away. Instead, he gave in, he dropped his bag to his feet and sat himself down in his chair, he eyed Harry as he walked to sit himself down opposite him.  
  
“This better be good” Louis sighed, rubbing his temple. A yawn escaped him and he wondered if he could get away with sleeping in that very chair.   
  
“Look. I get you’re annoyed at me, you’re over dramatic like that. But the way you spoke to me today was fucking horrible, Louis”  
  
Louis’ eyes reopened and he frowned at harry “You’re going to lecture me on the way I speak to someone? Are you having a laugh?”  
  
“You belittled me in front of everyone!” Harry fumed. “I’m not getting into that... Look, I didn’t mean to offend you the other morning”  
  
“Ha, that’s rich” Louis snorted.   
  
“Louis, stop” Harry warned. “What I said, I didn’t word it properly because it’s hard to explain”  
  
“Oh, please do explain it” Louis urged.  
  
Harry sighed and sat back, his hands on his thighs. “I meant it, this movie is close to home. The only people who know about my sexuality are my management team, a very small amount of friends and my family. And now, you. Everyone I have been involved with has had to sign an NDA other than you”  
  
“Oh, how kind of you”  
  
“Listen - My family told me from a young age that to make it big in the industry I need to be the exact person the world wants me to be. That includes being the person I am, I’m Harry Styles, a young bachelor who’s known for being involved with multiple models and plays the stroppy actor card”  
  
Louis barked a laugh, shaking his head “You’re not trying to tell me that your shitty attitude is an act, right?“  
  
“No... I am a stroppy actor. I’m constantly pissed off and angry. That’s just me. But can you fucking blame me, Louis? This is my life”  
  
“Don’t play the victim card, Harry”  
  
“I’m not” Harry was exhausted, he was done with trying to explain himself especially to Louis who was being stubborn as ever. “Just listen to me, I’m not acting now. This is the truth. I’m exactly like the character I’m playing, I’m a closeted LGBT actor”  
  
“How am I supposed to believe you, Harry? And why on earth would you tell me? I’m nothing to you, I am of no importance to your life whatsoever”  
  
“Because, I told you before. I’m just trying to impress you, yeah? I’m here to do my job, make an impression and help you make it a success”  
  
“So, what’s with all the attitude and shitty comments to me? If you want to impress me you wouldn’t be giving me a headache all day long” Louis challenged.  
  
“I told you, I’m a pissed off actor. I can’t change that part of me, Louis. That’s me”  
  
Louis mused, his eyes scanning Harry. He didn’t know him well enough to distinguish between when he was acting or not yet, he didn’t want to believe him. He didn’t want him to have any excuse for his poor behaviour, he wanted to carry on disliking him with no need to pity him. But if this was true... Well, that was a game changer.  
  
“Why would your parents encourage you to hide your sexuality? I don’t understand that. Don’t they accept it?” Louis shook his head, confused by it all.  
  
Harry nodded “They’ve always accepted me. All of my boyfriends have spent loads of time with my mum and dad” he explained “They have been the idillic supportive family”   
  
“So why hide it?”  
  
“I’m from a family of stars. Every single one of us has a name, we know the PR business like the back of our hands and my Dad knew that if I was to be an openly gay actor it would cause a lot of controversy. It could have easily jeopardised my career. People aren’t as accepting as you believe, there are a lot of very ignorant and homophobic people in the movie world, Louis”  
  
“I just don’t understand” Louis shook his head. He meant it, he wasn’t sure what part baffled him more. Whether it was that Harry was telling him all of this or what he was going through. “But that doesn’t explain why you turned it on me that morning. You had no need to belittle my career and ability, that was harsh”  
  
“I was trying to get you to understand” Harry shuffled forward in his seat and he lent his arms against the desk. “I couldn’t tell you what was going on, that was too much info for a morning after sex”  
  
“Don’t remind me”  
  
“Oh, come on. You’re telling me you regret it?”  
  
Louis shook his head “Not now Harry”  
  
“Okay” He nodded, grabbing Louis’ phone from the table. “Look, I want this movie to work as much as you do, yeah? I want it to mean something to the people who have to deal with the same shit as I do, day in and out. You don’t have to forgive me for how I’ve treated you nor do you have to like me but we need to be able to tolerate each other and not start a war in front of all the other actors”  
  
“I agree but why do you have my phone?”  
  
Harry didn’t reply, he was typing something into it and Louis hit himself mentally for not securing a password onto it “I’ve added my number” Harry explained. 

  
“I don’t recall asking for it?”  
  
“You’re so difficult” Harry rolled his eyes and placed it back onto the table. “I’m not coming for drinks tonight, I have to do some PR with my fake girlfriend. But, if you want, away from the studio and from everyone else, you can text me and we can arrange to meet up”  
  
“Why would we do that?” Louis wasn’t following this at all, he wasn’t sure where all of this was going “This conversation has changed direction massively”  
  
“You want this movie to work. Well, come and talk to someone who has dealt with it first hand” Harry shrugged “I can’t do it here. There’s too many people around”  
  
“Oh” Louis finally realised. He glanced at his phone and then back at Harry as he clocked what he had said “Your fake girlfriend?”  
  
“I told you. This is my life. I have a date with Kendall in some bar where a bunch of paps are going to be attacking us with flashing cameras all evening”  
  
“That doesn’t sound very fun...” Louis said, not sure how to deal with such a new and sensitive subject. “How long has she been your fake girlfriend?”  
  
“Six months. She’s a friend, I chose her. She’s happy to do it, it’s a mutual agreement” he said, standing up from his seat. “Look, I would love to sit and convince you I’m not a complete bastard for longer but I have to go, if I’m late, the management team will have my head”  
  
Louis was struck by it all, such a short amount of time with such a huge amount of information that he really wasn’t sure how to process. He simply nodded, grabbing his phone off the desk.  
  
“Tomorrow’s a new day” Harry stated “Good night Louis”  
  
“Good night”  
  
He watched Harry as he left, as soon as he had, he fell back into his chair with a sigh and stared at the empty seat.  
  
When he had been told Harry was going to be a part of this movie, he knew that he was into a difficult time but all of this was beyond his expectations. Never did he expect to be in on one of the biggest secrets of their generation. He held the information to ruin his career and that was scary, considering his temper.  
  
He thought for a second about how he could easily use this to his advantage but soon shook it away, he wasn’t that evil. However, it was definitely something Harry would do.  
  
He decided against over thinking it right now. He shoved his phone in his pocket, grabbed his bag of the floor and was gone. He needed that pint more than ever.  
  
He reached Niall who was stood outside waiting alongside a few of the camera guys.  
  
“Was beginning to think you got lost” Niall noticed him, placing his phone is pocket “you ready to go?”  
  
“More than ever”  
  
“Pints for everyone!” Niall cheered.  
  
***  
  
Louis was half way through the first scene of the day, it was set around the management team. He had pulled in a few barely known actors, all looking for their big break to play the part. If they did this well enough then they could be well on their way to the start of their careers. As the scene was acted out, he was finding himself drifting off to think about what sort of conversations Harry must have had when this was all decided.  
  
“Make sure to express that you’re reluctant about it, yeah? We want you to be unsure and drawn back to begin with” Louis shouted to Timothée who was sat in his seat around the prop table “Really play it out, once they say the line then we need your face to light up, I need to be able to read from you that you’re taking it seriously”  
  
“You got it, Tommo” Timothée stuck his thumb up at him and readjusted himself.  
  
“Okay... on my count” Louis said, pointing to the camera men to get ready, then the sound guy and then he nodded “3,2,1, go”  
  
He watched the scene ahead of him, an older looking actor sat at the head of the table. He held a pen in his mouth, swinging himself side to side in his seat as he gazed at Timothée.  
  
Timothée squirmed in his seat and his hands tapped on the table nervously “Can someone tell me why I’m here?”  
  
“Do you know how well the band is doing right now in the charts?”  
  
“Pretty well” He shrugged.  
  
“Exactly. But that doesn’t last forever” The actor spoke, leaning his arms on the table with his fingers interlocked. “Which means we need to be on top of this at all times”  
  
“On top of what?”  
  
“Your publication. We want you to be one of the biggest bands the world has ever seen. We don’t want you to last a year and then drain away like most boybands these days”  
  
“It’s embarrassing” An actress chimes in, writing on her notepad.  
  
“Exactly. And I assume you want what’s best for the band?”  
  
Timothée frowned “Of course I do”  
  
“And you wouldn’t want anything or anyone to sabotage your career, would you?”  
  
“Where is this going?” He drawled out.  
  
“You see, we have an image to uphold. You are all currently at the top of your game, girls have you scattered across their bedroom walls and every one and their aunts are talking about you all” He said, leaning forward “And the issue is, your relationship with your fellow band member is becoming a slight problem”  
  
“How? No one knows we’re together”  
  
Louis listened carefully to his words, trying to imagine those exact words escape from Harry’s mouth when having this discussion. As he did, the doors to the set opened quietly and Harry slid himself through without a sound. Louis suddenly couldn’t concentrate on the scene, his attention was solely on Harry.  
  
He had a Starbucks in hand, his sunglasses still over his eyes and a ridiculous fur coat over him. He hoped it was faux fur. That shouldn’t really be his main concern. Harry clocked him staring and waved, walking his way over towards him and Louis gulped.  
  
Despite himself, he lay awake for most of the night thinking about what Harry had said, it was so straight to the point and nonchalant that he didn’t really get any information on it rather than the facts. And that’s what had him lying awake. As well as the thought of a young Harry being told he had to hide himself alway.  
  
“Morning” Harry whispered, sitting himself in the empty directors chair beside him.  
  
“Good morning”  
  
“What scenes this?” He asked, sipping through his straw.  
  
“When they try and convince him to get a beard” Louis said quietly, pretending to focus on the scene. He was being unprofessional.  
  
“Rough scene”  
  
Louis hummed, flicking his eyes towards Harry. He wanted him to remove the glasses, he wanted to see his emotions as he watched it. He wanted to see how it affected him and made him feel but it was clear that he was too good at hiding that all away - the perks of being an actor.  
  
“You’ve got the suicide scene next week... how are you feeling about it?” Louis asked.  
  
Harry sighed and shrugged “I don’t know. It’s a tough one, ain’t it? I’ve never played that part before”  
  
“Have you done much research?”  
  
Harry finally removed his sunglasses, he turned his head to face Louis and frowned “You expect me to research suicide? That’s fucking deep Louis, even for you”  
  
“It’s a good idea. That’s life, Harry. When people are faced with situations like this, they feel as though their only way to opt out is to take their life. It might be handy speaking to survivors?”  
  
“Where would I even find them?”  
  
“I know a few” Louis spoke slowly. He paused, he had no brain to mouth filter today. He didn’t stop himself “Maybe we can go together?”  
  
“Why would you want to come?”  
  
“I’d like to understand, the way they feel. Plus, your offer is on the cards and I’ve decided I want to know more”  
  
“Oh?” Harry’s eyes widened, almost shocked by the statement. “I guess, yeah, we could do that if you think it’s worth it?”  
  
“What’s best for the movie, right?”  
  
“Yeah, always”  
  
“Then there we go” Louis nodded, turning his attention to the set again as Timothée had began pacing back and forth the set up office space.  
  
“I had this conversation too” Harry pondered. “It’s hard to really show how it feels. I was proper confused by it all”  
  
“Maybe you should talk to Timothée?”  
  
Harry snorted “And say what? Hey mate, I’m closeted, let me tell you exactly what happened in my meeting”  
  
“No” Louis rolled his eyes “Just give him a few pointers as a fellow actor rather than telling him your darkest secrets”  
  
“I’ll think about it” Harry sipped his drink again.  
  
“I’ll think about it” Louis mimicked. It was too easy to wind Harry up.    
  
“You’re a child”  
  
Louis snorted and noticed that the scene came to an end and he stood to his feet “That was fantastic Tim, we’ll take a break and you can run through it again”.  
  
He grabbed his bag from the back of his chair and was ready to get back to his office for his conference call. He was just about to leave, when Harry grabbed his wrist and pulled Louis round to face him.  
  
“Where are you going?” Harry asked.   
  
Louis frowned “To my office?” he pulled his hand from Harry’s grip. “Why?”  
  
“Oh, okay” He nodded “Just wondering. Will you be back for my scenes?” 

“Probably, Harry, that’s kinda my job” Louis laughed, pulling his bag over his shoulder. 

“Yeah, it is” Harry nodded, he sat back in the seat like the conversation hadn’t just happened at all. 

Louis tilted his head at the younger boy and smiled “You’re so strange”  
  
“Ditto, kiddo”

 

***  
  
Louis was sat at home, Niall sat across his sofa with his feet on Louis’ lap and was binge watching Black Mirror. The issue with working constantly meant he was always like a year behind all the decent series that everyone raved about. Which meant when he tweeted about how fantastic it was, he was too late for the craze.  
  
“Would you ever do TV?” Niall asked.  
  
Louis shrugged “Maybe”  
  
He was on the episode he had been most excited for, of course it was based around fate and true love. He was invested in he way the characters played their role so effortlessly. That was the only issue with his job, he found himself critiquing every single part of anything they ever watched. Niall had already warned him that if Louis said one more thing he would smother him, so he was holding in the thoughts in his head.  
  
He heard his phone vibrate on the table and he had no effort to get up and check it, also because he had Niall’s dead weight across his body. He reached his arm out effortlessly, pathetically attempting to grab it until Niall eventually groaned and got himself up to get it for him.  
  
“Why is Harry Styles texting you?” Niall smirked, waving the phone. “Oh, please don’t tell me you’re still shagging him!”  
  
“I’m not! Give me it” Louis said, pouncing to attempt to grab the phone back. Niall pushed Louis back with one hand and held the phone in the air in the other. “Niall!”  
  
“Not until you tell me why he’s texting you and how he has your number!”  
  
“I don’t know why he’s text me, I need the phone to figure that out and he put in in my phone” Louis defended.  
  
“I told you he’s bad news” Niall warned “You better not be shagging him Lou, I swear!”  
  
“I’m fucking not” He pouted, finally managing to steal his phone back.  
  
He shoved Niall and shuffled himself on the sofa to sit in his spot, his back to the arm of the sofa. He saw Harry’s name on his screen and swiped to open it.  


_Hey Louis. Sorry for texting you so late. I’ve done a bit of research, are you free after filming tomorrow? There’s a group that meets and they’ve said we’re welcome to come. Let me know. H._ _  
_  
Louis was impressed, he had only told Harry about his idea a mere few hours ago and in that time he had already managed to research and find a lead. Louis had already forgotten about it.  
  
“What does he want?” Niall asked, his eyes attempting to look at the screen.  
  
Louis rolled his eyes “It’s work stuff. We’re doing some research for his character ahead of his scene next week”  
  
“Oh and he has to text you about it? It can’t wait until tomorrow?”  
  
“Niall, stop” Louis warned.  
  
His thumbs hovered over his keyboard, he had never text Harry before and for some reason that was somewhat nervy to him.  
  
_Hi mate .That was quick ! It’s your day off tomorrow , are you sure you wanna do it ? I’m free after 7 I’ve got some things to deal with before I finish ._ _  
_  
He pressed send, was about to place his phone down again but his phone vibrated once again in his hand.  
  
_It’s fine, it’s important. Isn’t it? The meetings at 7.30. It lasts for an hour. We could always get something to eat after? We can talk over what we spoke about the other day. H. P.s for someone of your abilities, your grammar and punctuation is embarrassing._ _  
_  
Louis rolled his eyes. Even through text Harry could find a way to insult him.  
  
_That’s fine . I can do that , shall I ask my driver to pick you up ? That’s a late dinner styles , u sure u can eat that late , no curfew ? :) Bed time and all ! P.s at least I don’t sign my texts of with my initial like I don’t know who the fuck u are !_ _  
_  
_At least I can spell, Tomlinson. I’ll pick you at 7 outside of the studio. I can eat at 8.30 in the evening, you bellend. Stop being annoying. H._ _  
_  
_You’re the one being annoying . Make it 7:05 ! I’m going to busy at 7 :)_ _  
_  
_You’re infuriating. H._ _  
_  
_Why are u still textin me ?_ _  
_  
_Good question. H._ _  
_  
_Seriously , there’s no need . I’ll see u tomoz !_ _  
_  
_Did you seriously just type tomoz? My god, Louis you’re the worst kind of human. H._ _  
_  
_Shut up or I’ll ring The Sun and tell them we shagged in LA._ _  
_  
_Good night Louis. H. X_ _  
_  
Louis sniggered to himself before he threw his phone onto the empty spot on the sofa.  
  
Looks like had an evening with Harry Styles ahead of him. He didn’t know if he was looking forward to it or dreading it. He would soon find out which one was more appropriate. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter song recommendations I listened to whilst writing! 
> 
> I had to use the right songs to get me in the mood to write this way, feel free to listen to them throughout reading. 
> 
> Alan walker - Faded.   
> Lewis capaldi - Grace.   
> Bruno Major - Home (one of the most amazing artists)   
> Amber Run - I found.

It was bizarre not having Harry on set all day. It was ridiculously quieter, that was for sure, there were no insults being thrown around and Louis had every reason to be chilled out. Despite the fact he was shooting a movie that had to be finished in the next five months.  
  
But, he couldn’t help but spend his day bored. All scenes today were filler scenes, scenarios that led up to certain issues in the movie. Most of the main cast were given the day off which meant a day of extras and working on the set.  
  
He _almost_ missed Harry’s sarcastic comments, the arguments and easy insults. Whenever he was bored he could always count on Styles walking in to cause a drama. It was concerning how much he thought ‘ _if_ _Harry_ _was_ _here_...’ that day. But that was due to the drama, nothing else, of course.  
  
The day dragged, he was watching the clock. Slow days on set were always tedious. He was having pointless conversations, telling people how to do their job multiple times and explaining to an extra that all he had to do was just stand there. Which was more difficult than you would assume.  
  
By the time six came along, he was lucky to escape the cast and crew and had to hide himself away in his office. He had to speak to the author again, who really should have been here on set with them but was too busy in LA spending his fortune from the series.  
  
He sat behind his laptop screen and headphones in as the Skype call appeared. He fixed his hair in the screen and sat back, he pressed the accept button and waited.  
  
“Louis, hello!” The man greeted him, a bright smile across his face.  
  
“Nice to see you again, John. How are you?”  
  
“Fantastic. It’s sunny here as always, makes a change to back home, doesn’t it?”  
  
“Sure does” Louis agreed. He hated small talk. “So, what can I do for you today?”  
  
“Ah, I’m glad you asked. Look, I’ve got a new idea for the movie, here me out... We were going to have a happy ending but I don’t think that’s the way we should be heading”  
  
“Oh?” Louis said through gritted teeth. He had already changed the script several times thanks to this mans inability to stick to one thing at a time. “What do you suggest?”  
  
“The way I see it is things like this don’t end in a happy way, this is meant to portray real life, you know? If we give them the happy ending then its giving an idea that people will still be okay at the end of all that suffering and that it won’t affect them forever. And that’s not how it works. This is meant to be emotionally and mentally draining, they’re meant to be in pain. I don’t want them to get back together”  
  
“I mean, I understand that” Louis said and paused, the problem with FaceTime is that he couldn’t hide his reaction so he consoled it “How do you suggest we reach that then? A lot of the movie leads into the concept of true love and dedication? It defiles the entire point of the movie”  
  
“Not if we change it. Look, I want them to be in love and I want them to fight but I want the audience to see that no matter the battle and fight, things don’t end how people want. I want Timothée’s character to stick to it, I want him so invested in the success that comes to him that he doesn’t want to ruin it, I want him to turn into a PR robot. That’s how show biz works, isn’t it? People become puppets”  
  
“I suppose” He thought about Harry again.  
  
“He’s going to become the golden boy for the label, he’s going to go solo like in the script and he’s going to leave Harry. I want Harry to be devastated, completely heartbroken by it. But I want to see him walking away from the fame and the success, becoming a nobody. Because he chose love over his career”  
  
Louis mused, running his fingers through his hair “I would need to discuss this with the writers, of course”  
  
“It’s not up for discussion. This is how I picture my book and I want it to be shown”  
  
“Very well”  
  
The Skype call continued on for another forty minutes as he was preached to about getting this perfect, adding more and more pressure upon Louis’ shoulders to not fuck this up.  
  
When the call ended he was utterly exhausted. He had taken on a big project he knew that but adding difficult authors, tantrum pulling actors and a whole bunch of bullshit, he wasn’t sure what he had got himself into.  
  
He left his office at seven on the dot, throwing his denim jacket over his shoulders. He could feel the cold brisk english weather hit him before he had even opened the doors, he pulled his sleeves over his hands to warm them as he pushed the doors open.  
  
He expected to be waiting a while for Harry to actually arrive, no one was ever on time. Well, except for Harry of course. He was parked by the main gates, his music heard from where Louis was stood. There was no turning back from this now, he was stuck in his company for the evening after one of the shittest days on set to date.  
  
He sighed, pushing his bag up his shoulder and began his descent through the brisk wind that froze his nose with each step. He began running half way through the car park.  
  
He pulled open the passenger side door to Harry’s Range Rover and jumped inside, quite literally, to hide from the cold. He slammed the door shut and crossed his arms over his chest to warm himself up. He heard Harry’s short chuckle from beside him and glanced at him, Harry turned the music down and smiled.  
  
He was quite mesmerised. He was used to seeing _set_ _Harry_. Turning up in old clothes and comfy sweats and his hair shoved up. Tonight he was dressed to impress. Well, he certainly looked rich.  
  
His hair was falling across his shoulders, pushed back off his forehead as it effortlessly fell. Within the mess of curls was a scarf like he would wear when in character, it was silk and smooth, peeking through just enough that you could cop a glance at it if you looked closely enough. He was dressed in a pair of tartan grey trousers, they were definitely high waisted which just intrigued Louis. His shirt was bright yellow and lace, enough to be on par with the sun when it came to blinding people. Hidden behind a beige coat with white cotton lining.  
  
He looked stunning. Once again, an outfit that would look ridiculous on anyone else but Harry Styles. It wasn’t fair.   
  
“I mean, you could have told me you were making an effort” Louis grumbled, gazing down at his casual T-shirt and jeans.  
  
“What?” Harry snorted.  
  
“You’re dressed all rich and impressive and I look like I’ve just left a skate park”  
  
“You look great. Shut up” Harry rolled his eyes, placing his phone onto the compartment below Louis’ knees. “I’ve not made an effort. This was the only clean outfit I could find. I’ve not had a clothes wash done in two weeks, my maids on holiday”  
  
“ _My_   _maid_ ” Louis mimicked, ignoring his compliment, buckling his belt “Of course you have a maid”  
  
“Are you going to make this difficult or are you going to talk to me like I’m a normal human being tonight?”  
  
“Define normal”  
  
“Child” Harry pointed out. He buckled himself back in and turned his Sat-Nav on to put the post code in. “I’m nervous”  
  
“You are?”  
  
Harry nodded “Don’t sound so shocked. I do have the ability to feel things, you know”  
  
“That’s news to me” Louis fired back. He settled back into the seat once the heat began to pile in. “I guess I am too. I’m intrigued. I want to hear about it, it’s something that’s so taboo to society. It should be spoken about more”  
  
“Yeah” Harry agreed, pulling out onto the main road. “How was it today?”  
  
Louis wasn’t used to this small talk thing that Harry was trying right now. He was used to a conversation only filled with sarcasm and wit, not including their previous conversation of Harry’s secret. Which he was extremely excited to find out more about.  
  
“It was...” He was going to tell him it was fine, he really was but he didn’t have it in him “It was shit. Such a long fucking day, man. It was like I was working with a bunch of clueless idiots who had no idea what they were doing”  
  
“That bad, huh?”  
  
“An extra told me that they didn’t think their character should just stand there in the scene, he felt like he should be doing more. His fucking name in the movie is Person 4. What more can Person 4 possibly bring to the table?” Louis continued as Harry laughed. “Then I had a conversation with the author and boy, that was just a fucking delight. I’ve never met someone so indecisive in my life”  
  
“More changes?” Harry pondered.  
  
“Yep. Turns out you’re no longer getting a happy ending. You’ll be a depressed nobody that the world forgot about” Louis admitted. “Can you believe that? Why get rid of the happy ending? It ruins it”  
  
“I don’t know” Harry shrugged as they came to the traffic lights. “There’s not that many happy endings in this job, is there?”  
  
“No but it gave us a little hope, I liked that. I loved the book because of the fight it showed for love and now it’s gone”  
  
“I wouldn’t say that” Harry thought aloud “The fight for love and the battle for freedom is still such a massive part of the story. It shows you every part of the process as well as showing the heartbreak that comes with it. People aren’t nice, Louis. Sure, some will end up happy and staying together but in a situation like that it shows people's true colours”  
  
“That sounds like you know what it feels like”  
  
Harry sighed, turning a corner “That’s for later, isn’t it?”  
  
“You don’t have to tell me” Louis added “it’s not a necessity”  
  
“I know”  
  
“I’ve never been closeted but I have had to hide a relationship once” Louis admitted, shrugging his shoulders as the words left his mouth.

 

“Oh?”

 

“My ex… Nick, you know Nick Grimshaw?”

 

“I’m actually really good friends with him” Harry laughed “He’s your ex? What the fuck. I had no idea”

 

“Exactly. Because it was hidden. Didn’t want anyone finding out, now I think about it, he probably didn’t want anyone thinking he was shagging the drama kid”

 

“I doubt that” Harry snorted “You’re gorgeous, he probably didn’t want anyone stealing you from him”

 

“Highly unbelievable Harry. Next joke please”

 

“Don’t put yourself down” Harry frowned, glancing at Louis “You’re beautiful. Don’t ever think any different”

 

Louis couldn’t reply to that, the only words that would come from his mouth would all be denial and the stern look on Harry’s face told him he shouldn’t even bother.

 

Louis didn’t push it anymore. He turned Harry’s radio up and sat back. He was a little nervous as to what to expect when going here but he knew it would be beneficial for both himself and Harry for a better understanding. That was the only reason he was going.  
  
They arrived at an old community centre, in a quiet area of London. Louis had not even heard of the area before but Harry was insistent that this was the place.  
  
He followed Harry out of the car, cautiously stepping out into the open space. He walked around the car and frowned at Harry, he shrugged, leading the way towards the main doors behind a large green gate. Harry stepped in first and held the door open for Louis. It was a small room, a window in front of them which was the reception and a few chairs scattered around the place. He was surprised someone of Harry’s background was comfortable walking in here, he was used to high class everything.  
  
“Hi, we’re here for the meeting?”  
  
The woman behind the window nodded and pointed towards some large doors at the end of a long corridor “Straight ahead”  
  
“Thank you” Harry said and turned to Louis with a roll of his eyes as led the way. “Rude”  
  
Louis snorted, following Harry’s steps. He looked so powerful all the time, by the way he looked, the way he spoke, the way he dressed and the way he walked. He just couldn’t look like a normal guy. Ever.  
  
They reached the large blue doors and Harry wasted no time, he pushed them open to make an entrance and Louis cautiously followed.  
  
Once they stepped in, Louis’ body shivered. He glanced in to see rows of chairs one after the other, enough for at least 20 people but only around ten were filled. All eyes turned to them, some lighting up at the sight and Louis kept his head down as he followed.  
  
Harry sat himself on the third row, leaving an empty space beside him for Louis which he quickly took. He waved at the woman that stood in front behind a podium.  
  
“Now our final two have arrived, we can begin” She said, smiling at both of them. “I would like to thank you all for coming tonight, I know for some of you it was a big decision to make and you’re very brave to do so”  
  
Louis could see out the corner of his eye that a couple of the people sat in front were turning their heads to look at them. They were most likely confused by it all. Why would two random famous men turn up to a meeting like this?  
  
“I will make you aware now if you haven’t already noticed. We are joined by Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson this evening, they are here to help broaden their knowledge and understanding for their up and coming LGBT Movie. This is a key part of their production and they would like to be apart of it” She said, gesturing to the two of them. “If you do not feel comfortable speaking up whilst we are joined by these two wonderful men, then do not feel pressured to do so at all. Anything that is said in this room isn’t going anywhere other than between these four walls, this is purely for research and nothing else. So please feel comfortable”  
  
The heads in front of them nodded and Louis felt awful. He felt as though he had walked into something so personal, forcing his way into someone’s lives that he didn’t even know. The guilt that arose in his body just built with every second.  
  
“You okay?” Harry whispered.  
  
Louis glanced up, Harry was so close to him at this point and all he did was nod. Harry moved his hand and tapped Louis’ thigh, it must have been his way of comfort in some way or another. It worked. To some extent.  
  
“Okay. As we have a few new members joining us today, I would encourage some of you to describe some of your experiences and your story” She said, smiling at the people in front of her. “If anyone would like volunteer?”  
  
Louis stayed quiet as he watched the room stay still and silent, it was a few short minutes before one of the boys sat on the front row lifted his hand.  
  
“Lucas, thank you” she said “Please, in your own time”  
  
Harry leaned closer to Louis, most likely not intentionally, his his shoulder was now resting alongside Louis and for some reason it was the soothing he needed to deal with this all.   
  
“Hi, I’m Lucas” The boy spoke, he was young. Both in appearance and voice. He looked no older than eighteen at most. And before Louis had even heard his story, his heart broke for him. Someone so young, here to talk about their experience with suicide and their survival.   
  
“I don’t know where to start... I guess I should start by saying I identify as bisexual. I have done since I was eleven. I grew up in a house where my dad was your typical lads, lad. He was out in the pub the majority of the time, gambling his life away and in crippling debt” The boy Lucas laughed bitterly like it was a joke more than reality. “My mum, she‘s harmless. She just didn’t know how to cope with anything, my dad was a lot to handle”

“Your parents, Lucas. Did they know about your sexuality?” The lady asked.

 

“Eventually. I remember the day I came out to my mum, she was so understanding. She was the one who approached me, I was lying in bed watching family guy, completely unaware to my surroundings and next thing I knew my mum was sat on the bed beside me and straight up asked me. I was shocked, but I guess I always knew that she knew” He shrugged “Mum’s intuition, ain’t it? She told she always knew, she always loved me and always would. She had never had an issue with it at all, in fact, she made a point of telling me that she would support me no matter who I brought home. But, my dad, he would be less understanding. She made a point of saying, although she understands and loves me unconditionally, my dad, he wouldn’t be the same. I guess, in some way, she was asking me to hide it from him”

  
“And how did that make you feel?”

  
  
“Shit” He admitted, he lent back with a sigh before continuing “I mean, he had always been... harsh? I think that’s the word, I don’t know. He wasn’t very loving as it was, almost like he was mad at mum and me and I had no idea why. I remember, I came home late once, literally a minute and he just... lost it. He screamed, he shouted, he threw things, I couldn’t believe it. I was only ten”   
  
Louis found himself moving his hand to grab Harry’s, more of a comfort than anything else. He didn’t know how to cope with something that was actually so raw and real, he was used to pretending. It was always acting. Harry didn’t move, he let Louis’ hand hover over his own.

 

“He took it out on my mum” He admitted “he sent me to bed but I heard them downstairs. I could hear her crying and begging him to stop. But he didn’t. It wasn’t always like that though, some days he would be... okay? He wouldn’t shout, mainly because he was passed out on the sofa from all the alcohol” Louis noticed the way the boy lifted his hand to wipe a tear from his cheek. “I remember all of the times he would tease me. He didn’t even know I was Bi and he would use slurs like ‘faggot’ and ‘poof’ and I couldn’t understand it, you know? Why do people think a label for a gay person is an insult? What is so insulting about being gay?” 

Harry’s hand then moved, he laced his fingers through Louis’ as they listened.   
  
“One day, he found out. It wasn’t intentional, I was out one day with a boy I met at school. I liked him and he liked me, it was the perfect school romance, all touching and kissing. I was holding his hand and walked past the local park. It was bad timing because my dad happened to drive last at the same time” The boy took a deep breath, he was silent for a few moments and the room stayed quiet to allow him to find the words he was searching for.

“I don’t want to go into what happened but let’s say he had a way of dealing with his disgusting, gay son. I always knew he was a terrible person but the way he treated me that evening, his own flesh and blood. I mean, who thinks that’s okay?” He sniffled as he spoke and Louis’ heart was breaking. “We’re in a generation where people say love is love, but why is that only the case for some and not others?” 

“I don’t know, Lucas” The lady answered. 

“Anyway. I suppose I didn’t know what to do. My dad banned me from seeing the boy ever again, kinda even threatened me with those camps you read about, you know to turn you straight? It was craziness. I was just so lost. It was a mix of everything, my confused sexuality, the constant emotional and new found physical abuse from my father and now the fact I had to hide my sexuality all over again. And I couldn’t exactly find comfort in my own mum, could I? She was just as scared as I was” 

He continued “I didn’t want to feel the pain anymore. I didn’t want to burden my mum, bring anymore abuse or pain to her. And I didn’t want to feel it myself. I wanted to free myself from this life I didn’t ask for. I didn’t know what I wanted to do, but what I was certain of”  
  
“And what was that?”  
  
Louis frowned at the lady hosting, he wanted to tell her to shut up and give the boy a chance. He was laying it all on the table for a bunch of strangers to listen and judge. It must not have been easy at all.  
  
“Isn’t it obvious?” The boy breathed out, he took a deep breath and exhaled “I found a bunch of pills in my mums bathroom, I knew that if I just took the right amount, I could go. I could finally be free from this horrible world and make everyone’s life so much easier.   
  
Harry’s body tensed under Louis’ touch and Louis felt his heart drop to his stomach. His hand tightened around Harry’s.  
  
“Mum found me though. I wish she hadn’t, she somehow managed to come in at the right time. The ambulance came for me just in time and I was able to survive it, it’s not fair. Just fifteen minutes more and it would have been over for me, you know? I’ve said and replayed it in my head so many times, how I could have prevented mum finding me. I should have left the house” He shook his head. “Dad hated that I survived, I mean, how sick is that? He called me a coward. He said if I really wanted to do it I would have done it properly”

 

He breathed a laugh “it’s so strange that someone who is supposed to love you unconditionally and protect you at all costs, would say that to you.. I wanted to die all over again, right there and then and give him what he wanted. I had no chance, the only good thing to come out of it was the investigation into my personal circumstances which ultimately brought up the endless list of criminal charges dad had obtained over the years. They nicked him on the spot” 

  
“And how did that make you feel?” 

  
“I didn’t feel anything” He shrugged “How could I? I couldn’t feel anything anymore, I still can’t. I’m just drifting. I do know that I hated  seeing how upset my mum was, she feels like it’s her fault. But, it’s not is it? It’s not her fault her sons some faggot who ruins everyone’s lives” 

“That’s not true, Lucas”   
  
“Isn’t it?” He laughed, tears still streaming down his face “I don’t want to be here, I don’t want to be anywhere. This isn’t helping anything. No matter how many people try and help me, no matter the amount of sessions I attend, I’ll always be the same person” 

 

“And who is that person?” She asked and both louis and Harry inched forward in their seat. 

 

“The dirty fucking bender that my dad said I was. A waste of fucking space”   
  
Louis and Harry were speechless. Louis knew he was crying, tears falling across his cheek. He felt the numb pain that came from the boy’s mouth and it hit him so deeply. He felt guilty for his supportive family and all of the acceptance he received, especially when others had to go through so much pain and hurting.  
  
They didn’t say a word. They clapped when the others clapped and listened to the rest of the stories they heard, Louis knew it was going to be real to hear this but he just wanted to fly out of his chair and tell every single one of them how loved and how special they were. His hand stayed upon Harry’s until the meeting came to an end. The two of them thanked each and every one of the boys and girls that spoke, Louis whispering all and every source of encouragement he could think of to all of them.  
  
He left in silence alongside Harry, they walked side by side. Louis’ eyes were focused on the ground with every step. They stayed in silence as they got into Harry’s car. And they stayed like that for a few minutes.  
  
“That was intense” Harry finally spoke, his voice was husky and raw.  
  
“Yeah” He breathed out.  
  
“I can’t believe people have to go through that. I mean, you hear about it on the news and stuff but to hear from someone who has white literally coped with it... It’s so sad”  
  
Louis nodded, using the back of his hand to wipe the tears that escaped from the corner of his eyes. He glanced out at the night sky, trying to focus on the stars to avoid any more guilty tears.  
  
“Hey, hey” Harry turned his body in his seat, reaching a hand up to cup Louis’ cheek. His thumb swiped to wipe away the lose tear. “Why are you crying?”  
  
Louis shook his head, Harry’s hand fell from his cheek and he inhaled a breath. “It’s so sad to hear people talk like that... they are so young, Harry. They have been through so much trauma and pain that people would only feel in a lifetime. It makes you feel guilty, for having the support system they desperately needed. I wish someone could have been there for them”  
  
“I know so do I, you’ve helped them today though Louis. You gave them another person that will sit, listen and understand. ” Harry whispered, pushing the hair back on Louis’ head “this movie is going to help so many people. They might not be going through the exact same conditions but the pain, the feelings, it’s all going to be meaningful”  
  
“What if it isn’t enough?” Louis croaked. “What if we can’t do it justice?”  
  
“We will. You know why?” Louis shook his head, glancing up at Harry. “because, you have a beautiful vision, an incredible heart and the talent to create something wonderful. And I will do everything I can to help you make sure this is the most meaningful movie of our generation”  
  
“It needs to be” Louis said, holding onto Harry’s eyes like a promise.  
  
Harry smiled, one that Louis had never seen escape from him before. And Louis almost forgot who it was he was sitting in a car with at that very moment. He was lost in the situation and lost in Harry.  
  
“Lets go get something to eat, yeah? It’s been a long day”  
  
Louis nodded and felt the sudden cold air hit his skin once Harry’s hand moved from his cheek and onto the steering wheel. He sat back in his seat and curled himself in.  
  
The drive was quiet, only the music playing across the car and not a sound from either of them. It was a twenty minute drive before Harry pulled up in a quieter area of town, it was a small restaurant, Italian.  
  
“Come on then” Harry announced, he had stepped out of the car. Turning back to smile at Louis.  
  
Louis followed him into the restaurant, noting the polite way he spoke to the waiter. He was friends with him, that was clear by the way they hugged one another. Harry followed the waiter with Louis in tow, they stopped at a table for two in the far back corner of the room.  
  
They both took their jackets off and placed them on the back of the chairs and sat opposite one another, the menus were placed in front of them and they idly glanced at them. Louis still wasn’t sure how to speak after the car conversation. It was such a raw moment between them both, so private and deep and Louis didn’t know what to do. He wasn’t sure if it was the usual sarcastic Harry he was sat in a room with or the one he had seen that night in LA or just minutes ago in the car.  
  
“What do you wanna know?” Harry asked, all of a sudden. He was drawled away as the waiter came with a bottle of complimentary wine.  
  
Louis wanted until he had poured both glasses before he glanced at him. “What’s your favourite colour?”  
  
Harry snorted behind his glass of wine “that’s really what you want to know?”  
  
“Yeah, why not”  
  
“Fine” Harry pondered, gazing directly at Louis “it’s blue”  
  
“What’s your favourite movie?”  
  
“Easy... Love Actually”  
  
Louis cocked a brow, amused “Seriously?”  
  
“Yes, why? Is that surprising?”  
  
“Well...” Louis said, sipping his wine. “I guess I had you down as something more dark. You know, being the asshole you can be”  
  
“An asshole with a love for Love Actually” Harry teased. “What about you?”  
  
“I don’t have a favourite. I have a love for all movies. Except horror movies though”  
  
“A love for them all... of course you do”  
  
“What’s that supposed to mean?”  
  
Harry snorted a laugh “seriously? I’ve heard you talk to some of the crew, the way you speak about love and fate, it’s deep man. You would think you had a Prince Charming in your life”  
  
“No Prince Charming for me” Louis sat back in his seat with his wine in hand “I’m too busy with working consistently to even attempt a relationship. Seems like I have to spend my life forcing love on the screens of hundreds of eyes than have my own”  
  
“That’s no life to live. You need to make sure you have time for yourself as well, Louis. There’s more to life than work”  
  
“Says you” Louis scoffed. “I hate to say it, Harry. But you literally have a fake girlfriend”  
  
“Not through choice” Harry fired back. “Yours however. Entirely choice”  


“Whatever” Louis brushed it off, he glanced over his menu as he stared at Harry “A night away from the fake relationship life I take it?”

 

“Clearly” Harry gestured to the two of them. “As far as I’m aware it’s you I’m sitting with and not Kendall”

 

“Where is she?”

 

Harry shrugged, closing his menu “She had to fly back to LA, she’s got a Vogue shoot this week. She only has to be here a couple of days for photos”

 

Louis nodded, deciding on the carbonara and closed his menu too. “So, tell me, Harry Styles. Why are you so bloody angry all the time? Sitting with you right now is like sitting with somebody completely different. Your like the guy from that movie Split”

 

“Charming” Harry snorted. “I’m pretty sure we’ve been through this, it’s hard not to be angry”

 

“But, you’ve spoken so positively about keeping your career they way it is. Wasn’t it your choice?”

 

Harry shook his head “No, like I said, I grew up with the idea in my head that I had to hide it all away. I didn’t wake up one day and decide to closet myself. It just makes it easier, I guess. I just do as I’m told”

 

“You hate being told what to do” Louis challenged “You specifically made a point of that”

 

“Yes, well, I do what I have to for my career. That’s what’s most important”

 

“You keep saying that” Louis stated, leaning his arms on the table in front of him. “Is that all you think about? Your job?”

 

“That’s rich. I’d say you’re quite work dependant as well, wouldn’t you?”

 

“Yes, but this is different… Harry, I’m not sure you even know the difference between when you’re acting and when you’re not anymore. You just don’t switch off”

 

“You’ve figured that out within the small time you’ve known me?” Harry cocked a brow, sipping his wine.

 

“You just confuse me” Louis said, leaning back with a sigh. “One minute you’re talking to me like I’m the worst person you’ve ever met, you’re spiteful, you’re horrid and treat me like…”

 

“Woah, calm down” Harry frowned.

 

“What I’m saying is, the next minute you’re opening up about yourself to me like I’m your best friend. It’s just very confusing, Harry. I just wanna get inside your head and figure out what’s going on in there”

 

“I can assure you, you wouldn’t want to take a step into my head” Harry huffed.

 

“Tell me… Why? What’s going on in there?”

 

“Louis…” he paused with a deep sigh, he glanced up at Louis through hooded eyes “it’s difficult. I’m a child actor, that’s the worst kind, I’ve grown up with this life. I’ve been involved in some great things, but I have been around long enough to have seen the worst of what this career can bring. I’ve just stopped caring about anything. It’s easier to just drift through life than live it”

 

“That’s ridiculous”

 

“Is it? Louis, I’m not saying this offend you, I’m really not. But you have no idea. You have worked so hard to get to where you are and I respect you and your talent. But, I have dealt with a lot of shit for being me. There’s the whole hiding my sexuality, being scolded every time I hug or touch another guy, the constant hate from the people I work with because of the stories they hear, my parents pushing me for every role I’m offered. It’s just a constant cycle. I haven’t had a break in four years. It got the point where I thought if that’s what everyone thinks of me, then just be the person they expect. I’m the straight male diva. And that’s just me now”

 

“But it’s not you” Louis sympathised, his hands were locked beneath the table. It was the first time he listened to Harry and believed what he was saying. “And I think you know that. The way you spoke to me when I first met you was extremely rude and now I know you, I don’t even think you were aware you were doing it. You’re going through life pretending to be someone you’re not”

 

“I know that” Harry’s voice was strained. He lent forward in his seat and stared at Louis, he inhaled a sharp breath “but being around you, for some reason, makes me feel more normal? I like that you’ve never taken my shit from the first conversation to now. You were the first person I’ve worked with who has actually complimented my acting skills, usually all I get is snide comments from everyone. You just make me want to do good… on this movie, I mean”

 

Louis nodded slowly, he was still raw from their experience so this was just adding onto his ongoing bubble of emotions “I appreciate that. But if the people you’re working with aren’t recognising your talents and treating you properly, why bother working with them? I’ve walked off three different sets because of shitty authors and sponsors. If I don’t like it, I won’t do it”

 

“Then why haven’t you walked from this one? You hate the author, we’re two weeks in and you’re stressed out and you have me to deal with. That’s a good enough reason, isn’t it?” Harry quizzed.

 

Louis shook his head “No. I promised myself that this would be the one I nail. No matter what happens I’m going to give the movie the recognition it deserves, it’s important to me. It’s about time the community was recognised and the struggles were highlighted”

 

“I’m envious of you” Harry declared. “Of your dedication to the movie. Most directors I’ve worked with didn’t give a fuck about the meaning or the message, they were more interested in the money in their pocket”

 

“Then they aren’t doing their job” Louis shrugged. “I got into this job because I wanted to portray how people felt and all of the love in the world that is hidden by all of the horrible things that happen. It’s my dream”

 

“That’s cute” Harry admired.

 

“What about you?” Louis asked.

 

Harry frowned, confused. “What about me?”

 

Louis smiled softly “Is that how you felt? I couldn’t be an actor myself, too scary. But it comes effortlessly to you”

 

“That’s because it was drilled into me” Harry snorted. He sat back again and relaxed, his eyes drifted off for a second “it’s not what I wanted. I never had a moment where I actually thought, yeah ‘I wanna be an actor when I’m older’.It just happened”

 

“Wait, so you didn’t chose it?”

 

“Nope” Harry said, popping the ‘p’. “I never really had a chance to actually think about what I wanted”

 

Louis frowned and parted his mouth but then closed it, not entirely sure what to say. He glanced at Harry, he seemed so unbothered by the fact he had been deprived of the chance to dream and hope to be something, he was too busy being pushed into something.

 

“But, that’s insane. What about when you were a toddler? Didn’t you dress up and pretend to be some superhero or musician or something?”

 

“Only when on stage. Mum and dad put me in a performing arts school the moment I learnt to walk”

 

“Harry, that’s… that’s so sad. Do you realise how fucked up that is? Not being able to make a choice?”

 

“Never thought anything of it” He shrugged. “My life has been an endless list of decisions made by everyone else”

 

“Well… I mean, what do you like to do?”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Hobbies? Things you do in your spare time? Things you like to do when you’re not working?” Louis pushed.

 

Harry stared back at him blankly as if the question was so foreign to him. Louis was stunned, he had never met someone like him before in his life. He looked into his eyes and saw the small boy being forced into performing, the boy that grew up with no choice, the teenager getting through every day by existing and now  a man who was so numb and oblivious to how life worked and it was heartbreaking.

 

“Sometimes my friends ask me to take pictures of them. I’ve been told I’m good at that” Harry eventually said, most likely noticing Louis’ stunned speech. “I bought myself a camera, one I saw online, had loads of good reviews… I’ve not used it though”

 

“Do you like taking pictures?”

 

“I guess” His voice drawled “I’m not sure. I haven’t had the chance to find out, I suppose”

 

“Maybe you should give it ago? You might really like it. You’ve bought the camera, that’s a start. That’s a hobby to look into, Harry” Louis encouraged, leaning forward and into the table.

 

“I guess I can give it ago”

 

“Harry, I’m so sorry” Louis blurted, his eyes brimming for what was most likely the fifth time in the past two hours. “That’s such a horrible way to live. I’m so sorry that you have had to deal with all this, it isn’t… it’s not fair”

 

“You’re not going to cry again, are you?” Harry’s face was laced with concern. “I mean, you don’t need to cry man, I’m like okay? I’m not going to cry over it so you shouldn’t either”

 

“No… I… fuck, you make me so confused” Louis sighed annoyed at his own emotions. “You literally just broke my heart. I don’t know if it’s because I’m over tired and over emotional or that you’re just really good with your words”

 

“I think we should maybe order food before this turns into another hour of you crying”

 

“Yeah” Louis choked out “Good idea”

 

Louis didn’t cry again. Although he was on the edge the entire time, he didn’t know he had so many emotions but tonight they were flurrying through him like a waterfall, gushing out without much chance of holding back. Harry ended up telling Louis a few stories from work, he learnt all about some of the actors he idolised, he heard the story of how on Harry’s first ever TV appearance he had accidentally peed himself on set and his mum had to come and get him. He heard about how when he wasn’t working he would follow his mum around the world for her catwalk shows and had met most of the worlds most important people by the age of twelve.

 

The more and more he learnt, the more fascinated he was. This guy was only 22, he was still so young but had enough stories to cover a lifetime. He admired the way Harry pushed his hair back with his ring covered fingers, the way his dimples would show when he really laughed, his eyes when he found something interesting would light up with utter interest and it was so endearing.

 

By the time they had paid the bill (Harry paid) and were back in Harry’s car, he had never felt more relaxed and content in a very long time. He glanced at Harry who sang softly to the music playing as he drove, he looked so normal minus his extremely rich looking outfit and the fact he was a massive household name. He was looking at him in a different way this evening, he was admiring him and his strength.

 

“Lose something?” Harry’s lips turned as he glanced at Louis “If you stare for much longer you’ll get stuck. Would you like to borrow my camera to take a picture?”

 

“It’s been a really nice night” Louis said through a smile, his knees facing in Harry’s direction as he lent his bad on the headrest to look at him. “It was nice to spend… to learn so much” he quickly stopped himself.

 

“Yeah, I had a really nice time with you tonight Louis. It made a change from the usual company I’m stuck with, makes me feel a bit normal” Harry admitted “I really learnt a lot from that group tonight, as hard as it was”

 

“Yeah, I think it’ll help both of us for next week”

 

“It’s the next left, right?” Harry asked as they drove closer to Louis’ London apartment.

 

“Oh, yeah. Yeah it is”

 

They drove round the next corner and they were pulling up outside of his apartment, he waited for Harry to park and glanced up the building. It was in a secure area in London, not a lot of people knew about it, it was more for famous people and Louis didn’t feel that he fit in.

 

“Here we are” Harry said, parking up outside the gate.

 

“Thank you” Louis said, unbuckling his belt. “Do you know your way back?”

 

“Yeah, I only live a few streets away. It’s easy”

 

“Oh, okay” Louis nodded, reaching for his bag and placed it out his lap. He sat still for a moment, not entirely sure what to do next. He knew a simple goodbye would suffice but it was how to approach it.

 

“You forgot something?” Harry asked, noting his hesitancy to leave the car.

 

“No” He shook his head. He looked at Harry, his eyes soft as he looked at the younger lad “I want you to know, I’m sorry for the way I spoke to you in the studio. I don’t think you are any of the names I called you, I think you’re kind, caring, talented and have been treated terribly. I think the world deserves to see the real you one day, Harry. Because they would love him.

 

Harry didn’t say anything in response, he stared at Louis speechless. Louis smiled a goodbye and exited the car. He didn’t need to hear anything, he said what he had to say and that was enough. As he walked into his building he knew that this was probably one of those very short lived moments with Harry, where he could see the real him and appreciate it and he would soon shut him out all over again. But he didn’t really mind. He understood it now. His stomach was a whirlwind, almost dancing with an unfamiliar feeling and he didn’t know what it meant. He wasn’t sure he wanted to know either. He hoped it was a bad carbonara.

 

He walked into his apartment, biting back a smile as he thought back on the evening. He carried it until he stood in his living room and saw the scene in front of him.

 

Niall was spread out across his sofa, one leg thrown over the back of it and the other on the floor. He had a blanket over his chest, empty bottles of juice and water across the floor and food packets surrounding him. The amount of crumbs over his chest was ridiculous, he had easily eaten the entire contents of Louis’ fridge.

 

“I have so many questions” Louis frowned.

 

“Hey!” Niall cheered, crumbs falling from his chin.

 

“Do you ever actually work? Or you know, stay at your own house?”

 

“Why bother? When I have you to sponge off?”

 

Louis rolled his eyes, he didn’t have the energy to fight back and forth with Niall this evening. He was too blissed out by it all. He simply shoved Niall’s legs off the end of the sofa and threw himself down onto the sofa with a content sigh.  

 

“Where have you been? It’s like…” Niall gazed up at the clock on the wall. “Nearly half ten. Didn’t you finish at six?”

 

“Yeah but me and Harry went to a meeting and then for some dinner” Louis shrugged it off.

 

“You what… You went for dinner with Harry? What the fuck? You were shouting at him yesterday. You two are the most confusing guys I’ve ever met”

 

“Whatever” Louis rolled his eyes.

 

“I’m about to watch the final Harry Potter movie, you wanna watch?”

 

“Sure”

 

Louis sat back, it was about half an hour after he had been home that his phone vibrated twice in his pocket. He didn’t know whether to look to begin with, scared it was something to do with work but he eventually did.

 

It was two text messages. From Harry. And Louis’ heart fluttered a little, like it skipped a beat and he quickly pushed that feeling away.

 

_I’m home by the way. Thanks for tonight. It was great. And thanks for listening to me as well Louis, I can’t remember the last time someone let me talk like that. I don’t think they ever have to be honest. I’m looking forward to work tomorrow! Thanks again. H. X_

 

_Oh, by the way. Your sunglasses must have fell out your pocket. I’ve put them in my bag for you. :) x_

 

Louis couldn’t fight the smile that spread across his face.

 

_Thank you . Especially for dinner . It was a lot to take in tonight from both the meeting and you , I’m deffo over whelmed lol ! See u tomorrow bright and early :) xx_

 

He pressed send, his phone fell onto his lap and he must have fell asleep about ten minutes after that. The first peaceful nights sleep he had in a while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING. 
> 
> This chapter includes a conversation based around Teen suicide. A subject I know will be quite personal to some. 
> 
> If you or anyone you know is struggling then remember there is help, research local numbers and organisations. There are people surrounding you who love you and care for you. 
> 
> Having had a friend who I have lost to suicide I cannot stress enough how important it is that you take notice of your friends/family, look for any signs possible. Show everyone around you the love and kindness you expect. 
> 
> Treat people with kindness. 
> 
> I am also always here, no matter if I know you or not. My Twitter is @text_larry and I will try my absolute best to support, listen and care. 
> 
> Thank you. Feel free to skip ahead if you are triggered.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter song recommendations I listened to whilst writing! 
> 
> LANY - ILYSB.   
> MGMT - kids.   
> Of Monsters and Men - Little Talks.

Louis was bouncing around the studio with enthusiasm the next day, he had smashed the meeting with the script writers over the new additions to the ending. He had a conversation on the phone with the author without any arguments. He had filmed two amazing scenes with Timothée and he was on a high. If the rest of the week could continue this way then he was well on his way to making a fantastic movie.

 

He expected Harry to walk in quite happily, after his texts from the night before. He was sat on his chair, signing a few contracts when the doors opened. He wasn’t quite ready for what came.

 

“Louis! Outside, now!” He shouted.

 

Louis frowned, noting all of the stares he was receiving from the cast and crew. They were most likely expecting him to shout back, cause an argument or ignore him.

 

But he didn’t, he cautiously excused himself and left to follow Harry out of the studio doors. He mumbled an apology to the people around the room and left.

 

He looked out to see Harry standing against the corridor wall, his head low. He heard Louis’ steps and looked up to face him. The young look Louis saw the night before had disappeared, his eyes were surrounded by the black bags he first saw and his hair was shoved up into a poor excuse of a bun. Half of it was hanging out.

 

“What’s going on?” Louis asked, cautiously walking towards him.

 

“I’m fucked!” Harry trembled, Louis could see the tears trying to fight their way out.

 

“What do you mean?”

 

Harry stepped forward and his hands reached to pull on his hair which explained the loose strands. “I fucked up. I was talking to Liam on the phone outside my house and someone must have heard me. The management team called me in and… they were so pissed off! They threatened to take this role away from me, they said they would ruin me if I wasn’t more careful… I didn’t even, fuck, Louis, I’ve fucked up”

 

“Woah, woah, calm down” Louis said, reaching up to grab Harry’s wrists and pull his hands from his hair. “What do you mean they heard you? Saying what?”

 

“I was telling him about the meeting… I told him about it all and then I was fucking stupid” Harry sighed, letting his arms go limp in Louis’ grip “I said, I’m lucky to be out in a family that supports me”

 

“What’s to wrong with that?”

 

“I outed myself on the phone and someone heard, Lou. They went straight to The Sun! They rang management straight away and told them, they had to pay them to keep quiet… I didn’t mean to, I thought I’d be safe talking about it. I mean, I was at my fucking house!”

 

Harry was frantic, his eyes scattering and the strain obvious across his expression and Louis’ melted. He didn’t know what came over him, he pulled his arms and pulled the younger boy into him. He tip-toed up and hooked his arms around the taller lads shoulders and held him close, one hand reaching to stroke his hair.

 

“Calm down, okay? It’s going to be alright, they’ve sorted it, yeah? No one knows” Louis soothed, he felt Harry’s arms snake around his waist. “Nobody is going to find out. Nobody. You’re okay”

 

“I can’t believe I was so stupid” He whispered against Louis’ shoulder. “I know better, I’ve been taught all about it my entire life”

 

“You made a little mistake Harry, stop beating yourself up about it” Louis sighed, he pulled back and held onto Harry’s hands “Chill, yeah? It was one fame hungry guy, he’ll tell his mates down the pub and they won’t believe him. The press won’t talk, it’s been sorted. It’s going to be okay”

 

Harry shook his head “I’m sorry. I just… I just panicked, I don’t know what to do when this shit happens. And they were so shit, they just kept telling me how fucking stupid and unprofessional I was, it was brutal”

 

“They’re idiots. You’re not unprofessional at all. You were on your own property having a private conversation, I mean, how fucking stupid are these people?” Louis scolded. He rolled his eyes, finally dropping Harry’s hand. “Don’t you dare let them ruin your day”

 

“I’m just so fed up” Harry sighed, his hands reached up to rub his face.

 

“I know. But do you wanna know what makes me feel better when I’m fed up?”

 

Harry glanced at him beneath his hands “What?”

 

“Creating a hit movie with the best director in showbiz” Louis winked, nudging him with his elbow.

 

“You’re an idiot” Harry snorted, dropping his hands. “I’ve been freaking out for two hours and you make one shitty joke and it's okay, how the fuck does that work?”

 

Louis shrugged “I don’t know. Maybe I should become a stand up comedian?”

 

“No. Definitely not, ever. Please, no. God, I can’t even imagine. You can never and I mean NEVER do that”

 

“Jheez” Louis’ eyes widened with a bark of a laugh that escaped him “what a way to ruin my hopes and dreams”

 

“Shut up, loser”

 

“I don’t know if you want to but after we’ve finished today I’m heading over to Niall’s and we’re having a movie and takeaway night” Louis suggested, before adding “oh, he’s invited Liam as well”

 

“Liam never mentioned, he’s an awful best friend. I’m going to look at hiring a new one”

 

“Is that a yes or?”

 

“Sure. Oh, but I have to leave at 5 because I’ve got an interview but I’m free after 7?”

 

“That’s fine. I’ll give you the address and you can meet us there”

 

“Or you can pick me up and I can carpool”

 

“Do I have to?” Louis teased.

 

“Yes, Yes you do”

 

“Fine. Now, since your panic is over. Get yourself into wardrobe. It’s the young scene today, get to see you acting like a fresh faced eighteen year old, how exciting”

 

The banter was so normal to Louis already, less full on arguments and insults and more humour and fondness to it. Louis enjoyed it. Despite himself.

 

***

 

Louis was tired, it was a long day with plenty of stress much to his annoyance - he had come into the day in a bright mood and positive attitude but that was never going to last not in this job. The writers were calling him every half an hour to discuss the progress which the author wasn’t ever going to be happy about. One thing after another.

 

He had never been more excited for a lads night.

 

He was on his way to Niall’s with Harry on the phone beside him, they hadn’t spoken much since he had picked him up. Mainly due to the fact he had been on the phone the entire time. He just kept the music low and focused on the road whilst only slight listening to what was being said.

 

“I understand that… No, I will not make the same mistake again. It was harmless, I should be able to have a conversation on my own property without worrying someone’s listening… That’s stupid, I didn’t… Okay, I won’t do it again. I promise…” Louis wondered who it was, it was hardly the manner in which you would speak to someone of a higher stance than yourself. So his management were off the cards.

 

Louis reached to turn the radio station over, bored of listening to Liam sing, he was about to hear him speak for the rest of the night. As he did, Harry was saying goodbye.

 

“Okay. I love you too, Bye Dad”

 

He wasn’t expecting that. He had been on the phone for the twenty minute journey defending himself and his actions to his own dad.

 

“You okay?” Louis asked, picking the station that was playing Kodaline.

 

“I love this song” Harry stated, opening his window slightly. “I’m fine”

 

“If you say so”

 

They didn’t speak again, not even as they walked the path to Niall’s door. They both separately greeted Niall and Liam, the conversation was divided once inside. Louis and Niall were talking about Niall’s next tournament whilst Liam and Harry were talking audibly about the situation from this morning. It was like Harry couldn’t switch off, once something bothered him it would build up in his head until it angered him so much he would express the usual attitude he had.

 

It explained a lot.

 

“Decision time boys!” Niall said, he walked through into the living room where the other three boys had occupied seats on the sofas. He held two boxsets in his hands, waving them at them “Toy story or Insidious?”

 

“Not a fuckin’ chance are we watching Insidious” Louis clearly stated, holding his hands up.

 

“We’re not watching Toy Story” Liam snorted, leaning up in the cuddle chair he was occupying.

 

“Why not?” Louis pouted.

 

“I watched it the other day” Harry stated, sitting on the other side of the sofa from him.

 

“I’m up for insidious” Niall said, already throwing the Toy Story boxset onto the floor.

 

“You know I hate scary movies” Louis groaned, grabbing a pillow from his side and covered it over his face.

 

“You’ll be fine” Harry said from beside him. “If you get scared, I’ll hold your hand”

 

“ _I’ll_ _hold_ _your_ _hand_ ” Niall mimicked, snorting a laugh along with Liam.

 

“Shut up” Harry rolled his eyes “Put the movie on and sit down”

 

Louis laughed behind his pillow and finally dropped it, he sighed, leaning back on the sofa and swung his legs over the arm of the sofa. He hated this.

 

As soon as the movie started, he was hating it. The music was enough to give him nightmares for the rest of the week. Why people chose to do this in their spare time completely baffled him. He jumped at the opening credits, there was no hope for him.

 

Niall was laying down on the sofa opposite them, a blanket thrown over his body. Liam had curled up on the cuddle chair and he and Harry were a seat apart, Harry was sat up right, his elbow on the arm of the sofa and rested his head on the palm of his hand. Louis tried to tell himself it wasn’t real and to stop being so scared. But it’s easier to tell yourself something than actually do it.

 

It was just the first half an hour and enough loud noises and creepy music had left Louis covering his hands with his face, his friends laughing every time he jumped or let out a small scream. He was easily scared.

 

“Come here” Harry said and Louis’ head snapped to look at him, mainly because he wasn’t sure whether he was a demon in his ear or not.

 

He frowned “What?”

 

Harry opened his arms, using one to tap the spot beside him. Louis bit his lip and mused over it for a minute, but once something was thrown over the kitchen in the movie he couldn’t stop himself. He shuffled closer, he moved close to Harry. He rested his head onto his shoulder, one arm sneaking around his back and the other leaning against his chest and Harry’s arms fit perfectly around his smaller frame. He ignored Niall’s and Liam’s knowing looks and tucked himself close.

 

He couldn’t focus on the movie after that, he was focusing on Harry’s fingers as they traced the skin of his arm. He focused on Harry’s chest moving up and down below his hand. He admired how he wouldn’t jolt up in shock when the scene would change and a face would pop on screen or the music changed. He got lost in Harry completely - it was the most insane feeling. Louis’ jumped when a face popped up on screen and he felt Harry’s arms tighten around him, his hand moving up and down his arm. And then he felt something different, he felt the touch of Harry’s soft lips against the top of his head and his entire body stilled beneath his touch. Not because of shock but due to how normal it felt, it should not have been so comfortable.

 

But he stayed where he was throughout the entire first movie, only moving when their pizza arrived but as soon as he finished and the second movie began he had wrapped himself back up in the exact same spot. He stayed there for hours, only looking up from his spot on Harry’s chest when he heard Niall’s snoring from opposite them, then he gazed over at Liam who was mirroring him. He smiled fondly and then gazed up at Harry who’s eyes were still focused on the TV.

 

“Hey, you tired?” Louis whispered.

 

Harry gazed down at him beneath his lashes and smiled “Yeah a little bit. Are you?”

 

Louis nodded slowly “I’m gonna take the guest room. This sofa has killed my back too many times”

 

“Oh” Harry nodded, releasing his arms from Louis’ body to let him move “that’s fine”

 

Louis snuck out of his grip and sat up, his arms reached above his head and stretched out. He glanced at Harry who hadn’t moved an inch, he slumped his shoulders for a second and was hesitant before saying “Do you want to share?”

 

Harry’s eyes were wide “I.. What? Share what?”

 

“The guest bed” Louis laughed, softly. “I’m afraid I haven’t got much else to share”

 

“Oh, I mean, do you mind?”

 

Louis shook his head “Of course not”

 

Harry glanced at the two other boys, the TV and then back at Louis and nodded “Yeah, okay” and Louis smiled.

 

Louis was the one to turn the TV off. He walked over to pull the blanket higher over Niall and turned to Harry and nodded for him to follow. Harry was hot on his steps as Louis guided him up the stairs, careful not to trip in the darkness. He found the handle for the spare room, he stepped in and used one hand to swipe the wall until he found the switch. He loved this room, it was because he was the one who actually furnished it and decorated it. Only because Niall finished his living room and decided no other room was needed. It was his room.

 

“It’s nice” Harry stated and Louis smiled, he wasn’t going to mention the whole decorating thing again.

 

Louis hummed “I’m not sleeping in my jeans so you’ll have to deal with my hairy legs”

 

“That’s fine” Harry snorted.

 

He turned his back to Harry when he undressed, he let his jeans drop to the floor and kicked them into the corner. He was going to have to deal with keeping his T-Shirt on for tonight. He turned round and Harry had already stripped off and occupied the side closest to the wall.

 

“What if I wanted that side?” Louis teased.

 

“I mean, you’ll have to fight me for it” Harry fired back.

 

“I’m too tired for that” Louis decided against, he reached for the switch and turned the lights out and carefully found his way to the bed. He slipped himself under the sheets beside Harry.

 

They lay with their body inches from one another, both on their backs and probably both staring at the ceiling.

 

“Thank you for earlier” Harry whispered after a few moments of silence “you calmed me down. No one has ever been able to do that before”

 

Louis was able to hide the smile on his face with the darkness across the room “You’re welcome”

 

“You make me feel really… comfortable”

 

“I’m glad, you should feel like that around me. Believe it or not I’m one of the good guys” Louis comforted “if it makes you feel any better, when you’re not shouting at me… you really can light up my day”

 

“I doubt that”

 

Louis frowned and tilted his head to look at Harry, not that he could see. “Really, you do”

 

He heard Harry’s head tilt as the pillow shuffled. He could faintly see the outline of his face in the dark, he turned on his side and tucked his arms into his chest and rested his head on his hand.

 

“You shouldn’t doubt yourself so much” Louis spoke softly and cautiously “You do that a lot. You know there’s so much more to you than how you act”

 

“You’re the only who thinks so” Harry mirrored his actions. They were facing each other now, mere inches away. “It’s so hard sometimes”

 

“It’s not fair” Louis sighed, reaching a hand out to take Harry’s “I know this world is shit, I know you’ve been treated poorly but please don’t let them take every part of you away”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“You know how we describe the character as a media puppet? That’s exactly what they’re trying to do and they are so close to doing it, Harry. The only time I see the real you is when it’s just the two of us. I don’t want them to strip that away as well”

 

“I don’t… I wouldn’t let that happen”

 

“I don’t think you would, on your own accord. I just like this version of you more” Louis breathed and Harry’s hand gripped his hand back. “It’s a shame the world can’t see this side of you, I meant it, they would love you even more”

 

“Why do you see the good in me? It’s like, no matter how I treat you, you still give me the benefit of the doubt. I barely know you and the first two weeks you wanted to place my head on a stake and now?” 

 

Louis shrugged beneath the covers “I like to think there is good in everyone, it’s the worst trait that I have. But, I’m actually certain that there’s good in you. I can see it. Even if you were easily the most insufferable people I’ve ever worked with in my life the first week or two” 

 

“You’re too good for this world, Louis”

 

“Don’t get all philosophical on me” He giggled softly.

 

He was about to make another joke about Harry’s new guru stereotype he was trying in bed but he couldn't. Harry’s hand moved from his hand and was on his cheek, cupping it as his thumb stroked the skin. He moved into the touch and closed his eyes, taking it all in.

 

It reminded him of the way Harry had touched him in LA, the sparks, the intense feeling within him. It was so intense and all at once. And then he moved, Harry’s lips found his own and Harry was kissing Louis. The feeling just melted within him, Louis realised at that moment that he would never have enough. It wasn’t rushed, there was no urgency about it. It was the most delicate moments Louis had ever experienced. Harry pulled back and kept his hand on his cheek, his thumb still stroking the flushed skin of Louis’ face.

 

“You’re so wonderful” Harry whispered “So, so lovely”

 

“So are you”

 

Louis shuffled in without an invite, he pulled Harry’s body close to his own and wrapped his arms around his torso to rest his head against his chest. Harry hummed and held him close, placing gentle kisses on his head.

 

“Life will get better for you, Harry”

 

Harry didn’t reply, his breath’s evened out and his body relaxed beneath him. Louis settled on him, falling asleep to the sound of Harry’s steady breath. He knew this was a whole new step for Harry and that was enough.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter song recommendations I listened to whilst writing. Highly recommend. These are the songs that inspired me to write the chapter. Kinda in order. You’ll thank me later when they’re your new favourite songs. 
> 
> Empire of the sun - Alive.   
> Maisie Peters - Worst of you.   
> SYML - Where’s My Love.   
> Artic Monkeys - When the sun goes down.   
> Two Door Cinema Club - What you know.

“Can someone explain to me what the fuck is going on?”

 

Niall laughed from the front seat and turned around to shake his head at Louis in amusement.

 

Somehow Niall had managed to bombard him on his day off, Harry hadn’t been on set for four days due to prior commitments on a tv series and that meant he had quite easily the hardest week yet and unanswered questions from his night sharing with him.

 

He had not heard from him and he was worried. It wasn’t like he had text to check up on him, but it wasn’t the point, Harry should let him know. But then again, it wasn’t like he really had to, he had no commitments.

 

He was sulking in the backseat of Niall’s car, Liam had been picked up along the way. Which baffled him even more, he had no idea what was going on and that’s what infuriated him. He only had one day off for the next three weeks and he had woken up to Niall banging on his door at 7 this morning. It was no wonder he was grumpy.

 

“We’re going to a party” Liam finally admitted.

 

“In the day?”

 

Niall hit Liam across the back of the head “Why did you tell him? I love watching him suffer silently”

 

“You’re really sadistic” Louis grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest. “A party? It’s like ten in the morning right now and sadly, I was supposed to be working from home today”

 

“Yeah well, we’ve got a launch party”

 

“Where are all these parties coming from? You realise I’m a film director, right? I’m supposed to hide away from all of the public parties, i’m meant to sit in a dark room judging everyone’s film work”

 

“You’re not a hedgehog, you cannot hibernate”

 

“Who’s launch party? And why is it in the day?”

 

“It’s not” Niall groaned, exhausted by this conversation “Well, GQ are throwing a party for their new cover”

 

“Why would I care about GQ?”

 

“Maybe because your best friend is on the cover?”

 

“You’re what?” Louis spat, eyes wide as he inched forward in his seat. He smacked the back of Niall’s arm. “Why didn’t you fucking tell me, you twat!”

 

“Ouch. Because I was going to surprise you!”

 

“Oh my god, I can’t believe it! They’re putting your ugly mug on the front of a high established publication. Were they high when they chose you?”

 

“You know Louis, I’m getting real tired of your shit”

 

“He’s been hanging around Harry too much” Liam smirked, winking at Louis from the mirror.

 

“Have you heard much from your lover boy?” Niall asked, his smile faded when he saw the glare Louis was giving him through the mirror. 

 

“He’s not my fucking lover boy” Louis protested, huffing as he crossed his arms over his chest “He’s literally just someone I work with and that’s that”

 

“Oh of course, I wouldn’t doubt that. But then, you know, you have also shagged him”

 

“You shagged him?” Liam choked out, literally choking on the sip of drink he was just having. “What? When?”

 

“Did Harry not tell you?” Niall asked, the two of them now having this conversation like Louis wasn't there. “Oh mate, it happened the night of your album launch”

 

“What? Why the fuck have I missed this information? I just thought you two were those kinda pals who like to touch eachother, not touchy because you've shagged. Bloody hell!” Liam was shocked. He glanced behind to look at Louis “How bad was the NDA you signed then?”

 

Louis eyebrows furrowed “Oh, well, I didn’t sign one”

 

“Oh this is just getting better” Liam was in disbelief as he stared at Louis. “He has made every single lad he’s slept with sign one”

 

“Not me” Louis shrugged “Guess he trusts me”

 

“Yeah…” Liam drawled, eyeing Louis “I guess he does”

 

“Well, you can ask him tonight because he said he’s going to try and make it”

 

“He’s coming?” Louis asked, physically perking up in his seat. 

 

“Don’t cream your boxers. He said he will try, Lou” Niall snorted.

 

“Shut up” He sat back once again, in a huff. “Wait. So why are we leaving so early it’s not until tonight?”

 

“Thought we could check in to a hotel, get something for lunch and that before we get ready. And before you ask, I have already arranged a suit for you to be delivered to the hotel”

 

“Fine” 

 

“Fuckin’ hell” Liam laughed, leaning his head back against the headrest “it’s like we’re taking a toddler on a day trip. He’s as stroppy as Harry. They’ve been hanging out too much” 

 

He carried on with his act throughout the journey, for some reason the launch was being held in Scotland. Which explained the very early start to the day and the five hour drive, which killed Louis. He was more tired than he had been that morning when they left. He asked constantly _Why didn’t we just get a flight?_ But Niall insisted it was a good bonding experience. Which was daft, they hardly spoke the entire drive.

 

When they arrived at the hotel Louis escaped the car, acting as though he had been trapped in for days rather than a mere few hours. He stretched his body and fell to his knees, he held his arms up in the air “I can feel it. The oxygen, it’s back. I can breathe again”

 

“You’re such a dick” Niall said, kicking Louis as he knelt on the floor. “Get up. You’re making us look like a bunch of psychopaths” 

 

“Oh, I’m sorry but, did your best mate just kidnap you from your house and force you into a five hour drive? No. I didn’t think so. Let me over exaggerate this”

 

“It’s cold” Liam huffed, shoving a second jacket over himself “I forgot that it was colder here than London”

 

“It’s smack bang in the middle of winter Liam, what do you expect?” Louis asked, frowning. Were all of his friends this daft? 

 

“I wpuldn’t stay on those knees for too long, mate. Never know what will happen when Harry’s here, you need them in top condition” Liam fired back with a smug smile.

 

Louis didn’t respond, he shoved his hand up and stuck his middle finger up at him. Niall had given up on the pair of them already and was walking ahead with his bag on his shoulder. Liam and Louis scrambled for their own and raced after him.

 

They were staying in The Witchery by the Castle in Edinburgh. It was a stunning building, most likely built years ago and was so close to the castle where Niall’s launch was being hosted this evening. Niall had done good picking this one, once you stepped inside it was so different to the outside. You looked up to grand chandelier’s, it was furnished to match the exterior, grand paintings along the walls and elegant. Definitely nothing like the three lads who had walked in looking like they had been dragged through a bush, Louis hated Niall a little for not pre-warning him. He was dressed in the cotton joggers he had worn to bed the night before, he kept his head down as they head for the reception.

 

“Mr Horan” The small, friendly looking lady greeted from behind the desk before they had even reached it “Mr Payne, Mr Tomlinson. It’s a pleasure to have you all staying here with us for the evening”

 

“Thank you” Niall responded, chipper as always. He lent against the desk with a grand smile to match the decor “Pleasure is all ours. Are our rooms ready?”

 

“Yes, Sir” Louis noted the excitement she was trying to hide, most likely trained for when celebrities came to stay. Louis hated that word, ‘celebrity’ what made them so special. “We have two rooms booked. I believe, it’s yourself and Mr Payne in one room and Mr Tomlinson in the other”

 

“You couldn’t get three separate rooms?” Liam rolled his eyes, leaning beside him.

 

“It’s on the magazine, not me” He defended “What’s so wrong with staying with me? I’m great fun”

 

“It is our suites, Mr Payne. You will be accommodated with your own bed and a joint living space”

 

“What about me?” Louis pouted.

 

“Your room is one of our king suites, I’m positive that you will be most happy there”

 

“I didn’t want to share with you. You’re messy” Niall said as though it wasn’t an insult. “Anyway, you’ll end up with a certain someone in there with you”

 

“He might not even make it!” Louis addressed, crossing his arms over his chest “and I don’t always end up with him!”

 

“Yeah, right” Niall scoffed.

 

They were all handed their key cards and each had a member of the host staff take their bags and guide them up to their room. They seperated in the elevator, Louis was on the third floor while Niall and Liam on the forth. They agreed to meet back in Niall and Liam’s in a couple of hours to get ready together.

 

Louis didn’t mind staying on his own, not really, he was the type of person who enjoyed their own company. Plus, Niall was annoyingly loud, all of the time. He was already tired and grumpy so that mixed with Niall’s excitement would be enough to drain him mentally.

 

“Here’s your case and your rooms at the end of that hallway, Sir. If there is anything you would like or require then please do not hesitate to call reception. I am here for the remainder of your stay”

 

“Thank you”

 

Louis waved the host off and head down the hallway, it was one door at the very end, the only other room on this floor being on the opposite side. He was guaranteed a quiet stay.

 

He hovered his keycard over the lock and a green light flashed, he used his shoulder to push the door open. It was at that moment he decided he would too also like to work with GQ, because this room was stunning.

 

He felt like he had just walked into the Queen of England’s actual quarters, it wasn’t a standard bedroom. It was a dream. The walls were pearly white, the only colour on them being the original paintings of some of the old members of the Royal Family. He walked in and was led into a room with two floral printed sofas situated in the middle, he gazed round to find a mini library in one corner and a small bar in the other. The TV on the wall was beyond belief, he had never seen one so big in his life, he wasn’t even sure if he would be able to work it.

 

He gazed out of the window and was met with fields and fields of the Scottish countryside and there, just in view was Edinburgh castle. It was stunning.

 

He turned on his heel, dropped the bag Niall had packed and noticed the door at the back wall. He walked towards it, he pushed the handle and was met with dream room number two. The bed was four post, bigger than his entire bedroom back home. It was glorious, the bed sheets were silk and patterned, something he was certain cost more than his entire existence. Probably pulled from Buckingham palace, they were beautiful red in colour, there was no other way to describe them other than elegant. But that was said for the rest of the room also, the red theme kept the same.

 

It was moments like this that he was thankful for his rich, wealthy and successful friends. Sure he was as successful and moderately wealthy, but, he would never be graced with luxuries like this - he was just the guy behind the camera, like Harry had said.

 

He paused for a second, trying to stop himself but there was no point. He ran across the wooden flooring and practically sprung himself onto the bed with a laugh. It was as comfy as it looked. He lay on his back, his head resting on the feather pillow and glanced at the ceiling. He turned his head to the window in this room and gazed at the same view, he focused his eyes on the castle in the distance and did so for quite a while until sleep took over his small, excited body.

 

***

 

He awoke from a banging on his door and a very vibrant and annoying Irish voice singing, the exact same way he had been woken that morning. He was beginning to wish Niall away completely.

 

He didn’t get up, it was one of the hosts that let Niall in without Louis’ content. Which he then decided, he hated the staff here as much as him. He covered himself with the ridiculously soft duvet up to his head, ignoring both Niall and Liam who were singing and dancing around his room like two toddlers.

 

Niall shook his shoulders “Wake up, Wake up, Wake up!”

 

Louis groaned and rolled over onto his stomach “Come on Louis’ stop being a Debby downer! We’ve ordered room service and we’ve got to get ready” Niall said.

 

“I’m too comfy” Louis sighed, pulling the duvet to his shoulder. He gazed up over his shoulder and saw Niall sat by his feet and Liam laying across the edge of the bed.

 

“I’ve woken up in a nightmare. There’s no way this is my life, that’s just upsetting”

 

“You’re a real dick” Niall snorted, shoving him “Come on, pizza’s calling our names!”

 

It took a total of half an hour for Louis to be convinced to get out of bed and then he complained for another fifteen minutes because his pizza was cold. By the time he had actually eaten more than a slice and finished his tired grumbling both Niall and Liam were both already getting dressed.

 

“How long do I have?” Louis said with a mouthful of pizza.

 

“You’d have longer if you didn’t sleep for three hours” Niall cocked a brow, pulling his suit trousers up. “You have forty five minutes. We need to be downstairs before the guests arrive, I have to talk to the director”

 

“Forty five minutes?” Louis grimaced “Ew”

 

“Get off your fat arse and get dressed!”

 

Louis was going to fire back with something but as he turned, a pillow came flying at his face and knocked the pizza from his hand. He had enough, he just pouted sadly at the pizza and stayed silent.

 

Eventually, he was showered and smelling moderately okay and was changing into the outfit that Niall had laid out for him on the sofa. He admired his choice, he had somehow managed to raid his wardrobe to find the one Burberry shirt he had in there to go with the black suit he had rented for him from Tom Ford.

 

“What am I supposed to do with this?” Louis grumbled, staring in the mirror at his hair that lay flat on his forehead.

 

“Style it up or something” Liam shrugged.

 

Louis stared at him blankly, he had never been the kind of guy to make any effort with his hair at all. It was easier to let it dry naturally and deal with the hot mess that it was. The only time it had looked moderately okay was when he had hair and makeup gifted to him before an awards show. But there was none of the today.

 

“Sit” Niall said, walking towards him and nodding at the vanity chair. He grabbed some wax from the side of the sink and stood in front of him “I learnt some stuff from all of the hair stylists”

 

“I swear to god Niall, do not give me a mohawk”

 

Niall ignored him, he just went about doing whatever it was he was doing to his hair. Louis sat back silently, trying to sit almost straight in an attempt not to crease his newly ironed shirt. He was sat for a good ten minutes before Niall finally stood back, Louis gazed at him and almost laughed at the look of pride on his face.

 

“Have a look” Niall beamed.

 

Louis was hesitant. But, he stood to his feet and eventually looked in the mirror. He admired his friend, for someone who’s living was hitting balls into a bunch of holes, he hadn’t done a bad job.

 

“I look like a cinnamon swirl”

 

“A hot cinnamon swirl” Niall confirmed.

 

“Stop flirting with me” Louis teased, moving his head side to side to admire it. “Thanks”

 

“No problem. So, now that the prince of awkward is finally ready. Shall we head down?”

 

Louis and Liam both nodded, they did a sweep of the suite making sure they had their belongings and had not left anything laying around that was valuables - once they all had their phones and wallets (only valuable thing to them) in their pockets, they were ready to go.

 

Louis couldn’t believe the amount of people waiting in the large hotel lobby, a bunch of famous faces, normal people and men with cameras. All here to see Niall.

 

For someone who played a boring sport, Niall was liked by a lot of people. He was known for his cheeky attitude, his bubbly personality and the fact he had fell over on national TV. He was very popular, considering.

 

They walked into the function room and Louis was impressed, again. Not so much by the amount of pictures of Niall on every single wall. The one shot of him laying across a beach shirtless was something he was going to tease him about for the rest of his life.

 

“You’re here! It’s nice to see you all” an older gentleman approached them, baring his hand to shake all of their own. “We’ll be letting people in very soon. We have a table reserved at the back for your use only. The bar is aware of your faces, so you will not pay for a single drink this evening. We want you all to enjoy this. About half way through we’ll be grabbing you to come on stage Niall, just a quick speech and then it’s done. It’s more for publicity than anything else. The sport feature is big”

 

“Got it” Niall nodded.

 

“Enjoy yourselves boys. If there’s anything you need, please don’t hesitate to come and find me”

 

“Thank you very much” They all spoke together as the older man walked away.

 

“Well, it looks like we’re getting drunk tonight” Niall said, rubbing his hands together with a grin.

 

“Please, just don’t be a mess when you get on stage” Liam snorted.

 

“No; please do” Louis butted in. “Do something stupidly embarrassing so I can hold it against you forever”

 

“You know, I prefer you when you’re in work mode. When you’re away from it you turn into that annoying guy I forgot about”

 

“Shall we start with a pint?” Louis avoided the conversation, nodding to the bar. And they all nodded.

 

Free alcohol was going to trouble. if parties like this kept coming up, he was going to be embarrassing himself more and more - he had never been one to know when enough alcohol was enough. He was a bit of a party animal when he was younger, in Uni. Which made sense considering last time he had got into a drunken state, he ended up sleeping with Harry Styles.

 

No repeat of this tonight. He hoped.

 

It was an hour into the party, the room was buzzed with a crowd of people, barely any space to move. Louis had done the rounds, speaking to models and well known business stars. He eventually became bored of boring conversations about bland people’s lives and head retreated back to their table to sit alongside Liam and Niall. They had a large bottle of vodka in an ice bucket on the table, it was a bottle of grey goose. He wasn’t sure where this came from and why it was here, but the look on Niall’s lit up face answered that.

 

“They said we could have a bottle” Niall explained once Louis slid beside him in the booth. “I have to be on set by two tomorrow afternoon. If I drink that I’m not going to make it”

 

“Live a little” Niall shrugged, puling the bottle from the bucket. He grabbed a glass and began to pour it. “You only live once mate, get as drunk as you can and have a great time”

 

“You should be a motivational speaker”

 

“You should learn to shut your mouth but that’s never going to happen” Niall fired back,

 

“Rude” Louis scoffed, grabbing the glass from Niall’s hand. “I hope you trip on stage”

 

He shouldn’t have taken the vodka, he also should not have poured himself another four. Because once Niall’s speech was over he was quite clearly, very drunk. He has talked animatedly with Liam about how much he loved life and then a deep conversation about how aliens were most definitely real. He had moved onto strangers, telling them about the new movie, they really didn’t care much. Eventually, realising no one was listening or cared he moved to the dance floor where the DJ was playing multiple different pop songs and he was up dancing in between a bunch of strangers having the time of his life.

 

He was swaying his hips, arms in the air and singing along even though he didn’t know the lyrics at all. Eventually Liam joined him, he was on his way to being as drunk as Louis, it was Niall who was the partially sober one this time, still mingling with the guests.

 

“I love this song!” Louis cheered with bright eyes over the Little Mix song that played across the venue.

 

“I can tell” Liam chuckled, sipping his drink.

 

“Shout out to my ex” Louis attempted to sing, but instead it came out as a jumble of words all at once and Liam laughed. “I’m so drunk” he admitted.

 

Liam nodded, his glass not leaving his lips until he had completely finished his drink. As soon as it was empty, he pouted “It’s gone”

 

“I’ll get us some more” Louis slurred, grabbing his glass from his hand. “I’ll get some shots too!”

 

Liam threw both arms in the air and cheered “Wooh!” As Louis barged his way through the crowd of people, mumbling drunken apologies as he elbowed more than just a few people. As soon as he reached the bat, he practically fell onto it. His elbows lent against the marble with a sloppy smile.

 

“I think you’re a little drunk” The man behind the bar smirked, leaning on the back of the bar with his arms crossed over his chest.

 

“Only a little” Louis said, using his thumb and finger to show how small it was. The boy behind the bar was very pretty and Louis had to hold back from belting it out. He wasn’t good at playing subtle when drunk.

 

“What can I get you?”

 

“Your number?” Louis blabbed. He quickly threw his hand up and covered his mouth with a giggle. “I mean, two vodkas and coke and two tequila shots”

 

“Which one is it?” The guy asked, leaning on the counter from his side. “My number or the drinks?”

 

Louis pondered for a second, at least pretended to do so. “Maybe both?” He asked, cheekily.

 

“I’m sure we can arrange that”

 

“Well, the drinks first” Louis urged him with a wink.

 

The younger lad let out a short chuckle and eventually turned round to do exactly that. Maybe tonight wasn’t such a bad idea, he would get quite tipsy and get a very cute guys number. After all, Harry did tell him he should start to live his life rather than work through it.

 

He drunkenly gazed around the room, laughing as his best friend fell over his own feet trying to get through the crowd of people. He turned back once the drinks he had ordered were placed in front of him.

 

“Thank you” Louis sang, grinning down at the shots. “Did I mention that I’m Louis Tomlinson? So I don’t have to pay for the drinks?”

 

“I know who you are” He smiled “I’m a big fan”

 

“You are?” Louis frowned “Wow”

 

“Why are you so shocked? You’re amazing!”

 

“Thank you” Louis bit his lip to hide the smile that wanted to arise from the innocent compliment.

 

“And if you want my number then I would be like… well, more than happy to give you it”

 

Louis snorted, it was the other guy babbling now and not himself. “Why don’t you write it down then?”

 

The younger lad nodded, turning away to search for a pen and paper, very old school. He picked up his drink to take a sip, ready to wave Liam over for a shot when he felt two hands on his waist. He stalled, ready to pick his drink up and throw it over them, thinking it was Niall.

 

He glanced over his shoulder and stilled, seeing the piercing green eyes bounding down on him and the brightest smile he had seen. Louis’ eyes widened as he turned completely to look at him, speechless.

 

“I didn’t think you were going to come” Louis said.

 

Harry chuckled lowly “Well, I’m here!” Louis wasn’t sure if he was allowed but he was drunk, so instead of standing awkwardly staring at each other, he stood on the tip of his toes and wrapped his arms around Harry to pull him in and hug him. He felt Harry’s large hands snake around his torso, holding him just as close.

 

“It’s so good to see you” Louis whispered against his shoulder with a smile “I’ve missed you on set”

 

“You’re drunk… You missed me?”

 

“Yes!” Louis nodded, pulling back. His hands holding onto Harry’s forearms “It’s so quiet without you”

 

“I would think you’d be happy about that?”

 

“Nope! Not at all”

 

Harry tilted his head, smiling softly down at Louis and Louis was mesmerised in him. It may have been the alcohol but he looked beautiful. So truly beautiful. Harry’s soft eyes soon turned into a frown, gazing over his shoulder “What’s wrong?”

 

“There’s a boy behind the bar staring at us”

 

Louis remembered, widening his eyes. He pulled back completely and turned back to the bar, the boy was standing there innocently waiting. It was a good thing no one knew about Harry’s sexuality or this could have been taken completely different.

 

“Is that for me?” Louis asked, nodding towards the ripped piece of paper in the lads hand. He nodded and passed it over to him.

 

“My names Ezra by the way”

 

“Thank you” Louis said, shoving the paper into his pocket. He glanced up at him with a smile “I’ll give you a text some time”

 

“I’ve got to go and do my job, but don’t forget to actually text me” He laughed.

 

Louis nodded and waved a short goodbye, he reached for his drink to take another sip and gazed at Harry was now sat on the stool beside him looking down.

 

“I’m glad you came” Louis gulped his drink, gazing at him with innocent eyes.

 

“It looks like I interrupted something…” Harry snorted.

 

“No, it’s harmless” Louis shrugged. “You’re the one who told me to not let work control my life”

 

“I did, didn’t I?”

 

“Yes. Now, Liam’s nowhere to be seen. So have his drink and take a shot with me!”

 

“You’re going to be ridiculously hungover on set tomorrow” Harry snorted, accepting the shot glass.

 

“And hopefully I’ll get you drunk enough that you will be too so I’m not alone” Louis smiled brightly, holding the glass to his lips. He waited for Harry and they took it together, both grimacing at the taste.

 

“Getting me drunk, how unprofessional” Harry said, wiping his mouth the back of his hand. He took a sip of the other drink to hide the taste of Tequila.

 

“I would hardly say this friendship has been professional from the start Harry. Why change it?”

 

Harry nodded slowly “I missed you too, you know”

 

“I said I missed you on the set” Louis challenged.

 

Harry shook his head “I know. And I missed you. Being around you, you know?”

 

“Have I won you over, Harry Styles?” Louis gasped.

 

“I’m afraid so. Turns out I don’t hate you as much as I thought” Harry teased.

 

“I’m honoured to be on the very small list of people you can nearly tolerate, Harry, really I am”

 

“I mean, I’ve shared a bed with you a few times, I don’t do that with people I hate” Harry spoke lowly, just in case anyone heard.

 

Louis smiled into his drink “You’re quite the cuddler”

 

“I’m quite fond of you being in bed with me”

 

Louis tilted his head, the top of his lips turning at the statement. He didn’t know what to say. He just carried on the way he was going and downed the drink he had in his glass,it was better than thinking about everything.

 

At some point, Louis and Harry has separated and Louis was currently dancing with James Corden to Uptown Funk, he was so aware of all the cameras that were videoing him make a mockery of himself but he was enjoying himself too much to care. He and James had been dancing for fifteen minutes and he was sweating like a lunatic, he had already lost his very expensive suit jacket somewhere along the way.

 

“You’re insane, Tommo” James laughed wildly, patting him on the back. “You’ve got to come on my show”

 

“Me? Yeah why not, fuck it”

 

“Dance off, for sure” James winked.

 

Eventually James left him and then quite a few others left and it seemed like it was only him dancing, that was when he knew he was wildly drunk beyond his imagination right now. The last time he looked at the clock it was midnight which meant he was definitely out later than he should have been, he knew they had to be up early and on the road tomorrow morning but the bloody alcohol induced brain he had going on right now was telling him to stay.

 

So he did. It wasn’t until he was beyond dehydrated and tired that he finally stopped, he hunted around the room for his friends until he found them sitting in their booth, all eyes staring at him and giggling amongst each other.

 

Louis stormed that way, eyeing the empty seat beside Harry. He turned up the booth and grinned at them, he slid along the seats until he was practically sat on top of Harry’s lap, his leg was over Harry’s thigh.

 

“Hi guys” Louis greeted, grabbing the drink in Niall’s hand “Great night, right? Such a good time!”

 

“You had a wild night it seems” Liam laughed.

 

“You’re trending on Twitter because of your dance with James, you accidentally elbowed David Beckham in the face, fell off a bar stool and got the barman’s number” Niall recited, grabbing his drink back “I’d say you’ve had a hell of a night”

 

“Are you drunk?” Louis mused towards Harry, ignoring Niall completely.

 

“Why?” Harry asked, furrowing his brows. He sat back against the booth, swinging an arm around the back of Louis. “Are you trying to get me drunk?”

 

“No… Yes, I am… I think?” Louis drunkenly mumbled “Are you?”

 

“I’m rather drunk, yes. Not quite as much as you”

 

Louis nodded, propping his other leg over Harry’s thigh, he wasn’t even sure what was going on with him any more. He wasn’t thinking like he usually did, over thinking everything he said and did. So he just let his body do what it wanted and took it in his stride. Harry’s hand moved onto Louis’ thigh and he glanced below his lashes to look at it.

 

“If you two are going to start fucking in the booth then please tell me before so I can get as far away as possible” Niall stated, glaring at the two of them.

 

“Don’t know what you mean” Harry said, throwing the arm from on the back of the chair onto Louis’ shoulders pulling him until he was sat on his lap.

 

“You’re disgusting” Niall gagged.

 

Louis sat back, shuffling until was quite literally sat on his crotch - he was very well behaved, aware that there was still quite a few people floating around the venue and that his best friends were sat literally right next to them. Oh, and of course because it was Harry. But Harry’s arms snaked around Louis’ waist and pulled him back, he lent his back against Harry’s chest. It was so normal to him, so natural. It was strange.

 

“Finish your drinks” Liam said with a sigh, gazing up at the clock beside a massive picture of Nial. “I’m going up to bed and I think you should all do the same”

 

They all agreed, even Louis who was disappointed.

 

They said their goodbyes to the people who were left, thanking the bar staff for their help and the hosts. It was already silently agreed that Harry would be in Louis’ room that night, there was no question to be asked, everyone was aware of the fact.

 

They all stood in the elevator, Niall yawning, Liam lent against the back wall. And Louis was as still and straight as anything, he was fighting the thoughts in his head when it came to sharing a bed with Harry.

 

The elevator bell rang and the doors opened to his floor and both he and Harry stepped out, Louis turned back to the other two boys to say goodbye.

 

“Have fun tonight boys” Niall winked.

 

“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do” Liam snorted.

 

Louis rolled his eyes and turned his back to them “They’re idiots” He mumbled, leading a silent Harry through the length of the hallway to his room.

 

Louis shuffled around in his pocket, fighting the fabric until he pulled his keycard from it. “Ah Ha!” He grinned, he held it against the lock until it turned green and he barged the door open with a boastful laugh.

 

He walked into the mansion of a room, pretending to bow to his ‘peasants’. He stood in the middle of the living area and turned to Harry “Welcome to my castle, peasant. You should feel privileged to be within my company”

 

“Oh, I do” Harry said, a sincere smile across his face.

 

“This is my humble abode, please don’t touch the fabric, it’s worth more than your bank balance” Louis winked, falling back onto one of the sofas with a giggle.

 

Harry cocked a brow as a smirk appeared “You’re enjoying this, aren’t you? You do realise my bank balance is worth ten times what that sofa costs”

 

“Stop ruining my fun” He pouted, crossing his arms over his chest. “Carry on and I’ll have you beheaded”

 

“Of course, your highness” Harry said with a bow.

 

Louis smiled up at him from his seat on the couch, Harry was stood so awkwardly in the room almost as if he was nervous which meant he definitely wasn’t as drunk as he has been before. Louis frowned at him and patted the empty seat beside him “Sit down, weirdo”

 

Harry was hesitant, but he shrugged his shoulders and did it anyway. He fell back beside him, leaning his head back on the back of the sofa.

 

“How come you arrived so late?”

 

“I had PR with Kendall to do” Harry sighed, dropping his head to stare at his hands.

 

“Ah” And Louis’ heart dropped a little at that. He knew it was part of his life but every time he knew Harry was out pretending, it hurt him. “I didn’t want to come… I only decided I was okay with it when I heard you might be coming”

 

Harry breathed a laugh, turning his head “Really?”

 

“Yep” Louis nodded, not completely believing it either. “I’ve missed you, haven’t I?”

 

“I thought it was me on the set you missed?”

 

Louis pondered, smiling as he pretended to think over the answer “I guess I did kinda miss you too”

 

“You’re unbelievable” Harry laughed.

 

Louis hummed, staring into Harry’s eyes. It was one of those rare soft moments they had, when they were in their own bubble, no one could distract them. Louis found that this was happening more and more with every moment he spent with him. It was becoming an issue. But at this very moment it was beyond an issue. Harry’s eyes pulled from Louis’ and gazed down at his hands again,

 

Louis couldn’t describe what came over him, whenever he was around Harry he had no way to begin to explain the way his head went into double time and all logical thinking washed away. But that’s the thing with Harry, it wasn’t logical and it never made sense. So that explained his next move.

 

Louis took the plunge - he took a deep breath and made the move. He didn’t think about it as he moved on the sofa, he found himself crawling over Harry until he was seated on top of him, thighs either side of his legs. Harry stilled, his hands floating either side of Louis, not too sure what to do with them. Louis reached his hands up and they pushed their way around Harry’s neck, one moved up to lace into Harry’s lose curls. He gazed down at him and admired how innocent and stilled he was.

 

“What are you doing?” Harry whispered, his hands laying on Louis’ thighs.

 

“I know that this is a bad idea” Louis drawled, his voice husky and breathless. “I also know it complicates a lot of things…”

 

“It does do that, yes” Harry nodded, reaching a hand up to stroke Louis’ cheek.

 

“But there’s something about you Harry Styles” His voice was small, lost in his eyes. “You’re you and I’m me and that’s not something that’ll work and I know being impossibly attached to someone I work with is so wrong and everything is telling me to not get involved but…”

 

“But?”

 

“I can’t help myself” Louis admitted, through a smile “you’re quite addictive”

 

“Addictive? That’s a new one” Harry teased. “And why are you telling me all of this? What is it you want?”

 

Louis shrugged, he inched forward to leave a barely there, haste kiss against Harry’s lips. He stayed close, his eyes closed and breathed out “I want you”

 

“Louis…” Harry groaned. His arms reached around Louis’ waist, pulling him so they were chest to chest and his lips found Louis’. It was a mixed taste of alcohol and hunger, all at once.

 

His lips fought to part Louis’ mouth and their tongues collided. Louis shivered under Harry’s touch and was completely mesmerised in this moment.

 

“You’re too good for me” Harry mumbled against Louis’ lips, leaning to kiss all over his face. “You shouldn’t be giving me the time of day”

 

“Hush” Louis whispered, placing a finger over Harry’s lips. “You’re more than enough for me. Right now all I want is you, just you and me”

 

Harry kissed the tip of Louis’ finger and glanced up at him “I can do that, that’s something I can do”

 

Harry shifted his body, grasped at Louis’ side and held him up as he stood to his feet. Louis’ lips were on Harry’s neck and collarbone bone as Harry walked them through to the bed room, sucking and licking on the bare skin that he could find. He remembered the passion from Harry from last time, sex with him was a feeling that was indescribable. It rubs off onto Louis’ turning him needy and whiny for his attention.

 

They reach the bedroom and Harry walked them over to the ridiculous four post bed, he stopped at the end and dropped Louis down with a smirk. Harry dropped his suit jacket from his body, discarding it on the floor and kicked his shoes off somewhere. He grabs Louis’ by his ankles and pulls him closer, he hovered over him and moulded his hot lips against Louis’ again. “You don’t know how much I’ve wanted to do this again” He moaned against Louis’ neck.

 

Louis’ head lent back as Harry’s mouth marked the skin beneath his ear, a content moan forcing to escape his lips. He wrapped his legs around Harry’s torso and wrestled to turn them around, so he was straddling him again. He attacked his mouth, quite literally, he bit and sucked at his bottom lip, adoring the way Harry sounded when a moan escaped him. He unbuttoned his shirt and his lips followed the trail his fingers left behind, he discards it somewhere else in the room. He sat on top of Harry, grinding down naturally to feel something. His fingers worked at his own shirt, quickly unbuttoning it until he was able to throw it in the same direction as Harry’s.

 

Harry’s hands reach up to squeeze at his sides, he was biting down onto his bottom lip as he gazed up at Louis and the lustful look on his eyes near melted him. Louis’ hands dig into Harry’s lustful thick locks and pulls gently on the loose curls to watch the way Harry’s lips fell open and his eyes closed.

 

“You’re going to kill me” Harry growled.

 

Louis slid down onto Harry’s thighs and his fingers started working on the fasten to his trousers, wanting to scold him for wearing such awkward clothing when they both knew this was probably going to happen tonight.

 

“Why are they so fucking difficult” Louis whined, he was too worked up for the effort. He tapped Harry’s side to urge him lift himself and he obliged, Louis yanked the material across his thighs and down to his ankles and Harry kicked them onto the floor. Louis stood at the end of the bed and stripped himself of his dress trousers and his boxers without a second thought.

 

Harry sat up on the end, his hand stroking himself slowly as he gazed at Louis. “Fuck, Louis you should see yourself right now”

 

“Wait” Louis said, stopping mid pounce. “I don’t… I don’t have anything”

 

“I do” Harry said, nodding towards a bag on the floor. He must have came in earlier to drop it off.

 

“A bit confident weren’t you?” Louis teased, grabbing the bag. He pulled out a bottle of lube and a condom and threw them onto the bed beside Harry.

 

“Come here” Harry said.

 

Louis took no time in returning to his spot on Harry’s lap, Harry pushed himself back on the bed and as his cock rubbed gently across Louis, shivers were sent across his body at the sensitive sensation. Louis moans, his lips falling back onto Harry’s in a mess of desire.

 

Harry’s hand was doing something else at this time, Louis knew what it was and he could feel his heart racing at the thought. The bottle cap flicked open and the the sound of the liquid pouring out. He keeps his lips attached to Harry’s as he feels the hesitant finger at his entrance and then, a middle finger slides in and out, so slow and intense, Louis finds himself grinding back into it so he can feel the burn. He forgot how thick and long Harry’s fingers felt inside him, even more so when there was two of them in him, scissoring his hole to open him.

 

“Oh” Louis moaned against Harry’s ear, his hot breath against the sensitive skin. And Harry swears “Fuck” at the sound and that’s when a third finger joins the others and Louis’ head flys back. It was an indescribable feeling, having a finger up your arse. In pornos they make it the sexiest thing ever and anyone who hadn’t experienced it first hand thought it was exactly that. However, the burn and the unknown sensation was like no other.  It wasn’t the most comfortable experience, but Louis liked the way Harry sounded and if he was lucky enough, Harry would find that sweet spot and Louis could really revel in the feel.

 

“Do you like that?” Harry asks, hot breath against his cheek “This is only for me, just me, yeah?”

 

“Shit. Yes, Harry, just for you love. No one else, just you” Louis chanted, his breath unsteady as he relaxed into the feeling and began to enjoy it more. “So good”

 

Harry hummed happily, his lips sucking on the skin of Louis’ collarbone as his fingers tortured him, endless moans escaping from his lips. Louis was lost in a mix of sensations, searching for more as he grinded back against his fingers.

 

“Harry, Harry, Harry” Louis chanted.

 

That’s all he could think. Harry. Harry’s hands, Harry’s body, Harry inside him, Harry around him. It was all so intense all at once and he lived for it.

 

And they do have sex, it’s raw and full of want. Harry fucks him with Louis’ on his back, lost in each other, changing a load of stolen words for just the two of them to hear. And Louis is lost, within it all. And when Harry comes, he thinks the sound he makes is the sexiest noise he had ever heard in his life.  So vulnerable and private and Louis gets to hear his name follow with it.

 

Louis was fucked both literally and mentally.

 

Harry Styles was ruining him.

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter song recommendations I listened to whilst writing. Recommend listening while reading! 
> 
> Petit Biscuit - Waterfall (ft Panama)  
> Rudimental - Walk Alone (Ft Tom Walker)   
> James bay - Wait in line.

“You two fucked again” 

 

Louis’ head snapped as he turned to look at Niall. He had decided to accompany him and Harry into work today, wanting to see how it was coming along. But as soon as they were inside, Louis’ sweater was off and Harry’s scarf had disappeared. 

 

“What?” Louis snapped, looking around to make sure they were all alone. 

 

“The state of you both! How many fucking love bites is there on your neck Louis, that’s at least six. God, you two are like a couple of horny teenagers” Niall gagged “Harry, you’ve got a fucking massive one on your neck. You realise you’re filming today right? And that’s not going to go unnoticed” 

 

“Fuck” Louis cursed, turning to look at Harry. He always overdid it on the love bites when he was drunk. He should have known better to do so on the main lead actor of his movie. “Oh, that’s… yeah, shit” 

 

“It’s not going to look good you two walking in after a day off set together covered in love bites and an after sex glow about you both” Niall snorted, walking ahead “I’d get straight into makeup and sort that” 

 

They both stood in the corridor and watched Niall walk away, Louis sighed and dropped his head into his hands with a groan. “We’re fucked” 

 

“No we’re not, I can cover mine with makeup and yours won’t even be questioned” Harry shrugged “It’s no big deal. I don’t think anyone would assume we’ve fucked because you’ve got a hickey on your neck” 

 

“Ugh, I’m a drunk idiot” Louis sighed, lifting his head. “I’m sorry for making it so… big” 

 

“It’s fine” Harry smiled fondly “Worth it, wasn’t it?” 

 

Louis nodded slowly “About last night…” 

 

“Please don’t tell me you regret it already, it was your bloody idea not mine!” 

 

“No, no, no” He shook his head “I don’t regret it all. I just, I think maybe we should talk later, yeah?” 

 

“That’s never good” Harry laughed awkwardly, his hand rubbing the back of his neck. 

 

Louis laughed, looking up at the vulnerable looking boy “This is the Harry I like… Imagine having this conversation with the guy you were pretending to be with me last week, hey?” 

 

“It’s the Louis effect” He shrugged, the goofy looking smile not leaving his face. “Last night was… Well, if you meant what you said… it was amazing” 

 

“I meant it” Louis confirmed quickly, he looked over his shoulder to make sure they were alone. Once he knew, he was on his tip-toes again, his hand cupped Harry’s cheek and he pressed his lips against his. So innocent and pure. 

 

“I believe you” Harry smiled beneath his lips, he pulled Louis in and moulded his lips back around his. 

 

“Someone could see” Louis giggled, trying to escape Harry’s constant kisses attacking his lips. 

 

“Let them” 

 

“Stop” Louis strained through his laughter. He pushed Harry away playfully and stepped back. 

 

“Imagine if your little barman boyfriend could see you now, covered in marks from me” 

 

Louis nodded through a smug smile “Oh, I see. Get a bit jealous did you? That someone else was taking my attention?” 

 

“No” Harry snorted a poor defence “I just… Shut up”

 

“Idiot” Louis said, walking ahead “Go to makeup and sort your neck out. We have a long day ahead” 

 

“It’s your fault I’ve got them!” Harry shouted after him. 

 

“See ya later!” 

 

The day seemed to go well for Louis, he knew it was a late one, they were moving from set to set, a few outdoor scenes in a local park and a few in an office a few streets away. It was meant to be stressful but it wasn’t - Harry was making it all the much easier, he was complying to everything he was asked. He was getting on with the other actors, laughing at their jokes, giving Timothée a few tips and just being a delight. If he was going to be this cheery every time they had sex then Louis might as well make it a routine. 

 

Of course he knew that this was just harmless fun. It couldn’t be much more when it came to Harry and really, it had only been a couple of weeks that they had really known each other. Sure, Louis was a hopeless romantic and wanted everything to be happy and pure but in this world that was hardly a reality. He could enjoy Harry in private, the real him and that was enough for him. 

 

He just needed to get rid of those thoughts in his head telling him that he could get used to this. And as he watched Harry throw his head back in laughter, wrapped up in a big coat to keep him warm in the cold weather, his heart doubled in beats. He needed to figure out how to keep what he had with Harry separated from how he was feeling. But that might be more difficult than he hoped. 

 

Louis sat back in his directors seat, they were filming a moment between the two main characters. When they were good, when everything was easy and simple before everything crashed down on them. He was admiring the way Harry was playing the part today more than anything. 

 

“Do you think we’ll be a power couple like Beyoncé and Jay Z?” Harry’s character asked, laying back on the grass, his head rested under his forearm. 

 

“Of course. You’ll be Beyoncé and I’ll be Jay Z” 

 

“Why am I always the girl?” 

 

“Look at you” Timothée declared through a laugh. “A powerful independent woman” 

 

“Carry on and I’ll be singing Single Ladies to you” 

 

Timothée smiled, following the script as he gazed up at the night sky, Louis cues for a cameraman to move over the top of them to catch the shot of them lying side by side from a bird's eye view. 

 

“I can’t believe it’s happening” Harry whispered “We’ve been dreaming about this since we were kids” 

 

“I know” 

 

“And I get to do it all with you. You don’t think it’ll change anything do you? Between us?” 

 

Timothée frowned, turning on his side to lean on his elbow “Are you kidding? No way. We’re going to be stronger than ever. Nothing and nobody could change the way we feel. It’s us against the world, baby” 

 

“Always” 

 

Louis held his hand out to stop filming and stood up from his seat “That was great guys, that’s the final shoot for the day. Well done. It’s a day off for everyone tomorrow, so I want you all to take a well deserved break. We have a nine day week next week, some of the more crucial and hard scenes to perform. So prepare yourself” 

 

“Louis” Timothée shouted, sitting up on the grass. 

 

“Yeah?” 

 

“Do you think on Monday you could go through one of the scenes with me? I kinda wanna understand what it is you picture… I want to get it right” 

 

“Of course” Louis nodded with a smile. “We’ll sort it all out Monday. Now get your stuff together and get gone, have a bloody day off” 

 

“Thanks Lou” 

 

Louis waved and turned back to his chair, the crew hands had all rushed to set to start gathering all the equipment which meant Louis was now free as well. He grabbed his bag from beside his seat and his car keys that lay on the makeshift table beside it. He turned around to say good night to Harry but he had already ran off, he contemplated looking for him for a second but he knew he could easily text him when he got home. 

 

He said goodbye to all of them as he made his way up the grassy hill to the car park, he had his phone in hand as mindlessly scrolled through his twitter feed and mentions. It was a good but long day especially as he was sporting a very well hidden hangover. 

 

He gazed up to find his car and saw that he had parked it up towards the entrance, he shoved his phone in his back pocket and head for his car. Just as he was a few steps away, he stopped, noting Harry’s car. Which didn’t make sense, because he had jumped in the car with him and Niall. And Niall had left hours ago. He frowned and walked around the car and then he saw it. 

 

Standing by the drivers door was Harry, stood with the beard in question. The feeling Louis had in the pit of his stomach was one he had never felt before. He didn’t know what it was - a mix of anger at it all, sadness to see the girl that Harry acted so happily with. 

 

He walked past the gap between cars and hid himself behind the one next to Harry’s so he could discreetly listen in. 

 

“We need to meet tomorrow” That was Kendall’s obvious American accent. “They’ve said we need to force it a little more, there’s too many articles about you going to parties on your own with your  _ friends _ ” 

 

“It’s my only day off for another nine days” Harry sighed “I don’t want to do this shit on my day off” 

 

“There was a time you’d love to hang out with me” 

 

“Yeah, before it became a chore” 

 

“We can stop this, you know? We don’t have to do it” 

 

“We do. It’s my job” 

 

“It’s just getting tiring, Harry” Kendall said, Louis heard her lean against a car “Look, I’m going to get an Uber up to my hotel. I don’t know what we’re supposed to do tomorrow but we might get out of it, I’ve seen a few people with cameras take pictures of me here so that’s a narrative for them. But I’m only here for a couple days and then I need to get back to LA, I’ve got too much on” 

 

“We’ll meet up after shooting next week” 

 

“Are you okay, H? You seem more out of it than usual” 

 

“Do you ever wonder if there’s more to life?” 

 

“Than what?” 

 

“Than all of this. The fame, the attention, the money…” 

 

“I mean, those are the three things my family live off. So, I wouldn’t know any different. But, neither do you” 

 

“That’s what I mean… we’ve literally not experienced anything. Don’t you think that’s kinda sad?” 

 

Louis felt guilty for eavesdropping on their conversation, he decided to leave before he heard much more. It was a personal conversation that he wasn’t a part of. 

 

He snuck off to his car, sat himself in the driver's seat and started his engine. He shoved his bag into the back and sat for a second, his hands gripping the wheel. It was like all of a sudden it hit him, he was in too deep. 

 

He didn’t have time to reflect on the realisation, there was a knock on his window which made him jump, quite literally out of his seat. He eased when he saw it was Harry. He sighed, one hand over his heart whilst the other opened the window. 

 

“You fucking scared me!” Louis said, breathless. 

 

“Sorry” Harry smiled. “Where you going?” 

 

“I mean, it’s the end of the day. Where else could I possibly be going?” 

 

“Smart arse. Okay, what I should ask is if you wanted some company?” He asked and Louis’ heart fell. He wanted to say no, tell him it wasn’t a good idea but he couldn’t. 

 

“Sure, I won’t be much company though” 

 

“That’s fine” Harry said, already on his way around the car. He opened the door and slid himself beside him. 

 

“Eager?” Louis snorted. 

 

Louis was about to reverse but his hands were stalled as Harry reached across the space of the car and pulled Louis’ head around, his lips moulded around his in a raced kiss. Nothing hasty about it, nothing more than his lips on his but he melted into his seat and into Harry. 

 

Harry pulled back with a smile “I’ve been wanting to do that all day” 

 

“Right…” Louis breathed out. 

 

“Shall we?” 

 

Louis nodded, reversing his car out the spot “don’t you have your car here?” 

 

“Not anymore. Kendall came here, so she’s driven it back to her hotel, she’s dropping it off to me tomorrow night” He shrugged. 

 

“How is she?” Louis reluctantly asked. 

 

“She’s okay, she’s only here for a couple days” 

 

“Oh, nice” 

 

“Why? You never ask about her” 

 

“I’m just being a nice person, Harry. There’s no harm in me asking how your fake media girlfriend is” 

 

Harry frowned, he didn’t push it. He just sat back in his seat and played with Louis’ radio to find a song. 

 

Louis kept his attention on the road, mainly due to his extremely tired and straining eyes. He listened to Harry as he sang along to an Ariana Grande song, it seemed to deter his attention from the fact he was driving a vehicle through a very busy road. He didn’t really expect Harry to belt out the lyrics as if he was on karaoke or in an actual studio but boy, he did. And Louis was stunned, his eyes actually wide as he listened. 

 

“Fucking hell, Harry” Louis said, interrupting him. 

 

“What?” 

 

“You can really fucking sing. You kept that a secret didn’t you? Fucking hell, is there anything you can’t do?” 

 

“I can’t really sing… I just enjoy it” 

 

“Yeah well your voice is fucking insane” 

 

“You think?” Harry perked up. 

 

“Yes. I mean, fucking hell, thought I was stood next to a bloody speaker at full volume but your voice is so good” 

 

“Thank you” 

 

Louis changes the radio station and encouraged Harry to sing as much as he liked, it was another fifteen minutes of driving and Harry’s voice until they arrived at Louis’ apartment building. Harry followed him into it like it was second nature to him, pressing the right floor in the elevator and walking ahead of him through the hall to his apartment door. It was all too - comfortable. 

 

They had been home twenty minutes and Louis was already drawled out on the sofa, his legs on Harry’s lap and his head rested on a pillow as they indulged in episodes of Family Guy as it was the only thing on TV and the remote was too far away for Netflix. Louis didn’t mind. Family guy was his guilty pleasure. Harry wouldn’t argue, he was too polite believe it or not, to say any different. 

 

Louis wasn’t sure when the conversation was going to happen, the talk about the night before and Louis’ soft spoken drunk words and the kissing today and the subtle glances. And now the fact Harry was in his apartment, watching a shit TV show and it was as if he always belonged on the sofa. 

 

It was Harry who gave in first. Louis was laughing at some shit joke about a lobster when Harry turned to him. 

 

“Shall we talk?” 

 

Louis dreaded that. He sighed, finally reaching for the remote, he was pausing it, he needed to know what happened even though he had watched this episode at least ten times. 

 

“I think so” Louis lifted himself up, pulling his legs from Harry’s legs so he could fold them up, his arms hugging them tight to his chest. 

 

“I don’t really know what to say if I’m honest…” 

 

“I guess we should ask what the fuck is going on?” 

 

“Probably” Harry nodded. 

 

“Look, just so you know I’m not expecting anything from you. I mean, there’s the fact known each other less than a month properly and I only started seeing you for you like last week. And then there’s the whole part that you’re a closeted actor so that makes things difficult” 

 

“Well, yeah…” 

 

“And I don’t want to make your life any more difficult than it already is. You’re already going through enough shit, I would just be another thing to add to the list of things you need to keep on top of” 

 

“But…” 

 

“And like, I meant what I said. I really like the person you are when it’s just you and me, that’s the Harry I like. And the guy you were on set today, that was perfect. We barely know each other, I mean, we come from two completely different lifestyles and it makes things hard” 

 

“Louis, stop babbling on” Harry rolled his eyes, crossing his legs on the sofa. “I enjoy your company. I think you’re fantastic, you know that though. I wouldn’t want to drag you into this life of mine, that’s not fair on anyone. Especially someone like you, with a heart of gold, you don’t deserve that” 

 

“Then what is happening?” Louis asked through a sigh. “I mean, the things we’re doing… friends don’t do that. And we’ve only just bloody became friends! It just gets better every second” 

 

“Louis, why are we trying to make this any more difficult than it has to be? We’re having fun, right?” 

 

“Yeah” Louis shrugged. 

 

“We’ve established that when I’m not pissing you off or you’re not talking to me like shit, we actually get on really well, right? We’re friends. Just friends who sometimes get drunk and have sex or friends that come round for a cuddle. It’s like friends with benefits I guess” 

 

“Friends with benefits” Louis mused, he’s watched the movie and he knew where that ended. “So, we keep it simple? We get on with our job, we hang out when we want to and then that’s that?” 

 

“As simple as that” Harry nodded “I’m not saying itvto sound like a dick, I understand friends with benefits is the worst kind of way to reject someone but I’m not rejecting you…” 

 

“Harry. How can you reject me when I didn’t insinuate I wanted anything?” 

 

“Okay… Well, what I mean is, you told me relationships don’t work for you. The same goes for me. It would be unfair and stupid for me to get into one, then it’s another person who has to deal with it. It’s easier to keep it this way than get hurt further along the line” 

 

“I’m not asking for a relationship” 

 

“I know you’re not. I’m just explaining it, Louis. Despite how I felt about you to begin with, I kinda like you and I kinda like spending time with you, yeah? And I don’t want to complicate that. Because I think you’re good for me. So, I think I’m asking you to be my friend… with the occasional benefits” 

 

“Jesus Christ” Louis snorted, his hand lifting to cover his face. 

 

“Is that a yes or a no?” 

 

Louis sighed, dropping his hand. “We can see where this goes. I’m not agreeing to a label, like you said, that’s when everything goes wrong. So, let’s keep this simple and see what happens whilst we’re friends” 

 

“I can deal with that” Harry grinned widely. 

 

“Now, can I watch Family Guy now?” 

 

“Can I kiss you first?” 

 

“That escalated quick…” He was cut off by Harry’s lips, his body had moved the distance of the sofa and was currently between Louis’ legs. 

 

“I love kissing you” Harry said, reaching a hand up to brush Louis’ hair out of his face. 

 

“Funny kind of friends” Louis cocked a brow and Harry replied by grinding his body into Louis’. “Okay, I’m fine with this kind of friends” 

 

“Thought so” 

 

**** 

 

Louis and Harry had woke up in his bed that next morning in a mess of sheets and stolen kisses, Louis didn’t want him to leave. He had wrapped himself around him and clung onto him like a koala for a good twenty minutes before Harry had finally escaped his grasp. 

 

He would have loved to stay in bed all day, watching shit movies, have a horrendous amount of sex and eat junk food with Harry but he had other commitments. 

 

That was his family. 

 

He hadn’t seen them in so long, if he didn’t see them soon his mum would most likely travel to London just to whack him around the head for being a shit son. 

 

“When will you be back?” Harry asked, sat on the sofa as he slipped his shoes on. 

 

“Late. I don’t know, why?” 

 

“Just asking” He shrugged “Kendall text me earlier, I have a PR thing with her this afternoon but after that I’m free” 

 

“Are you telling me that for a reason?” 

 

Harry rolled his eyes “You’re annoying” he shoved his foot into his second boot and glanced up “If you want, you can stay at mine tonight? Bring a bag and we can drive to work together” 

 

“You’re not due on set until like eleven though” 

 

“I’ll go in earlier… stop being difficult” 

 

“Yeah” He shrugged, putting his arms through his denim jacket. “I have to go like now though… would you mind packing a bag for me and taking it to yours? I have my clothes laid out in my closet, just shove them in” 

 

“Sure” Harry nodded. He stood, walking the distance to Louis. He slid his arms around his waist and held him close “Text me when you’re there, yeah?” 

 

“Sure, Dad” Louis said, he kissed his lips and shimmied out of his grasp. “Don’t go raiding my closet!” 

 

“There would be nothing to steal! You’re tiny” 

 

“Go fuck yourself” Louis shouted as he head for the door. 

“Bye!” 

He had a long drive to Doncaster and he had enough to think about to keep him occupied. Solely around the Harry situation. He would never have seen this coming had he looked back on it all. It was so strange how life worked, how two people could go from hating each other to not keeping their hands off each other. And not even for good reason. 

Louis had always told himself when he was growing up that sex was something that should be shared with the one you loved, the one you saw a future with. He had slept with a number of people but that was because he was a serial dater, before the career hit off. He would fall in love in minutes and then break up a month later. 

But this was different completely. He wasn’t with Harry, he didn’t want anything to do with Louis romantically, he was there for company and sex when he wanted it. That was pretty much confirmed the night before. Louis mentally slapped himself for agreeing to it, it was such a stupid idea. He couldn’t do this, not really. He couldn’t be the guy Harry wanted, he was a romantic. And Harry. He wasn’t. Which made it all the more difficult. 

He still had four and a half months working with this man in close proximity, he didn’t know what would happen once the shooting was over, he didn’t know where it would leave them at the end of it all. And he didn’t want to either. He wanted Harry close to him but he knew at the end of this, it would leave him hurt and broken and Harry would walk away with his head held high. That’s just life. He would just have to deal with it. 

When he arrived at his childhood home he was greeted by an array of screaming girls, all smiles and cheering as they all rushed him with endless arms searching for a hug. Louis laughed as he fell back, attempting to hug them all. His older sister Lottie was standing against the wall, arms crossed, suddenly too cool to be excited to see her big brother. 

“Alright; Alright” Louis said, pushing them off him. “It’s lovely to see you as well” 

“We missed you Lou!” His youngest sister said. 

“I missed you all too” He said, ruffling her hair “Now let me get up or I’ll be too broken to get home” 

“This is home” Lottie said. “London isn’t your home. 

Louis stood up and gazed at her oldest younger sister and laughed, he held his arms out for a good minute or so before she gave in and went in for the cuddle. 

“How’ve you been?” Louis asked. 

“Same as ever” She shrugged.

“Exciting life that you live. Now where’s my mother?” 

“She’s in the garden. She doesn’t know you’re here yet. I’m going out, I’ve got a date” 

Louis stilled, staring at her sister with a frown “I’ve been home five minutes and you’re ditching me? And what do you mean you have a date?” 

“I meant what I said… anyway, I’ll be back before you leave” She shrugged, grabbing her coat from the hook. 

“You’re not old enough to date!” 

“I’m seventeen” 

“That’s exactly my point!” 

“See you later Louis” She snorted. 

Louis frowned, turning to his younger siblings and they all just shrugged and ran away into their playroom. He had been home five minutes and all of his siblings had left him already. 

“How loved I am” Louis mumbled to himself under a laugh. 

He walked the corridor to the dining room that backed out into their garden, he stepped over the countless toys that lay around the floor. He gazed out of the back door window, his mother was outside hanging clothes out to dry. He stood there for a moment or two before his mum caught a glimpse of him and dropped a T-Shirt from her hands into the grass. 

“Louis!” She shouted. 

Louis laughed, opened the door and stepped out to greet her. Once she had reached him, she pulled him in for the best kind of mum hug possible - exactly what he needed. 

“Oh, darling. It’s so good to see you” 

“You too, mum” He said, kissing the top of her head. “Shall we have a cuppa?” 

Louis sat across from his mum on the sofa, a tea in hand as he slowly drank it. Nothing was better than a homemade cup of tea by his mum. Nothing. 

His mum was smiling at him warmly, her mug between both hands as she sat back on the sofa. The kids were too busy playing superheroes to join them but that was okay. Louis loves spending time with just his mum, she was his best friend above everyone else. 

“You look great sweetheart” She admired. 

“Really? Cause I look like shit, I’m tired as fuck” 

“Language!” She scolded “But, no, you don’t” 

“It’s been a tough few weeks” 

“You wouldn’t be able to tell… you’re glowing babe” 

“Thanks” Louis scoffed, leaning against the back of the sofa holding his mug on his lap. “So, how is everything at home?” 

“You’d know if you answered my calls” 

“I’ve been busy, I haven’t done it purposely. Everything has just sort of got on top of me at the minute” 

“You’ve got enough time to go out and get drunk with your friends though” She said, accusingly, hiding behind her tea. 

“Alright mum. I’ve not been the best son lately. But it has been a stressful couple weeks” 

“I was going to ask if it was anything to do with that actor everyone hates but it seems you’ve befriended him” 

Louis frowned, confused “how do you know that?” 

“Do you not go online? There has been loads of pictures of you with him, going out, on set, the two of you looking drunk and out of it… there’s so many” 

“Oh” Louis said, imagining the pictures the paps have managed to get of the two of them. And the mention of Harry reminded him to text him. 

He placed his cup down onto the coffee table and searched his pocket for his phone. 

“So, how did that happen?” 

He unlocked his phone and pressed on Harry’s name on his texts. “I don’t know, he’s actually really nice” 

 

_ I’m here ! Sorry I was distracted :)  _

He sent the quick text and turned his attention back to his mum who was staring at him knowingly. That was the annoying thing about mum’s, they could sense every thing and it was so hard to keep secrets from them. 

“What?” Louis asked through a sigh, he placed his phone beside him on the sofa. 

“What’s going with you and the actor, Louis?” 

“Nothing” 

“Louis…” 

“I mean it, nothing is going on” He shrugged “Nothing can happen. We’re just friends, that’s all” 

“Oh really? So… those marks on your neck? Did they just appear” 

Louis froze, he forgot all about them, he slapped his hand up to his neck to hide them “They could be from anyone” 

“Sure” 

“We’re just friends mum!” 

“And that’s all you want from him?” 

“Yeah” Louis drawled. “I mean, it’s difficult, innit? All this fame and shit, it makes things harder than it should be. You can’t do anything without someone watching you. It’s easier to keep it simple” 

“How long have you know him now?” 

“A few weeks, I guess. But for some reason it seems like longer, you know? But like it shouldn’t. He’s an actor on the movie I’m creating. I shouldn’t be doing anything other than what’s professional” 

“You can’t help how things work out sometimes, boo. That’s just life. Things happen, the way you feel clouds over any hesitance you have” His Mum said, sipping her tea. “Hypothetically speaking, what is it that’s holding anything back?” 

“Honestly? The job” He sighed, he didn’t expect this when he decided to visit today. “He’s an actor. There seems like there’s a lot behind that. Also, I don’t know if you knew but he’s currently  _ dating _ Kendall Jenner” 

“Yeah, sure” His mum scoffed “That boy is definitely not with her. Every picture they have together he’s looking somewhere else, he looks like he’d rather be anywhere else but with her. Especially lately, but I imagine there’s a reason for that” 

“Mum… There’s not anything happening. And there never will be. It couldn’t and won’t work” 

“I just don’t believe that. I’m sorry but I’m a hopeless romantic and so are you, you know fine well that fate works in mysterious ways. However you are feeling for him at the moment, it might not make sense right now but it will. And if he feels the same, it’ll hit you both when you least expect it” 

“This isn't a fairytale Mum. Life’s shit. You’ve just got to learn to deal with it. Things like that don’t happen” 

“I wouldn’t be so sure” 

He doesn’t even know why he had to have that conversation. He and Harry has agreed to keep feelings out of it completely but if Louis was falling for the stern eyed actor, what could he do? 

Louis’ drive home was difficult, he hated how his mind had been consumed with the thought of Harry. It just made it all the more difficult to deal with what was really going on. He was a grown up, he knew that he could walk away from it and save himself the trouble but he also knew that he could do this and walk away without a broken heart. He didn’t have to play the whole fairytale card. It was about time he realised that things aren’t told like a story. 

Louis mum had told him about how much of a fairytale it was when it came to his dad, she thought it would be the happy ever after she had always hoped for. But it never ended that way, she spoke about how it just eventually fell apart day by day - the love just fading. He wasn’t sure what relevance it had towards his situation but he would figure it out eventually. 

He arrived on Harry’s street and parked his car at the side to avoid being seen. He grabbed his phone from the seat beside him and head to the back door, he hadn’t been here before but those were the instructions that Harry had text him. He carefully opened the back door into the pitch black kitchen and gazed in. 

“Harry?” He shouted as he stepped in, closing the door behind him. 

He used his phone’s flashlight to walk through the kitchen until he reached the lit up hallway. He heard the sound of music playing from one of the doors to the left of him, he flicked his shoes off into the direction of where all the others were and head for it. 

He opened the door cautiously, slowly peeking his head through the crack and almost laughed. 

Standing in the middle of the living room was Harry, dressed in the softest cotton pyjama bottoms and a hoodie that hung on his thighs. Behind him was a bunch of cushions scattered on the floor, candles on the side tables and a ridiculous pile of snacks on the coffee table. He walked into the room and laughed at the sight, he wasn’t expecting this when he came tonight. 

“Wow” Louis praised, biting back his smile. 

“What do you think?” Harry gestured behind him. 

“Impressive” 

Harry grinned, his hands holding onto the sleeves of his jumper “I thought you could do with some chill time. And I thought, what could be better than lying about in a mountain of cushions, watching shit movies with your favourite actor” 

“Favourite actor?” Louis tilted his head. 

“Well, soon to be favourite actor” 

“That’s more like it” 

“Come on” Harry said, falling back into the cushions with a boisterous laugh. 

Louis couldn’t help himself, he shrugged off his jacket and jumped after him, he rolled about in the cushions as he tried to sit himself up. Harry grabbed him at the waist and rolled them both around until he could position himself on top of Louis “Hey” 

“Hey, you” Louis admired, glancing up at Harry’s eyes focused on his own. “Is this something you do a lot? Build dens of cushions and roll about in it?” 

“Not really” He said, shifting himself up on his elbow while his other hand brushed Louis’ hair back. “I always wanted to do it when I was younger but mum said the cushions were too expensive. Thought I’d do it with you” 

“How cute”

“You look so refreshed” Harry admired, smiling down at the older boy. “Did you have a nice time?” 

“I’ll tell you once you get for me and I can breathe again” 

Harry realised, laughing as he shifted his weight from Louis and fell to the side. He lay on his side, leaning up on his elbow. Louis let out a relieved breath as he caught it once again, no longer squashed by the taller lad. 

“Sorry” 

Louis sighed and turned to face Harry. “It was really good. I miss my mum a lot, I didn’t realise until I saw her today. She’s like my best friend, we just sat and spoke for hours” 

“Tell her all about the movie?” 

Louis nodded “Yeah, she could tell I was stressed I think. Although she told me I’m glowing” he laughed, leaning up on his elbow. “I just wish she lived closer, it’s too difficult to find the time to go and see her. Oh! And my sisters dating, can you bloody believe that?” 

Harry snorted “How old is she?” 

“Seventeen! She’s bloody seventeen” 

“And that’s an issue? C’mon Lou, you can’t tell me that you weren’t messing about at that age” 

“Yes but i'm different. She’s my little sister” Louis defended “She’s too young” 

“Alright, Whatever you say. So you and your mum, what did you talk about?” 

“Just… everything” He said, nonchalantly. “We just spoke about the kids, how they’re getting on at school. How she’s doing at work, you know, stuff” 

Harry nodded, obviously not wanting to push anymore. He was more than aware that Louis probably would have spoken about him today, it was only natural.

“What did you get up to today?” 

“Me and Kendall went on a PR walk on Oxford Street, I was hounded by fans, it was manic. So unnecessary” 

“How long is Kendall here for?” 

“She leaves tonight. Which means I’m free now until the end of filming, they can use the narrative that I’ve been too busy with work and she has too, she’s got loads of catwalk shows lined up anyway” 

Louis rolled his eyes uncontrollably “Yeah” 

“What are you rolling your eyes at? Are you jealous of Kendall?” Harry snorted. 

Louis shook his head “Nope. I just find the whole situation ridiculous. All the pretending and acting, it’s just kind of pathetic” 

“I mean… Pathetic. Thanks, Lou” Harry frowned. 

“Not you, your management. You know my mum doesn’t even believe your relationship? She asked me about you and said that it’s the most unverifiable thing she has ever seen. It’s like watching someone hold their Grandma’s hand. Not the person your meant to be in love with” 

“Wow… so this means you and your mum spoke about me then? What did you say? Did you tell her how you get lost in my eyes and you’re undeniably in love with me?” 

Louis rolled his eyes again. “Right. What movie we watching?” 

“Ah, Ah… tell me what you said!” 

“I really would love to watch Love Actually. It’s been in my head since you mentioned it” Louis deterred the conversation, he sat himself up on the cushions and lent against the back of Harry’s sofa. 

“Yes! My favourite!” 

Louis snorted, watching an excited overgrown toddler scatter across the cushions for his xbox remote to navigate on Netflix. He grabbed a blanket from the sofa and pulled it over himself, leaving some beside him for Harry to join him.  

Maybe he could do this. He didn’t need to complicate it. 

“I hope you’re ready to witness the best movie ever made” Harry winked, pressing play. 

He definitely could. As long as things stayed like this. 


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter song recommendations I listened to whilst writing. This one was tough. Here’s a few songs I listened to as a way to help me concentrate. 
> 
> Billie Ellish - When the party’s over.   
> Plested - Worth of you.   
> Callum Scott - you are the reason.   
> James Arthur - You deserve better.   
> Lukas Graham - You’re not there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Suicide scene from the fictional movie is being played in this chapter. No actual suicide, but attempts.

“That’s a wrap on that scene” Louis said, clapping his hands along with the cast “thank you all for your hard work. We’ll be focusing on the main characters personal scenes now. So please feel free to head off home and have a well deserved chilled day” 

 

He sat back on his seat, waving as some of the cast left the set. They were currently filming in the same location but with two separate sets, one had been for a filler and the next for Harry’s most crucial. 

 

Harry’s next scene was going to be set beside on a bridge, they decided against the standard London Bridge and found one in a quieter location to avoid anyone catching on to the scene. Louis had not seen Harry all morning, he had been locked away in his trailer in hair and makeup and rehearsing his lines like his life depended on it. He was due on set at any moment and Louis was nervous, this was the scene they had been avoiding performing, ensuring Harry had enough time to really prepare for it. The meeting was great, but it was emotional more than anything - Louis and Harry had both thought about it for days after, which pushed for Louis decision to push back the scene for today. A week later than arranged. 

 

The scene was simple enough but it needed to be portrayed in such a way it was as believable as possible, everyone on that set needed to believe it, if they didn’t, then the audience watching the movie wouldn’t either. It was a lot of pressure on Harry. Louis had been to his house again last night and he had just watched Harry frantically walk around his room half naked whilst reciting the lines of the script. He could feel how tense and stressed he was about it especially when he had convinced to eventually get into bed where he lay as straight as anything and stared up at the ceiling for hours. 

 

It was a tough one. For everyone. 

 

Louis was sipping his tea, glancing at the programme for today when Harry eventually appeared. Louis mouth fell open at his appearance, the hot tea in his mouth dripping down onto his lap. 

 

Harry had been completely changed. His normal beautiful brown locks of curls were now matted and stuck across his head, messy and stressed. His face wasn’t as flawless and young, the makeup team must have worked for hours to even attempt to make him look any less perfect than he usually did. The circles around his eyes were quite literally black, not too the point it looked unrealistic but enough so that it was evident. They had even managed to change his skin tone and features, he looked tired, drained and worn out. 

 

Harry’s clothes were another thing. He had the dirtiest cotton jogging bottoms of his legs, there was holes building around the legs. His plain black T-Shirt was ripped, stains covering the chest and frayed at the bottom. If Louis didn’t know that this was for a character then he would have broke at the sight. 

 

It was only internally that it hurt him. It was all so close to home. The situation and the character. He just imagined Harry, the real Harry, as broken and numb and it scared him. To imagine things getting so bad that he would ever find himself in a situation like this. 

 

He shook the idea from his head and gazed up at Harry once he had reached him, he stood in front of him and held his hands out, showing off the look. 

 

“You look fucking terrible” 

 

“Thanks” Harry snorted, trying to itch his nose without ruining the makeup. 

 

“How you feeling?” Louis asked, placing his programme onto his lap. 

 

Harry shrugged “I don’t know. Nervous, I guess. I just don’t want to fuck this up. I’m hoping we can do one take and that’ll be it. I don’t want to keep reliving it” 

 

“Let's hope we can get this done as quickly as possible” 

 

“You’re not gonna stay here are you? Will you… You know, like come up onto the bridge? I’ll feel a bit more comfortable with you around” 

 

Louis wanted to hold his hand, he wanted to grab him and kiss him, he wanted to hold him so tight and tell him not to worry and that it would all be okay. But he couldn’t, because his life was the exact same as the character. Hiding away. 

 

He nodded his head “Of course I will, babe” 

 

“Babe?” Harry quickly retorted, cocking a brow “that’s new. But yeah, okay, thank you” 

 

“Come on then” Louis sighed, grabbing his megaphone as he stood to his feet. “Let’s get this over with” 

 

Harry nodded and reluctantly followed. 

 

They walked side by side up the grassy hill towards the bridge, stepping over the small stream that they would edit int a much larger lake. The crew were all set up, multiple cameras on the bridge, a few hanging over it, some looking up from the water. It was one of their more complex scenes. 

 

Once they reached the top they were greeted by the actor who would be in the scene along with Harry, it was his only one but it was a big role to play. Almost key to a lot of the story. He and Harry had been working on their lines together when they first came in this morning. 

 

“Hi!” Louis greeted, shaking his hand “You ready?” 

 

The man nodded and clapped Harry on the back “What about you?” He asked. “Ready?” 

 

“I mean, I’ve got no choice. We’re doing it now” 

 

The actor laughed “That’s right, kiddo! Show time!” 

 

Louis and Harry frowned at his cheeriness as he walked off to get himself into position. Maybe it was just the two of them who were finding it hard, everyone else seemed fine by it all. 

 

“Just remember what we heard, yeah? The pain in his voice as he opened up about it. Remember to place yourself into his shoes, okay?” 

 

“I know” Harry nodded. “It’s my lines I’m worried about. I’ll be too focused on trying to make it perfect” 

 

“Don’t. Just live in the moment, yeah? As hard as it is, imagine it’s you. I know that’s a horrible thing to say but to make this real, you have to. Think about why you would want to do it, think about the one thing that hurts so much that you feel like you can’t carry on. I want you to feel it Harry, really feel it” 

 

“You can count on me, don’t worry” 

 

“I know I can” Louis smiled fondly. “You’re amazing, you are going to do it justice” 

 

“Thank you, Lou” 

 

“Now go on…” Louis ushered him away, not wanting to get too caught up in the moment. He stepped back, addressing everyone now “Right, places everyone, can someone get Harry strapped into the harness please and have him on the bridge” 

 

“I better not fall off. I don’t wanna go bungee jumping” 

 

“Shut up” Louis snorted, literally shoving him in the direction of the men waiting for him on the bridge. 

 

Harry reluctantly walked off, leaving Louis to wait for his assistant to bring his chair up. He was too tired to stand, too tired but definitely too lazy. 

 

Eventually, once his chair had reached the top and Harry as in place, Louis sat back and got himself ready. 

 

“Okay… everyone in place? On my count we’re going to start, please make sure not to make too much noise, I don’t want to have to edit this scene at all, it needs to be raw” Louis spoke into megaphone. He glanced towards Harry, silently asking if he was okay. Once Harry nodded, he got ready. “Cameras ready? Cast ready? On the count of three… one, two…” he sighed and then whispered “three” 

 

The camera lights turned red and the actors began. 

 

Louis was indulged. 

 

Harry walked slowly onto the bridge, tears escaping down his face. He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand and continued his walk, there was no sound, no one talking, just Harry. Louis watched as Harry approached the edge of the bridge once he had reached the middle. His hands gripped onto the railing, he crouched down with his hands still attached lent his head on the metal. 

 

Louis watched as Harry silently stood himself up, his face emotionless. He held onto the railing, he used it to perch a leg over, his arms shaking as he did, then his other. He was exhaling deep breaths, scared and conflicted. He slowly turned himself around to face out, his arms and legs shaking as he did - he wasn’t sure whether it was real or not. 

 

Harry held onto the railings, the camera focusing on the tight grip he had, his knuckles white. Harry breathed out, gazing at the high drop below him. 

 

“I can do this; I can do this, I can do this” He chanted beneath his excessive breathing. 

 

He stayed like that for around five minutes, simply shaking and holding his grip. Telling himself “I need to” over and over again, his character arguing with itself.

 

“Okay” Harry said, closing his eyes. He pulled one of his hands off the railings, his hands shaking like crazy as it did. He then let his other hand follow. 

 

One of his legs hung out in the air, his character finding the actual confidence to do it. His character wanted to do this. The character felt like it was what he needed to do. 

 

As he braced himself, ready to jump a voice called out from the actor “Hey, hey!” 

 

Harry panicked, his body wobbling on the ledge of the bridge, he gripped the bars again, holding himself up. He shook wildly as he turned to look at the actor approach him slowly, his hands out in defence as he did. 

 

“What you doing, man? Hey, aren’t you that guy from that band?” He asked. 

 

“Please” He choked out, turning to face the floor below him again. “Just go” 

 

“I won’t, if you don’t mind. Look, how about you hop over this side and we have a chat, yeah?” 

 

“No, please go, I can’t… I need you to leave” 

 

“We can talk about whatever you want, okay? Just come over that railing and we can sort this all out” 

 

“No!” Harry snapped, tears streaming down his face “No one can do anything. There is no helping this. This is the only way to get it to stop” 

 

“Get what to stop?” The man asked, cautiously taking a step forward. 

 

“Everything! Fucking everything! I don’t want to pretend anymore, I don’t want to hide who I am, I just want to be fucking free… but I can’t! This is the only way” 

 

“I don’t think it is. Look, I know you don’t know me but I can promise you that things can be fixed, there is always a way out… We can do that, yeah? Find a way to help” 

 

“There isn’t a way out” His voice cracked, turning to look at the actor “You don’t understand! No one fucking does. No one gets how fucking hard this, to live every day hiding who I am. To be fucking forced to! I can’t do it anymore, I just can’t… it’s not fucking fair” 

 

“This won’t solve it. You think you’re alone? You think you’re the only one who knows how it feels to hit rock bottom? I can promise you, you’re not mate. No matter how shit is now, how hard you’re finding it, there’s always a way out. You just need to find it” 

 

“This. This is my way out” 

 

“No, I don’t think it is. Have you thought about the people you would be hurting? Your family? Your friends and all of those fans you have? You have thousands of people who love and support you and you would rip their hearts out of you did this and you know it” 

 

“But what about me? What about how I feel?” 

 

“Feelings change! Things don’t always stay the same. But if you do this, you’ll be leaving the ones you love to suffer for years, the ache in their chest would be there every day, knowing you’re not here anymore. How is that fair? We can get you help, you don’t need to go through this alone” 

 

“But… I am alone. No one will ever understand how this feels, there’s no one who can physically sympathise with the constant pain I have. No one. I just… it would make people’s lives easier if I was out the picture. They could carry on with their life, be successful, be who they want” 

 

“What? One person? You think your life is worth taking for someone else? Come on now, you’re a clever lad, you know better than this…” 

 

“Do I? Because I’m not even sure what I know, I’m just so… numb, from everything. I don’t… I don’t even know how to be me anymore, I’m the puppet, everyone else is pulling the strings and I have no say. If I don’t do this, if I carry on then I’m just forcing myself to live a life I really don’t want” 

 

“Then walk away from it… Don’t live your life to please someone else, do something for yourself. You are so young and have so much time to figure things out, experience new things and be who you need to be. But you won’t get any of that, not if you do this. And I think, deep down, you know you don’t want this” 

 

“I don’t want to but I have to” 

 

“Says who?” He asked, standing behind Harry cautiously “Who’s telling you that you have to do this?” 

 

“Well… no one” 

 

“Exactly. The only person telling you to do this is your mind and you need to distance yourself from that. What if you did it, hey? And it doesn’t work. What if you end up having to live the rest of your life hating yourself for doing something so silly? How would you feel then?” 

 

“I…” 

 

“Listen. I can’t promise you life gets any easier because there will always be challenges and hard times but there is so much to see, so much to do and so much for you to find out about yourself… You have this huge long life ahead of you for you to get things right and if you do this, you’ll either never experience it or spend the rest of your life regretting this one decision. So, what do you chose?” 

 

Harry’s character stood, his mouth gaped as the tears streamed down his face. He scrunched them closed, the sound coming from his mouth filled with pain and hurt, the realisation of what he was doing too much for him. His hands loosened on the railing so he could cover his face and he felt his legs wobble on the ledge, he panicked attempting to hold himself still and the actor behind him reached out to grab him and hold him still. 

 

He was breathless, his eyes wide as the panic set in and the other actor helped him cross the railing until he was laying on the floor against his chest. His hands grasped onto the material of his jacket as the sobs poured, the uncontrollable noise escaping from him. He was releasing every single inch of pain he had felt. 

 

The other actor ruffled in his pocket and grabbed his phone, he held Harry tight with one arm as he pretended to call an ambulance. 

 

The scene panned out as the camera faded away from the scene, just the noises of Harry’s crying until they were out of shot. Louis waited a minute, appreciating the scene laid out on the screen in front of him - a black screen, nothing but the night sky, the outline of the bridge and the sound of Harry. And eventually, he reached his hand up and yelled “cut!” 

 

The cameras turned out of shot and Louis was quick to escape his seat, he threw his megaphone onto his chair and paced his way over onto the bridge. He watched as the actor stood up and walked away, unaffected by the scene completely, whereas Harry was different. The younger actor was leaning against the railings with his head in his hands, he looked so small, sitting all alone. Louis’ heart was breaking at the sight, it was all too real for him. 

 

He approached Harry cautiously, he crouched down in front of him. He gazed around him to make sure no one was looking and reached a hesitant hand out onto Harry’s arm. Harry slowly lifted his hands from his face and the way he looked at Louis was beyond his beliefs. His eyes were red raw from the tears, the actual emotions from the scene all over his face. He looked so vulnerable. Before Louis could take it all in, Harry had shuffled up and hooked his arms around his neck. 

 

Louis stalled, the pda was completely out of character. He hesitantly moved his arms around the younger boy’s waist and pulled him in close, Harry rested his head on Louis’ shoulder in a mess of sniffles. Louis’ closed his eyes, trying to hold him enough to ease him. 

 

They stayed like that for a few moments before Harry eventually pulled away, rubbing his eyes as he did. 

 

“You okay?” Louis’ voice was soft as he peered at the younger boy, his hand reached up to swipe the loose curls from his forehead. 

 

“Yeah” He croaked out and coughed to clear his throat “It was just rough, you know? A bit too real for me” 

 

“I know” Louis sighed, dropping his hand. “How about we go back to mine tonight? I’ll order us in some food, we’ll curl up on the sofa and binge watch a bit of Netflix, take your mind off it?” 

 

“Yes, please” Harry nodded. 

 

It took Harry a while to get up, Louis had guided him over to the cast that they thanked before making an exit. Louis left it to the crew to pack everything away today, it was their job after all. 

 

They were sat on Louis’ sofa about an hour later, a blanket over their laps and a pizza between them. Louis had chosen To All The Boys I Loved Before. It was an easy watch, made for late-teens and could no way upset either of them. Louis was invested in it, he had only read the book so this was like watching his imagination come to life in front of him. But Harry was distracted, he was picking at his pizza, he had barely touched a slice whereas Louis had already eaten four. He didn’t want to push him, he knew that when actors had went deep into their character it usually took them awhile to come back to themselves. It was a talent for sure, but hard to watch nonetheless. 

 

“Honestly… if she didn’t want the boys to read them, why would she have addressed them?” 

 

Harry hummed, agreeing. His eyes were on the TV but they weren’t focusing, they were just lifelessly staring. It wasn’t until about forty minutes into the movie that Louis gave in, he placed his slice of pizza back into the box with a sigh and turned to look at him. 

 

“Come on, talk to me. It might make you feel better” 

 

Harry’s head dropped with a heavy sigh, he slowly turned his head to look at Louis. Louis could see the pain still in his eyes, it was heartbreaking. 

 

“I’ve seen actors invested before, H. But you’re on another level. Talk to me” 

 

“I don't know what to say, Louis” He flew his head back against the back of Louis sofa. He closed his eyes briefly “Its all just a bit close to home for me. It’s just… I felt it” 

 

“Felt what?” 

 

“What the character felt. I knew how he felt, all of the pent up anger bubbling inside. How hard it is… to like explain to people how it feels” Harry’s hand ran through his hair. “It’s like… no one else can understand it. The way it feels to pretend all day, every day. To be a puppet. It just… When I was playing the character, I knew how it felt to be so lost that you felt there was no way out” 

 

“Harry… Have you, fuck, have you ever tried? You know, to do  _ that _ ” Louis asked, his eyes soft as he stared at the conflicted boy. 

 

“I… I've thought about it. I mean, I’m pretty sure most people have, right? I just… I don’t know, the pretending got a little too much, I was working none stop, I didn’t have a social life, I was hated by everyone because of these rumours everyone’s heard and… I just thought, maybe it would be easier if I disappeared” 

 

“Oh, Harry…” 

 

“It’s just… The reason I took on this role was because of the story line, I was practically going to play myself. Minus the boyband and singing. I just related to it and now I’m playing it, it’s like everything’s dawning on me” He sighed with a pause, his eyes glancing to Louis. “I know what I’m doing is wrong, you know. I know it’s not normal and I know how fucked up it is. This movie proves that. But, I also know that this is my life now. I would never take my own life because of it, I’m not brave enough. But, I do wish I could just disappear from it all” 

 

“You can” Louis rushed out, pausing the TV. “I know you have it all laid out for you and you have people depending on you and this career. But, you don’t have to do this forever, Harry. You really don’t physically have to go through this forever. If you really wanted to, you could finish this movie and walk away from it, forever” 

 

“It’s not that easy, Lou” 

 

“Isn’t it? You’re not contracted to stick to one career for the rest of your life, Harry. There’s a whole world out there that’s ready for you to explore. Have you never wondered what it felt like? To travel, explore and see the world on your own accord? To live the way you want to? Because you can, you just need to find the strength to walk away” 

 

“There isn’t a way I can do that. We both know it. This is my life, Lou. I know I’m contradicting myself entirely here, I do want to live a different life and I do want to be free to do what I want to do but this is the life I have. The one laid out in front of me, I have to deal with that” 

 

Louis shook his head “You don’t have to deal with it. I know you feel there’s no other way but one day you’re going to wake up and realise that there’s more to life than acting and being a puppet for the big man, Harry” 

 

“You’re too full of hope for a world like this Louis. I just wish I could be as hopeful as you. I’ve never felt more alive since I met you. It’s been miraculous, it’s like you can bring out the best in people. I meant what I said, you do make me a better person but only when I’m with you… That’s just how it is” 

 

“That’s not a life to live. You know, when this movie is over, you’re going to be flown away and we won’t be able to do this anymore” Louis whispered, he took a deep breath as he glanced back up at Harry. His voice clearer now “I love that I can bring this side of you out. But if you want to be happy, even the slightest bit, you need to learn to do that yourself” 

 

“Are you saying we won’t see each other after?” Harry asked, obviously ignoring any other part except the idea of them not seeing each other anymore. 

 

Louis crossed his legs on the sofa and turned so he could face him properly “Look, you’re Harry Styles. You travel the world, you live in LA a lot of the time. You have celebrity friends, a wild lifestyle and a model girlfriend. I’m just Louis Tomlinson, I live in a little flat in central London and live a pretty normal life bar my job. We’re two different people from two different worlds” 

 

“And that means we can’t see each other?” 

 

“You said it Harry, we can be friends and nothing more. It’s unheard of, Directors and their actor being in such close proximity all the time, as well as doing what we do. You’re job means that the minute we stop filming your management is gonna have you on the next flight out of London and into your next movie without a break” 

 

“But, you can come and visit me in LA?” 

 

Louis admired how hopeful he was. He was used to being the hopeful person, the one full of love and excitement for what the future held for him. But with this one, it was all reality. 

 

“Harry… I’m going to say this once, okay? And I don’t want to hear about it again until the last day of filming” Louis said, taking a deep breath. “Look. I want to be your friend, I want to see you succeed and do amazing things and support you every step of the way. But your life, it’s just too crazy. And you know that. I’m wanting to find the love of my life, settle down and start a family. And if it was any other world in any other circumstance, I would be asking you to be that person but this isn’t that world. All we can be is friends with…  _ occasional benefits _ . And don’t get me wrong, I’m enjoying it, I love having you around. But I’m the hopeless romantic type, H. I can’t keep doing this with you forever, it’s not fair. Because you and I both know I’ll end up falling for you, for the person you are when it’s just you and me” 

 

“But…” Harry began but Louis shook his head to stop him. Louis reached out and took Harry’s hand in his. 

 

“But that’s not our life, is it? You’re a different person to everyone else but me. I can’t be your secret forever, worrying about the way I look at you or touch you. If I could Harry, I would pull you away from this world you live in and make you see the world for what it really is” Louis declared, his thumb stroking Harry’s hand as he thought about what his mum had said. “But I can’t. You’re not ready. So, let’s enjoy what we have for now, appreciate it. You can enjoy this feeling you have and being able to be who you really are and I can enjoy having you with me. And at the end of this, I’ll ask you if you’re ready. Ready to walk away and finally live. And if you are, that’s… amazing. But if you’re not, I can’t carry on with all of this. I’m telling you now, so you know” 

  
  


Harry stated at him blankly, nodding his head slowly as he took all of it in. He let a sad smile reach across his face and he placed his spare hand on top of Louis’. “I can’t promise you that I’ll be able to do what you want or be who you want me to be at the end of this Lou. But if this is what you want, then I’m okay with that. I’m just happy you’ll let me spend time with you for now. You’re such a kind hearted, beautiful person Louis. And if it’s not me, then one day you’ll make someone a very lucky man one day” 

 

“Thank you” Louis soothed “So no more talk of this. Let’s watch the end of this movie, you’ll eat your half of the pizza and then we’ll go to bed and have spectacular sex”

 

Harry snorted, the laugh that escaped him was goofy and careless and Louis loved it. “Okay, I like that idea” 

 

Louis knew where this was going, he knew that he was going to become so accustomed to Harry that when it came to letting him go it was going to rip him to pieces but that was okay. As long as he could have Harry for now. 


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter song recommendations I listened to whilst writing. 
> 
> Sigrid - Strangers. (Inconic to this fic)   
> Henry Green - Stay here.   
> Lewis Capaldi - Someone you loved.

Louis dropped his head onto the desk with a groan. He was exhausted, mainly due to Niall and Harry who were currently in his office bickering over nothing. It reminded him of when he had first met Harry, he now realised how annoying it was. 

 

“Your highlighted hair isn’t hiding the grey, Niall” 

 

“The expensive clothes you wear don’t hide the fact your a dickhead” 

 

“That doesn’t even make any sense!” 

 

“You don’t even make any sense!” 

 

“Please… both of you, shut up” Louis bellowed as he lifted his head up. “What are you even arguing about?” 

 

Niall shrugged “Harry said I was boring” 

 

“He is” Harry admitted “he was talking about golf, Lou. No one cares about golf” 

 

“He has a point, Niall” Louis pointed out. 

 

Niall frowned, pulling a face “Are you kidding? Oh, I see. Now you two are shagging each other senseless you’re taking his side?” he huffed, crossing his arms. 

 

“We’re not shagging each other senseless” Louis mumbled. 

 

“I mean, we kind of are… Don’t you remember this morning? You were saying my name over and over and over…” 

 

“Alright” Louis winced “Shut up. You’re both annoying. Why are you even here? Harry, you’re not even working today and Niall, you’re never supposed to be here” 

 

“I was bored” Harry shrugged. 

 

“Same” Niall said, lying back on the sofa in Louis’ office. “Plus, it’s the only time I can spend time with you. Any free time you have, you’re with curly bollocks over here” 

 

“It’s because I’m better company” Harry winked. 

 

“We arranged to go for pints this weekend” Louis said, pointing it out. He then glanced at Harry. “Oh, you can come too if you like babe?” 

 

“ _ Babe _ ” Niall gagged “Can’t you spend a single night without him?” 

 

“No he can’t” 

 

“You’re not even a couple but you’re both worse than an old married couple” Niall frowned. 

 

“Oh, shut up. Anyway, no I can’t come this weekend, I’m afraid. It’s my weekend off and I have some fantastic publicity stunts arranged for the entire time” Harry faked a cheer, a false smile spreading across his face. 

 

“Again?” Louis sighed. 

 

“I’m afraid so, love. I can’t get out of it, it’s some big launch for her and her sisters clothing line. It would be weird if I didn’t go” 

 

“In LA? You realise it practically takes a day of travelling to get there? You’ve only got two days off” 

 

“I know that” He shrugged “I’m literally there for the evening and I’m flying back early Sunday morning” 

 

“That’s fucking ridiculous” Louis spat. “I mean, do they not realise that you’re currently filming and have no spare time as it is? And now they’re dragging you across the sea for one bloody night!” 

 

Harry chuckled “Chill, Babe. It’s Kendall’s night, I don’t mind too much. She’s my friend, isn’t she?” 

 

“I guess” 

 

“Stop being stroppy” 

 

“This is completely irrelevant” Niall butted in “What’s more important is that you have a whole weekend to spend with your best friend, how exciting is that?” 

 

“I’m ecstatic” Louis rolled his eyes. 

 

“It also means you’ve only got two more nights of my company, which is much more important” Harry said, leaning across Louis’ desk with a grin. “I also have a surprise for you after you finish” 

 

“I finish at five today and I’m too tired for anything exciting. So, it better not be anything too full on or I’ll end up just collapsing” 

 

“I mean… it’s not a small one?” 

 

“Oh god” Louis sighed “Fine” 

 

“You’ll love it, I promise” Harry assured him. 

 

“Are you two even aware that I’m here?” Niall asked, frowning at the two of them. “I preferred when Harry was a dick and you hated him, Lou. It was much better” 

 

“Oh, don’t we all” 

 

Niall had disappeared a few hours later and Harry had stuck around, sitting beside Louis while he shot a few scenes and through a meeting with producers. He was so eager to get Louis out of the studio and into his car you would think he could piss with excitement. Much to Louis’ annoyance, Harry wouldn’t tell him a single thing about what to expect. He was like a child, singing ‘ _ I’m not telling you _ ’ a countless amount of times. He realised half way through the journey that it was his own flat they were heading to and not Harry’s. He had decided he hated surprises. 

 

Once he stepped out of the car, Harry was already at his side and had grabbed his hand. Louis couldn’t keep up with his own steps as Harry dragged him through the car park and into the building. 

 

“Harry… as adorable as you look, please slow down!”

 

“I think I’ve done the nicest thing I’ve ever done in my life, I honestly think you’ve turned me into this ridiculously nice person and I hate it” 

 

“Is my surprise that you are going to insult me? Because if so, I think I’d rather be at work” 

 

Harry snorted, pulling Louis into the elevator “You’re so annoying” 

 

“Once again… if this is what I’ve got to expect, then you can drag me back to the car” 

 

“Shut up, Lou” Harry sighed, pressing the button for Louis’ floor. He waited for the doors to close, he then turned to Louis who was leaning against the back wall with a disgruntled look. “Are you gonna sulk all night?” 

 

“I mean, yeah, probably” 

 

Harry rolled his eyes with a smirk, he stepped forward and grabbed Louis’ hand as the elevator began to move. He pulled Louis close to him and smiled, snaking an arm around his waist. “You’re beautiful, have I told you that?” 

 

“You should tell me more often” Louis shrugged, biting back a smile. A free hand traced along the skin showing of Harry’s chest, Harry refused to button his shirt up, even when it was minus fuck all outside, Louis didn’t mind really, he loved seeing the small birds peek out beneath the silk fabric. “Why are you being so nice?” 

 

“Like I said, it’s your fault… you make me want to be the best kind of person I can be” Harry smiled softly, a free hand reached up, he used his thumb and index finger to grab Louis’ chin and pull his head up. Softly, carelessly and full of absolute care, his lips fell onto Louis’,  in the most innocent kiss Louis had ever felt from Harry’s lips. Louis melted into them, his body almost limp in Harry’s arms as he hummed into it. 

 

There was no pressure in the kiss, no expectations, just the two of them, wrapped up in one another. And it wasn’t until the ping was heard above them that Harry pulled back, placing one more simple kiss on Louis’ lips. Louis stood still, he was still so wrapped up in the moment that he wasn’t even aware that his feet were moving and Harry was pulling him out of the elevator and into the hallway.

 

“What was that for?” Louis choked out, realising that they were now stood outside of his apartment. 

 

Harry shrugged, tightening his grip around Louis’ hand. “Do I need a reason to kiss you?” 

 

Louis wanted to say yes, but really, he knew Harry didn’t need much of a reason at all. He was so used to Harry now, whenever he kissed him, it didn’t shock him, it came naturally but it was the comfort and passion that came from a simple kiss that shocked him most. 

 

“Why are we here then? I swear Harry, if we are going into my apartment and there’s not a surprise at all then I’ll be giving you a slap” 

 

“Cheeky” Harry winked, his hand twisting the key into the lock. He glanced down at Louis “I know that since having me in your life Niall doesn’t even come close to my company, so I thought, while I’m away, why don’t I give you some decent company?” 

 

“That makes no sense… you’re blabbering, H” 

 

“Just go in and see!” Harry said, stepping back for Louis. He stood lent against the wall beside the door, Louis frowned as he cautiously walked up to the door. He half expected to walk in and see a bunch of sex dolls, or worse, a bunch of cut-outs of Harry. That was the kind of person he was. 

 

Louis sighed, walking into the apartment, he didn’t need to hold it off anymore. He frowned as he saw the empty corridor, he turned to Harry with a frown, Harry shook his head and urged him to go in. Louis reluctantly walked into the apartment, wary to walk into his home. He didn’t know what he was expecting, but, as he stepped into his living room he stalled. His mouth fell agape, a slight frown still on his face, he turned between Harry who was grinning like a Cheshire Cat in the hallway and into the room. 

 

“Mum?” He nearly shouted, his head shaking frantically. He stood for a second before he let his mum pull him into a hug. “What the fuck is going on? You didn’t tell me you were coming” 

 

“Well, I didn’t know I was” She laughed into his shoulder, She kissed his cheek once and pulled back with a smile to look at him. “Surprise?” 

 

“Yes, definitely a surprise” Louis nodded, leaning in to kiss her cheek. He stepped back and turned to Harry who was practically clapping his hands together in joy. 

 

“Good, right?” Harry beamed. 

 

Louis shook his head “You’re a loser. My mum? That’s the surprise?” 

 

Harry’s smile faltered, he frowned “You don’t like it?” 

 

“No, I love it, you dick. Just, you could have told me!” 

 

“But that completely ruins the idea of a surprise, Lou” 

 

“Harry rang me a couple days ago, told me he was going away this weekend and seeing as you have a couple days off, he thought it would be nice for me to come and visit” His mum piped in, distracting the two. 

 

Louis turned back to his mum and nodded slowly, he took a deep breath before saying “Tea, anyone?” 

 

Louis, Harry and his mum sat along the sofas in his living room. Harry and Louis sat on one whilst his mum sat alone on the one opposite, it had been quiet for a few short minutes. Louis wasn’t sure what to say, he was still in shock that Harry had made a point of getting his mum here to stay with him whilst he went away. More so, that he had somehow found his mums number, managed to get her here, hid her in his apartment and all the while Louis was none the wiser. 

 

“So…” Harry said, taking a sip of his tea. 

 

“You’re such a sneaky fucker!” Louis finally said, turning to look at Harry. “How did you manage to get her here? You’ve never even spoke to my mum!” 

 

“While you were asleep, I got her number from your phone. You were kinda stressed lately, I thought it would be a nice surprise” Harry shrugged, cautiously speaking. Louis was taking this surprise weirder than expected. 

 

Louis nodded slowly and turned to his mum “And you! I was on the phone to you yesterday, you told me you were taking the kids away on a little getaway… talking of which, where are the kids?” 

 

“Staying with your grandparents” His mother explained. “Why are you being so weird about this?” 

 

“I’m not! I’m just shocked, is all. It’s a lovely surprise, I mean, I’m glad that you’re here and it’s really nice of Harry, I just wasn’t expecting this… Knowing Harry, I expected more of a surprise like being surrounded by a bunch of Harry Styles lookalikes” 

 

“I love how highly you think of me” Harry snorted, leaning back to sip his tea. 

 

“I mean, you can’t say it’s something you wouldn’t do”

 

Harry shrugged, nodding his head “yeah, you’re right” 

 

“It was lovely to be invited up to visit you, by your… Friend? boyfriend?” Louis’ mum asked, hiding the smug look from behind her mug of tea. 

 

“Harry’s just my…” He paused. He wasn’t sure what Harry was, he was his friend, that was certain, he was also a friend that he sometimes had sex with, a friend that kissed him from time to time, held his hand. A friend that cuddled him in bed after long day, kissed his head when he fell to sleep and calmed him down with his gentle fingers. So what was he really? 

 

“I’m his  _ friend _ ” Harry answered, he winked at Louis’ mother who was more than aware of what was really going on. 

 

“A friend? I see. It’s strange really, isn’t it? I wasn’t aware that a friend leaves most of their belongings and clothes in their friends house. Or that they look at each other like the light shines out of each other arses. But I mean, what do I know?” 

 

Louis’ eyes slanted, looking at his mum who had recently learned the saying ‘tea’ which she was most definitely portraying now, as she hid behind the cup of tea in her hand. “Oh, mother. You’re hardly discreet” 

 

Harry laughed beside Louis, placing his cup onto the table in front of him “I just like to keep things here” 

 

“I see, for what reason?” 

 

“In case I need them for another day. You see, sometimes I need to sleep here, because I’m tired” 

 

Louis rolled his eyes, he reached his hand out and slapped Harry’s thigh “Stop being an idiot” 

 

“I’m teasing, don’t worry” His mum laughed, copying Harry’s actions and placing her cup on a coaster. “You don’t need to tell me whatever it is that’s going on between you. Although, it is plainly obvious” 

 

“Alright mum, enough” Louis said, sitting back. “Well, now, what do we do?” 

 

“Well, I am going to meet your Aunt in Kensington this evening. So you have an evening with your  _ friend _ … So we can plan to do some bonding this weekend, yeah?” 

 

Louis nodded “Yeah, okay, cool. Tell my Aunt that you were a pain in the arse the entire time you were here” 

 

“I will do” She smiled. 

 

They sat in the living room for an hour or so more, his mum telling stories of how she had been doing at home since his last visit, telling stories of Louis’ siblings and Harry had made it his mission to learn of all the embarrassing stories that Louis’ mother has from when he was younger. And by the time Louis’ mum had left, Harry had a chapter of stories ready to use whenever Louis was being a whiny brat. 

 

As nice of a surprise that it was, Louis was thankful to see his mother leave. Not so thankful to see Harry laid back on his sofa with a smirk across his face, stifling in a laugh. 

 

“Oh, I see your game, Styles” Louis said, closing the door to the living room. 

 

“Whatever do you mean, Louis?” He fluttered his lashes innocently. 

 

Louis crossed his arms over his chest and lent back against the door “Invite my mother here so you can find out some of my most embarrassing stories to use against me?” 

 

Harry faked a gasp, covering his mouth with his hand “Me? I would never. I would have you know, I’m but a kind hearted soul who did this purely to make you happy” 

 

Louis snorted, he pushed himself off the door and walked past the sofa leading to the kitchen. “You’re an absolute loser” 

 

Harry laughed, he stood up from the sofa and ran up behind Louis, he pushed his arms around Louis’ waist and pulled him into his chest. Harry giggles as he pulled the younger boy back with him until he fell back onto the sofa, Louis lay on top of Harry, attempting to wriggle out of his grasp. 

 

“Get off me, you giant oath!” 

 

“Oath? Oh, charming” Harry barked a laugh, tightening a grip around Louis. 

 

Louis gave up his struggle, he sighed and lay back onto Harry’s chest. He spread his arms out and he became a dead weight on top of Harry. “I give up! I’ll stay here, you’ll forever be squashed by me and my fat arse” 

 

“I can cope with that” Harry said, kissing the side of Louis’ neck. “I’m quite content with you being on top of me, but maybe if you turn round and I can get a better angle” 

 

“You’re disgusting” Louis snorted, his arms wrapped around Harry’s arms that wrapped around him. 

 

Harry smiled into his neck, and held him close. It was easily the most uncomfortable position ever but Louis was quite content to be wrapped up within him. 

 

“Were you really upset? About me bringing your mum here?” 

 

Louis softened, he shook his head gently “No, I wasn’t upset. I’m sorry, love. I was just shocked, that’s all. It’s a really nice thing that you did,  _ really _ , I’m glad she’s here” 

 

“I just thought, with you being so stressed about the movie and all. Your mum visiting would cheer you up, I guess?” 

 

“I appreciate it, babe. Really I do. You didn’t have to” Louis said, letting his head fall back into Harry’s shoulder. 

 

Harry nodded, kissing his neck once again. “You deserve it, I just want you to be happy babe. Plus, while I’m away it’d make me feel better knowing you weren’t hiding away in your house all weekend working when you’ll promise me that you won’t” 

 

Louis hummed, he gazed up over his lashes “I see. That’s kind of a thing a boyfriend would do rather than a friend” he bit back a laugh “just saying” 

 

“I’m not your boyfriend… I’m not your friend, either. I’m just, kinda in the middle” 

 

“In the middle… I see” Louis nodded slowly. “What do we label,  _ in the middle _ , then?” 

 

“Exactly that. In the middle” 

 

Louis nodded. No matter what he wanted from Harry, no matter how content he was and how comfortable he was in that very moment - it was useless, he would have to deal with being in the middle and that would be it, until it came to and end and it wasn’t anything. 

 

Louis found himself wrapped up around Harry in bed, half of his body draped over him as he lent his head against Harry’s chest and watched the movie on the TV. Harry really shouldn’t be here, it was meant to be a casual thing but he had been staying at Louis’ house or Louis had been staying at Harry’s since it all started. They kept it casual in work, barely recognising one another whilst they were on set but the moment they were alone, it was a whole different story. 

 

Louis was dreading having to spend a weekend without Harry, it proved just why this was all just too much. He was definitely too attached. 

 

“You tired?” Harry whispered, looking down under his chin and Louis. His hand that rested on Louis’ shoulder stroked along his bare arm. 

 

Louis shook his head “No, I’m fine” 

 

“Your mum was so excited to see you on the phone. I actually think she was excited to spend some time just the two of you” 

 

“She misses me. She tells me all the time. It used to just be me and her all the time before the kids came, we would be like best friends, we still are, just this job makes it a bit difficult to actually see one another” Louis sighs, resting a hand on Harry’s chest “We used to have movie nights, she would make hot chocolate and I would get all the snacks, we would sit and talk about which actor was the hottest and then spend another hour talking about our biggest celeb crushes… we were like two teenage girls, gossiping about hot guys” 

 

“That’s sweet, love” 

 

“It’ll be nice to spend time with her on my own. Once the kids came along it just made everything so much harder, you know? Our movie nights turned into early nights. Instead of spending time together, I would be helping her get the babies ready for the day, babysitting whenever she needed it and kinda supporting her, you know? We never had the time to do it anymore” 

 

Harry kissed the top of his head “You miss her a lot, don’t you?” 

 

“Yeah, so much. She didn’t want to move to London though, she loves it back in Donny. I do as well, but it just wasn’t ideal with this career, too much travelling. So I had to leave her behind. But I guess I’m the same as anyone else who leaves home, you know? I’m sure you miss your mum as well” 

 

Harry shrugged beneath him “Not really, I’ve never really had them around enough to actually miss my parents. I kind of grew up on my own, I was sent from pillar to post at a young age and never had much time on my own with them. I had a Nanny, so they didn’t have to do much with me” 

 

“Harry, that’s awful… I mean, I’m sorry, I’m not slating your parents” Louis said, leaning up on his elbow so he could look at Harry. “But, growing up without a fond memory of your parents or a supportive, loving family environment… that’s just… so damaging” 

 

Harry shrugged, his face emotionless. He really couldn’t see any problem with it, it was what he was used to. 

 

“What about Christmas? Do you go home?” Louis asked, his hand reaching up to cup Harry’s cheek. 

 

Harry shook his head, leaning into his touch “No, I used to but a lot of the time they didn’t even turn up. They call me sometimes to wish me a Happy Christmas, but that’s it. I just gave up, decided to spend it at home or with friends families” 

 

Louis closed his eyes, he felt everything in Harry’s past, he wanted to continually swoop him in his arms and give him a life he deserved. But he knows that it would never matter, Louis could want to change him, give him a family and love, so he could appreciate and feel it. But he was stuck in his ways and always would be, that was the person that his parents and the industry had moulded him into. 

 

“Why do you always look at me like that?” Harry asked, frowning down at Louis, matching Louis’ movement as he reached his hand up to swipe Louis’ fringe from his forehead. 

 

“Like what?” 

 

“You always have this look… I guess, like,  _ pity _ , I suppose? Like, every time I open up to you, you look at me like you’re gonna cry” 

 

“Don’t you see how sad it is?” Louis asked, shuffling up the bed so he was a few inches from Harry’s face. His hand moved and his fingers became lost in his curls as he played with the loose curls. “I’m just sad that you didn’t have a better upbringing… I’m not belittling your parents I’m sure they had the…  _ best intentions _ , for you. But they also forgot that you were just a kid. You were brought up to be media ready, that’s fucked up man. The person you were at the beginning of this movie compared to now, you’re like a different guy. You’re the real  _ you _ , you know?” 

 

“You need to stop worrying about me, you know? I’m only your problem for a few more months. I’ll be this version of me, while I’m with you and then I’ll be shoved into another movie and I’ll be back to the guy the media knows so well. This is just my life, Lou, you know that” 

 

“I just wish it wasn’t… I just wish you could be the real you always, with me” 

 

Harry sighed “Lou…” 

 

“I know, I know. It won’t work, not with your life and not with mine. But I wish it could, sometimes I just pretend that this is it, you know? I mean, it’s working now, as it is. So why wouldn’t it work after?” 

 

“It just… it just wouldn’t, Lou. This is easy for now, because people think I’m just friends with the Director, while I’m still swooning away with my model girlfriend. But eventually, the media would pick up on us, on who we are and what we’re actually doing, then it would be over. It would end up in tears, it’s not worth it, we’d just be hurting ourselves” 

 

Louis shook his head “You’d never know, unless we tried. I mean, think about it Harry, how can you be so certain of something unless you try?” 

 

Harry sighed heavily and inched himself up to lean against the headboard “Louis, you promised we wouldn’t have this conversation until the end. I don’t… this. All the talk of relationships, it’s not something I do and I’ve told you this. People end up hurt and I’m not having that on my head” he glanced down at Louis with a soft smile “I’m sorry babe” 

 

Louis didn’t bother to argue it anymore, he knew it was pointless. He just nodded his head and rested back onto his side, only this time he turned his back to Harry. He lent his head against his arms and stared at the wall, his eyes focusing on the wallpaper. He felt the bed shift beside him, then he felt Harry’s body push up against his, Harry’s arms snaked around him and pulled him close - Harry’s head snuggled into the crook of Louis’ neck and he placed a soft kiss below his ear. 

 

“You’re not mad at me, are you?” 

 

“No” Louis said, quietly. “I’m just mad at the situation” 

 

“Can’t we just appreciate what we have? This kind of thing doesn’t happen a lot, Lou. What we have… it’s different to anything else. I just want to enjoy the time I have with you before it’s too late” 

 

“Okay” Louis nodded, although he wanted to do the opposite. He wanted to shake his head, tell him no. But how could he?

 

He was addicted to Harry and there was nothing he could do about it. 


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a whole mix of emotions. One minute you’re buzzing and the next you’re like ‘Oh for fuck sake Harry’ so here’s some songs! 
> 
> Hozier - Someone New.   
> Lily Allen - Smile  
> Niall Horan - Slow Hands.   
> The White Stripes - Seven nation army  
> Killers - Somebody told me.   
> Grace Carter - silence   
> Corinne Bailey Rae - The scientist.   
> Scotty Sire - Take me away

The first day without Harry was a slow one, Louis was called onto set for a few hours - he was stuck, trying to deal with everything that was going on on set with stuck up actors and actresses and a stubborn author, it took three tedious and slow hours to sort it all out before he left it to the Co-Director and left. As soon as he left the building, work was completely off his mind. He met his mum at a coffee shop on Oxford and decided to solely focus on that.

 

They went shopping, Louis ended up treating his mum to several new outfits, multiple pairs of shoes and enough bags to last her the year. She obviously denied letting Louis pay but he was having none of it, he wanted to treat her, she deserved it. After hours tracing up and down Oxford Street, they ended up at a little Italian restaurant in the back streets, Louis had never heard of it and that’s exactly what he wanted - he didn’t want anyone recognising him today, it all felt so normal and how it used to be, he didn’t want a reminder of what his life actually was nowadays. 

 

He had sent Harry a text to make sure he was okay around halfway through dinner, he had yet to hear from him since he left Louis’ apartment the next morning. He knew Harry didn’t really have to text him, he didn’t have any need to but still, Louis was like a worried spouse, hesitantly waiting for a response. 

 

His mum ended up convincing him to go for cocktails, it didn’t take much really, he was easily lead astray when it came to alcohol and seeing as they were meeting Niall at the local pub in a couple hours, it made sense to start early and get themselves a little tipsy beforehand. 

 

Some might be quite embarrassed to be drinking with their mum, having them obviously drunk around them but Louis loved it. After all, she was his best friend and there was no one he would rather stumble through the streets of London with in the hunt for the little Irish man that is Niall Hiram. 

 

They were round the corner from the pub when Louis was recognised, the first time all evening.

 

“Oh my god, you’re Louis Tomlinson!” 

 

Louis stalled in his laughter as the random stranger stopped his path, he stood in front of him and blocked him. He gazed up and down at the boy and nodded. 

 

“I’ll meet you inside, baby” 

 

Louis smiled as his mum unhooked his arm and trailed off into the pub to meet their jolly friend. Louis turned to the stranger again and smiled, reaching a hand out to shake his hand. But the stranger had other plans, he knocked his hand down and hugged Louis. Louis froze, unsure what to do to begin with but eventually he gave the stranger a quick hug. 

 

“Sorry” The lad said, pulling back with a bright smile “I’m such a massive fan. You’re like inspiring! Honestly. The movies you make, they’re great but like this new one, I can’t fucking wait, woah, sorry I didn’t mean to swear. I just, I read the book and it was so inspiring. Then I heard that you were the one making the movie and I just knew that it was going to be even better! Having a LGBT man making such a crucial LGBT movie, I mean, it’s just amazing” 

 

“Thank you” Louis said through a breathless laugh, trying to take in the rushed words that the stranger had just babbled out at him. “That’s really kind” 

 

“I’m sorry… I just wanted to tell you how much you inspire me. I heard your story on an interview you did, talking about how you came out to your family and how you’re an ambassador for an LGBT organisation. You inspired me to come out to my family, if it wasn’t for you, I would never be who I am today” 

 

Louis shook his head, trying to hide how drunk he actually was at that moment. “That was all you, no one else. I didn’t do anything” 

 

“Well, you helped me out along the way. I’m sorry for interrupting your night, I just wanted to thank you” 

 

“You’re welcome, even though I’m not sure what for” Louis said, a genuine smile spreading across his face. 

 

The other lad, smiled, nodded his head a few times and then walked away. It was the most bizarre and quick moments he had ever encountered, he turned to watch the lad walk away and he felt a chip on his shoulder as he walked off to follow his mum’s steps into the pub. 

 

As long as he could help one person, that was enough. 

 

He walked into the pub, the music playing through the room. His hands were in his pockets as he gazed around looking for the familiar faces, that’s when he clocked his Mum and Niall. Not surprised at all to see Niall trying to get his Mum to take a shot. 

 

He rolled his eyes with a fond smile as he pushed his way through the pub and over to them. 

 

“Are you trying to make sure my mum can’t walk home?”

 

Niall’s face lit up when he saw Louis, he grinned as he clasped his best mate on the back “Nice of you to join us. I heard you had a little fan outside?” 

 

“Yeah, he was nice” Louis shrugged. 

 

“Let’s take a shot to celebrate!” Niall cheered and Louis glanced down at the three shots already laid out on the side. 

 

“We’ve just got here. Shall we start with a pint?” 

 

Niall shook his head “Not a chance. We’re here to get your Mum drunk! And have a great time, which means shots are a must” 

 

His Mum had already taken her shot, placing the shot glass onto the counter with a loud sigh. The two boys glanced at her and frowned, she had already reached out for Niall’s one and had it to her lips before the boys could protest. 

 

“Fuckin’ hell, Mum!” Louis laughed. 

 

“Bottoms up, boys! I have a weekend away from the kids and have just had a long day of shopping, drinks it is!” 

 

“Yeah, Louis. Get on your mums level” Niall smirked, reaching for Louis’ shot. 

 

“Get me one then!” 

 

It didn’t take long, they were already drunk from their cocktails, Niall was a lightweight so he was on par with them by their fifth drink and third shot and before Louis knew it, he was videoing his Mum and Niall on Karaoke singing a duet version of Liam’s song Story Of My Life.

 

He was snorting with laughter, his mum forgot nearly every word and Niall was attempting some stupid dance move which was most definitely not what he was trying to do. He stopped videoing, ready to post it on Facebook to embarrass his Mum and Niall forever. He lent against the bar and was on Facebook, posting the video with the caption ‘Someone save me’ and laughed at himself. 

 

He sat on the stool, staring at his empty messages, drunk him was extremely concerned with the fact that Harry hadn’t text him AT ALL. He was worried about him, which he really shouldn’t be. 

 

He was just about to call Harry’s number when the two idiot drinks fell beside him in a fit of laughter. 

 

“What you doing?” Niall asked, he lent his head on Louis’ shoulder and gazed at his phone. “You’re not really about to drunk call Loverboy, are you?” 

 

“No” Louis quickly said, shoving his phone in his pocket. 

 

“Ah Ha! I knew it wasn’t just friends!” His mum shouted, grabbing Louis’ drink to take a sip. 

 

“Why?” Niall asked, rolling his eyes “Surely you can cope with one night away from him?” 

 

“It’s three nights, Niall. Three bloody nights!” 

 

Niall sat beside him on one of the stools and frowned at his best friend “You’re like a lovesick puppy” 

 

“He hasn’t even text me! I mean, he’s been gone now since yesterday morning and he hasn’t text me once” Louis said, he pouted as he lent against his arms on top of the counter. “It’s just rude” 

 

“You’re not together, Lou. I hate to say that but it’s true and he hasn’t actually got any commitment to you” 

 

Louis’ Mum caught on at that point “What do you mean you’re not together?” 

 

“Oh great” Louis sighed, whacking his head against his arms. Niall stopped him and rolled his eyes. Louis glanced up at him “This is your fault” 

 

“They’re not together… They can’t be, because of his contract with management. He can’t be openly in a relationship with another guy” Niall explained. 

 

Louis shot up and shoved a hand over Niall’s mouth “Hush! It’s a secret, you dickhead. You can’t be talking about it so openly” 

 

Niall pulled Louis’ hand from his mouth “No one is going to be listening. Everyone’s fucked, so are we!” 

 

“What’s going on, Boobear?” His mum asked through a slur of words, her hand reached up to grab Louis’ arm. 

 

“It’s what Niall said” Louis shrugged “That’s just how it has to be, we can’t be together, it won’t work. He’s told me plenty of times” 

 

“Maybe he’s scared” His mum said, taking another sip of Louis’ drink. 

 

“Of what?” 

 

“A relationship, dickhead” Niall  said between asking the guy behind the bar for another round. “Has he said why he won’t even try it?” 

 

“Yeah, I mean, he’s adamant we can’t. He says it’s not worth it, one of us will end up hurt at the end of it and he doesn’t want to see that happen” 

 

“Then why are you doing it to yourself?” Niall asked, bluntly. Finally turning to look at him “What exactly are you getting out of this little arrangement? Other than heart break at the end of it? I mean, come on, it’s kinda selfish of him when you think of it” 

 

“How?” Louis frowned, ready to defend his curly haired beauty at any cost. 

 

“Louis, can’t you see? He’s trying to keep you for as long as he can because it’s good for him, not because it’s good for you. You’re doing something for him, you’re keeping him pure, but what has he done for you? Other than make you fall in love with him to inevitably break your heart at the end of it?” 

 

Louis paused, his mouth parted as he searched for an answer. Niall was right, really. He didn’t know what he was getting from this. There was nothing to come out of it at the other side but that was blind to Louis, he didn’t want to lose what he had now. 

 

“He makes me happy. The happiest I have been in a very long time. Can you blame me for wanting to hold onto something while it lasts?” 

 

Niall sighed, grabbing the glasses from the bartender. He placed a drink in front of Louis “I know your happy but this happiness is temporary mate, that’s going to end in heartbreak and that lasts a lifetime. Remember that” 

 

Louis didn’t want to remember that. He could think about that another day. Right now, he was going to keep his phone in his pocket and enjoy the rest of the night. He didn’t need everyone to pity him over his silly love for the curly boy and his emerald eyes. 

 

“Let’s not talk about it” Louis’ mum quickly said “Let’s have another drink before I have to be dragged home by my oldest son, yeah,” 

 

“Cheers to that!” 

 

*** 

 

Louis was stressed, he always was on set. But today more so than ever. He was running out of time and needed to have this movie finished in what was now, only four months. He had two more months of filming in the UK before him and his entire cast and crew would be dragged to Paris to shoot there, it seemed like they had already covered such a massive part of the movie, it wasn’t much more than needed to be filmed other than the beginning and the final ending. But there was still the retakes and the filler scenes. Which took enough time as it was. He was also without his leading actor all morning which made completing some scenes near impossible. 

 

“Louis, the Author and the Producer would like to know if you have finished the scene they asked for? They would like to review it this afternoon” 

 

“Yes, yes, it’s done” Louis sighed “You can collect it from the editor and get it sent over as soon as possible” 

 

“And there was also an email from Fox discussing the release date” 

 

“I’ll deal with that later” He snapped at his assistant, just about had enough patience for one day. “Please, if it’s not life or death then please save it for later” 

 

“Sorry, Mr Tomlinson. Of course” 

 

Louis dismissed her and turned his attention back to his actors that were currently stood on set like a group of useless fools, he took a deep breath as he grabbed his megaphone “Are you all just trying to annoy me today? I asked you to get into places five fucking minutes ago!” 

 

“But, Louis, you didn’t tell us what scene” Timothée shouted back, a confused look across his face. 

 

Louis wanted to slap himself, he was so off key today. He has no idea where his head at but it certainly was not this, probably didn’t help that he was sporting a two day hangover. One more drink turned into countless more and somehow they managed to convince his 45 year old mum to stay out until seven in the morning and ended up in a club for people definitely younger than them all, even Louis at 26, he felt too old to be there but nonetheless, they danced and made a fool of themselves and he had the headache to prove it. 

 

“Sorry” Louis sighed, shaking his head “Alright, scene 24. You meeting fans and then talking to the other lads of the band about Harry’s character” 

 

He melted back into his seat and cued for his second in command to deal with the scene, he had been at this five hours, he needed to hide away in his office for a little while to save himself a headache. 

 

He excused himself, apologised to the cast and left. As soon as he reached his office, he had never been happier to see his comfy leather seat behind the desk. He closed the door behind him and head for the chair in delight, the moment he sat down, he felt relaxed. He knew he had a lot to do, he wasn’t being the most professional but he hadn’t been the entire time anyway. 

 

He sat back in his seat, his head resting back for a few seconds, he could hear the chaos from next door, as they attempted to pull together a scene without Louis’ help which somehow seemed impossible to them but he could deal with that later. He was in several different places at the moment, his hangover being most evident, the goodbye to his mum close second, his no contact from Harry for three days and Niall who had been none stop calling him all morning. He hadn’t answered, it seemed the Irish boy was incapable of understanding that people actually worked quite often - Niall on the other hand, worked for about four months of the year, trained when he could be bothered and then lazed about and annoyed Louis for the rest of the time. 

 

He could feel his phone vibrating in his pocket again but he was too relaxed for the first time all day to even bother to pull it out of it. He knew whatever the issue was, Niall could bother him with it tonight when he inevitably turned up at his house  _ again _ . 

 

But it seemed it would be much sooner than this evening. He was just about to fall asleep for a well deserved nap when his office door barged open. His eyes shot open and he nearly fell off his seat in the process - he pulled himself together, stumbling back into his seat as he gazed up at the door. 

 

“What the fuck?” Louis shouted, holding his chest as he tried to console himself. 

 

“Are you purposely being a dickhead today?” Niall said, he walked in and slammed the door behind him “I must have called you at least fifty times today, what the fuck man?” 

 

“I’ve been working, Niall!” 

 

“Sure looks like it, mate” Niall scoffed, he sat himself on the seat opposite Louis’. 

 

“What’s the big issue? I tend to ignore you all the time, couldn’t you have waited until I got home?”

 

“Nope! Not this mate, I’m sorry but this couldn’t wait” 

 

Louis frowned, staring at his best friend who just stared at him blankly. “Okay?” He urged him, rolling his eyes. 

 

“Have you been on Twitter today? Or even looked at your phone?” 

 

“No… I’ve been too busy, this is the first break I’ve had all day. Why?” 

 

Niall sighed, leaning on the desk with his arms “Is Harry here yet?” 

 

Louis frowned, he glanced at the clock on his wall and shook his head “No, he’s not due back for another half an hour I think. Why? What the fuck is going on?” 

 

“Look, I don’t know… Just don’t freak out, yeah?” Niall cautiously said, he reached into his pocket to get his phone. Louis watched, completely baffled as Niall scrolled through his phone and left him waiting. “Just… Fuck, man. I don’t even know if this is a big deal or not but considering our conversation the other night and…” 

 

“Spit it out, Niall” Louis urged. 

 

Niall reluctantly placed his phone on the desk and slid it over to Louis. Louis’ eyes scrunched up as he gazed at the phone, he sighed over the dramatics of it all. He picked up the phone from the table and grabbed a pair of glasses from beside his laptop, his eyes weren’t working quite properly with the headache he was sporting. 

 

He wasn’t sure what he was going to see, he thought it would be nothing more than a Article about how Nando’s we’re going into bankruptcy and Niall’s heart was broken but what he saw was much worse. 

 

His eyes scanned over the article and his face dropped.

 

——

 

**Harry Styles living up to his Womaniser Image** . 

 

_ Harry Styles was seen leaving his girlfriends party through the back exit, with a lady that is most definitely not Kendall Jenner _ . 

 

Harry Styles was seen arriving at his Model girlfriend Kendall Jenner’s launch party for the arrival of her and her sister Kylie Jenner’s Autumn clothing line. He was seen arriving worse for wear, witnesses described Harry as ‘ _ a drunk mess _ ’’ as he stumbled into the major party of the year alongside his appalled looking girlfriend (Pictures seen below). 

 

Although Harry had arrived to attend such an important point in his long-term girlfriends life, he seemed to have other things in mind than be the doting boyfriend.

 

He was seen leaving the venue only three hours later with a mystery girl, he seemed to show exactly what he was leaving for as the young actor locked lips with the girl and couldn’t keep his hands off her. It was clear that any idea of having a girlfriend was beyond Harry’s thoughts at that very moment. 

 

Has the young actor gone off the rails? Has he lost his way? And most importantly, is this the end of the iconic Hendall? 

 

It’s safe to say Mr Styles has a lot of grovelling to do if he wants to save his relationship. 

 

——

 

“What?” Louis breathed, his eyes wincing at the sight. 

 

He was looking at it as though he was analysing it, he knew drunk Harry at it was evident enough that Harry was beyond out of it at this point. But he was certainly aware enough to have his lips and hands over the blonde girl he was practically dragging back into his car. 

 

He took a deep breath, inhaling all of his anger and his feelings towards it as he slid the phone back over to Niall. He felt his heart drop quite easily at the sight, inside he was in bits, he felt as though his heart had been ripped out of him. He should have known better, he should have walked away from it all before he got in so deep. He should never have allowed himself to fall for Harry, every sign had told him to stop this. Even Harry himself had warned him where this would end. But he didn’t listen, he let himself be used, exactly like Niall had said. 

 

“I’m sorry mate” Niall said, eventually pulling Louis from his thoughts. “I didn’t want to just text you and tell you” 

 

“It’s fine” Louis shook his head, consoling himself “I have no right to be upset, do I?” 

 

“Of course you do” Niall frowned. 

 

“No, I don’t. You’re right, he was using me while he could. It was easy for him to have me here, at his beck and call with no commitment. I was silly to think it could have lead anywhere else, I should have known that” 

 

Niall shook his head, a look of fury across his face. He was protective of Louis, always had been “No, I won’t accept that. I don’t care whether he told you that this wouldn’t lead anywhere or not, Lou! You two were easily anything but  _ just friends _ the past couple of weeks, you have practically lived on top of one another, you were attached to each other’s hips! That’s not just fucking friends with benefits, the guy’s got commitment issues and that’s that. He can stop using the closeting as an excuse but it ain’t working with me” 

 

“Yeah, well, what do you expect me to do Niall?” Louis asked, a harsh tone in his voice. Not directed at him. Directed at the situation. “He fucked someone else, he told me it was casual and I let myself get too involved. What the fuck have I got against him here? He warned me!” 

 

“I don’t give a fuck! You turned that boy into a decent human being, I actually began to tolerate him, now, he disgusts me. You know why he did this, don’t you? Because he’s a scared little boy, so used to his pristine life that was laid out for him that he was scared of a bit of change. And how does he deal with that? By fucking some random girl. You wait until I see him!” 

 

Louis couldn’t process it. It was a strange feeling he had in the pit of his stomach, almost like he knew. He knew that how good everything was going wasn’t going to last forever, it never did, bad things came to Louis. That’s what happened, he was too good, wanted to see the good in everyone like Niall had always told him. And by doing so, he let himself be walked all over and he had just done it again. 

 

“I should…” Louis paused, closing his eyes for a second to recollect himself “I should get back to set” 

 

“You said you were having a break, Louis. Don’t deal with this by overworking yourself. You do this every time” 

 

“I need to” Louis stated. 

 

Niall sighed as he watched his best friend round the desk and head for the door, Louis could feel his eyes on him and he wanted the floor to swallow him whole. Niall grabbed his free wrist as Louis grasped the door with his other. 

 

“I’m coming with you” 

 

Louis nodded, pulling his hand from Niall’s grip. 

 

Niall followed him back on set, the cast were all shocked to see him walking back so quickly, he had been out of the room for twenty minutes at most and usually when Louis walked off, he was gone for a good couple of hours before he walked back in recharged, yelling orders and bellowing praise. But he was silent this time, his eyes focused on his chair as he directed his steps over to it. 

 

Niall pulled a chair with him as he followed Louis and placed it beside his, they sat side by side as the cast went back to scene. Louis sat back, he wanted to look at his phone, but he didn’t dare. He worried in case some of the missed calls and texts that had blown his phone up, were from Harry instead, frantically calling Louis to explain himself before Louis could see the posts all over the internet. His eyes drifted up to the clock on the wall, Harry was due any minute, he didn’t know whether he would actually turn up or be too much of a coward to bother. He was glad Niall was here, that’s for sure. 

 

“That’s a scene” His second in command shouted “Can you all get into your places for the next shot? We want to get through as much as possible… have a brief read of your scripts and we’ll start in five” 

 

Louis watched the cast run off the set and grab their scripts and water from the side, he sighed, his finger and thumb reached up to rub the corner of his eyes. He needed painkillers, his headache was worse than before. 

 

“Hey, Louis. Do we know when Harry will be here? We have the set ready for him next door, we want to get the scenes finished by the end of the day, don’t we?” 

 

Louis sighed, turning his head slowly to look at her and he shrugged “I don’t know. Soon, maybe? When he arrives just make sure he gets into wardrobe straight away, I don’t want any time missed today, he’s already had time off” 

 

“Sure thing, boss. Are you okay? I don’t mean to intrude but you’re really out of it today. I just want to make sure and see if there’s anything I can do for you? The cast and crew kinda live off your attitude, so when you’re feeling down, so is everyone else, you know? We just want you to be happy” 

 

Louis smiled, as much as he could and shook his head “No, sorry, I’m just feeling a little under the weather today. Stress, I guess? We’ve still got so much to do, lack of sleep and everything just getting on top of me” 

 

“As long as you’re sure” She smiled, it soon fell as she turned to the cast to hurry them up. 

 

Louis sat back, glancing at the set up for the day on the sheet that hung on the camera in front of him. They still had so much to do and as much as Louis didn’t want it, they needed Harry today. 

 

“If you’re not feeling up to this today, I can take you home Lou? We can do whatever you want” 

 

Louis shook his head and gave his best friend a short smile “It’s okay. I can’t stop because some boys pissed me off, that would be silly. I have a job to do” 

 

“I’ll stay as long as you need me to. It’s not like I have anything on today anyway” Niall said. 

 

Louis smiled “Thank you. If you’re staying, you should probably know that there’s an order of Nando’s in the kitchen right now waiting for the Cast to finish filming for the morning and…” 

 

Louis didn’t have a chance to finish his sentence, he snorted as he watched Niall head off to the kitchen without a second glance “Idiot” he muttered to himself. 

 

He settled in his seat, waiting for the next scene to start and for Niall to come running back out with a plate full of Chicken and Peri-Peri chips.  He didn’t want to think about Harry but he didn’t have much choice really, he was a part of the film he was making and was a crucial character. He couldn’t run away from it. 

 

Especially when the doors opened to the set room and the man himself walked in, Louis was frantic, staring at the kitchen door and hoping Niall would walk out. But, he didn’t, of course he didn’t. Louis kept his eyes on the scene rather than the actor that walked in, he ignored him as cued for them to start and tapped on his Co-Director to go through something with him that he most certainly already knew as a distraction. 

 

“Can we make sure that we have this sorted by the end of the day?” Louis asked, but sure exactly what he was pointing at on the sheet she was showing him. She nodded and he glanced up her “Can you please make sure that Styles goes  _ straight _ to wardrobe? Please?” 

 

“Sure” She shrugged, grabbing her clipboard back. She glanced over Louis’ shoulder at what was most likely Harry and parted her lips to tell him when they both heard something on set, Louis looked at the smashed chandelier that was laying on the floor and gave up. 

 

“Oh my god” Louis groaned, his face falling into his hands “Can this day get any worse?” 

 

“You want me to sort that?” His Co-Director asked. 

 

Louis dropped his hands and glanced at her “Yes, please. And whoever it was that broke it, it’s coming out of their final paycheck” 

 

“Sure thing!” 

 

Louis’ heart was racing, she had left him, Niall was stuffing his face with Nando’s and now he’s left to deal with his problems on his own and act like the adult he apparently was. 

 

“Hey Lou!” 

 

He took a deep breath, he had to be strong about this, not act like the heartbroken mistress that he felt.

 

He glanced at Harry and his eyes must have physically softened, in front of him, he saw the younger boy he adored so much. He looked into his eyes that he spoke so fondly of and couldn’t see what he saw before, there wasn’t any honesty in them anymore. It was all lies. Louis felt like he was being slightly over dramatic, after all, they weren’t in a relationship. But, he was allowed to be upset, wasn’t he? 

 

“Can you go to wardrobe? You’re late” 

 

Harry tilted his head, a amused frown spreading across his soft features “I’m what?” 

 

“Late, Harry. You were meant to be here ten minutes ago and you weren’t. We’re now behind, because of your inability to understand punctuality, so can you go to wardrobe and get yourself ready?” 

 

“Woah, have we reversed back to the first day? Why are you talking to me like that?” Harry breathed an unsteady laugh, it was clear he was traced with worry. “What’s going on, babe?” 

 

“Don’t call me  _ babe _ , just don’t. Can you please just go to wardrobe, Harry?” 

 

“Fuckin’ hell, Lou. What side of the bed did you wake up on this morning? Three nights without me and you’re back to your grumpy self” Harry teased, an unsure look in his eyes. 

 

“Fuck off, Styles!” Someone shouted, a voice slurred from the obvious mouthful of chicken that was also now falling out of his mouth. 

 

Louis winced, not ready for a confrontation in front of everyone. He glanced at everyone as they stared at the two of them and now Niall who was standing at the door of the kitchen with a plate in his hands. 

 

“Not here. Outside” Louis hissed. 

 

Louis sighed, averting his gaze as he pushed past Harry and walked towards the back doors to the smoking area. He patted his pockets to make sure he had his cig’s in the pocket and was thankful he did. He glanced at Niall as he stood against the wall, watching them. 

 

“I’ll be back in a minute” Louis said, grabbing Niall's free greasy hand as a sign to say  _ it’s okay _ . 

 

“You’re a dickhead, Styles” Niall sang, as they walked past him.  

 

Louis reached the door and used his shoulder to barge the doors open. He breathed in the fresh air as he stepped out, he exhaled once he heard the the steps trying to catch up behind him. 

 

He head for the bench and sat on top of the table, he placed his feet onto the actual seat and pulled his packet and lighter from his pocket. He pulled one from the packet and held it between his lips as he sparked it, the first inhale of smoke was like heaven. Relieving an inch of stress from his shoulders. 

 

As he exhaled, he glanced up and looked at Harry who stood in front of him with an incurable look across his face. He looked completely baffled, waiting for Louis to say something, just anything.

 

“What’s going on Louis? I feel like I’ve just walked into a scene from the movie, talk about dramatic” 

“I don’t… Fuck sake, I don’t even know what to say” 

“I suppose start with what the fuck is up with you?” 

“I was in too deep, too soon” Louis said, inhaling another pull of his cig. “I shouldn’t have got involved with you, Harry. It was a silly idea. I’m the hopeless romantic, who sees the good in everyone and falls in love far too bloody quickly and you’re, well, you’re Harry Styles. You’re the guy who doesn’t do relationships, doesn’t care about anyone, who uses people and gets what they want and I was too naive to see it differently” 

“Woah” Harry said, he took a few steps forward so he was closer to Louis but not close enough that Louis would move away. “What’s this all about?” 

“I can’t do this” Louis said, gesturing between the two of them “This. Whatever this is. Your friends with benefits thing, it doesn’t work, it won’t work. I’m not that kinda guy, when I like someone, I want all of them. Not just a part of them they want to give me!” 

“Louis… Why are you saying all of this now?” 

“Because! Here I was, at home with my Mum and Niall, drinking, having such a good night and who was I thinking about? You! Fucking you! And what were you thinking about? Getting your dick in some blonde! That’s why I’m saying this” Louis hissed “It’s fucking stupid!” 

“I… Louis, we aren’t…” 

“Don’t” Louis shook his head. He inhaled a sharp breath and exhaled as he glanced back up at Harry “Don’t say ‘We aren’t together’ because I know that. I have no right to be annoyed, I understand that but I am. Is it so wrong of me to have hoped that I was actually getting somewhere with you? Like, I could actually have changed your mind?” 

Harry stated at him blankly, his lips parting and closing numerous times as he tried to find the right thing to say. 

“Look. It’s not your fault, it’s mine, isn’t it? Because I got too involved with you, I should have stayed professional and not pursued this. So, I’m sorry for that” Louis inhaled the smoke from his cigarette. “I’m going to say we stop this thing we have going on, now. Let’s concentrate on our jobs, get this shit done and leave it at that” 

“Hey, don’t I get a say in this?” Harry frowned as he stepped back. “I’m sorry Lou, but this involves the both of us. You can’t just tell me what’s going to happen and I’m not going to just accept that - Look, I know you’re upset, I guess I should have expected that but nothing happened… I mean, I kissed the girl, I did ask her to come home with me but I was too fucking drunk and passed out before anything could happen” 

“Oh, you should have said. That makes it so much better, Harry” Louis rolled his eyes, he flicked his cig to the floor with a huff. 

“Louis, stop it. You’re right, you did get in too deep. You shouldn’t have fell for me because you know fine fucking well that I can’t do this” Harry’s voice was firm, he was gesturing his hand between the two of them “I said to you that we couldn’t do it, it would never work because you would end up hurt at the end of this all. And you already are! But, so am I” 

“You can’t be” Louis refused “Because, if you were, what I ask of you, it shouldn’t be a hard decision to make” 

“But it is. That’s life, Lou. This isn’t a fucking fairytale! This is real life and shit doesn’t work out like it does in the movies, it’s full of hate, hardships and heartbreak and that’s that” 

Louis nodded “Yeah, you’re right. And the thing is, you’ll never know what real heartbreak is Harry, because you just can’t let yourself become vulnerable for even a second. I mean, I could literally kneel in front of you and beg you to let me try and help you in this situation and beg you to let me be by your side through it all and you would still say no. No, like the media trained performing monkey that you are” 

“That’s harsh” 

“So is this. Look, it was great while it lasted and I’m glad we both had fun. But, like you said, this ain’t no fairytale and this has to come to an end,  _ now _ ” 

“Fuck sake, Lou! Stop being so dramatic… we don’t have to stop anything at all, we’re both happier when we’re together, we work so well. Why would you want to throw all of that away because I was drunk and did something stupid?” 

Louis shook his head, a small exhale of breath falling from his parted lips “because I was once that drunk mistake of yours and I don’t want to be the story you tell to the next person who gets attached to you. I have dignity, Harry. And that dignity means I don’t see myself as Harry Styles’ _ side chick _ . I’m an adult, I want an adult relationship and seeing as you’ve made it so clear that’s not going to happen, then this needs to stop” 

“You were never a fucking  _ side chick _ , Louis. And you know that. C’mon, love. Let’s go inside, finish filming and then we can go back to mine and talk about all this, yeah? Rationally” 

Louis shook his head and jumped down to stand on his two feet, he bit his lip as he approached Harry. He grasped Harry’s hand in his own and glanced up at the taller lad “I'm sorry, H. This stops. Now” 

  
  



	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don’t you hate when the boys aren’t speaking? Because same. 
> 
> Here’s some songs I listened to while writing this chapter, I was extremely hungover when I did I basically just wrote about all the alcohol I wish I hadn’t consumed. These songs make me wanna get lit. 
> 
> Rudimental - Waiting all night.   
> Fuse ODG - Azonto (UK radio edit) idk why.   
> Sigma & Ella Eyre - Came here for love   
> Mabel - cigarette.   
> Gym class heroes - Cupid’s chokehold   
> Gerry Cinnamon - belter

Louis was sat back in his seat, staring out at the scene going on ahead of him. His actors were performing some scene towards the end of the movie and they had as little as three days to complete all of this before him, the entire cast and crew and all of their equipment would be hauled across the ocean to France for their next adventure. 

 

His mind was elsewhere than what was going on, or the fact he had to concentrate on his job. The entire project seemed a little too close to him at that moment, the story behind it. Other than the fact that the two characters were madly in love and in his reality, he fancied Harry and Harry had no care whatsoever about Louis or his feelings. 

 

He wished things would have ended slightly different, he wondered if he was too harsh or if the end of their conversation could have avoided all of the drama if Louis hadn’t have been so over dramatic, as Harry stated. 

 

_ “Are you fucking serious?” Harry asked, a frown across his face as he stood in front of Louis to stop him from leaving. “No, that’s not good enough. You can’t just decide this ends now, like you’ve got control over this and it’s not involving the both of us Louis. Can’t you see how childish you’re being?”  _

 

_ Louis stepped back, distancing himself from Harry “Are you serious? I’m childish? Says the one who is too scared to be in a relationship! A real fucking one!”  _

 

_ “That’s low, even for you. You know I can’t”  _

 

_ “You can. You chose not to. I understand you have signed a contract and I know that it’s hard for you, but do you ever stop and think that having someone who cares for you by your side would make it easier?”  _

 

_ “Louis, you know nothing. What, you walk into my life and you suddenly know everything? You don’t. This is my fucking reality, I know how this shit ends”  _

 

_ “Well, great for you” Louis snorted “it’s a good thing it’s ended now then, isn’t it?”  _

 

_ “That’s not fucking fair! You can’t call it off with me because of a stupid mistake. I didn’t even fucking sleep with her!”  _

 

_ “That’s not the point, you absolute…” Louis groaned, he was so frustrated “What don’t you understand here? It’s fucking done Harry, why can’t you just accept that? You don’t want a fucking relationship!”  _

 

_ “Because… I just… fuck, you know what Lou? Fine! Have it your way. You’re too fucking stubborn, but to end what we have, the way we make each other feel, over some fucking random girl on a night out… well, that’s just pathetic”  _

 

_ Louis nodded, a sarcastic smile across his face. “Okay. Now, how about you get inside, get into wardrobe and do your actual fucking job? And I’ll do mine”  _

 

He knew that both him and Harry were stubborn so neither would back down even if they thought they were in the wrong. That’s now how they worked and Louis was not going to change that any time soon. 

 

He was watching his cast as they all laughed and spoke together, huddled up around the snack table, no Harry in sight as per usual. Always late. Most likely causing a scene in wardrobe because he didn’t like his T-Shirt or his concealer wasn’t to his taste. 

 

“Hey, Lou!” His co-director approached him, she was all smiles and Louis hated it. How could everyone be so happy when everything was so stressful? 

 

“Hey” Louis greeted, a false smile appearing across his face. He inched himself up in his seat “What’s up? 

 

“Tonight, we’re all thinking of having a night out! The whole crew and cast?” She encouraged “It’s been a real stressful time, with the deadline and all and we know we’re gonna be super busy as of Monday. So, why don’t we all have a bit of fun?” 

 

“I don’t know…” Louis pondered, sighing as he thought of all the preparations he needed to make before France. 

 

“C’mon Lou, you need a break as well. Niall’s already said he’ll be there and it’ll be good for the cast to see you relaxed” 

 

“Wait...” Louis frowned “Niall? He doesn’t even work here. What the fuck?” 

 

“He’s been spending time with Tim, took him golfing on his day off or something. He invited him” She shrugged, standing in front of him with a friendly smile “C’mon, what do you say? It’ll be fun” 

 

Louis sighed, he was defeated. Even his best friend was going. He had no hope of refusal “Sure. We’ll all finish at five today. Where are we all meeting?” 

 

“We were thinking of local pub and then head up North Greenwich, that club called Studio 338?” 

 

“Sure” Louis shrugged. “I’m up for that” 

 

She grinned widely and turned her back to him, she put her arms above her head and shouted “The boss is in guys! And early finish today” 

 

He watched amused as they all cheered with smiles, he snorted and shook his head at them all. “Idiots”. 

 

“Oh. You should also be warned” She said, peering at him over her shoulder “Apparently Harry’s on a warpath today… turns out his golden boy persona is long gone” 

 

“Great, just what I need” 

 

“Good luck” She snorted, walking away from him towards the crowd of cast members at the snack table. 

 

Louis sighed, he lent back and reached for his phone. He unlocked it and swiped onto his texts, he searched for Niall’s name in his recent texts and began typing. 

 

_ Arranging a night out with my cast and crew ? Niall , u play golf !! Ur not an actor mate !  _

 

He pressed send and placed his phone onto his lap, he glanced up at the clock “Guys, can someone please go and get Harry? Next scene needs to be ready to go in ten minutes Max!” He shouted, he watched as his assistant was quick to leave the room on the hunt for Harry. 

 

He felt his phone vibrate on his lap, quick response, not shocking. Niall was never doing anything. His phone was constantly his hand. 

 

Yeah I did mate . Turns out actors are much more fun than me golf pals hahahah . You’re coming right ? I mean , about time my best friend came back to me now that loverboy has fucked up 

 

He rolled his eyes, Niall had never liked Harry so it was no surprise he was happy to see it came to an end. 

 

I am indeed mate . Maybe I’ll pull a really fit lad :) come mine at 6 ? 

 

The reply came a short minute later. 

 

Yes !!!! Lads on the pull , buzzzzzzin ! We’ll get you over that curly haired prick in no time . I’m already at your house , let myself in an hour ago ! See u tonight x

 

Louis frowned, his mouth parted. 

 

Stop letting yourself into my house whenever u want !!! 

 

He sent the text and shoved his phone back into his pocket as he tried to conjure up a plan on how he could steal his spare key back from Niall. Just as he had nestled back in his seat, analysing their programme for the next couple of days, the doors opened from beside him and by the ridiculous loud slam and stomping feet he could tell who it was without looking. 

 

Back to day one it seemed. 

 

“This fucking outfit is disgusting” 

 

Louis rolled his eyes, he placed the programme onto his lap and glanced to his side. Harry was storming in his direction which was never a good thing, he knew fine well that because of yesterday he was going to be the one on the receiving end of his tantrums. 

 

“It’s for your character, Harry. We’re not asking you to walk the streets in it” Louis sighed, leaning against his hand as his elbow rested on the arm of his chair. 

 

“Who even wears orange? I’m meant to be a member of a boyband and I dress like a fucking lunatic” 

 

“Oh well” Louis said, eyes staring blankly at Harry as he awaited another complaint. “Have you read the change in the script? They were emailed to you last night” 

 

“Yes, I’m fully aware of my email account Louis” 

 

Louis frowned, a short laugh escaping his breath. The long haired, stroppy actor stood in front of him like a moody toddler, arms crossed and everything. 

 

“I didn’t ask that, I asked if you read the script” Louis smirked, noting the annoyance in Harry’s face. “No need to be so angry” 

 

“Yeah, well, I don’t want to be here” 

 

“Here? As in the set? The movie? In this world? Because same” 

 

Harry scowled at him, it wasn’t a real annoyed expression, merely put on for the sake of their argument the night before. And it was hard for Louis not to laugh. He was stupidly awful at pretending to be angry. 

 

“Look, H. This can’t affect this movie, yeah? I know you’re pissed off and surprisingly, so fucking am I” Louis noted “But, we’re professionals, yeah? And we work so much better without you acting stroppy… Seeing as I know what you’re really like, can I suggest you drop the act and just do what you do best?” 

 

Harry glared at him like he was fighting his own mind, like he was trying to conjure up a response that wasn’t going to seem like he had backed down or given in so easily. But as his eyes softened, he knew Louis was right. 

 

“I still think you’re a dick” Louis said, quickly. Before Harry could speak “and you’ve annoyed me so much. And I don’t want anything to do with you on a personal level, but you’re a fucking good actor. So act it” 

 

“Whatever” Harry huffed. “You’re still being childish” 

 

“Oh, please” Louis rolled his eyes “Not here” 

 

“What? Don’t want people to know that you’re refusing to carry on seeing me because I kissed some girl?” 

 

“Oh, so you want your secret out then?” Louis challenges “If so, I can just shout it as an announcement? Tell everyone what we’ve been up to? It would be exciting to see who runs to the press first!” 

 

“You’re a dick” 

 

“On set, please” Louis winked. 

 

He watched as Harry fought himself for a few seconds before he gave in, he turned his back to Louis and walked away towards the rest of the cast. He waited until he was away from him before his shoulders physically relaxed, slumping over. 

 

Despite how annoyed he was, it was hard to be annoyed at someone who he adored just yesterday morning. He couldn’t even admire how tired and innocent he looked when he attempted a grumpy face, he was too concerned with the fact this boy had no care for anyone else’s feelings but his own. And he never would. 

 

The day continued the same, Louis and Harry would bicker here and there but other than that Harry was being particularly normal. He did his job, spoke with the other cast members, laughed with the producers and was all round a decent human being. And Louis was thankful for that. Despite his own annoyance, his day seemed to go fairly well. 

 

By the time five came around, all of the cast were cheering at the thought of getting blackout drunk that evening and forgetting the movie completely and at that point, Louis was cheering with them. 

 

“See you tonight, boss!” Timotheè winked, exiting the room with a laugh. 

 

“Can’t wait to see Louis drunk” Another mumbled as he followed the rest out of the cast out of the room. 

 

Louis said his ‘see you later’ and excused himself to his car, ignoring the fact that Harry had parked beside him and was following his exact movements as they reached for their drivers doors. Harry was slowly turning around and Louis didn’t want to give him even a chance, he got in his car and had reversed out of the car park before Harry had even turned the entire way around. 

 

He knew that when he got home, he would be faced with a cheery Irish man who would most likely have eaten and drank the contents of his house, created a mess and was surrounded by crumbs on his sofa. 

 

And he was right. 

 

As soon as he walked into his apartment, he actually laughed. He had pushed it this time, he had arranged the sofas so they faced inwards at each other and he had positioned himself in the middle. He had empty crisp packets beside him, empty beer bottles and chocolate on his chest. It was the bottle of Gin and Lemonade placed on the coffee table that Louis caught sight of. 

 

Niall saw where Louis was staring and grinned widely “Ah, that my dear friend is our pre-drinks. Tonight’s the night, my friend. You’ll be getting over Curly bollocks and we’ll be steaming drunk before we even turn up there” 

 

Louis snorted “Sounds great. I’m going for a shower, I strongly suggest you use the guest one. You’re turning into the food you eat, you have crumbs in your hair” 

 

Niall frowned, attempting to look at the top of his own head and Louis sighed “You’re a mess, Niall” 

 

“But, I’m your mess” 

 

“Sadly” Louis nodded with a short laugh. 

 

Louis had what was the quickest shower of his life, for sure. He had smothered himself in body wash and had rinsed and dried off within fifteen minutes. He had towelled himself dry and shoved on a comfy pair of shorts and a plain shirt, he knew if he got dressed for the night now, he would end up with ten different unknown stains and probably some damages. He chose wisely. 

 

He walked out into his lounge, one hand reaching up to towel dry his hair. He stopped in his tracks as he saw Niall, the sofas now moved into their rightful place, the food and rubbish now cleared away and Niall was sat on the edge of one of the sofas wrapped in a guest towel and a controller in his hand. 

 

“I was literally ten minutes, _ if that _ . How the fuck are you showered and cleaned up already?” 

 

“The world works in mysterious ways” 

 

“What… Nope, not even going to ask. I don’t want to know how your mind works” Louis shook his head. 

 

“No, I wouldn’t either” Niall shrugged. He glanced up at the clock and down at the bottle of gin with a smirk “Shall we?” 

 

“We fucking shall” 

 

Louis and Niall were sat on his sofa, three gin and lemonades in and were singing along to the music that played in the background. Neither of them had even bothered to get ready yet, both far too comfy sat alone on the sofas drinking their miseries away. 

 

Louis remembered back in Uni, when he and Niall would spend their Friday nights drinking multiple types of alcohol, listening to Ed Sheeran and would cry about all of their exams, dissertations and how their life was the worst. He always knew that when they were both successful they would end up sat in Louis’ London apartment drunk on Gin. Well, not that exact, but close. 

 

“We need to get ready!” Niall noticed the time. He shot up in his seat, he lifted his glass to his lips and downed the remainder of the alcohol. “Okay, get dressed, do your hair or whatever and then we’ll finish off this bottle and go and meet everyone” 

 

“Plan!” Louis cheered, he was tipsy already. He was more than aware that if he carried on drinking at this pace he would end up stupidly drunk before the night even started and would end up starting dance battles with James Corden again. 

 

The probability of James Corden being in some bar in London was highly unlikely but he could hope. 

 

He wasn’t sure how it happened, really he wasn’t. All he remembered was Niall forcing drinks down his neck every time his empty glass would hit the bar and the next thing he knew, he was dancing with Niall as they sang along to England’s World Cup song in a pub full of strangers. He knew that every action he made tonight he would relive until the movie had finished production, especially with Timothee who had his phone out videoing every possible aspect of embarrassment Louis could fathom. 

 

“Oi, oi!” Louis shouted, cheering as Niall walked over with another tray of shots. He turned to the people that were working with him “See? He’s not even working for me and he’s buying me alcohol. What happened to buying the bosses affection?” 

 

“You’d scold us for it for weeks” Timothee snorted “I like to watch, them I can hold it against you on Monday” 

 

Louis frowned, staring at Tim “You’re a sneaky one. I like you. You’re not fired” 

 

“Oh, thank you ever so much” Timothee laughed.

 

Louis grinned sloppily and turned back to Niall, he was stood behind Louis with two shots in hand. “Two for you, two for me!” 

 

Louis winced as he sniffed it “What is it?” 

 

“I don’t know, straight Jäger I think” Niall shrugged. 

 

That was enough. Louis had already lifted one of the two to his lips and let the burning liquid pour down the back of his throat with a wince “Wow. That’s not jäger, whatever it is, it’s strong as shit. I love it” 

 

“Cheers to that” Niall said, holding up his second shot glass. Louis laughed, clinking his with Niall’s. 

 

The two of them drank the shot at the same time and cheered as they placed the empty glasses onto the bar. 

 

“I’m drunk” Niall laughed, his eyes red and smile sloppy. 

 

“Yeah… same” Louis snorted, leaning his arm against the edge of the bar “We’ve still got to make it to the bar, so we should keep drinking” 

 

“How does that make sense? That’ll make us worse” 

 

“I don’t know” Louis shrugged “The drunker we are, the more fun we are?” 

 

“That’s Logic enough for me” Niall laughed, he turned to the bar and ushered over someone from behind the bar “Hi mate, can we have two of whatever strong sort of cocktail you can come up with? Like just a fuck tonne of alcohol?” 

 

The guy frowned “Are you sure?” 

 

“Yeah, I mean, loads… we’ll pay whatever” 

 

“Okay… I guess” He drawled. 

 

“Good man” Niall smiled, he turned to Louis “Well, let’s see if this can be our messiest night yet” 

 

“Plan!” 

 

Of course, that was a terrible idea. Both Louis and Niall regretted it after their first sip but, the troopers that they were, they continued to drink the concoction that was their 100% alcohol cocktail and wincing with every sip. 

 

Louis and Niall were in a full blown conversation with two of the producers, along with Timotheè and some extra who was on the set today. They were in a in-depth explanation of a movie plot that Louis and Niall were certain would be a number one hit, but the amused looks on the faces of the people in front said different. 

 

“So then… A guy who looks like Jonah Hill but isn’t Jonah Hill… Like Seth Rogen but not Seth Rogen, anyway, he would come in and he’d be like this police officer who is high all the time” Louis explained animatedly “and he’d have a sidekick called, Jeff” 

 

“My names Jeff” Niall laughed. 

 

“Yeah” Louis frowned, carrying on “And he’s a dog… No, a fish. WAIT. A donkey, yes, a police officer with a sidekick that’s a donkey” 

 

“And the donkey has a backpack. It has stuff in, like, secret pigeons and stuff” 

 

“Pigeons?” Timotheè questioned. 

 

“Yeah” Louis and Niall nodded together. 

 

“Right…” 

 

Louis sipped his drink with a wince “and then, the pigeon talks. And he tells the donkey and the Seth Rogen who’s not Seth Rogen but looks like Jonah Hill but isn’t Jonah Hill Guy, that there’s a bad guy coming for them and his name is…” 

 

“Henry Stoles” Niall added in. 

 

Louis turned to Niall with a bark of a laugh, he hit his arm with amusement and nodded “Yes! The most evil guy ever, he’s all high and mighty, thinks he’s royalty and a massive dick. Turns out he’s got little dick syndrome” 

 

“Oh my god” Niall was in a fit of laughter, his drink spilling from his mouth. “Amazing” 

 

“I don’t understand…” One of the producers finally said. 

 

“What don’t you get?” Louis frowned. 

 

“What’s the plot?” 

 

“Isn’t it obvious? It’s a Seth Rogen but not Seth Rogen but looks like Jonah Hill but isn’t-“ 

 

“No, no” They shook their head “I get that bit… but what’s the actual plot of the movie?” 

 

“Don’t know” Louis shrugged, gulping the remainder of his drink “I haven’t figured that out yet” 

 

“Wow” Timotheè snorted “Louis, you’re a genius” 

 

“Excuse me! I thought of the donkey” Niall pouted. 

 

“And you too, guy who doesn’t actually work on the movie but is constantly with us” Timotheè laughed. 

 

“I’m never inviting you golfing again” 

 

Louis smiled, he turned to the bar and ushered for the man to bring over two more drinks. He could fit one more in before everyone gathered up to head over to the actual bar they were meant to have gone to an hour ago, but Louis had somehow convinced them all to stay. 

 

“One more” Louis said, turning to the group he was with “And then we go! It’s only around the corner anyway” 

 

“It’s fine, I’ll get myself one too” Timotheè nodded. 

 

“Do you ever wonder who found alcohol?” Louis asked. 

 

Tim frowned, his eyebrows scrunching together “What?” 

 

“Like, who was it that decided to just drink this thing one day and decide it was alcohol? Like, how much did they try? Do you think they puked up?” 

 

“I don’t know Louis” 

 

“Shame. I’m interested… Wait! Maybe that’s a movie!” 

 

“What? A guy discovering alcohol for the first time?” 

 

Louis nodded with a grin “and you can be my star!” 

 

“I mean… I’m flattered, really I am. But I was kinda hoping to be your Seth Rogen and Jonah Hill Star” 

 

“But you can’t be” Louis frowned, it soon turned to a smile as the bartender brought over his drinks. 

 

“Why?” 

 

“Because you don’t look like either of them! Duh!” 

 

“Right… I mean, I could try?” 

 

“Nope” Louis shook his head, he handed over the money to the guy and told him to keep the change. He pulled his own drink closer and turned back to Timotheè “I really loved Call me by your name, it was beautiful. It was easily one of the most stunning cinematic performances I have ever seen in my life” 

 

“Woah” Timotheè nervously laughed, he reached a hand up to rub the back of his neck “Thank you, I’m honoured” 

 

“It was one of the best Coming of age LGBT movies of our generation… I actually wanted to direct it, still gutted I didn’t. But I don’t think I would have gave it the justice it deserved” 

 

“I’m sure you would have put your own special touch” 

 

“Touché, my young friend, touche” 

 

“You know… I kinda idolise you, Louis. I’m so glad you allowed me to be a part of your movie. The things you manage to do, I mean, it’s insane. I never thanked you so I guess now is a good time. Even though you’re stupid drunk and won’t remember in the morning” 

 

“True. But I appreciate it” Louis smiled, genuinely “It sounds weird but it’s nice to actually be appreciated. To know that you are genuinely grateful, it’s refreshing… and I’m stupid fucking drunk right now” 

 

“Well, I’m glad” Timotheè laughed. 

 

Louis smiled into his glass, taking a few large gulps of the burning liquid, it didn’t even taste nice. It was a mix of disgusting tasting spirits and he hated it. But, it was doing the job he and Niall set out to do. 

 

He winced, his upper body shook at the taste and he looked at Timotheè and held out his tongue “it tastes like the sick that will come from my mouth later on” 

 

“Ew” 

 

“I know” 

 

Timotheè took a sip of his beer and his soft smile soon flattened into a frown, he placed his glass down “Who invited curly bollocks?” 

 

“What? Who?”

 

“Harry” Timotheè said, nodding behind him. 

 

Louis rolled his eyes. “Great” he glanced over his shoulder, he watched as the tall lad walked into the pub. The amount of people who were now staring in his direction was unreal, the crowded, loud, boisterous pub was now near silent as people realised who it was. 

 

Louis noticed how refreshed he looked, his hair no longer pulled up in every direction, it lay natural against his shoulders, the light from the bar nearly reflected against the shiny locks. His eyes were piercing green, scattering in every direction as he greeted the people he knew. He was dressed… well, stunning. The skinniest of black jeans, they stuck to his thighs like they belonged there. He was wearing a ridiculous shirt, so ridiculous that it couldn’t possibly suit anyone but him. Covered in flamingos, seriously, who could pull that off? His tattoos were on show for all to see and it was mesmerising to see them scatter across his newly tanned skin from his visit to LA. He looked beautiful. 

 

Louis hated it. 

 

Mainly due to the fact that only a mere week ago he had that beautiful man laying beside him in his bed, naked, his skin touching his own. Those fair pink lips attached to every inch of his body and… he was fucked. He hated him but lusted him all at the same time. 

 

He only drew his attention from him once Niall had arrived in front of him, hanging onto Louis’ arm like a lost limb. 

 

“I’m fucking…” He hiccuped “fucked, Louis. Like, I’m… so fucking drunk right now. We need to finish these drinks and move on or I’m…” he paused as the song changed “I love this fucking song!” 

 

“You two are unreal” Timotheè laughed, watching as Louis and Niall clung to each other in support. 

 

“Last drink and we move on!” Louis declared, holding his drink up. He heard the other cast and crew cheer at the statement. He turned to Timotheè again “Drink up, kid!” 

 

Louis’ plan was simple. He was going to carry on drinking an extremely unhealthy amount of alcohol, binge drink his way through the night, dance with hot guys in the bar, kiss whoever he wanted and not take notice of Harry Styles’ existence at all. 

 

But it was hard to do that when he had Niall and Timotheè linked onto his arms as they walked to the next bar and Harry was walking right in front of them alongside Louis’ co-Director Sarah. He decided he hated her now. She was on the enemy’s side. 

 

“So… our plan” Niall slurred “Firstly, we need to act sober when we get there, cause… we’re fucked” 

 

“Yes!” Louis cheered. 

 

“We have a jäger bomb each, including Timotheè because he’s not drunk enough” Niall said, turning to frown at the younger lad “And then we go and dance and find someone for Louis to shag tonight” 

 

“Oh, you’re on the pull, are you?” Timotheè wiggled his eyebrows, tightening his grip on Louis’ arm. 

 

“Yes! I bloody am… I mean, I might not… shag someone but I mean, I’ll kiss every pretty boy I see!” 

 

“Not think you’ll regret that tomorrow?” 

 

Louis frowned, he glanced up to see both Harry and Sarah looking behind them to look at Louis. 

 

“Sarah, did I ask for your input?” Louis asked, tilting his head “no, I did not. Now I’m going to kiss as many pretty boys as I like and you’re gonna watch with wonder, wishing you could do the same!” 

 

Sarah laughed, a fond smile across her face “Babe, I’m married, with kids. I’m not wishing anything” 

 

Louis shrugged, he could see Harry still glaring at him and he didn’t care to find out why. In fact, he knew why and that’s exactly why he was going to push this as far as he could just to irritate him. 

 

They made it into the club - surprisingly, considering both Niall and Louis stumbled in on top of eachother. He still couldn’t believe how drunk he was, he had not been in a state like this since he was eighteen, literally his eighteenth birthday. And he was… well, loving it. 

 

He and Niall did as they said they would, including Tim of course and ended up having two Jäger bombs each. Louis winked at the bartender and ended up getting a three third one but that was a hush thing. 

 

He was straight onto the dance floor, refusing to join everyone else on the movie who had chosen to sit at the VIP booth that they had booked earlier on. He allowed Niall and Timotheè to join them, even though he did protest for quite some time. He knew that if he sat down he would fall asleep, he needed to keep going, keep drinking and dance the night away. 

 

He shuffled his way through the mass of people until he found a clear spot right in the middle, he listened as their friend Liam’s music began to play, he noted that it seemed to play everywhere he went now. He was doing so well for himself. But he could admire Liam’s success any other day. Right now, he was dancing away to Bedroom Floor, humming along to the music as he did. He probably wasn’t dancing on beat, after all, he was a small white British lad from Doncaster who’s only knowledge of dancing was shuffling side to side. But, in his drunken haze he was swaying his hips side to side, attempting a seductive slut drop here and there. His humming soon changed to full blown singing, he was in his own little world and he was loving it. 

 

“You said it was over, but you’re clothes say different on my bedroom floor” He shouted the lyrics, he saw a lad approach him, dancing in front of him with a smile on his face. Instead of pulling him in, he continued his shouting like the crazed idiot he was “but your clothes say different on my bedroom floor, but your clothes say different on my bedroom floor, but your clothes say different on my bedroom floor” 

 

“Do they now?” They lad asked, cocking an eyebrow and Louis appreciated the confidence. 

 

He was handsome, a little taller than Louis, dressed like every twenty something lad this generation and had a bit of stubble going on. Louis said he would do what he wanted tonight, so, after considering his attractiveness for a moment or two, he shrugged. 

 

“Yeah, I think so” Louis said, he stepped forward and reached his hand up to the back of the strangers neck and pulled his face down to his own. 

 

Louis touched lips with him, pulling him closer so he could part the strangers lips with tongue, there he was making out with a complete stranger on the middle of a dance floor in one of London’s best clubs for everyone to see. He could hear the whistling behind him, which was most likely Niall egging him on. 

 

He pulled back with a pop, winked at the guy and then walked away. That was enough, his lips were nowhere near soft enough for him. He shuffled through the crowd, swaying his hips along with strangers and made his way to the bar with a grin. 

 

That was one down, his mental plan was to do that with at least three more people, just for comfort. 

 

He reached the bar and his forearms laid crossed against it, he glanced up at the guy that was stood in front of him behind it. He was looking at Louis with a fond smile, Louis hasn’t said a word to him other than smile oddly at him. 

 

“Are you wanting a drink mate?” The guy laughed. 

 

“What do you suggest?” 

 

He shrugged, leaning back on the wall behind him. “What’s your taste?” 

 

“Sweet. But bitter” Louis smirked “Something that looks nice on the outside but, once you’ve tasted it, it just surprises you. You know?” 

 

The bartender nodded, clearly realising Louis’ attempt at flirting. And all Louis hoped for was that the guy wasn’t straight and he had just embarrassed himself completely. 

 

“I’ll see what I can do” He winked and Louis giggled to himself. He was having far too much fun. 

 

He decided, he would try and get a cheeky kiss from this guy, get his drink and then head back to the table so he can boast about in front of Harry and then convince everyone to take shots with him. But as he was thinking about what he was going to do, it dawned on him, the fact that everything he had done since Harry arrived was to attempt to make him jealous, piss him off or just watch his face drop. He just wanted Harry to feel how he felt. But, thinking about it, that was a silly idea. How could Harry possibly feel how he felt? When he didn’t feel that way for Louis. 

 

He had spent an hour and a half of his night trying to force a feeling onto the guy he was lusting over and there was absolutely no point in it whatsoever. 

 

He glanced up at the guy behind the bar who was busy making Louis a drink and he bit his lip, he was good looking, he was really traditional looking in the face but his arms and neck were covered in tattoos. He looked… edgy? And Louis was feeling it. Would it be so wrong if Louis used sleeping with strangers as a way to get over Harry? Because he was definitely considering it. 

 

He smiled as the guy brought Louis a multi coloured cocktail over, he placed in front of Louis and lit the sparkler with a laugh “Is that nice enough looking?” 

 

Louis laughed, watching the sparkler. He glanced up at him and nodded “Perfect. What’s in it?” 

 

“You wanted something with a kick, yeah? It’s a mix of different flavoured liquors and then Gin, vodka and rum. It sounds disgusting but it tastes, amazing” 

 

“How much?” Louis asked. 

 

“On the house, my treat” The guy smiled fondly. “You’re the best looking guy I’ve seen all night and you managed to make me smile considering this has been the worst night I’ve worked in ages, so, it’s all yours” 

 

Louis smiled, glancing at him through his lashes “That’s really nice of you, thank you. Glad I could make you smile” 

 

“Hey… if you’re around after my shift, how about I come find you? I mean, you don’t have to of course. We could just have a drink together and a chat?” 

 

Louis pondered for a second, mainly over the fact he seemed to only attract extremely good looking men who served drinks for a living. But, he nodded anyway “Yeah, if I’m still here, for sure. When do you finish?” 

 

“Not until 3 in the morning, but, you never know” 

 

“If not, I’m sure I’ll make sure to come and visit you another time” 

 

“Yeah? Well, next time you come to the bar I may have to drop you my number” 

 

“We’ll see” Louis laughed, he picked up his drink with a smile. “Thanks… Again” 

 

“Enjoy your evening…” He paused, waiting for Louis to sag his name. 

 

“Oh, Louis” 

 

“Well, enjoy your evening Louis. I’m Jake by the way” 

 

“Thanks Jake, enjoy your dreadful shift!” 

 

Jake snorted, he rolled his eyes “Yeah, thanks mate” 

 

Louis left the bar with a giddy feeling in his body, he may have allowed himself to be completely washed over with the thought of himself and Harry. But, he didn’t have to let it consume him. He didn’t need to be upset forever over a situation out of his control, he had so many chances to find his forever and it might even be a cute guy who works in a bar or a hot stranger. All he knew, he needed to get over Harry. Soon. 

 

He was shuffling towards the corner where the booth was over seated with all of his friends and co-workers, he was too drunk to be carrying a drink that was near enough overflowing. His eyes were focused on the drink rather than anything else, anyone who came near him, he simply barged them out of the way. 

 

He knew he was close when he heard Niall’s roar of laughter, but, just as he was barging someone else out of the way he felt someone grab his elbow and suddenly he was being dragged. He watched with a pout as the top of his drink spilled in a trail in the direction he was being pulled. Which really, should not have been his main issue at that very moment. 

 

“What the fuck!” Louis shouted. 

 

He finally glanced up to see Harry’s face close to his own, he noted his surroundings, he was no longer inside the bar, he was in some grubby backroom, it was near enough pitch black bar the lights that streamed in slightly from the main room. He felt the roaring music from next door vibrate against his feet. 

 

“What the fuck are you doing?” Louis asked, although he was more interested in trying to take a sip of this drink. He put his lips to the straw and swallowed some, he winced “oh wow, that’s fucking strong. He weren’t lying. Do you wanna try?” 

 

“No, Louis. What the fuck was that out there?” 

 

Louis glanced up innocently, eyes wide as he continued sipping on the rainbow drink “What?” 

 

“We have been in here twenty minutes and you’ve already necked off with some random pervert and flirted your way into a free drink with the bloke behind the bar, are you purposely trying to fucking piss me off?” 

 

“I don’t know what you’re on about” 

 

“Is this your way at getting me back? Because if so, you are even more childish than I thought” 

 

“I’m just trying to have a good night” 

 

“Yeah?” Harry snorted “By whoring yourself off to anyone and everyone? Fucking hell, Lou. You’re out with the people you work with, plus, you’re a fucking well known person. You’re going to be all over tomorrow’s papers!” 

 

“I don’t care about that” 

 

“What?” Harry frowned, standing back. He nearly hit his head, which wasn’t a surprise seeing as he had easily picked the smallest room possible. 

 

“Why would I care? What, because a bunch of people saw me kiss someone?” Louis laughed bitterly, he paused to take another sip of his drink. “I don’t give a fuck. It’s my life, it’s no one else’s business. If they want to print a load of shit about me, let them. At least I’m enjoying my life” 

 

“You just don’t get it do you” 

 

Louis sighed “What don’t I get Harry? Because I fucking well heard enough from you yesterday. I’m enjoying myself, I’m single and have no commitment” 

 

“You weren’t doing this shit when you were shagging me!” 

 

“No! I fucking wasn’t Harry, you’re right! Because I fucking liked you, why would I want to shag anyone else when I had you around? I almost thought you’d feel the same but no, Harry Styles can’t stick to one person!” 

 

“I didn’t fucking shag her!” 

 

“I don’t care what you did… it’s the principle of it” 

 

“You know what? You’re the most insufferable, egotistic, arrogant, arsehole I have ever met in my life… you are so bloody selfish, too busy thinking of why you should do this that you don’t even think about me!” 

 

“Why should I? Fucking hell, Harry, just tell me why I should care” Louis pleaded “If you give me a good enough reason, then I’ll understand. But,  _ because it’s going to be on the papers _ , isn’t good enough!” 

 

“Because…” 

 

“Fucking what? Fucking tell me why Harry!” 

 

Harry growled, quite literally, like all the frustration fell from him all once and he ended up sounding like a disgruntled tiger. Louis was expecting Harry to punch him if anything, but instead, he was pushed back onto the blank wall behind him and the familiar chaste lips found his once again. Louis quite literally, melted under his touch, Harry’s arm that pushed its way around his torso was the only thing keeping him up. The kiss didn’t last long, it wasn’t full of lust and Harry’s need to shag, like usual. It was like Harry was trying to say something through his kiss, rather than actually using his words. 

 

Harry pulled back breathless “I fucking miss you” 

 

“You fucked up” Louis whispered, his eyes remaining closed as Harry rested his forehead against his own. “You don’t do that… even if we’re not together, you don’t do that to me” 

 

“I’m sorry… I was drunk, stupid and selfish” and Louis melted at the apology, it would not change anything but it was something he had needed to hear. 

 

“We can’t” Louis shook his head, he reached up, his hand cupping Harry’s cheek. He moved it so he could pull Harry’s face up so Harry’s eyes met his own “You know I adore you, H. And if we carry on, I inevitably will fall in love with you. I know you can’t do this with me” 

 

“But I just… I fucking love having you around” 

 

“And so do I. But, you’ve told me so many times now that you can’t be who I want and that’s okay. But, if that’s the case then I can’t carry on with this. You’re too special for this world Harry Styles, too special for me, coincidently. We can still be friends, we can hang out, do whatever but the  _ benefits _ , that’s over now” 

 

“But I’ll miss your lips” Harry muttered, reaching forward to place a gentle kiss against Louis’. “I’ll miss the way you feel, the dimples at the bottom of your spine, the way you shiver under my touch” 

 

Louis did exactly that, shiver under Harry’s words “We can’t… it’s not fair on me” 

 

“What about me?” Harry said, kissing the skin beneath Louis’ ear “what about how I feel? I can’t deal with things… without you” He worked his way along Louis’ neck, his words mumbling against the skin “I need you and you need me” 

 

“You coped fine without me before, Harry. I know we’ve been working well and it’s been great, perfect even. But, if we carry this on, who knows what might happen. What if I get fed up? Meet someone else?” 

 

“You can’t…” 

 

“And that’s why it’s not fair” Louis shook his head, he wanted this, he wanted to feel Harry, wrap his body around him and let him have his way with him but he couldn’t. It wasn’t right. He slowly pushed Harry away, full of reluctance. “I’m sorry… I can’t, I really wish I fucking could. Really. But, give me a week longer and I’ll be so hopelessly in love with you that I’ll be writing a children’s fairytale book it. I can’t, Harry” 

 

“Why can’t you be heartless like everyone else in this line of work?” Harry sighed, reluctantly pulling away until he lent against the wall opposite. 

 

“I’ve told you time and time again, i'm a hopeless romantic and unfortunately you’re not my Prince Charming. Although, I kinda hoped you would be” 

 

Louis raised his glass of multicoloured liquid and removed the straw, he threw it to the ground and began drinking the remainder of what was in there. Once finished, he reached up and placed it on one of the shelves. 

 

He crossed his arms over his chest, he glanced down at his shoes and then back up at Harry. He kind of hoped that Harry would fight more, say the words he needed to hear but that wasn’t going to happen. Not in this world. 

 

“I’m going to go home…” Louis explained, stepping from one foot to the other “lets just go back to before we started whatever this was, yeah?” 

 

“What? At eachothers throats constantly? Arguing?” 

 

Louis shook his head “No, I mean when we just got on with one another” he smiled at Harry, he was struggling with this more than he let on “I’ll see you Monday?” 

 

“I guess” Harry’s eyes were wide as he watched Louis make his way out of the little box room and Louis could feel them glaring at him his entire way out, right until he closed the door behind him. 

 

Louis closed the door behind him and stepped aside, he lent back on the wall beside it. The music and the crowd consumed him, he remembered where he was, he took a deep breath. “Enough now” He muttered to himself. 

 

He didn’t say goodbye to anyone, he could explain that on Monday with some sort of excuse. He snuck out of the club, avoiding eye contact with the guy behind the bar and was out of the front doors, the crisp cold air hitting his skin. He needed to go home, sleep this all off and start a fresh day tomorrow. 

 

With no thoughts of Harry bloody Styles. 


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Songs I listened to while writing. Fun chapter. 
> 
> Snakehips & MO - don’t leave.   
> Seeb & Dagny - drink about.   
> Harry styles - ever since New York. Idk it’s iconic.   
> Liam Payne - familiar.   
> Royal Blood - figure it out.

Time seemed to dawn on Louis and his movie very quickly, the few days after the cast night out were gone in an instant, Harry was compliant to whatever Louis asked him to do however he was never really there. He would put his entire effort into his performance of his character and then the moment the camera’s stopped rolling, he seemed to just... float. It was odd. 

 

Louis, of course, has made a pact with himself that he wouldn’t obsess over this situation any longer. It wasn’t fair on his mental health or his stress levels which were already sky rocketing thanks to this insanely stressful movie and the expectations that came with it. 

 

It was day four in Paris, Harry wasn’t here yet. Not that that was the most important fact, of course. But it was day four, Louis had been the busiest he had been the entire movie to date. He knew he was in a rush to complete this movie with the deadline in place, which the author had shortened only last week. His six month mark was now four and a half, after the author had so gracefully announced that the movie would be released by the end of the year. Louis could have killed him, quite literally. 

 

He was under immense pressure, had everyone relying on him and was quite easily undertaking one of the hardest production that any director had ever had the good fortune of delivering. He was fucked. He no longer had any hope. 

 

He was certain of it, especially after one of his main actors had taken ill, meaning they were without her for the first two days of filming which set them back in further. If he wasn’t absolutely exhausted already, he was only going to be worse by the time this ended. 

 

There were no early finishes anymore, no days off, no... nothing. It was work, work, work. He had been here four days and had easily only had a total of twelve hours sleep, some of which being in his trailer in the middle of the day. It wasn’t just the filming anymore, he was now in the production office, helping complete the scenes, blending it all together and ensuring it was utterly perfect. 

 

It was the fifth day, Louis had fell asleep on the sofa in his trailer listening to Kodaline. He was supposed to have been on set a good hour ago but clearly his co-Director saw just how much he needed this break. And boy, did he fucking need it. He could have easily stayed there, dazed and in a slumber all afternoon. Of course, it didn’t help that he had allowed Niall to tag along for a week or two. So an hour and fifteen minutes of slumber and he was being woken up by a little Irish man, singing his name as he barged the door open. 

 

Louis groaned, he rolled over on the sofa and pulled a cushion over his head. Sometimes he really disliked Niall. Especially today. 

 

“You weren’t sleeping, were you?” 

 

Louis frowned, he glanced up beneath the cushion at niall “No, I was simply lying with my eyes closed for no reason” 

 

“Oh, great” Niall grinned, he walked through louis’ trailer and barged Louis’ legs from the sofa so he could sit down. He glanced to his side “You look knackered, maybe you should have slept” 

 

“You’re insufferable” 

 

“And, you’re grumpy” Niall shrugged, he lent back against the sofa “Hey, how about we go and explore?” He suggested. 

 

“Where exactly am I going to fit _exploring_ into my agenda mate?” Louis sighed, eventually and finally dragging his body up to sit beside Niall rather than laying lifeless. “There’s no time for fuckin’ anything” 

 

“Well, you were literally just napping. So...” 

 

Louis sighed, his hands reached up and he rubbed his eyes with a groan “Yeah, well, I didn’t mean to. Sarah clearly thought I needed it and she was fuckin’ right. I need a weeks worth of sleep” 

 

“You’re gonna make yourself ill” Niall’s expression was genuine worry, he glanced at Louis’ tired and drained expression. “This deadline of yours, it’s a bit much, isn’t it? How do they expect you to actually get it done without killing yourself in the process” 

 

“What else am I supposed to do? I need to do this. I can’t walk away from it, can I? I started it and I am going to finish it and it’s going to be fucking perfect” 

 

Niall nodded slowly, quite unsure “But, you can make it perfect without hurting yourself in the process, right? Because, I’ve never seen you this fuckin’ obsessed and stressed mate” 

 

Louis shrugged, he knew what he was doing. He knew how perfect this had to be, deadline or not, he was going to do it. And if he really did make it as perfect as he hoped, he would go down in history for sure. This movie would be completed in four and a half months and premiered a month after. That’s impressive, beyond anyone’s standards. And if an Oscar wasn’t in his hands in the New year then he would have failed, wouldn’t he? 

 

Louis stood, he reached for the script for today’s acts and fell back onto the sofa. He licked his thumb and pulled the page over to the second page, he glanced at the scene and rolled his eyes “Stupid” 

 

“What is?” 

 

Louis pointed to the scene on the top of the page and showed Niall “The ending. He didn’t want a happy ending and that’s exactly what he’s getting but, these two are so fuckin’ perfect for eachother, it makes no sense. Like, why the fuck can’t they have a happy ending?” 

 

“I don’t know mate...” Niall drawled out, not entirely sure what Louis was _really_ referring to at this point. “Life isn’t easy, is it?” 

 

“But it’s stupid. They love eachother, in fact, they’re like childhood sweethearts. They reunite and feel the bond they felt when they were younger, they’re actual sweethearts Niall. They’re soul mates, who have been through a little too much. I just think it’s unfair that after everything they’ve been through they can just end it so shitty.” 

 

“I see...” 

 

“Maybe I should change it” Louis pondered, going over countless situations in his head that would get him away with changing the script with no one noticing but of course, it was near impossible “I can’t change the script, but maybe I can ask the actors to improv?” 

 

“The script is set in stone, Lou. You know that. You can’t change it, that’s how it’s meant to be, ain’t it? The story has to end a certain way, you can’t change fate” 

 

Louis frowned, he glanced at his best friend “who says? Talking solely about the movie here, if those characters were real, the situation and everything was an real as me and you. Then, what would you want for them?” 

 

“Obviously i’d want them to get together” 

 

“ _obviously_ ” Louis nodded, he took the script back and carried on as he stared at it “Thats what everyone wants, they want to see someone who has been through so much hardship, struggle and pain in their life finally get the happy ending they deserve. That’s human nature, to care for and want success in other people. So, if decent human beings want this, why can’t the characters have that?” 

 

“Because. As much as people want happy endings Lou, real life doesn’t work out that way. People, things, they get in the way. No matter how inlove, no matter how much they want it, there’s something in the middle of it all saying ‘ _no_ , _this_ _isn’t_ _it_ ’ for them. And that’s okay. Because the characters might be sad at the end, but beyond that movie, the audience are free to conjure up their own ending. And that’s kind of beautiful” 

 

Louis was bewildered, quite literally by Niall’s declaration. He had never heard such a deep and meaningful statement come from his mouth it was usually irritating banter, golf, beer and more golf. 

 

“So, the audience really get to pick the ending? Beyond what they see on the movie?” 

 

Niall nodded with a smile “They can believe whatever they want. I mean, you know the movie is going to end with Harry, I mean, his character, walking away and leaving it all behind... what would you want that character to do at the end of it?” 

 

Louis furrowed his brows as he pondered for an answer, he tried to place himself in Harry’s characters shoes, which wasn’t as hard as he thought. "I would have him find himself. Explore, find the _real_ him, behind his relationship or his management, the actual _him_. I want him to do that and come back to Tim, refreshed, full of wonder and knowledge that took him so long to find and I want them to fall back into each others arms like they never left” 

 

“There you go” Niall said, his voice faint. He reached out and placed a hand on his best friends leg. “You film this exactly how they want you to and then you leave the rest to the audience and to yourself, yeah? There’s always more to a story than meets the eye” 

 

“Yeah” Louis breathed out, he sat back, resting the script on his lap. His mind was rolling in a hundred different ways, comprehending their conversation. 

 

He knew that there was more to this movie than just the plot and the idea for Louis, at first, that’s all it was but now. It had so much of a deeper meaning. And meant a lot for Louis. This wasn’t just for the audience anymore, this was for him. 

 

“Right” Niall said, using his hands to jump up from his seat “If you’re too busy then I’m going to go and meet a few friends, feel free to join later on? If not, i’ll meet you here tomorrow morning for breakfast, okay?” 

 

“Yeah, sure. Enjoy your day” Louis smiled. 

 

Not long after Niall had woken him up, given him a meaningful lecture and then left him again, he was back to work. Sarah was dealing with the scene they were filming in an area around central Paris somewhere, leaving louis to deal with the work going on behind the scenes which was just, tedious. 

 

“Okay. We need to be moving locations by next Friday, we need every single member of the cast here and ready to go by Tuesday and I need this wrapped up in literally 56 days, okay? We have a time limit” Louis sighed, annoyed at his own voice as he preached the endless inpossibilities. “Also, I need Sarah to cover me on September 12th, if that’s okay?” 

 

“May I ask why?” His assistant asked, still writing all her notes. 

 

“I’ll be attending a party here in Paris, it’s a friends, unfortunately I cannot miss it” Louis explained “tell Sarah I’ll buy her four rounds of drinks at the wrap party and the premier, that’ll sweet talk her into it” 

 

“Got ya’. And what about the final presentation with the author and all those other important people? When is that? They want a date” 

 

Louis’ eyes focused on his laptop, he opened his schedule and nearly cried at the sight “Tell them i’ll get back to them” he searched for a single day off other than that party and there wasn’t one. He was working for two months “In fact, if they complain tell them to shove their deadline up their arse... actually, probably shouldn’t” 

 

“I won’t write that down” She laughed.  

 

He glanced at the production timetable and couldn’t believe what he had got himself into. He sat back in his seat and glanced at his assistance “When is Harry arriving? I swear, that boy has his own bloody timetable” 

 

“He hasn’t given us an exact time or date, unfortunately due to the contact he signed, he is welcome and free to take time off if he wishes and it seems he picked a bad time” 

 

“No shit” Louis sighed, he pulled his phone out of his pocket and typed his passcode. He glanced up at his assistant “you can go. Thanks for your help” 

 

“If you need anything to make your life a little easier, you just let me know, okay?” 

 

Louis nodded and waved her off as she left the room, he waited for the door to close before he lent forward on his desk. He opened his messages and searched for the ghost of Harry’s name. Which he found eighth from the top. He opened the thread to find the last text he had received being...

 

You look so pretty, have I told you that? I’ll miss you this weekend. You and your arse. All the love. H. xxxx

 

He sighed, he was contemplating texting Harry, asking him kindly to get here as soon as possible just to make one thing easier in his life but he knew that if he did, Harry would be able to see that last text as well. Both reminded of how it was before that weekend. But, his movie was much more important. 

 

He reluctantly typed a message. 

 

_Hey harry. Look , I’m not sure when you’re suppose to be here but I could really really do with your help right now . I have no time left and I need you here so we can get these scenes filmed , edited and added into the final piece ASAP . Can u let me know pls ? Thanks x_

 

The ‘x’ was not necessary but he did promise Harry that he wanted to go back to normal, before they did what they did. And friendly Louis would have added an ‘x’ as platonically as anything. He was quite surprised to see that Harry replied so quickly, if anything, he expected the cold shoulder or that he had even blocked his number. 

 

Hi. I’m actually on my way to set now? I landed a couple hours ago, I just settled in my hotel first. Been spending a couple days with my mum. Sorry. I’ll be with you in like 5 mins. We’ll make sure everything’s sorted, don’t worry. X

 

Louis gulped,he was about to panic, panic st the thought or seeing Harry again but then he remembered his promise to himself ‘ _Enough_ ’ and that’s exactly what he was going to do. Say _enough_ with harry. He could definitely look and see Harry without lusting over him, admiring his eyes or wishing he could touch him one more time. He could deal with this. 

 

He was a man after all. “Yeah, right” Louis scoffed to himself. 

 

It really was five minutes until Harry arrived, Louis watched through his trailer window as the man of mystery waltzed himself through the crew and cast who were hanging about and waiting for Sarah and the others to return. Louis watched and admired how graceful he looked as he made his entrance, and how bloody powerful. Even in shorts and a massive hoodie, he looked particularly glamorous. It was ridiculous. Louis wasn’t admiring it at all, he was revelling in his annoyance over it. That’s all. He saw that Harry was walking directly to his trailer, one of the cast pointing in that direction. 

 

He sat back in his seat and took a deep breath “Be normal, be normal, be normal” he chanted  to himself and then the knock at the door came. “Come in” He shouted. 

 

And he did. Harry walked inside, a small smile on his face as he reached to wave at Louis “Hey, hiding away are we?” 

 

“Of course. My favourite thing to do” Louis joked, a small smile spreading across his face “Have a seat” he gestured to the chair in front of his desk “How was your time off?” 

 

Harry hummed as he sat opposite Louis “It was refreshing... being able to get away from it all for a few days and sorta be me” 

 

“lucky you” Louis scoffed, he could sense how relaxed Harry was and he hated it. He only hoped he would feel that relaxed again. “Well, some of us won’t be having any time off for the next two months” He said, throwing a schedule one harry’s direction “Thats your rota for the time you’re here, we have you down for the rest of the time we are in France. Unless, you want to run off again?” 

 

“No, no” Harry shook his head, shoving the rota in the pocket of his hoodie “You haven’t got any time off?” 

 

“Nope. One day. But that’s for a party, other than that, I’m here, all day, every day” 

 

“That’s surely illegal?” Harry frowned. 

 

“Nope. It’s my movie, I work as many hours as it takes I’m afraid. So, expect me to be grumpy, annoying, irritating, pissed off... you know, the usual that come with lack of sleep” 

 

“You should be careful, Lou. You’ll end up making yourself sick if you carry on the way you’re going, you’re already working too much” 

 

Louis rolled his eyes, a week ago he would have been grateful for Harry’s worry and care but today, in the situation they were in. And how he was still upset with him, deep down, it was hard to take it. 

 

“Yeah, well, my best friend has already given me that lecture. Don’t need my lead actor to join the bandwagon, do I?” 

 

Harry’s face dropped a little at that, his straight lined mouth turned up slightly “Sure, just you’re actor, ain’t I?” He spoke quietly. He glanced back up Louis. “Are you still upset with me?” 

 

Louis shook his head, he meant it, he thinks “No, I’m not upset” he stated, then he thought about it a little more “I’m done with it. I just want to crack on with this shit, yeah? I want to put ‘us’ behind me so I can focus on getting this as perfect as it should be. I don’t have time for messing around with lads” 

 

Harry frowned, clearly not the answer he hoped for but he nodded anyway “Right. As long as you’re not still angry at me?” 

 

“No point in being angry” Louis said, not bothering to look at Harry as he did “Why be upset about a situation that’s already been scripted for me?” 

 

“What?” 

 

Louis quickly shook his head, realising he was still in the same mindset when he had been with Niall. He glanced up at Harry and smiled “Nothing, sorry, just thinking out loud” 

 

“Right... Okay. Well, I’m just gonna get myself out there and crack on, will you be joining?” 

 

Louis shook his head “Sarah’s covering the least important scenes to me today, I’ll be directing Tuesday through Friday, as they are the most important” 

 

“and instead, you’ll be doing?” 

 

Louis glanced up as Harry stood “Everyone else’s job until this movie is a fuckin’ hit” 

 

“Make sure you sleep” Is all Harry said as he left Louis’ trailer without another word. Louis frowned, gazing out his window as he watched Harry pull Tim into a short hug. 

 

This was what it was going to be now, not that Louis liked it, in his ideal world, this would have panned much differently. But, like the movie, his life was scripted for him and apparently this wasn’t the time for his love life to bloom nor for his happiness to sky rocket, that would have to put on hold until a further time. And Louis would just have to deal with that. 

 

*** 

 

The weeks seemed to drag in france, Louis found himself repeating the same scenes over and over every day to ensure they were up to his standards. He was becoming a nuisance, the cast and crew were tired of him and Louis was tired of everything. 

 

If he wasnt arguing with wardrobe he was shouting at his assistant for being careless and soon it turned to the actors, they understood he was under a lot of pressure and seemed to take it in their stride. Timotheè, sweet little Tim has become the brunt of all of Louis’ tantrums, even though he had never actually done anything wrong. He seemed to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, continually. 

 

Niall had buggared off a week in but had somehow found himself back in Paris only a week later after the cast had text him to warn him of louis’ breakdowns. And him being the seasonal golfer that he was had come back without a second thought. But that just seemed to irritate Louis more but everything did at that point. Harry had stayed completely clear of Louis whenever he was on a rampage, quite rightly because he would most definite receive the worst of it all. 

 

It was week three in Paris, Louis had exactly four weeks and three days left of production before he had to have every scene directed and performed and sent away for final edits and ready for release by the end of the year. So, naturally, when one of his actors broke a vase on set it was fair of him to jump out of his seat in a rage. 

 

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Louis growled, he glared at the young actor who was desperately attempting to gather up all the broken pieces “Do you realise how long we have to finish this? And you’re breaking the props like we can just... replace them?!” 

 

“Louis... chill out” Sarah said from beside him, cautiously of course. “It’s just a vase” 

 

Louis turned to glare at her now. Wrong time to get involved, he was quite literally on the edge of walking away completely “Just a fucking vase? Sarah! That vase is in over 20 scenes, you want to just carry on without it? How fucking unprofessional does that look?” 

 

“We have...” 

 

“I’m losing my fucking mind” Louis sighed, his hands reached up to grasp on his hair. A hobby that has arrived with the stress. 

 

“Where’s Niall?” Sarah asked Louis’ assistant who told her he was busy and with friends. “Great”

 

“Why is everyone just standing staring?” Louis’ eyes widened in disbelief, a bunch of actors and people that worked for him just stood staring at him like it was a scene from the movie “someone find me a new fucking vase, exactly the same! You have ten fucking minutes before I start sending people home” 

 

“Lou, maybe you should go and take five” 

 

“I think you should keep your opinions to yourself, don’t you? Can you go and do something... productive?” He dismissed her as he fell back into his seat with a roll of his eyes. He was too stressed and way too tired to deal with anyone today. 

 

He closed his eyes as his fingers rubbed at his temples, he was trying to calm himself down, repeating in his head ‘chill’ over and over, but these days with this stress. Nothing helped. 

 

He opened his eyes when he heard Sarah say “I wouldn’t go near him”. His eyes shot open and he watched as Harry pushed past Sarah in a stomping fit, Louis’ eyes widened, he didn’t know whether he was about to be punched or not. He couldn’t help but think it would be a good idea, at least if he was knocked out he would manage to get a few minutes sleep. 

 

“Up. Now” Harry demanded once he was stood in front of Louis. Louis frowned and shook his head. Harry crosses his arms over his chest “Louis, so help me god, if you do not get out of that fuckin’ seat and follow me now, i’ll pysically drag you...” 

 

Louis was in the mood to challenge Harry, of course he was, he wanted to refuse, tell him to piss off and find his fucking vase. But, he had seen that look on harry’s face before and he knew better than to challenge him. 

 

Louis glanced around him, the cast were watching and waiting to see what would happen and Louis hated this. He let out a disgruntled noise and threw his schedule to the floor, he slid off his seat with his arms crossed and reluctantly followed a stern looking Harry away from the set. At least if Harry knocked him out away from everyone he would actually get some sleep. He followed him way past his trailer, way past the office and was making his way towards the car park. 

 

Louis stopped once he reached the gravel on the road, the grass no longer beneath his feet. He stayed there, arms crossed and refusing to move any further. It took Harry a few more steps until he realised Louis had stopped. He sighed, his shoulders slumping as he looked at louis defeated “Really?” He said. 

 

“Where are we going?” Louis demanded. 

 

“We’re getting in my car” Harry stated. 

 

Louis quickly shook his head, a disgusted frown across his face as he spoke “Are you thick? Why the fuck would I do that? I don’t know if you’re aware Harry Styles, but I am currently creating a movie and...” 

 

“Shut up, Louis. Get in my car” 

 

“No!” Louis said and actually stomped his foot and if Harry wasn’t so stressed out by Louis he would have easily laughed in his face. However, the look he was giving louis was much more frightening and as Harry began to walk back over Louis began shaking his head “I swear, if you even try it Harry... I fucking mean it!” 

 

“God, you’re annoying” Harry stated with a roll of his eyes and in one swift moment, his arms were wrapping around Louis’ body and Louis feet were no longer on the floor. He glanced down to see he was being held over Harry’s shoulder and he started hitting Harry’s back “Stop hitting me, you giant child!” 

 

“Put me down!” Louis huffed, his legs swinging all over the place. 

 

“As soon as we get to my car” Harry said, he reached into his pocket for his keys and unlocked the doors. He kept his grip on Louis’ waist firm as he opened the passenger door, he dropped Louis so he was holding him against his chest and Louis couldn’t protest right then, he had missed that smell. 

 

It did not last long, being swept up in the moment and the reminder of Harry within his aftershave. Before he knew it, he was strapped into the passenger seat of Harry’s rental car and Harry was making his way round to the driver’s seat. 

 

He stared blankly at Harry once he had sat himself beside Louis. “What the fuck are we doing here? I’d get out but I’m scared you’ll throw me over your shoulder again” 

 

“you love being manhandled” Harry stated, it was more of a tease but his expression was stern still. “Stop being so stubborn. Sarah has it all covered, you need to leave that set before you end up losing your mind” 

 

“Harry... I don’t have time to be away!” Louis declared desperately, turning behind him to see everyone still working on the set. “What if something goes wrong? What if another idiot breaks another piece of the set?” 

 

“They’ll deal with” Harry placed the childlocks on the car with a smile and reversed out of his spot. 

 

“I can’t do this” Louis grunted, his head fell into his hands in defeat. He didn’t even have it in him to argue any further, the stress levels he felt actually made his body hot to touch. “At least tell me where we’re going” 

 

“I’m taking you back to the hotel, you’re going to let me take you to your room, you’re going to have a few hours slee and then when you have calmed down, relaxed a little, we’re gonna go and explore a little” 

 

“I don’t have time to...” 

 

“Louis” Harry warned, his look fierce as he gazed at Louis. “I don’t give a fuck, okay? You’re pissing off everyone because you refuse to take a break, no one’s even annoyed at you for your attitude, they’re annoyed because you’re risking your health and well being over all of this. So, it’s my job to sort it” 

 

“I don’t strictly think it’s your job anymore...” 

 

“As your friend” Harry interjected. “I’m your friend no matter what Louis. Whether you like it or not, I still care about you” 

 

Louis hummed, leaning against his hand as he gazed out the window. The last person he wanted to save him from this was Harry because deep down, he always hoped it would be him. And the fact it was, well, Louis was fucked. He made a mental note to join Tinder once this movie was over. Maybe that would help. 

 

They reached the hotel everyone was staying in and Harry dragged a very reluctant Louis into the lift, holding onto his arm as if he was awaiting louis’ big escape plan at any moment. Not that there was much place to run in a box lift. And to be honest, Louis was to exhausted to do anything. It was the first time he had arrived to his hotel when it was still light outside, he had been getting to his room as late as three in the morning most nights and would be back in work by seven. So this was a whole new feeling to see the light pour through the window. 

 

Louis didn’t say anything, he allowed Harry to drag him out of the lift and out into the corridor, he was so out of fight that he just reached into his pocket, grabbed his key card from his pocket and passed it to harry. 

 

Harry took it, opened Louis door and ushered him inside of the room. Louis yawned from the very moment he saw his bed, he even smiled at the sight. He knew he really shouldn’t be having a break, but he was delighted at the thought of it. 

 

He turned to glance at harry “I can’t sleep for too long” He said. “I need to actually do things, you know, it’s my job” 

 

“Yeah, well, too bad. You’ll sleep for as long as you need to” Harry shrugged, sternly. 

 

Lousi sighed, he rolled his eyes and jumped into his bed, fully clothed and exhausted. He had been struggling to sleep way before Paris, he hadn’t slept properly since he last had someone in his bed which gave him the most stupid and impulsive thought he had, most likely becaue of his tired and unlike him state of mind. 

 

He glanced up at Harry who was getting himself ready to leave Louis be, Harry smiled at him “Get some sleep, yeah? I mean it. If need be, I’ll sit outside and make sure you stay in here” 

 

“Kinda stalker-ish” Louis challenged, a poor excuse of a joke. He shuffled himself up against his headboard, he pondered over the idea for a minute but he saw no harm in the end “Hey, can I ask something?” 

 

“Sure, anything” Harry nodded, using his fingers to push the loose curls from his face. 

 

“Would you... I mean, I know this kinda contradicts everything I’ve said, but I mean it in the most platonic way ever, more for my benefit that anyone else’s... I mean, I just” 

 

“Spit it out, Lou” Harry snorted, sitting on the edge of Louis’ bed, waiting. 

 

“Could you maybe sleep with me?” He babbled, the words all jumbled. He looked up at Harry beneath his lashes “I mean, actual sleep, not sex... I just, I haven’t slept well in weeks and the last decent nights sleep I had was when you were in bed with me” 

 

“So... You want me to stay and cuddle?” 

 

Louis shrugged as a reply, he felt so small and genuinely so vulnerable at that moment. He was exhausted mentally and physically and all he wanted was a cuddle and a decent nap and as much as he really should have chosen anyone but Harry, he was right there in front of him. 

 

Harry reached his hand out and placed it on Louis’ ankle.  “Of course, I will” He said, a fond smile to match his statement “But if you think I’m cuddling you while you’re wearing those chunky horrible Director jeans then you’re insanely wrong. Take them off” 

 

Louis glanced down at his jeans and shrugged, Harry wasn’t wrong, they were horrible “Yeah, that’s fair enough. But, this is just friendly, okay?” He warned as he unzipped his jeans and discarded them before Harry even had a chance to take his jacket off. 

 

“I’m a _friend_ , Lou” Harry said, almost like he was reassuring himself of it. “I’d do anything for you. And if as a _friend_ , you want me to cuddle you, then so be it” 

 

“God” louis grumbled, laying down on his side, his head resting on his pillow “You keep saying friend and I know fine well you have a whole other idea in your head”

 

“yeah, well, one day you’ll realise” Harry stated and Louis felt the bed dip beside him, then the ruffles under the duvet as he shuffled closer “You’re lucky I’m tired too”

“Just spoon me” Louis strained through a yawn, he lifted the divert up so harry could shuffle his way closer and throw an arm around him.

 

“Pushy” Harry joked.  

 

Louis waited, patiently, it was almost like Harry was scared to move. Like all of this was now foreign to him but to Louis, to sense Harry so close to him was normality, it was settling more so than anything.

 

”Are you sure?” Harry asked, although his arm snuck its way around Louis’ torso and pulled him close to his chest without louis having a chance to respond. 

 

Louis hummed in delight, he lent himself back closer to harry and revelled in his scent and his body. He fit far too perfectly into Harry’s taller frame, it was as if this was all he needed since he got here. This level of comfort and serenity, being wrapped up with Harry. Harry’s other arm slid under Louis’ neck and wrapped over Louis’ chest and he now was pulling louis into him with both arms. 

 

It took no no more than five minutes for Louis to fall to sleep, peacefully and so content and he would pretend he didn’t feel harry’s lips against his neck as he drifted off. That wasn’t important right now. 

 

“Sleep well, beautiful” Harry mumbled against Louis neck and that was another thing he was going to avoid. 

 

Because, who cared? He was sleeping. 


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Songs for one of my favourite chapters. 
> 
> Chainsmokers - Paris (obviously)   
> Bastille - Quarter last midnight (highly rec!)  
> Edward Sharpe & Magnetic Zeros - home !!!   
> One Direction - Home.   
> Ellie Goulding - I know you care.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just so you know, I love this chapter 😍

 

Louis awoke with a heavy weight on his chest, almost like it was forcing him down into his mattress so he would sink lower into it. His eyes opened and he glanced up at the ceiling, he was more than aware that he was in his hotel room, he could tell by the extremely out of date paint job. The weight on his chest was a puffy ball of wild curly hair, all over his chest up to Louis’ chin. He had almost forgotten what had happened, his overtired state had made the morning seem nothing more than an illusion to him. But, Harry laying across his body, his limbs drawn out over Louis’ proved that it was most definitely a reality.

The younger boy breathed softly, his chest raising up and down in line with Louis’ own. Harry’s eyelashes were fluttering against his flushed skin, his lips partly open as soft breaths escaped them. And Louis admired it. He had missed this, in some way or another. It was so strange, the feeling of missing someone who was a big part of his life for such a small amount of time. He missed having him to snuggle up to in the evenings, to tease, joke with and kiss until his lips simply could not take it anymore.

But, no matter how normal and perfect this was, he wasn’t going to get this from Harry anymore. This was a one off, a tired decision he would most likely regret.

Harry began to stir on top of his body, he watched as he stretched his legs out over Louis’ own. He yawned and his head fidgeted on top of Louis’ chest, it was a few seconds of shuffling around on top of him when Harry eventually lifted his head higher on Louis’ chest and glanced up at him. Louis’ heart melted, the younger boy closed his eyes and smiled at Louis, it was the sweetest thing Louis had ever seen. So admirable.

Harry hummed, nestling his head back into a comfortable spot on Louis chest “Have you been awake long?” He asked, his voice as husky as Louis remembered it was in the morning.

Louis hesitantly moved his hand that lay on Harry’s back and stroked along his back “No, I woke up literally a few minutes ago” he spoke lowly.

“Did you sleep well?”

Louis thought for a second and nodded, a smile smile appearing across his soft features “Best sleep I’ve had since we got here. I still feel tired but I feel refreshed, so that’s something, innit?”

Harry nodded on Louis’ chest “Well, it is six, so you’ve slept for a good five hours”

“Shit” Louis said, his hand stilled in it’s movements “fuck, I’ve missed a whole bloody afternoon… we need to go Harry” he was frantic as he attempted to get up but Harry’s dead weight held him down.

“No!” Harry protested, his legs over Louis’ as he held the older boy down “We’re not going anywhere. It’s all in hand, everyone’s coping without you. They don’t want you there and that’s final. You’re having a night off”

Louis’ groaned, he gave up his fight and his head fell back onto his pillow “I have so much to do” he sighed, he dropped his hands to his side.

Harry lifted himself up beside Louis, he kept his body over Louis but used his arm to lift his upper body so he could glance at Louis. And at that point, Louis felt very small beside him. Harry knew how much power he had over Louis, or he didn’t and Louis was just a mess around him. Either way, he was beginning to learn to deal without Harry this close to him all the time and this wasn’t helping.

“How about we go and get some dinner together?”

Louis frowned at Harry’s question. This wasn’t a casual thing, friends go for dinner, sure. But, Harry wasn’t a friend like Niall. Far from it.

“Not like that” Harry rolled his eyes, his free hand traced along Louis’ chest, which only confused Louis more. Harry’s mouth may be saying something but his hands were saying another “We can go find a nice resturant, have some dinner, a bottle of wine, explore a little and then come back? You can have a decent nights sleep and you’ll be refreshed by tomorrow morning”

“Refreshed after drinking a bottle of wine?” Louis snorted.

Harry’s smile grew, dimples and all. “Well, maybe not entirely refreshed but a little relaxed, for sure”

“I don’t know Harry...” Louis bit his lip, he could think of a hundred other things he should have been doing. But, Harry’s eyes were pleading with him, all big, green and beautiful and Louis hated it. “Dinner and drinks and then we come home? I don’t have time to explore”

“We’re seeing some sights whether you like it or not”

“Oh?” Louis cocked a brow before continuing “How do you expect to trace about the streets of Paris without being recognised?”

“I’ll wear a hat” Harry shrugged.

“Oh, what a fantastic idea! Nobody will ever spot you if you wear a hat, Harry. Does this hat cover your entire face?”

“Ha, funny. It’s fine, I’ve managed to go sight seeing loads of times without anyone recognising me”

“Whatever you say, movie star”

It took a good fifteen minutes before either of them even considered moving from their terrible cuddling position, Louis was too busy revelling in the comfort and Harry, well, he was just too lazy to move.

Louis had been demanded by Harry to be showered, dressed and ready to go by seven. Which was a struggle when his bed just kept calling his name, but he did as he was told. He wasn’t sure whether he should tell Niall where he was going that evening or whether it would end up in some sort of argument, so, obviously, he chose against.

He was aware that Paris was much like England in the winter and it was hardly shorts and T-shirt weather so he raided his unpacked case for a sensible choice of clothing. He hadn’t worn much other than his work clothes which consisted of ugly jeans, joggers and ratty shirts. So, having to make an effort was a new thing for him.

It was coming up to seven and Louis was sat on the end of his bed, dressed in the warmest clothes he could find. He glanced up at the mirror ahead of the bed at himself, his hair was soft and flat against his forehead, a beanie on top, ready to protect it from the cold wind. He was dressed in his usual black skinny jeans, they were the easiest piece of clothing Louis owned, everything seemed to match. So much so, that he had a Burberry shirt on which was being slightly hidden by his denim jacket, he had no idea where Harry was going to drag him so he thought he should at least attempt an effort.

Harry arrived at his door fifteen minutes later, dressed beautifully as ever, bright colours, wild boots and looking like someting from a fashion magazine. It was no longer a shock for Louis, he expected beauty to radiate from him now. Harry gave no clues to where they were going, he wasn’t sure himself, it was a recommendation he had got from Kendall. So, most likely expensive, it was unlikely you would find a Kardashian/Jenner in some back end Diner.

They sat beside one another in the back of a car that Harry had hired, he gave the driver the address he had written down and sat back against his seat. Considering there was easily enough space for three at the back of this car, Harry had unnecessarily sat close enough so his thigh rested against Louis’.

Louis distracted himself. After all, they were in Paris, one of the most beautiful cities in the world. He glanced out of the window, watching as they drove past some of the sights he had only seen on aesthetically pleasing Twitter accounts or in the movies. He was in awe, he glanced to Harry who was too busy staring down at his phone. It was second nature to Harry, he had seen the world before and more. Travelling was his job, after all.

“Oh” Harry said, glancing down at his phone. He turned to Louis and smiled “Turns out its the resturant on the actual Eiffel Tower”

“What?”

“It’s that restaurant, you know, on the Eiffel Tower”

“Isn’t that only open for lunch service?” Louis questioned, rather than actually understand the fact he was about to have dinner on one of the most iconic monuments in the world.

“Evidently not, it’s open this evening”

“Well, shit” Louis breathed out between a short laugh “Am I dressed for dinner there? Am I not too casual?”

“Never. You’re beauty is enough, the clothes you wear don’t matter”

“Wow. That was cheesy” Louis pretended to gag “no wonder Niall hated hanging around us”

“Oh, I see, a couple weeks without me and you’re suddenly immune to my charm?” Harry challenged.

“Sadly, so” Louis lied, biting back a smile. “I’m over the Harry Styles daze of my life”

“I’ll believe that when I see it” Harry scoffed.

Louis turned to look at him and frowned “What makes you so sure of yourself, Styles? Think it’s impossible for me to get over you? Well, well, well, you’ve got a big storm coming honey”

“We’re literally about to go on a date”

“No, no, we’re not” Louis laughed, his head falling back against the back of his seat. He turned to Harry, amused “I told you it’s as friends, you even told me it was as friends. I’m afraid that’s as far as it goes for me and you now”

“Oh? Well, the last time we spoke you told me to think about what it is I actually want, didn’t you? Doesn’t that leave our little situation open ended?”

“Have you figured it out then?” Louis asked, hopeful, despite his calm exterior.

Harry paused, his eyes softening as he looked at Louis. He shook his head and sighed “No, I haven’t. You’ll have to give me a little longer I think”

Louis nodded,his head fell as he looked at his hands “I’m not waiting you know, like, I’m not waiting around for the day you realise you want me. I’m moving on, Harry”

“Yeah, I know... Look, let’s just have a nice evening and forget all this, yeah?”

“Sure, Whatever you want” Louis shrugged.

Louis wasn’t sure what he was expecting when they arrived, he knew it would be magnificent, he had seen pictures and videos. He knew what he was going to see but to see it up close and personal, it was breathtaking. He remembered the pictures of it being lit up after the terror attack in London, the support that flood around the world for them. And it was the picture of the Eiffel Tower that Stuck with him. A symbol of unity.

Onc they were out of sight from the public and in the lift on their way up to the resturant, he linked his arm through Harry’s. It was friendly, ofcourse, this was something he actually would do with Niall. Harry seemed to take it gracefully enough and held his arm higher for Louis to hold onto. Louis turned to smile at him and was met with a gracious one back, Harry’s dimples were out and he reached his other hand to clasp Louis’ that lay in the crook of his arm.

The lift doors opened and Harry subtly escaped his arm from Louis’ grasp, he ushered Louis to go ahead and the two of them walked out onto the first floor. He let Harry deal with the booking, Louis stood idly beside him as his attention focused solely on the view from the windows.

“Wow” Louis whispered, he couldn’t believe how central they were. The view was like no other, something he had missed out on from his constant working schedule.

“Lou” Harry said, catching Louis from his day dream. Louis glanced towards him and Harry smiled “You ready?”

Louis nodded and allowed himself to be ushered to their table by Harry and their server, he kept his head low as he walked past the numerous other tables set up on the floor. He almost felt like he didn’t belong here, amongst all of these people who had most likely paid their way for the table that evening, people with enough money in their accounts that combined they would most likely be able to buy the monument they were eating in.

“Here is your table, I hope the view is up to your standards”

Louis smiled gracefully and nodded, his eyes were wide as he looked out past their table at the view. The city streets were lit at night, lights to show the most beautiful of buildings and scenary. It was almost like a painting, it didn’t seem quite real.

Louis shuffled his denim jacket from his shoulders and placed it on the back of the car closest to him, he bit his lip and glanced at Harry and then back at the view.

“You alright?” Harry laughed, placing his own coat on the back of his seat.

“Can we get a picture?” Louis asked, quickly and all at once. His eyes were wide as he glanced at Harry hopeful “Like, together. As a keepsake. I do it with Niall”

“Of course we can” Harry said, his dimples showing again. He shuffled around in his coat pocket and pulled out his phone, he glanced to the server “would you mind taking our picture please?”

“Oui bien sûr” He smiles gracefully as he reached for Harry’s phone, Louis had no idea what he said but it seemed Harry understood well enough.

“Where?” Harry asked, standing awkwardly.

“Here” Louis nodded in front of him, he reached forward to grab his chair. He moved it to the other side of the table and walked closer to the window, he glanced down smiled and turned to Harry “come on”

Harry walked over and Louis guided him to stand beside him, he stood back against the window “Is the view okay?” He asked the server who nodded. Louis glanced up at Harry who was standing awkwardly beside him and laughed. “Bloody hell, Styles” he said. He snuck his arm around Harry’s waist and pulled him close to his side, he lent his body into Harry’s and smiled.

He wasn’t sure whether Harry had continued to stand beside him awkwardly or if he had actually smiled but Louis stood there, enjoying that very moment as the camera flashed multiple times ahead of him.

“Voilà” The server grinned, holding the phone back out to Harry.

“Merci” Harry said, taking his phone. He stood beside Louis as he opened his gallery.

Louis reached onto his tiptoes to glance at Harry’s phone, he smiled into Harry’s chest at the photos. Turns out Harry had been smiling, he had also placed his fingers up in a peace sign and turned his head to blow a kissy face in Louis’ direction. Louis smiled fondly “They’re cute”

“Yeah” Harry agreed, he locked his phone and thanked the waiter again. He moved first so he could drag Louis’ seat back into place for him and then walked round the table to his own seat.

They sat opposite one another, menu’s in front of them and the city around them. Music was playing softly in the background, soft and perfect for the setting. Louis sat back in his seat and glanced around him, taking it all in, then he looked at Harry. He smiled fondly as the younger boy glanced down at his menu, the French words spilling from his lips in a whisper as he translated the menu to himself.

If this was anyone else, in any other circumstance, Louis would consider this a date. And not just a date but already, one of the best he had yet to experience. He wasn’t sure anything could top this.

“Why are you staring at me?” Harry glanced at Louis over his menu “Is there something in my hair?”

“No, you’re fine” Louis shook his head.

“You’re weird”

“Yes, I know” Louis nodded, the fond smile never leaving his face. That was until he glanced down at his menu and realised he had no chance in hell at translating that.

Harry must have realised, a short laugh escaped his lips “Don’t worry, I’ll order for the both of us. I know what you like”

“Yeah, good idea” Louis said, slowly sliding the menu away from himself. He really should start trying to learn another language, but, he was a lazy brit so it was unlikely.

“Shall we have red or white?” Harry asked, leaning on the table “I prefer white and I’m pretty sure you do too”

“Yeah, whites perfect. Get the house wine, it always tastes better than the labelled”

“Right? I thought it was just me who thought that”

Harry did end up ordering for the both of them and Louis sat in wonder, wondering what else Harry was hiding. The younger lad was much more than just an actor, there was so much hiding behind the wild head of hair. That’s for sure.

Once their wine had arrived at their table, both he and Harry sipped if as a taste test and smiled at once another. It was so simple, yet so perfect.

Louis sat back in his seat, holding his wine glass close to his lips “So, tell me, how was it seeing your mum?”

“Oh, yeah, it was okay” He shrugged.

“Okay? That’s it” Louis frowned, taking a sip from his glass “That’s like the first time you’ve seen her in ages, right?”

Harry nodded “Yeah, I don’t know. The first day was good, she was at home all day so we kinda did some baking and drank loads of tea. She gossiped about modelling and I told her about the movie and you, then that was it. She had to fly again the next morning and I was stuck with her maid”

“You baked? Harry Styles the Baker, I did not see that coming”

“I’ll have you know, my cakes are to die for” Harry smirked beneath his glass “And my oohnuts”

“Well, I mean, I’m kinda expecting a homemade cake for my birthday now”

“When’s your birthday?” Harry asked, his expression now serious as he lent against the table “is it soon?”

Louis shook his head “Don’t worry, it’s not until Christmas Eve. You’ll be long gone before that”

“I’m making you a cake”

“I was joking”

“I don’t care” Harry pouted.

Louis tilted his head and smiled “Okay” he drawled. He took another sip of his wine and reached to place his glass back down. “So, you spoke about me?”

“What?” Harry shoved his hair back from his face, copying Louis’ movements to place his glass down.

“To your mum. You said the movie and me”

“She asked me if I had met anyone and I said I met you” Harry stated, matter of factly. “She told me you were lovely looking; said you looked like you had a cheeky side. I told her you’re a giant pain in my arse”

“Rude” Louis said, although the nerves built up in him as the next question arose “What did you say exactly?”

Harry shrugged with a sigh, he lent back in his seat as his eyes met Louis “I said I met you, thought you were amazing, quite possibly the most perfectly annoying person I’ve met in my life. She thought it was weird to describe someone I thought was wonderful as _perfectly_ _annoying_ , but, that’s just you isn’t it”

“I mean, I’d happily argue that”

“I said you would” Harry smiled, leaning his head against the palm of his hand “She then told me to be careful. Of course. And at that point, I told her you called it all off”

“There was nothing to call off Harry” Louis said cautiously. “I hope you told her what you told me”

He nodded “Yeah, I did. She told me I was stupid but she understood why I did it. And she said, one day you would too” Harry explained, looking at Louis full of hope “It’s shit, you know?”

“But, it’s for the best” Louis stated, leaning forward onto the table. “Like we said, fairytales don’t happen. You have a life and a career and I need to find myself my Prince Charming which by the way, is nearly impossible with my work schedule. I need to sign up to some celeb dating service”

“I doubt you’ll find your Prince Charming that way, Lou. What you’re most likely to find is a bunch of horny old rich men looking for a young sort to show off to their old horny pals”

“Ah, sounds like you in the future” Louis teased “I can see the headlines now. Harry Styles, aged 87 seen arriving at a club with his 23 year old girlfriend”

“Girlfriend?”

Louis hummed “Yeah, by the sounds of it Harry you’re contracted for life, love. You’ll be with a beard forever”

“Don’t call me love. It doesn’t have the same meaning as it used to”

Louis sighed, glancing at a huffy looking Harry “Don’t. Please. I’m having such a lovely time”

“It’s kinda hard to. I mean, I’m sat at a table in one of the most beautiful spots in Paris with one of the most beautiful men I’ve seen and I’m expected to just act a friend?”

“You’re making this extremely hard. I mean, we kinda agreed to just make this simple, for the both of us. But, every time we’re alone you just push and push”

“And I will keep doing so” Harry said, raising his wine glass.

“And when I fall in love with someone else?”

“Haven’t you read the fairytales Lou? They always come back to their true love”

“Ah” Louis said, he shook his head “That only happens when the love is from both ends. The character would never run back to someone who could not promise them the world and an eternity of love. That would be silly”

“Even if the person they’re running back to is a beautiful actor who adores the characters arse?”

Louis snorted “Even so. Which means, as my friend, you’ll have to start helping me out here. Introduce me to all of your hot friends”

“Are you kidding? Not a chance. You’re all mine”

“Not for long, kiddo” Louis winked.

As playful as it was, as easy as it was to joke about this all. The need that Harry had to feel like Louis was all his was hard for Louis to cope with, he was constantly reminded that this situation was just not normal. No matter how hard he tried, Harry Styles was not like anyone else.

Harry didn’t push it any further, sure he dished out a few compliments in Louis direction throughout the dinner but all talks of Louis jumping back into bed with him had been easily dismissed. And after they had eaten, Harry made the choice to order them another bottle of wine before they escaped off together into the Paris night sky on a little adventure to see the sights.

“Okay. Let’s act like teenagers” Harry said, inching closer to the table “I’m going to say three names, you’re going to tell me who you’d fuck, who you’d marry and who you’d throw off a cliff”

“Throw off a what?” Louis snorted, so hard that the wine dribbled from his nose. “I don’t think that’s usually how this works Harry” He said inbetween laughs.

“Yeah, well, this is the Harry Styles way. So buckle up, pal” Harry grinned. He sipped on his wine as he pondered in his head to think of people, Louis almost laughed at Harry’s deep thinking face. It was comical. “Okay... Lets say, Niall Horan-“

“Ew, that’s my best friend. That’s not allowed”

“Too bad, my rules” Harry stuck his tongue out.

“Child”

“Niall Horan, James Corden and David Beckham”

“Bold names there, Styles” Louis said, he sipped on his wine glaring at Harry over his glass as he thought of his answer. “Okay, without a doubt, I would shag James”

“What?” Harry spat his wine from his mouth. “You’re kidding right? Over David Beckham?”

“Without a doubt” Louis nodded “I mean, think about it. He’s adorable, in every type of way. And he’s soft as shit. I imagine he’d be the most adorable person in bed too”

“You want vanilla sex with James Corden?”

“Yes, Harry. And I will tell the world that too, I’ll write it on a tweet, I’ll tell people in my next interview, I want everyone to know how I want to get James in my bed”

“You don’t even like vanilla sex, you’re like a savage beast in bed, I mean, you bit me so hard that I bled”

“Besides the point” Louis shrugged it off “Anyway... So, I’d marry David Beckham and chuck Niall off a cliff”

Harry faked a gasp, his hand reached up to cover his mouth “Your own best friend? How could you?”

Louis smiled “He’s annoying. You’d do the same”

“I’d chuck him without the need of this game”

“My sentiments exactly”

Harry nodded “Okay, your turn. Give me some names”

Louis mind was blank at that point, trying to think of some handsome celebrities in his mind but it was hard when the most handsome one was sat right across from him.

“Okay... Fuck, Marry, throw off a cliff between” Louis said, pausing. His scrunched together as he thought “Okay. Gerard Butler, Barack Obama and... me”

“You?” Harry barked a laugh. “Usually it’s celebrities who you aren’t sat with Louis”

“Too bad, my rules” Louis winked, mimicking Harry’s earlier statement. “And choose wisely”

“Okay, fine” Harry smirked, he lent his forearms on the table to match Louis “I would fuck Gerard Butler, because he’s fucking handsome. I would throw Obama off a cliff and I would marry you, today, tomorrow, in the next minute, whenever I could”

Louis nodded slowly, he gulped as the realisation hit him. The moment the words left Harry’s lips, his whole body sent into turmoil, imagining it, imagining a ring on their finger, falling in love with one another, the whole ordeal.

“Oh” Louis said, his voice cracked. He took a deep breath, sneakily trying to contain himself “I wouldn’t throw Obama, America would hate you”

“They already do” Harry shrugged. He didn’t take any notice that Louis hasn’t retaliated at all to what he had said. “One more, then we’ll finish our glasses, pay and get going”

Louis nodded, hiding behind his glass. If he made eye contact with Harry then it was game over.

“Liam Payne, George Ezra and me” Harry smirked, knowingly. He was like a child.

“Stupid” Louis snorted. He sighed as he eventually glanced up at Harry. “Easy. I’d fuck George Ezra because his voice is like sweet music to my ears. In fact, do you have his number?”

“One, he’s straight. Two, shut up”

“Everyone’s a little gay” Louis shrugged.

“What about me and Liam?”

Louis rolled his eyes “I suddenly hate this game. You know exactly what I’m going to say, Harry”

“I want to hear you say it” Harry urged.

“Fine. I’d marry you and chuck Liam off the cliff. Him and Niall could bond down there” Louis shrugged.

“Maybe we should elope” Harry said beneath his glass.

“What?” Louis laughed, nervously.

“We could walk out of this resturant, walk off into the city and never look back”

Lousi frowned, stilling his body. He couldn’t tell whether this was another joke or serious, Harry was giving nothing away, he was like an emotionless robot. All words and no action.

“I’m sure my boss would notice when the movie wasn’t finished in time” Louis attempted a joke.

Harry hummed, his eyes were bright as he looked at Louis “Do you ever think about it?” He asked.

“What? Eloping with you?”

Harry shook his head with a soft chuckle “No. I mean, like just running away from it all? Away to a place where no one knows your name, no one cares who you are and you can just be... you?”

“Sure” Louis shrugged, agreeing. Hasn’t everyone?”

“I hadn’t. I mean, not until playing this character and meeting you. I don’t know, just I have these moments when I just stop thinking about what I’m supposed to be doing and my mind just wonders off to the idea of it all. It would be an easier life wouldn’t it?”

Louis nodded and placed his empty glass onto the table.

“But, no one would let me do that. Within an hour my name would be on every paper, a bunch of speculations about where I was, a load of false rumours... my management would print some horrible story about me. It just wouldn’t ever be worth it”

“Do you really care? I mean, what people think about you?” Louis asked and after a brief few seconds Harry shook his head “exactly. The image a bunch of people have on you that you don’t even know should have no effect on your life, you’re you Harry and your life is in your hands. One day you have to bite the bullet and just say fuck it”

“Yeah” Harry breathed out, still lost in his own thoughts “I just wish I could be more like you. You just live your life and make your own decisions, you never do something if you think it’ll hurt you. Like, you broke it off with me because you knew I’d hurt you at some point. That’s something I could never do. Because I’d be waiting for someone to make that decision for me. I never know what’s best for me”

Louis couldn’t do this. He couldn’t watch Harry go into a pit of destruction at the dinner table and wallow in his own self pity. He had to do exactly what Harry had done for him and give him a night to remember.

“Tonight, you made the choice for dinner. You decided you would publicly go out for dinner with someone of the same sex, you haven’t been discreet with your touches and you have had a good time. That was all you” Louis said, reaching a hand out across the table, not caring who saw. “So, what’s on the cards next, Styles? Where do you want to go?”

Harry’s expression soon softened as his eyes reached Louis and he smiled, he reached his hand out on the table, leaving just a few inches between both to avoid any unwanted photos on the front pages tomorrow.

“Let’s just walk? Sounds boring but I miss being able to just walk around without being hounded”

“Sure” Louis nodded “Get the bill, French Harry. We’re off on our adventure”

Harry and Louis paid and Harry was giddy as he and Louis ran from the exit of the monumental building and out onto the busy streets of Paris, they had no idea where they were going but that was fine with Louis. He enjoyed watching Harry comfortable, beside him as he lead him through countless wrong turns. Harry pointed to the different shops and cute outlets, Louis had managed to tempt him away from the Gucci shop much to Harry’s dismay. At some point, Louis linked his arm through Harry’s once again and even in such a public place, Harry didn’t stop him or pull away. He just shuffled closer so that their steps matched together.

Harry had his google maps open, terribly directing them around Paris on the hunt for Champs-Elysées. It was only supposed to be a twenty minute walk but Harry was easily distracted by other sights, even the sight of a stray dog had him stop dead in his tracks and sat down on the floor stroking it as he preached to Louis about bringing it back to England with them. And although Louis was close to just agreeing to keep Harry happy, the owner eventually turned up explaining in poor English that the dog had escaped from her garden. To say Harry was disappointed was a huge understatement.

Eventually they arrived and Harry’s eyes lit up at the sight, he turned to Louis with a soft smile and guided him closer.

“It’s stunning here” Louis admired, by Harry’s side as the walked beneath the trees. “Beautiful, even”

“I’ve been here before. But not really, you know? I’ve seen it but didn’t get to appreciate its beauty”

“It’s meant to be the most admirable avenue in the world”

“Yeah, you can tell” Harry nodded, glancing up around him.

Louis just allowed Harry to drag him in and out of different shops and late opened cafes, just so he could admire the Pastries. And if their arms had ever lost contact, Harry would link his arm back through Louis’ within seconds.

Louis was just admiring it all, the view, the city, the lights and mainly Harry. He hasn’t been approached once, he was walking so freely like he was just another person in the crowd of visitors. Louis was grateful to be apart of this moment.

They both went into a little cafe and both ordered a hot chocolate to go, Louis laughed as Harry asked for a mountain of whipped cream on his, telling the woman behind the till to keep going until it was literally falling at the sides of the cup. The smile on his face warmed Louis.

“Let’s go sit over there” Harry said, nodding towards a bench in the distance. It was close to the string of shops however just further enough that they could sit alone.

Louis followed, Harry’s hand was now gripping his wrist as he pulled Louis with him. He sipped on his hot chcoolate, still taking in the sights until Harry pulled him down beside him on the bench.

Harry sat back on the bench, he flew one arm round the back of Louis, resting on the wood but still managing to touch Louis at the same time. Louis settled back and glanced at Harry, who was smiling as he sipped his hot chocolate and Louis wanted this to last forever.

“I’m fucking freezing but this has been one of the best nights I’ve had in... well, fucking forever” Harry announced, his fingertips stretching to stroke Louis’ shoulder. “I wish I could do shit like this all the time”

Louis hummed, he agreed, he wished that for Harry too. He wished he could be able to do spontaneous things like this with Harry all the time, wonder off into the night sky and find a bench to sit on. Just so he could see Harry as happy as he was in that very second, over and over.

“You could” Louis eventually said, his head moved to the side so he could look at Harry. “Like you said earlier, just run away from it all. Have a life that you decide”

Harry smiled fondly, he placed his hot chocolate to the other side of him and reached his hand up to swipe Louis’ fringe from his eyes “I love how optimistic you are, Lou. It would never be as easy as this, I couldn’t run away forever”

“For a while then. Until you were ready to come back to this crazy life you live”

“And what if I was never ready?” Harry challenged, dropping his hand onto his own leg “what if I enjoyed it too much?”

“The fact you even think that _now_ says a lot, love. I think there’s a whole other world out there for you, beyond what you already have. Seeing you like this, so young and carefree as you should be at your age, it’s just, I want you to be this happy all the time, H”

“I’m not unhappy, Lou” Harry smiled smoothingly “like, when I’m with you. You make me happy, I feel normal when I’m with you. I’m lucky to have you as my friend”

“You’re not always going to be with me Harry. I love that I can bring this whole other side out of you, but, I know I’ve said it before. You really need to start finding the things that really make you happy”

“This, this right now. This makes me happy” Harry stated.

“Don’t let anything hold you back from doing something like this again, H. Whether I’m here or not. Do it for you”

“Yeah, I think I might” Harry nodded, his body still in line with Louis’ and his finger tips gracing over his shoulder. He glanced up at the night sky with a content smile “I could sit out here forever, with you”

“Yeah” Louis sighed, leaning into Harry’s touch “Me too”

They stayed on that very bench for another half an hour, no words spoken, just simply living in that very moment and it was exactly what both of them needed. To be free from all of their stress and responsibilities and just be with each other, however that was going to be.

Eventually, Louis hands began to freeze and he was sniffling away as the cold air finally won. Harry had taken one last gaze up at the view before he smiled, stood to his feet and reahed his hand out for Louis to take. Which he did, of course, however it meant walking through the dark streets to avoid being seen. It was nothing more than comfort and friendliness in their hand holding (he liked to believe) and yet they still hid it. Louis didn’t mind, he didn’t want to share this night with anyone else.

They stopped on their walk to Harry’s car, Harry insisting he took a picture of Louis under some tree rounded with fairy lights, saying it would be the cutest shot ever. Louis only protested for a few seconds until he gave in and posed beneath the tree, a few shots of him smiling and laughing at Harry as he pretended to be a photographer behind his phone. Louis eventually persuaded Harry to put his phone down and grabbed his hand to drag him out of the cold air and into the car.

And they rode in silence, sat next to eachother appreciating the hot air that blew through the car. Louis was thankful to feel the top of his nose again, he actually assumed he would never feel it again he was that chilled.

They both thanked the driver as they slipped out of the car, they shivered as they walked through the brisk cold air and into the hotel lobby. Louis glanced up at the clock, not surprised to see it was half an hour to midnight. They had been wondering around so long after dinner, he had just consumed himself in the moment.

They walked side by side through the lobby, Louis was thinking multiple things inside his head, wondering what would happen next. Whether it would be responsible to ask Harry to cuddle him again or whether to say goodnight and leave it there. So many different scenarios that all ended badly.

Just as he was approaching the elevator a voice shouted “Oi, Tomlinson” Louis’ neck snapped as he turned to look behind him, he furrowed his eyes as he looked at the small group sat by the bar. And then it was the bright hair that caught his eyes as it came bounding towards him.

“Where the bloody hell have you two been?” Niall asked, approaching the both of them. “Are you aware how a phone works, Lou? Cause I’ve called at least fifty times”

“I left it in my room” Louis admitted, shrugging his shoulders. He could feel Harry’s body next to his own.

“Yeah, well, I’ve been lookin’ for you! Luckily, Sarah over there told me that Harry had been missing too which solved the question where you were quick enough” Niall stated, his glare falling onto Harry. “You two are fucking stupid. Do you realise how much of a bad idea it is?”

“What’s a bad idea?” Louis asked, genuinely confused. “And keep your voice down, we’re in public”

“You two” Niall hissed “I don’t know what you’re playing at. But all three of us know that whatever this is between you is just going to end in heartbreak, he’s already hurt you once”

“Niall... Nothing’s going on” Harry explained, quick to defend Louis. “Louis was being awful on set, causing a scene and I decided he needed to get away before he ended up saying or doing something he’d regret. He had a nap, we went for dinner, had a hot chocolate and came home. That’s it”

Niall frowned, he turned his gaze back at Louis, questioning and Louis nodded “Its true. It’s as innocent as can be, you know I wouldn’t lie to you. We both know what we’re doing”

“Yeah, well, it better stay that way” Niall warned, suddenly ignoring Harry’s existence “Anyway. Before you fall asleep and pass out for the rest of the night, come and have a pint with your best mate”

Louis’ eyes softened “oh” he bit down on his bottom lip, he wanted to look at Harry and see if he was thinking the same but if he knew if he did, he wouldn’t be able to stop himself. After a night like tonight, it was hard not to be completely imfactuated with Harry all over again. So he kept his gaze on Niall. “Sure, just one though”

“You can come too if you want, Curly bollocks”

Harry snorted “Nah, I’d rather not mate. You’re ruining my name, if people think I hang about with you willingly it’ll ruin my repuatation”

“You know, there was one short week that I liked you” Niall said, shaking his head “But, I’ve decided you’re a dick again”

“Thank you so much” Harry gushed, placing a hand over his heart “You’re too kind”

“I’ll go order us a drink, Sarah’s over there too. Probably wants to fill you in on today” Niall said, nodding over to where the bar was. He glared at Harry once more, just as a final touch before he sauntered off to join the others.

Louis rolled his eyes, Niall was hard work. He turned his body around to face Harry, he stepped from foot foot “So...”

“So...” Harry laughed softly “thank you, you know for tonight”

“I should be thanking you. I would have ended up sacked by the end of the day if you hadn’t have pulled me out, I’d have ended up throwing my chair at someone” Louis joked.

“You’re joking but I genuinely think you might have”

“That’s fair”

“I’ll see you bright and early?” Harry asked, promisingly.

“I’ll be the one too tired to function sipping on black tea”

“Perfect” Harry smiled, fondly. He glanced at Louis once more before he stepped into the open elevator “Have fun”

As Louis walked away, he couldn’t help but wish he had stepped into that elevator with Harry. Wish he could go back to the very start of this all and do it all differently, convince Harry that he could bring him all the happiness he needed. But, this wasn’t the movie ‘Click’, he didn’t have a remote that he could simply press rewind on and start it all over.

He approached the group, shoving a false smile on his face as a few members of his cast and crew welcomed him in open arms, saying how glad they were to see him smiling. And he sat there, a pint in his hand, listening to everyone as they spoke and yet his mind was replaying every moment of the night he had just had. Wishing he could do it again.

That’s when he had the idea. One so perfect, so admirable, he couldn’t wait to put it into place. But, that would have to wait until tomorrow.

So, once his pint was finished, he was quick to excuse himself promising to join them all the next night for some proper drinks and downtime. He needed his bed desperately.

Once in his room, the moment the door closed he stripped off his clothes, kicking his jeans somewhere in the distance and not knowing where his shirt ended up, somewhere in the hallway between the door and the bed. As soon as his body hit the soft fabric of his sheets he moaned in delight, mainly due to the comfort but also because there was still a slight scent of Harry lingering against the pillow. The aftershave Louis had complimented time and time again.

Just a small reminder that Harry was here. And it was real.

He had closed his eyes, ready to break into slumber when he remembered he needed to set an alarm. He groaned, lifting his upper body from the soft material and stretched his arm out to reach for his phone that he had left charging on the bedside table. He grabbed with a sigh, he shuffled his body around on the bed above the sheets until he was sat on his back, his head rested on the pillow and phone above his face in his hands.

He frowned at the numerous notifications, he ignored the work emails, the missed calls from the author and focused on the few texts he had received from the cast telling him to ‘ _rest_ _up_ _and_ _take_ _it_ easy’, he soon saw the countless texts and calls he had from Niall. 

_You’re ignoring me on purpose aren’t you ? Do you want to stop that pls and thank you_

_listen , if you keep ignoring me I’m gonna kick u in the balls ._

_STOP ignoring me !! I’ve been knocking on your hotel room for like half an hour ._

_Someone told me your with Harry . I swear to god if you go anywhere near his dick then I’ll personally make sure I chop yours off , ok ?_

Louis giggled softly to himself, Niall had threatened it as a joke but he knew that in the right circumstances, he really would consider chopping Louis dick off. He was dramatic.

As he was scrolling through his countless notifications, he felt his phone vibrate within his hands. His eyes flickered up to the top of his screen and he saw Harry’s name, no text beneath it, meaning it was a picture message. It went off four more times before Louis even had a chance to click on it and then a text came along with it. He sat himself up straighter as he opened the text thread up onto his screen.

He read the text first.

_Hi Lou. I’ve sent you the pictures from tonight, you said you like to keep memories and these are my favourites. But every day with you is my favourite. Tonight was special, I don’t think i’ll ever forget how it felt just to be Harry today. You’re right, I should start doing things for myself and making my own path and I will, eventually I promise. But for now, having you at my side, that’s enough to make me happy. I won’t bore you with my sentimental mood tonight. I’ll see you bright and early! Thank you again. Yours, always. H. X_

Louis was smiling from ear to ear as he read the text, he bit his lip as he scrolled up in the text thread so he could look at the pictures. He saw two that he recognised, one where he and Harry were posing above the view behind them, Louis was leaning into Harry’s chest and Harry’s face was inches from Louis as he pouted with a ‘Kissy’ face. The next was just the two of them, side by side, arms around one another and smiling at the camera. It was simple but sweet.

The next two, were of Louis. And he expected them to be shots of him standing beneath that bloody tree that Harry seemed to love so dearly. But instead, it was different. In one photo Louis was laughing, his head flying back as he watched a street show on the avenue, some magician they found who was terrible. Louis had laughed repeatedly about the fact he had managed to lose the rabbit he was supposed to have pulled from his hat. And he hadn’t even realised that Harry had his phone out. At the bottom of the photo, just there for him to see was Harry’s own hand linked with Louis’. It was a photo you would expect to see on some aesthetic tumblr about travelling. Louis loved it.

The last one was what melted Louis completely.

It was him on that bench, his head nestled into Harry’s arm, leaning against it as he looked up at the starry sky. And that was it, Louis, part of Harry’s body and the view surrounding them. It was simple really. But it was the thought behind it. This was a moment when it was completely just the two of them and no one else, nobody to disturb it or tell them it wasn’t right. They were lost in one another and the sky, a moment Louis would never experience again. And this picture was a reminder of how perfect it was.

As Louis admired the photos, attempting to conjure up a response for Harry. He felt the feeling hit him like a tonne of bricks, an emotion so strong it knocked his breath. His breath hitched in his throat and his eyes widened as he focused on the pictures of him and Harry.

It didn’t matter that he called it off, it didn’t matter that they couldn’t be together. Louis realised in that very second, no matter what he tried, he was absolutely, unbelievably in love with Harry Styles.

He was well and truly fucked.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Songs! Loved writing this chapter. Especially Louis and Niall up to no good. Songs that inspired it: 
> 
> Icona pop - I love it   
> Mike Posner - I took a pill in Ibiza.   
> Jess Glyne - I’ll be Be there.   
> Bebe Rexha- I’m a mess.   
> The Vaccines - if you wanna.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don’t hate me.

Louis first day with the knowledge that he was in love with Harry was a difficult one, he was too busy admiring Harry most of the day that he barely concentrated on what he was actually supposed to be doing. Which was directing a movie that was due for completion in the shortest amount of time possible. He and Harry sat together that day, cross legged, eating their lunch on a small patch of grass near one of their locations that day. Hidden away by trees, no one in sight and Louis was just so wrapped up in him. He hated it. Every time Harry laughed his heart would beat double time, his eyes would widen with joy and his body would melt.

 

And when Harry said “ _I could sit with you forever_ ” Louis only cried a little bit, his mind internally scolding him for being such a fucking idiot. He had called everything off with Harry with the sole purpose of giving his heart a break and now, after one innocent night together, he was further in that he had hoped.

 

The days continued the same, Louis would do his job when Harry wasn’t around, shouting orders, ensuring scenes were edited into completion and ensuring the scenes were to absolute perfection. And on the third day, when he added in a short scene of Harry and Tim’s character exploring Paris at night, he most definitely ignored Harry’s knowing smile.

 

The week was coming to an end, he had exactly three weeks left in Paris before it would be a wrap and he was set to be attending Niall and his mutuals friends party this evening. He knew he had to be ready to go outside of his hotel by seven that evening, but, as of yet, it was four in the afternoon and he was stuck in his office with a screen full of completed edits to check over before he left for the day. He was also joined by Niall, who was sat on the sofa they had added into the room (Niall had requested it and for some reason the crew listened) he had one headphone placed in his phone as he watched the highlights from the Derby match that morning. He was keeping quiet for once, letting Louis actually concentrate. But it still wasn’t much help, he was being slowly swallowed up by his workload.

 

“I’m not sure I can go tonight” Louis eventually said, breaking the silence. He turned to his best friend. Niall removed his headphone and looked up a him with a frown “I mean it, I have to finish this today and it just seems never ending!”

 

“You’re coming” Niall said, not listening. “I’m sorry but we arranged to go as soon as we heard about it. He’s counting on us, we haven’t seen in him since Uni and we promised to keep in touch. Which we didn’t. Which means we actually have to go”

 

“Surely he’d understand how busy I am?” Louis sighed, dropping his head into his hands.

 

Niall shook his head “No, because that’s been your excuse every time. Why are you so set on not going tonight? What’s the issue here?”

 

“Nothing” Louis quickly defended, he lifted his head up.

 

“Bullshit. I swear, if you’re still hung up on that argument you had like four fucking years ago then you need to grow up, it’s over and done” Niall warned “He’s over it, so should you be”

 

“I am bloody over it! Shut up. I want to go, but I’m serious, I have so much to do” Louis complained. He didn’t want to face it tonight, he hasn’t exactly been the best of friends to the people who were once a massive part of his life. It seemed like when his work took over, he didn’t have any time for anyone anymore. Except Niall of course, he couldn’t shake him if he tried.

 

“Well, instead of moaning about it, how about you get on with it? We’re leaving at half five, whether you like it or not”

 

Louis groaned, he sat forward in his seat, placed his headphones back in his ear and reluctantly pressed play. He had over an hour of footage to watch, which should have been easy enough. But it wasn’t when you had to assess every camera angle and every movement he saw, as well as examining the characters and their acting. Which just meant an hour of Harry.

 

He was around forty minutes in, actually making some sort of progress, he had managed to give the all ‘okay’ to all of the scenes to this point. He was even quite impressed by what he had watched. And he was just picking his mug up to take a sip of his tea when the door knocked. He sipped the hot liquid and swallowed “Who is it?”

 

“Me!” Harry’s voice sang from the other side and Louis quickly placed his mug back onto his desk. He slouched as he peered at himself on his laptop screen, he ruffled about with his franticly messy hair and flattened it from where it had been pulled at endlessly. “Come in” Louis shouted in reply.

 

He sat back on his seat, he grabbed his tea again and held it in both hands as his door opened and he was faced with a soft Harry. His heart dropped at the sight, it was just unfair how stunning he looked practically every moment of every day.

 

“Hey, you” Harry greeted, closing the door behind him. His smile faltered as he saw Niall glaring at him from the sofa. “Do you actually have a job?”

 

“Yes, why?” Niall asked.

 

“It’s just surprising. Because you seem to be clinging off your best mates arm half the time, you know, it’s okay if you don’t have any other friends Niall”

 

“You’re an idiot. I’ll have you know I have a fantastic social life, within minutes of meeting everyone you work with they loved me”

 

Harry snorted “Yeah, really _loved_ you” he walked through the office and pulled the chair opposite Louis’ out, he sat himself down with a sigh, still looking at Niall. “Can you fuck off for a minute?”

 

“No” Niall said, crossing his arms over his chest. “Can you fuck off, permanently?”

 

“You’re really funny” Harry fired back “who knows, maybe instead of your deadbeat job as a failing golf player you could be a failed comedian too?”

 

“You should remove that stick up your arse mate”

 

“Funny that, Louis said that to me the first time he met me” Harry said, spinning his chair side to side “And now he loves me. So, don’t worry, a couple more days and you’ll be hung up on me”

 

“I’m leaving” Niall announced, he stood up with a groan. He turned to Louis “Don’t let this trust fund child distract you okay? We need to be gone in the next forty minutes”

 

“I know” Louis nodded, pulling his headphones from his ears to around his neck. He laughed as Niall stormed out of his office, slamming the door behind him. He glanced at Harry “You’re a troublemaker, you know that”

 

“I got you alone didn’t I?” Harry wiggles his eyebrows suggestively, a grin on his face “C’mon Lou, spread me out on your desk and have your way with me before Niall comes back”

 

“You’re an idiot” Louis rolled his eyes, a permanent smile on his face. And he wouldn’t admit that the thought of doing exactly _that_ , crossed his mind. “What do you want, Styles? I’m on tight schedule today”

 

“A little birds tells me your abandoning us this evening. I was hoping to steal you tonight, there was a movie on that I wanted to watch” Harry pouted “but, seems you have other plans. Where you going?”

 

“Party. A friend from University. He’s an artist, just so happens that his gallery opening is here in the City. So me and Niall are going” Louis explained “Kinda haven’t seen him since we left, so, I feel like I have to go”

 

“You don’t want to?” Harry questioned.

 

“No, I do! I love him, he was one of my best friends. We just had a little argument of sorts, just before I left for my first directing role. He knew something and didn’t tell me and I guess I kinda blamed him for what it was”

 

“It’s like your talking in morse code, Lou. Just tell me”

 

“I had a boyfriend, I was with him the whole time I was at Uni. Thought I was gonna marry him and all sorts, turns out he was shagging one of our mutual friends. Also turned out that Zayn, the guy with the art show, my best friend, knew all about it. For an entire year and decided not to tell me”

 

“Fuck” Harry said, eyes wide “Oh shit, yeah can see why you argued”

 

“I blamed him for it, I don’t know why” Louis shrugged, leaning back in his seat “I guess I wanted to blame everyone. Except Niall of course, he was always neutral. After we argued, we had our graduation, I left straight after, didn’t even say goodbye. I was surprised we even received an invite, to be honest”

 

“He clearly wants to clear the air, Lou. It’s a good thing”

 

“Yeah… But, my ex will be there too” Louis admitted. “I was scrolling through Twitter and saw that my ex had tweeted something about heading to Paris for Zayn, I mean, put two and two together, it’s obvious I’m going to see him as well”

 

“Oh, Lou. That’s so shit” Harry sympathised. He reached his hand across the desk and ushered for Louis to give him his hand, Louis wasted no time in placing his hand in Harry’s “It’s going to be okay, you know? Look at you now, so powerful, so successful, if anyone’s came out on top here, it’s you. No one else. He’ll be begging for you back by the end of the night”

 

“You’re stupid” Louis snorted, smiling at their laced hands “I wish I could bring you along but, you know…”

 

“Yeah, I’ve got to work and this is something you need to do on your own” Harry nodded “But, if you get back early enough and you need me. You can just come to my room, yeah? Just ring me and I’ll wait up for you”

 

Louis smiled, fondly glancing up at Harry “Thank you”

 

“I’ll miss you, weird isn’t it? Missing someone for the evening” Harry laughed, almost like he couldn’t believe he was saying it. And Louis couldn’t laugh, he did know what he meant. He missed Harry constantly.

 

“You’ll have to cope without my fantastic company”

 

“How will I survive?” Harry sighed, throwing his head back dramatically.

 

“You won’t. It’s inevitable. You’ll die from a broken heart”

 

“Fuckin’ hell, Lou” Harry snorted, lifting his head up in laughter “Bit dark, innit?”

 

“Sorry, that’s just life. It’s the Louis Tomlinson effect”

 

“Is that so?” Harry mused, pulling his hand away from Louis’. “Well, I’m afraid I have the worst case to date”

 

“Sadly, there’s no cure”

 

“I suppose I’ll just have to cope with you then, suppose you’ll just have to stick around me forever”

 

“What a lucky boy you are” Louis winked.

 

“The luckiest”

 

***

 

Louis and Niall were stepping out of their hire car, both dressed in Tom Ford suits that they had bought the other day especially for tonight. Louis slowly glanced up at the galleria and was in awe, he always knew that Zayn was talented beyond belief but this was another level. He had finally achieved his dream.

 

Niall clasped him on the shoulder “C’mon then, let’s get this over with. No point putting it off”

 

“Yeah” Louis breathed out, taking the first step up the never ending stairs leading to the entrance.

 

“You don’t think he’s brought us here to tell everyone he hates us, do you?” Niall whispered as they reached the top step.

 

Louis frowned, snapping his neck towards Niall “Why the fuck would you say that? No… wait, I hope not”

 

“Well, we’re bloody here now”

 

Louis groaned, he was not ready for this at all. He could have easily gone a few more years, grown a little wiser before this happened. It was always hard to let go of something that was such a massive part of his life, he still thought about the effect the situation had on him. It was the final push, that little significant thing that pushed him into the romantic movies he made today. If he couldn’t have happiness, everyone else could.

 

“Champagne?” A man dressed in a penguin jacket asked him as he walked into the grand entrance.

 

“Oh, god, yes” Louis said, relieved. He grabbed two glasses, Niall reached for one of Louis’ but he shook his head “Sorry, mate. I need at least ten tonight”

 

He walked ahead of Niall, his eyes glancing around the room he had just walked into. It was luxury enough to suit the royals, grand chandeliers, artwork dated back to way beyond Louis’ time and a grand exterior design. He looked ahead of him, where the exhibition was being held. He saw his old friends name on a banner, in fancy writing, a whole exhibit just for him ‘Zayn Malik’ in big bold letters for everyone to see. And the room was hardly quiet, there were all sorts of people here. In fact, he even recognised a few people, there were some very wealthy names attending this evening.

 

It wasn’t a surprise, to see that Zayn had achieved this amount of success, he had always been the most talented out of the three of them. His way of expressing himself through his art was something Louis admired, his work was something of perfection. Louis remembered sitting in their dorm, standing behind Zayn for hours as he worked on another piece for his dissertation. He would spend months bundled up in his room, working himself to death to ensure it was nothing but perfection.

 

That was clear from his work here today. The paintings sprawled across the walls were breathtaking, portraits, landscapes, geometric imagery, it was an array of colours and visions. Visions that only Zayn could see.

 

“Wow” Niall said, finally beside him “This is insane”

 

“It’s fucking crazy” Louis said, still at a loss for words.

 

“He’s done it man, our kid did it” Niall said, a proud smile appearing across his face.

 

Louis nodding, turning around to gaze at all the paintings surrounding him “He has, hasn’t he?”

 

“Louis” Niall said, his voice hushed. And Louis nodded, still focused on the piece right in front of them. “You need to see this”

 

Louis turned round, champagne in hand to find Niall walking away from him. He rolled his eyes, drinking and finishing one of his glasses. He placed it on a tray as he followed Niall towards the very end of the room, he was too busy looking around him that he didn’t even realise Niall had stopped. He barged right into him “Shit”

 

“Look” Niall said.

 

Louis stepped back, following Niall’s line of sight. And that’s when he saw it, the biggest piece of them all. Hung against a grand red curtain, full of colour, full of life and beautiful. Louis couldn’t believe it, he scanned over the faces on the painting and confirmed it.

 

There, hanging for everyone to see was a painting of the three of them. Niall, Zayn and himself. Around them were objects, describing their line of work. Surrounding Zayn was spray paint cans, paint brushes, empty paint bottles and overalls. Behind Niall was a bunch of trophies for his golfing career, as well as the hill that he fell down, which Louis thought was the perfect addition. And then there was Louis, Zayn had painted it so his arm was around his shoulder, their heads leaning against one another. Behind him was his career, the names of the movies he had created, snippets of different scenes, his award and a directors chair.

 

It was the three of them. Painted together with all of their achievements and work surrounding them. Just as it should have been, the three of them against the world, that’s what they promised each other. But somewhere along the line, they forgot Zayn. But, heartbreakingly enough, Zayn never forgot them.

 

He glanced down at the plaque beneath the painting to see the name ‘ _Sorry_ ’. Louis’ heart broke. He glanced at Niall and shook his head, his mouth parted as he searched for the words to say but nothing came out.

 

“Wow” Niall eventually said through a broken voice “That shit hurts”

 

“What do you think then?”

 

That voice was a familiar one. One that had matched so many memories in Louis’ life, he didn’t dare turn around but as he glared at the painting at the two of them with  an arm around each other and he knew he had to. He turned quickly, part of his champagne falling to the ground and he was faced with him. After four long years.

 

Zayn smiled and shrugged. And Louis melted, he looked so grown up compared to the young lad with a heart full of dreams that he remembered. He was dressed up in a suit much like their own, his hair still as big and full of secrets as always and although he looked grown, he looked exactly the same as Louis remembered.

 

“Sneaky fucker” Louis whispered, a small smile on his lips as a tear fell across his cheek. “Come here”

 

Zayn laughed, he reached an arm out and yanked Louis into him. They patted each other’s back, holding onto one another closely. Louis felt such a relief in that very moment.

 

“I know the painting says it. But, is now a good time to say I’m sorry again?” Zayn mumbled against Louis’ shoulder.

 

“You don’t need to say sorry” Louis said, pulling back to hold his friend at arms length “It’s done, it’s whatever. It’s me who should say sorry. My life just went crazy, so quickly. I haven’t had a break since we left Uni”

 

“I saw. I kept tabs on it all, don’t think I haven’t been shouting support at you through the TV every time your face pops up to accept another award”

 

“Oh god” Louis shook his head, he laughed lightly and pulled Zayn in once more “I’ve missed you, man”

 

“Yeah, me too”

 

“Excuse me?” Niall said, tapping Louis on the shoulder. “Have we forgotten there’s a third person in this little group? Budge over, the little ones coming in”

 

“Come here” Zayn laughed. Louis stepped back and watched as Niall embraced him in a hug. It was endearing to watch, to see them together after so long.

 

That’s the thing with growing up. Life gets on top of you, your career becomes your life and the people you once couldn’t live a day without seem to drift away and it was moments like these that you would remember. Those special, sentimental moments. And Louis would be forever thankful that he turned up tonight.

 

“So, what do you think then?” Zayn asked, gesturing around the room.

 

“Fucking insane!” Louis belted “It’s honestly crazy. We always knew you’d end up somewhere like this”

 

“Yeah, you did. Not me” Zayn scoffed, his hand still on Niall’s shoulder “to be honest, I’ve been offered my own art show about five times now. I refused until I found the right place, just so happened this was the place”

 

“No shit. A bit glamorous from the council estates we came from, ain’t it?” Niall admired, taking a sip of his drink. “Makes you realise how far we’ve come, don’t it?”

 

“You could say that.” Zayn nodded, he turned to the lads with a genuine smile “Look, lads, I’ve got to do the rounds, you know, try and convince people to buy my art by being mysterious and shit. But, don’t go anywhere, okay? We can have a drink once this first bits over”

 

“You’re not staying for your own art show?” Louis laughed, shaking his head in disbelief.

 

“God, no! Are you kidding? It’s boring, all people do is buy my art and boast about it. The lads and I are gonna head to the bar down the road”

 

“I’m game!” Niall cheered.

 

“I’ll come for a few” Louis quickly said, noting the time “You know, busy time, I have a movie to create”

 

“Ooh, alright, big shot” Zayn said, backing off with a laugh. And no one noticed when Louis stuck his middle finger up at him as he left.

 

Louis and Niall were left to their own devices, which obviously lead into a bunch of havoc. The two of them should not be allowed in a room full of such expensive and grand items, especially since Niall had picked up some ancient art exhibit which resembled a football and started throwing it back and forth between him and Louis. And when security came over, it was like they were the same teenagers back in college, he came running over and Louis and Niall ran away giggling, throwing it between one another over the head of the security.

 

“Boys, this is extremely important artwork” The security pleaded “You need to put it down”

 

“What?” Niall said, throwing it over his head to Louis. “Sorry mate, can’t hear ya. That pianos a bit loud”

 

“I think he said he wants to play footie, Niall” Louis shouted, gaining the attention of the crowd in the room alongside the press that just turned up to cover the night. Louis should have been on his best behaviour, really he should have. But even as the cameras began flashing in his direction, he couldn’t care less.

 

“Oh! Of course” Niall laughed, he waited for Louis to throw it back and then gently placed it on the floor. He gazed up between his lashes at the security “Okay, you’re midfield, I’m the striker and Louis is goalie”

 

“But I’m shit in goal” Louis pouted.

 

Niall snorted a loud laugh as he began to kick this art piece that was most likely going to break into a thousand pieces at any moment but Louis couldn’t care, he and Niall could afford to the damages for it, if need be.

 

“You know I could get you arrested!” The security threatens, attempting to reach for the art piece as Niall slyly kicked it past him. Louis watched with wild eyes and a roar of laughter as the security tripped over his own feet.

 

“Horan coming up to the mark, is he gonna do it? Is this going to be a victory for Ireland?”

 

Louis crouched down, ready to catch it, mainly because he didn’t really want to pay for it. He laughed as Niall booted the ball towards him and Louis watched with eagle eyes as it began to fly towards him, he heard the people in the room gasp. He waited for it to come close and slid forward in his extremely expensive suit to floor and managed to catch it.

 

He stood up on his knees with a cheer “A fucking victory for England once again! Footballs coming home!”

 

He placed the piece down onto the floor, he undid his suit jacket and pulled his dress shirt over his head. He threw his arms in the air in laughter “Winner!” He shouted in a mix of pure joy and adrenaline.

 

“Louis!” Niall shouted.

 

Louis reached down and pulled his shirt from his head, he glanced at Niall and then at where he was looking. He saw as two other security guards walked into the building, he glanced back at Niall with a splitting grin.

 

“Shall we?” He mouthed.

 

Niall snorted, he stood to his feet and nodded.

 

Louis caught the eyes of the security as they clocked the two of them, he glanced behind him at Zayn who was biting back a laugh in the corner, attempting to remain professional  “We’ll meet you at the bar” he said.

 

Louis nodded to Niall and at that moment they both began legging it, their little legs running as fast as they could out of the building, ducking under the security’s arms and down the countless stairs. They were both laughing hysterically, so much so, Louis couldn’t even concentrate on the pap’s that were following him with a camera flashing away in his face. He would deal with this in the morning.

 

They ran for a while until they were certain they were out of sight and safe, Louis was ahead so he came to a stop first. He grasped onto the nearest wall to him and hunched over breathless, he glanced behind him as Niall stopped and let out a deep sigh.

 

“Fuck” Niall said, breathless. “That was fucking stupid”

 

Louis locked eyes with Niall and they both let out a roar of laughter once again, snorting all over the place. Louis lost it, he shuffled back until his back hit the wall and he slid down it until he sat on the floor.

 

“Do you think maybe we shouldn’t have done that?” Louis asked between deep breaths.

 

“Probably” Niall nodded, catching his breath back “But, it’s a funny as fuck story”

 

“Yes” Louis laughed, he rested his head back on the wall. He glanced around him “Shit. I didn’t even ask Zayn where we would meet him”

 

“Well, I saw him making his excuses as we started to run so I’m sure he’ll catch up with us soon”

 

Louis nodded. It was stupid, the first thing he wanted to do was get his phone out of his pocket and tell Harry, tell him how stupid he had acted after only two glasses of champagne. But he shook that idea away. He needed to focus on himself, not on Harry. He only had two weeks left before this was all over and he needed to distance himself eventually, before it all came tumbling down.

 

“Here he is” Niall announced, pulling Louis from his thoughts.

 

Now, when Louis glanced behind Niall. He expected to see Zayn, just Zayn, walking towards him. What he most definitely did not expect was to see him walking side by side with the exact man that ruined their friendship in the first place. Louis’ face physically faltered, he didn’t know whether to make a run for it now or just melt on the spot.

 

He looked older, obviously, but more defined. He had filled out his tall body, that was for sure, he definitely had some sort of muscle definition to him now. He also had stubble, Louis could never remember him ever having facial hair. His hair was wilder, still perfectly styled however longer. He looked good, still as handsome as Louis remembered. Which was a bummer. He was hoping he would have became extremely ugly, maybe grown a mullet and lost a few teeth.

 

“You two haven’t changed” Zayn shouted as he approached them “Are you tryna get yourselves arrested in Paris? Funny as fuck though!”

 

“We were bored” Niall defended “We might be older but we certainly haven’t changed”

 

“Yeah, no shit mate” Zayn laughed, clasping him on the back. “I see you’ve killed Lou in the process”

 

“I’m too old and unfit for this shit” Louis said, taking a deep breath. He was avoiding eye contact. “Also, was there any other paps on your way here?”

 

“There’s a few lurking about”

 

“Great” Louis rolled his eyes. He struggled to push himself back up the wall so he could stand to his feet “I can’t wait to be front page tomorrow. Louis Tomlinson, award winning Director seen defacing grand art pieces and running from the law”

 

“The cons of being famous” Zayn said, full of false pity. “Oh well, at least it’ll make you more interesting”

 

“All publicity is good publicity, _baby_ ” Louis winked. “Now I’ve ruined my suit, I might as well go to some shabby bar and drink to my heart's content”

 

“Perfect, I know just the place!” Zayn grinned. He glanced at Louis and then over his shoulder and he stilled “Oh, yeah. You guys remember Aidan, right?”

 

“Yeah, yeah” Niall nodded, he reached his hand out for Aidan to shake “long time no see, mate”

 

“Big fan of yours this season, Niall. Doing England proud, always knew you’d get somewhere with it” Aidan said, clasping Niall’s hand in his own.

 

Louis hated this. He was so done with awkward situations, it seemed like his entire life was one massive awkward moment.

 

“What are you doing with yourself?”

 

“Oh, you know, this and that” Aidan shrugged, clearly ashamed “I’m gigging wherever anyone will have me”

 

“Least you’re trying Mate” Niall said, genuinely. “Nice to hear you’re still singing. Louis gave it up straight after he left, I don’t think I’ve heard him sing since”

 

“That’s because I’m too busy” Louis defended. And that’s when Aidan’s eyes locked with his. And Louis lost his breath for a moment.

 

“Too busy to sing?” Aidan asked “how is that possible?”

 

“Easy. A real job” Louis said and with that he turned his back to them and faced the street ahead of them, full of late night cafes, bars and pubs “this way is it, Zayn?”

 

“Yeah” Zayn  confirmed behind him.

 

“Fantastic” Louis said, walking ahead of the group.

 

Oh how he wished Harry was here.

 

They were all sat round a table in some pub that Zayn had found in the back streets, it was much quieter, seemed more English in there rather than French. Which made the understanding all the more easier for Louis who had proven to his old best friend that he was still a light weight, three pints in and he was tipsy. He had avoided eye contact with Aidan, he knew that if he just got on with his evening, talked to Niall and Zayn and distracting himself with the alcohol then he may be able to deal with it, with no issues.

 

The same couldn’t be said for _Drunk Louis_ , the version of himself that would cause an argument over someone breathing the wrong way. He just had to pace himself.

 

“So then, me and Aidan were backpacking around Thailand right? And we met some other travellers, we all sorta moulded together, ended up working on some farm for a month. It was insane, the countryside over there is amazing man” Zayn said, he had been explaining how he had spent the first two years after Uni simply travelling the world, finding his muse. Something Louis envied. “One of the pieces that was displayed tonight was something I had painted when I was over there. I sat on top of this hill for six hours and just painted the view”

 

“Sounds amazing mate” Niall smiled, nodding his head. “You’ve been busy, haven’t you?”

 

“I have indeed. But like I said, I’ve been keeping tracks on what you two have been doing” Zayn stated, glancing to Louis who was sitting quietly beside Niall. “I can’t believe the success you’ve had Lou, I mean, I can, you always had a talent for it. But the level of success, for your age, it’s just unheard of”

 

“Thanks, I think” Louis said through a short laugh, he picked up his pint glass to take a sip.

 

“You’re on the same level as Spielberg, Lou. People are comparing your vision to him” Zayn encouraged “surely you can see how much your fucking smashing it?”

 

Louis shrugged, he had never thought about it “I guess. I’m always too busy to actually sit down and think about it, just work, work, work. That’s all my life is. And then getting blackout drunk every now and then”

 

“No change there then” Aidan added in, smiling behind his drink “Do you all remember that time Louis decided to climb the monument outside campus? The one which was literally barricaded so you couldn’t climb it”

 

“Yes” Niall snorted “And he had taken his shirt off and tied it around his neck as a cape, for some reason. Climbed all the way up there, shouted about being the new bloody batman and then was too scared to get down”

 

“Campus security came and everything. Had to ring the fire brigade to come and get him” Aidan laughed loudly, his head throwing back with the laughter and Louis couldn’t help but smile. Even if he really didn’t want to. “I think I have the video still, on my laptop”

 

“Oh god” Louis face palmed at the thought of it. He had completely forgotten about the most mortifying moment of his University life. “Please, don’t bring it up”

 

“What about the time Louis got stupidly drunk one night with some random girl he made friends with? Turned up in the dorm lounge, where we were all just minding our own business playing Fifa and he comes in with a traffic cone on his head in nothing but his boxers and a pair of workboots” Zayn smiled at the memory “He was so drunk he couldn’t even tell us what happened. He was just dancing around the room singing and dancing”

 

“That was so weird” Niall laughed, elbowing Louis in his side “you were a riot, you still are”

 

“Talking of riots… Remember when Louis tried to convince everyone in the campus pub to join him in a riot to protest the need to wear trousers in lectures?” Aidan said, his eyeline focused on Louis as his smile reached his eyes.

 

“I didn’t realise this was an evening for you all to bring up all my embarrassing moments. I’m a changed man, I’m more grown up now” Louis huffed, crossing his arms.

 

“You literally just got chased by security out of a galleria because you were using an art exhibit as a football” Aidan accused, cocking his brow. And Louis patted his mouth to reply but he had him there.

 

“You and Harry are always up to mischief when you’re drunk” Niall said, Louis watched as the eyes of the other boys turned to his attention “You should see them lads, he’s replaced me with some curly haired actor”

 

“Harry styles?” Aidan asked and Louis nodded “Isn’t he a massive prick? My mate did his hair and makeup before an interview once, said he was so angry he snapped the makeup brushes in half and threw a drink over him”

 

Louis barked a laugh, he knew Harry was a diva. “He probably did, that’s Harry for you”

 

“He still has tantrums on set with Louis” Niall added in, obviously unbothered about the fact he was revealing this to people he didn’t know if he could trust or not. “They bicker all the time, well, they used to. Now Harry comes for me. He’s too busy ogling Louis now”

 

“Yeah” Louis quickly jutted in before any questions could come their way “You should hear them both, the thing is, it’s not even arguments over anything decent. They’re like two toddlers fighting over a broken toy”

 

“No it’s not” Niall defended.

 

“Oh sure”Louis snorted. “ _You’re an idiot, no you’re an idiot, well you’re a bigger idiot_ ” he mimicked.

 

“That was like once!”

 

“That’s more than enough, half the time Harry’s right. You’re only upset because he tells you you’re a bum, which isn’t wrong, you literally spend all your free time on my movie set” Louis scoffed.

 

“Attached to Louis’ hip as always then?” Aidan laughed.

 

“He’s worse” Louis replied, with a smile. “Has a hissy fit if I don’t text him back within a minute. He’s got attachment issues. Wants me all to himself”

 

Niall groaned from beside Louis, he placed his glass onto the table. “Anyway, I preferred when we were picking on Louis. So shall we talk about the time he pissed himself on a night out?”

 

“Oh for fuck sake” Louis said, dropping his head onto the table.

 

He sat with the people who once meant the world to him, reminiscing on the times they spent together. The more Louis listened, the more evident it became that his Uni binge drinking was rather extreme. He was drunk nearly every day, embarrassing himself at every spare moment but a lot of their best memories came from binge drinking like every other late teen in Uni, it was easy to mould into the flow of it. And even with Aidan here, in all of his glory, Louis was angry at the past or upset with him. He was actually enjoying his company, memories of the time when they were as close as they once were. Louis just seemed to slot back into it like nothing had changed, but they may have been because he was now five drinks down.

 

“I’m going to pop outside for a cig” Louis announced, gulping the last dreg from his pint glass. The boys nodded, however Aidan nodded “I’ll come” and Louis couldn’t exactly deny him.

 

He grabbed his coat from beside him and his lighter than he had placed on the table, he slid out from the table first, allowing Aidan to follow. He swerved through the people and out of the back door where the small designated smoking area was. He had asked last time he was at the bar. He held the door open for Aidan as he stepped out, he pulled his jacket over his body with a shiver, you forget how cold it is once you’ve been inside warming your body with beer.

 

He walked ahead to the bench in the corner, he needed to sit down. He rounded the bench table and sat down on the side closest to the gate that closed them in, he glanced up to see Aidan mirroring his steps and sat opposite him. Louis pulled out his packet, pulled out a cigarette and placed it between his lips. He reached for his lighter, used his free hand to block the wind and lit the end of it. He inhaled with a content feeling, enjoying the hit he had on the back of his throat. He exhaled and placed his lighter in front of him. He leant his free arm onto the bench and rested his other elbow on the wood, his hand floating by his chin with the cigarette.

 

“So” Aidan said, inhaling his own. “Crazy, hey? Seeing each other after so long”

 

“Yeah, could say that mate” Louis chuckled through his nerves. “I was shitting myself if I’m honest. Seeing you both after so long, kinda nerve wracking ain’t it?”

 

“Definitely. I almost didn’t come. Zayn told me I had to stop being such a pussy and face it” Aidan shrugged.

 

Louis laughed “Sounds like Zayn, that’s for sure”

 

“He’s really missed you, you know. He spoke about you a lot over the years, he would text me or ring me every time he saw you on his TV or in an article online. He’s so proud of you, Lou” Aidan admitted and Louis smiled, sadly. “I’m proud of you too. I always knew you’d be successful”

 

“Yeah, well, that’s probably because this job is the most important thing in my life. Always has been, ain’t it?”

 

“You can say that again” Aidan agreed. “Trying to spend any time with you other than when you were shit faced was near impossible, Lou. You were so invested”

 

Louis nodded “Yeah, I know” he admitted. He sat back and thought for a second as he exhaled smoke from his parted lips “I’m sorry, you know? For like how it all ended, I’ve always been dramatic”

 

“You reacted the same as anyone else would, Lou. If anyone should apologise, I suppose it should be really. I just lost you, you know. To your work, to studies, you didn’t have time for anyone other than Niall. And I was your boyfriend Lou, you didn’t even have time for me”

 

“I know. Well, I know that now. I’ve had more than enough time to sit and think about it all, haven’t I? I just don’t think I should have committed to a relationship when the only thing I was really committed to was finding my career.” Louis admitted through a sigh, he reached his free hand up to rub his eyes. He paused as he glanced up at Aidan “I understand why you did it”

 

“It wasn’t because I didn’t love you. Because I did. I was just lonely and desperate to get you back, I just wanted your attention. I probably didn’t pick the right way about it, did it?”

 

Louis shrugged “Probably not, but it’s over now. I can’t sit and cry over it forever. I didn’t cry over it for that long anyway, I just forced myself into my work and left it in the past. I’ve had time to think about it though, which is why it’s been so easy to forgive and forget. I was cold with you earlier, but that was more a defence mechanism more than anything”

 

“I expected you to leave when you saw me, so I’d say your reaction was better” Aidan smiled, flicking his cigarette into the ashtray. “I’ve really fucking miss you, I don’t know if it’s just the alcohol making me say it or because I just _need_ to. But, I never for even a minute stopped thinking about you Lou”

 

Louis sighed, he flicked his cigarette to the ground and shook his head “That was a long time ago now Aidan. We’re different people now”

 

“I know that, I do. But, that doesn’t mean I have forgotten how I felt four years ago and how I’ve always felt. I’ve been silently sat at home supporting you, every time you achieved something new… it just, I don’t know, I just had this feeling in the pit of my stomach like I should be celebrating with you, telling you how amazing you are, how talented and I ruined that”

 

“You didn’t ruin anything. We fizzled out, Aidan” Louis shrugged “it happens. It’s a college romance”

 

“Back then, you would have said it was a _forever_ thing”

 

“I know” Louis nodded, his heart sank as he looked at Aidan again. He could see it all, the years they were attached to each other, the memories, the love they shared. “But, I was young”

 

“How long are you in Paris for?” Aidan suddenly asked, leaning forward onto the bench table.

 

Louis frowned “Like two more weeks, at most. Why?”

 

“I’m here for eight days, me and Zayn are sticking around so we can see some sights and make use of his free hotel stay”

 

“Lovely” Louis said, confused by the sudden change in conversation. “That’ll be nice for you both”

 

“How would you feel about seeing me again?”

 

“What?” Louis’ expression dropped.

 

“Like, tomorrow night?”

 

“Woah, calm down kiddo” Louis breathed out a laugh, reaching nervously into his pocket for his cigarettes again. This was a good time to chain smoke.

 

“Or whenever you can. Look, this is crazy and so stupid but with your life, I don’t know when I’ll have the chance to ask again. Come out with me, we’ll go out for drinks or whatever suits you, we’ll spend some time with each other and then, if you want to see me again I’d be over the moon, but, if you don’t, that’s okay too”

 

“I don’t really know what you’re suggesting here” Louis mumbled, the cigarette he was lighting straining his voice. He inhaled and placed his lighter down. “Surely you don’t expect to just pick up where we left off? How do you know that I’m not seeing somebody?”

 

“Well, are you?” Aidan challenged.

 

Louis’ lips parted ready to answer but they soon closed quick enough, he thought about it, no, he wasn’t. He couldn’t exactly say he had anyone he was committed to, Harry wasn’t anything more than a friend right now and that was all he was ever going to be.

 

“No, I’m not” Louis eventually said, exhaling.

 

“Neither am I. You believe in fate and the right time still, don’t you? When the universe pulls two people together, you can’t just ignore it, you go for it with everything you have” Aidan declared and Louis remembered just how much of a hopeless romantic he was, that’s what Louis got for dating a literature major. “I’m not asking you to my boyfriend Louis, we barely know each other anymore. I'm just saying, if there’s anything inside you that feels anything at all, then why start as friends and see what happens?”

 

“This is very forward for the first time seeing each other in four years, Aidan. Very Rom-Com of you”

 

Aidan nodded and the smile spread across his face “You love romcom’s. They’re your favourite. And if I remember rightly, you said you wanted a life like one, so, here I am acting as if we’re in one. I’ll give you my number, I’ll text you and see when you’re free and we’ll go on a date”

 

Louis wasn’t sure, he sat back against the gate behind him as he stared at Aidan beneath hooded eyes. He inhaled the smoke between his lips as he mused it over, everything in his heart was telling him to say no, to walk away and end it here on good terms. But his head was telling him to give it ago, what was the harm? He had no one he was committed to. Despite how much he wished he had been. He told himself he needed to move on, maybe dating again would help that.

 

Eventually, exhaling a breath Louis nodded his head “Fine, I’ll go one one date with you”

 

“Knew I could get you to agree” Aidan smiled widely.

 

Louis didn’t know whether he would regret this or not. But, the way to deal with that was to exchange numbers with Aidan and head back inside to ensure he was drunk in the next half an hour so he could sleep without his mind running wild that night. And that’s exactly what he did.

 

The four of them had four more pints each before Louis called it a night, much to everyone’s disappointment. Even so, Niall agreed to come back with him which soon lead to Zayn and Aidan suggesting they walk back with them as they were most likely to head out for more drinks after anyway.

 

The four of them walked side by side along the wide path, laughing and joking as they pushed one another and brought up more stories that their mind could conjure up. Niall was drunk, more so than the others, so he was dancing ahead of them, singing loudly in random people’s face and being an absolute nuisance. None of them bothered to stop him, he was enjoying himself. And none of them could be bothered to do anything about it.

 

Zayn and Louis walked side by side, arms wrapped over each other’s shoulder. Aidan was walking slightly ahead, on the phone to his friend back in England about some Gig they had coming up. Louis smiled, feeling like the naive eighteen year old he once was, surrounded by his best friends and feeling utterly content.

 

“How’s the movie going then?”

 

Louis dropped his head and lifted it to look at Zayn “Honestly? It’s been the most stressful time of my life. I’ve never worked on such a fucking impossible task”

 

“Anything to do with that dickhead actor?”

 

Louis quickly shook his head “No, Harry’s not an issue” he quickly defended. “Well, he was to begin with but he’s not a dickhead, you know. He’s actually really nice. I’m actually pretty close with him”

 

Zayn hummed “How close are we saying Lou?”

 

“Shut up”

 

“Seriously” Zayn said, patting Louis’ shoulder where his hand was placed “He’s always had a gay vibe”

 

“A _gay_ _vibe_? Fucking hell Zayn. What even is a gay vibe?”

 

“I don’t know” He shrugged “But, he looks fucking miserable in every picture he has with that model. I’ve seen the pictures lately, of the two of you. He’s actually smiling for once, craziness”

 

“It’s the _Louis_ _Tomlinson_ effect”

 

“Sure it is” Zayn snorted. “So, how close?”

 

“I mean it, shut up. Me and Harry, we’re just friends” Louis said, accepting it himself. “That’s all we’ll ever be”

 

“You don’t seem like you’re too happy about that Lou”

 

“Oh well, this is life ain’t it? You don’t get what you want, no matter what the universe says or does, you deal with what life hands you you”

 

“Woah” Zayn laughed “That doesn’t sound like the Louis I remember. What about all your _love will conquer all_ speeches you used to give me?”

 

“I grew up”

 

Zayn frowned, pulling Louis together into his shoulder “I don’t think growing up qualifies as an excuse Lou. I don’t know what’s happened over the years, but, the Louis that loved the fairytale life and happy ever after, he was a lot happier”

 

“I’m happy” Louis stated. But was he?

 

“Yeah, well, let’s hope so. Anyway, Aidan told me he gave you his number. There’s no harm in giving that ago either, never know what might happen”

 

“I promised one date” Louis confirmed, glancing at Aidan who walked ahead of them.

 

“One date could lead to several dates, a proposal, a dog, a house, you know, all that shit”

 

“Don’t get ahead of yourself Zayn” Louis laughed, he glanced forward at Niall who was skipping along the path and that’s when he noticed the faint flashes from behind some bushes “The pap’s are here. I swear, I didn’t get this much attention before this movie”

 

“Where?” Zayn asked and Louis pointed over to where someone was ruffling away in one of the trees ahead of them “Ah. What do you think they’ll print about you?”

 

“That I’m heading home for a foursome” Louis snorted “I mean, you have your arm around me. You’ll be my boyfriend tomorrow”

 

“I’m honoured” Zayn said, reaching a hand up to his chest. “Louis Tomlinson’s boyfriend, what a treat”

 

“You’re an idiot” Louis said fondly.

 

Eventually they reached their hotel, Niall had already wondered in, not bothering to say goodbye to either of his friends. He had most likely head straight to the bar to corrupt Louis’ cast or gone straight to bed. The goodbye was sweet and simple, he asked Zayn to meet him on set tomorrow and he would show him around which he quickly agreed to. He also asked Aidan to tag along as well, which was more than excited to accept.

 

He left them both with a hug and promised to text them the next day. They left, side by side as they head for more drinks somewhere else.

 

And as Louis walked into the hotel lobby, he glanced up at the clock on the wall, it was only eleven. He bit his lip as he walked and reached into his pocket for his phone, he unlocked it as he pressed the button for the lift.

 

He stood, waiting for it to reach him and opened his text messages. He had three. Only from Harry. He had this wave of guilt wash over him, should he really be feeling apologetic for accepting to meet up with his ex for a date in Paris. It really shouldn’t be a big deal.

_Hey Lou. Hope you’re okay. Just checking in, want to make sure it’s all gone okay with your friend. Let me know! H. Xx_

 

_so you haven’t responded. Therefor, I’ve came to two possible conclusions. 1, you’ve made it up with him and you’re having a great time. 2, it’s gone terrible and you’re dead. Let me know._

 

_My last text was dramatic. It was meant to be a joke but you can’t tell that from texts. Niall’s back, so imagine you are too. He knocked on my door to call me a curly bastard and left. Come up to my room. I’ve got snacks, food and a movie at the ready! Xxx_

 

Louis sighed, his eyes tracing over the request to join Harry in his room for cuddles and movies. He didn’t know whether it was the best idea, considering how he was attempting to distance himself. But, as the lift opened, he stepped inside, gazed at the floors and despite his worries, pressed the floor for Harry’s room.

 

He stood outside of Harry’s room only five minutes later and was knocking the tune to football's coming home, laughing at himself for how well he was doing it. And when Harry opened the door and shook his head at Louis, all Louis did was laugh.

“Get in, you fucking loser” Harry snorted, shoving the door open wider as he walked off into his room.

Louis followed, already undoing his buttons on his suit jacket as he walked in. He was shaking his suit jacket from his shoulders as he gazed at the feast Harry had laying on the end of the bed, taking advantage of the room service allowance they all had. Pizza, chips, chocolate cake, a bottle of wine and then a load of sweets and chocolate Harry must have physically bought from the shop down the road.

“You were optimistic weren’t you?” Louis snorted, throwing his suit jacket onto the floor.

“You’re a slob” Harry said, frowning at the jacket. “No, I just thought you might have needed cheering up depending on how your night went”

“You’re an angel” Louis laughed. He gazed down at his outfit and then at Harry. He was dressed down, his hair still damp from his recent shower, most of it falling on his face. He was dressed in some oversized top, a few holes tracing around the neck line and a pair of baggy grey shorts. He looked soft and adorable.

“Are you just going to stand there? Because I rented Notting Hill and intend to watch it”

“I love Notting Hill” Louis stated.

“I know you do” Harry rolled his eyes as he jumped onto the bed with a sigh. He shuffled up to his pillow and sat cross legged with the pizza in front of him.

“Do you think you have anything that would fit me? It’s just this suit is not comfortable for movies and chill at all”

“But you look so good” Harry pouted.

Louis shook his head fondly “Shut up” he dragged his tie from around his neck and flung it to where his jacket was. “Seriously, if I eat in these trousers I’m pretty sure they’ll split. And they weren’t cheap”

“I mean, you just threw a three thousand pound suit jacket on some hotel room floor and your concerned about your trousers?” Harry tilted his head, his eye brows furrowed.

“Stop judging me, Mr Judgy pants”

“Mr judgy pants?” Harry snorted. “You’re tipsy, aren’t you? Idiot. Have a look in my wardrobe, take what you want”

“Thank you” Louis said, sticking his tongue out as he traced his way past the bed and towards his wardrobe. His fingers played with the buttons of his shirt as he began to unbutton it, he glanced at the countless amount of clothes. Nobody needed this much.

“Louis. Your arselooks fantastic in those trousers, like I could easily worship it for the rest of my life”

“Not listening” Louis sang, his cheeks blushing as he hid in the other direction. He opened his shirt and reached for the plain black T-shirt that lay on one of the shelves, he shuffled the shirt from his back and replaced it with the tee. “I want shorts but you’re so much bigger than me, they would just fall down”

“No they won’t, that’s what the ties are for” Harry said. “You know, you undressing around me just isn’t fair”

Lou’s glanced over his shoulder as he unfastened his trousers “You’re like a horny teenager. Control yourself”

He kept his eyes on Harry as he dropped his trousers to the floor, he hooked them on one of his ankles and kicked them into the corner with the rest of his clothes. Harry groaned and grabbed a pillow, he pulled it up to his face and hid. Louis laughed as he turned back to look for some kind of shorts.

“You know, I think anyone in the same room as your arse should feel blessed”

“Stop it!” Louis warned, teasingly. He huffed as he looked inside the wardrobe “help me find some”

“You’re so lazy… and once again, you’ve now thrown a six thousand pound pair of trousers on the floor” Harry rolled his eyes.

Louis kept his gaze in the wardrobe, picking up random articles of clothing to search. He felt Harry approach him, quite literally. Louis bolted up right as he felt Harry’s front to his back, leaning against his bare legs. The feeling of him being so close sent electricity through his body.

“There should be some here…” Harry drawled out, he reached his arm past Louis and his hand was at the top shelf that Louis wouldn’t have reached. As Harry reached onto his tiptoes, his body slid against Louis’.

There was no doubt whatsoever that Harry was doing this purposely, to gain a reaction from Louis. But it was pointless because Louis was stunned, standing straight as a stick as Harry brushed against him.

“Shorts, Styles” Louis eventually urged.

Harry laughed, Louis felt his breath against the back of his neck and shivered “I tried” he breathed out. He grabbed a pair of black cotton shorts and held them over Louis’ shoulder “There you go”.

“Thank…” Louis squealed, just as he was thanking Harry he felt the hand smack his arse and the noise that escaped him was inhuman.

Harry snorted a laugh as he pulled his body away from Louis and back to his bed, Louis consoled himself as he reached down to put the shorts onto him and hide himself from the devil that was Harry Styles. And as he turned around, he hated how innocent he suddenly looked, bunched up with a blanket over his shoulder a slice of pizza in his mouth. He was gazing at Louis with mischievous eyes.

“You’re pushing it” Louis warned playfully.

“What?” Harry said, acting as innocent as ever. “Hurry up and sit down, I’ve been waiting for you so I could turn this movie on”

Louis tied the strings in the shorts so they clung to his body a little better, Harry really was so much taller than him, it made steaming his clothes all the more difficult.

He scooted up onto the bed in the empty space beside Harry and crossed his legs to match him, Harry grinned at him as he pressed play on the remote

“This is one of my favourites”

“Notting Hill is one of everyone’s favourites”

“You always have an answer to everything, don’t you?”

“I’m just stating facts, sis”

Harry snorted “you’ve got to stop using Twitter”

“You need to get down with the kids like me” Louis said, reaching for a slice of pizza.

It was silent for only a few seconds before Harry spoke, he leant back against the headboard “how was it?”

“What?” Louis said, mumbling over a mouthful of pizza.

“Tonight, duh”

“Oh” Louis said, he swallowed the food in his mouth and nodded “it went really well, actually”

“Yeah?”

“Me and Zayn were great. As soon as I saw him it was like nothing had changed, you know? We just said fuck it and left whatever happened in the past. I’m so proud of him man. He’s so talented” Louis said, genuinely admiring his friend as the title appeared on the TV.

“See, nothing to worry about” Harry smiled warmly.

“I’ve invited him to the set tomorrow, show him around and all that”

“Ah, sick. Can’t wait to meet him”

“Yeah” Louis nodded, he gulped as he placed the crust back onto the plate he took the slice from. “I also invited Aidan, too”

“Who’s Aidan?” Harry asked, taking his attention from TV. “Is that your ex?”

“Yeah” Louis nodded slowly.

“Oh. So, like, you’re cool with him?”

“Yeah. It was so easy, you know? Just to fall back into place with them. It’s like we’d never separated. Aidan apologised, I apologised and that was it, it was all in the past” Louis shrugged, attempting to avoid mentioning what their conversation actually involved.

“So you’ve forgiven him? That’s good, I mean, it’s good to be friends with your exes, innit? It’s not like you’ll see him much anyway” Harry shrugged “but, it’s good to clear the air”

“Yeah, about that…” Louis said, pausing as he glanced at him. Harry turned back to Louis with a frown, pizza half in his mouth and half hanging out. “He kinda asked me out, on a date, in Paris”

“What?” Harry choked, he reached his hand up to cover his mouth. He had a frown in his eyes as he quickly chewed the food in his mouth, he swallowed quickly “what do you mean he asked you out? Who does he think he is? Cheats on you, breaks your heart and then asks you on a date? What the fuck man”

“Yeah…” Louis breathed out.

“You didn’t” Harry said, his eyes dropping as the realisation hit him. “You said yes, didn’t you?”

“Kinda”

“Fucking hell, Louis” Harry rolled his eyes. He sat back, leaning, with his arms crossed over his chest.

“I mean, there’s no harm in going on a date is there?”

“If it went so well then why did you come back rather than stay out with _him_?”

“Oh, come on Harry. It’s not like I’m gonna say yes to going on a date with him and end up shagging him”

“Who knows” Harry shrugged. “You told me he broke your heart Lou, why would you give him the time of day? He seems like a dickhead”

“He has his reasons, I had mine. It’s been four years H, people change. There’s nothing stopping me is there?”

“I just think you’re making a mistake. You never go back to an ex, that’s a rule. There an ex for a reason. The fact you even agreed is silly. God, you didn’t do it because you think it’s some true love thing like in your books did you?” Harry glanced at Louis with a scowl.

“No I bloody didn’t. Stop being so dramatic. It’s one date, that’s it”   

“Until you shag him and then it’s endless dates, until you’re back together, buying a house together, getting a dog and having loads of babies”  

“Why do people keep saying that?” Louis whispered beneath his breath. He soon found his voice again “No, Harry. I don’t know what will come from it but at the minute all I’ve agreed to is one date, that’s it. Also, what’s so wrong with babies and dogs?”

“Nothing. You’d just be living with someone you _settled_ with, not someone you actually want”

“Fuckin’ hell Harry. It’s a date, not a wedding. Chill. And who says I won’t want him?” Louis challenged.

“Because. You won’t” Harry said, firmly. He sighed “I don’t like him”

“You haven’t even met him” Louis let out a desperate laugh, this was the most ridiculous conversation he had ever had.

“Let’s just watch the movie. Unless your boyfriend wouldn’t want you alone with me?”

“You’re impossible” Louis rolled his eyes, he reached forward and pushed Harry’s arm. “Idiot”

“Don’t touch me, he might get jealous”

Louis groaned, he fell back against the headboard with a huff. If he knew that Harry would react like like a huffy teenager who didn’t get their own way then he wouldn’t have bothered. Eventually he had to learn that if he wasn’t prepared, then he would have to let Louis go.

“This movie makes me cry” Harry stated, clearing the air. “So I will cry, just so you know”

“Didn’t realise dragons could cry”

“You’re an arsehole, you know that right?”

“It’s my tagline. Louis Tomlinson, the arsehole”

“Should have been your middle name”

Louis soon fell back into comfort, it was easily done with Harry. They would bicker over something pathetic, then two minutes later they would be back to normal as always. It was usually Harry’s fault, being the stroppy actor that he was.

He was in complete comfort, wrapped up Harry’s bed watching one of his favourite movies. Eventually they moved the trays of food from the bed and wrapped up against one another like it was second nature. Harry lay back on the sheets, one arm behind his head and one across Louis’ shoulder. Louis was resting his head on Harry’s chest, one hand resting on his stomach while one of his legs draped over Harry’s. It was easy enough to fall into routine like that, even though they really shouldn’t.

And Harry did cry, attempting console it, sneakily teaching his hand up to wipe the back of his eyes and Louis didn’t bring it up. It was nice to know that Harry actually had feelings, somewhere deep down in that ice cold heart of his.

“Funny, innit?” Harry whispered, his chin resting against the top of Louis’ head “Kinda similar to our movie. And to us. I mean, other than your famous as well”

“What do you mean?” Louis mumbled against Harry’s chest, his eyes focused on the screen.

“I mean, she doesn’t want anyone to know about William because her life is full of controversy and publication, like every little thing she does is displayed for the world to see. And she doesn’t really want William to deal with it all, so at first she keeps it hidden for that reason. As much as William loves her and wants to be with her, she knows she can’t. Their worlds are just too different”

Louis mused over the thought “I guess. I mean, she’s a bit of a dick though ain’t she? I mean, she uses him to hide away from everything. You’ve never used me to hide from anything plus we’re not still sleeping together like they are”

“They didn’t sleep together until just now” Harry said, noting the scene they were at “I don’t know. It just kinda reminds me of us”

“Yeah, but this is a movie. A romance people wish for. Their ending is perfect, ending up together in London, with their fairytale ending. All we’ve got is some hotel pizza and Notting Hill” Louis snorted “Our ending is going to be as dull as it gets. You’ll hop on a plane to wherever they need you to be, being all rich and famous and I’ll go back home to Donny for a few weeks to be with my normal family. And all of this, will just be something that happened”

“Way to put a downer on it Lou” Harry huffed.

“It’s true though, isn’t it? Where do you see this ending? Our little friendship of ours”

“Why do you insist that this has to end? You realise friends actually stay friends, right? We don’t have to pretend we don’t exist after this. I mean, we’ll see eachother in interviews and at the premier, then we’ll probably see eachother again. I won’t disappear”

Louis shrugged beneath Harry’s touch “I don’t know. Just seems like it’ll make it easier, for me I mean. Not having you around, means I can’t be tempted to jump into bed with you for cuddles and junk food”

“Why is that so bad?”

“We’re not having this conversation again” Louis sighed “How many bloody times are we going to talk about it? We’ve made our decision, well, I’ve made mine”

“I know. I’m not saying any different Lou, I’m just saying, being friends with me, our little relationship we have even if it is platonic. It’s just nice, innit? There’s nothing wrong with what we’re doing. I’m just saying don’t put an expiration date on things, then it seems like we’re counting down till it inevitably ends”

“Okay” Louis nodded, wanting to end this conversation. “I won’t say it again. As long as you don’t mention changing this from anything but platonic again”

“Okay, deal” Harry said, ruining the moment as Louis felt his lips kiss the top of his head “Just promise nothing will come between us for now?”

“Sure” Louis said. Although he wasn’t sure what he was agreeing to. What was ‘us’ because right now, it was the most unnatural friendship he had ever had.

How was he supposed to continue like this with Harry when he was hiding the fact he was still in love with him.

  



	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Songs dears. 
> 
> Louis Tomlinson - I’m just like you.   
> Myles Paris ft Scotty sire - Kickback.   
> Zayn - Good Years.   
> Avicii- lonely together   
> Miley Cyrus - Malibu.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will be uploaded between 12:00am - 12:30am GMT.

Louis left Harry sleeping the morning after, avoiding a conversation like the night before. They had fell asleep in a hushed conversation about their future, Louis telling Harry how he just couldn’t wait to have a family of his own. And Harry agreeing, however not actually saying it. 

 

Louis wasn’t sure what time it was when he actually fell asleep but he naturally woke up at around seven the next morning and escaped before the overgrown Tarzan awoke to keep him hostage for any longer. He went back to his room, changed into a pair of jeans and shoved a hoodie over Harry’s T-shirt that he was still wearing and with a swift grab of his charger he was out to the door and ready to go. 

 

He was on set, it was ten in the morning and they were running through the final scenes. If they worked hard enough the next couple of days then Louis had a real chance at finishing all acting by the end of the week, if not sooner and the idea of doing so was beyond exciting. He was currently running through some lines with Timothee, checking over his final ever scene with Louis. It was always a sad day when an actor would come to the end of their work on set, although they had only been around each other for such a short amount of time, you managed to build relationships so easily. And with someone as kind, loving and passionate as Tim, it was hard to see him go. 

 

“So, all you’re going to do is finish your scene with the fan, literally the last few lines and then walk off to your car. That’s that. Okay? This is going to be the last scene anyone in the audience sees of you so make it count” 

 

“Wow” Tim said through a short laugh, gazing over his short script “Crazy, isn’t it? How quick this has gone” 

 

“I know” Louis nodded, smiling as he stepped back. “Creating a movie this quickly is fucking insane” 

 

“I know right? Fucking crazy. It’s been great though, hasn’t it? Stressful, hard fucking work and insane but it’s been fun” 

 

“Yeah. I’m really glad you joined the cast mate, your performance has been unlike any I’ve seen before” 

 

“You’re just saying that because you have to” He teased. 

 

Louis shook his head, reaching up to fix his hat “You wish. I’m too nice I’m afraid, I mean it, you’re a star” 

 

“Well, You should know being able to work under your direction has always been a dream of mine and it was everything I could have hoped for” 

 

Louis felt his heart burst at the declaration, no matter who it was or why, whenever anyone said that it broke him. He consoled himself and smiled “Piss off, will ya?” 

 

“You got it” Timothee laughed, running over to the wardrobe department set up in a little camper van. 

 

Louis smiled, genuinely content as he looked at the set in front of him. He knew that this was the third from last location before this would all be over, it was sad, for something so wonderful to come to an end but the idea of him actually doing this, pulling off the impossible was the best feeling in the world. 

 

He sat back in his seat, ready to answer a few emails on his phone as his Assistant began wondering over to him desperately. Louis glanced up at her beneath his lashes “What’s up?” 

 

“Niall rang” She said, out of breath. “He told me to tell you that they’ll be here in ten minutes” 

 

“Okay… So, why are you out of breath?” 

 

She inhaled and exhaled loudly, catching her breath “He told me if I didn’t tell you within one minute of hanging up then he would tell you to sack me” 

 

“Fucking hell” Louis rolled his eyes, if that little Irish twat did one more thing to piss of the people he worked for he was most definitely going to chuck him over the Eiffel Tower at the end of this all. “Okay, tip for you. If Niall Horan tells you to do anything and I mean anything, you tell him to fuck off, okay? I mean it, tell him to  _ fuck off _ and get a job” 

 

“Really?” 

 

“Yes, really. He’s an idiot” Louis stated “me on the other hand, you don’t. So would you mind grabbing me a cup of tea please? I’m desperate” 

 

“Sure, yeah, no problem” 

 

Louis thanked her and sat back, he pulled out his phone and gazed at the countless emails he had from every one who was higher up than him awaiting a date of completion, an update on production, the author being a pain in his ass. He could have replied, but, he didn’t. He could deal with that another day. 

 

He heard the wardrobe door open and he glanced to look as he heard the roar of laughter, he frowned as he watched both Tim and Harry walk out beside each other, actually laughing. To anyone else, it would be normal. But for Louis, watching Harry laugh with anyone but himself was just, well, a massive thing. He was a dick to everyone on set, quite cold and short. 

 

“Oh my god” Harry said, genuinely snorting through his laughter. He stood up and clocked Louis and his smile lit up “Lou! Oh my god” 

 

Louis smiled, a short laugh escaping as he watched the younger lad walk over to him barely containing himself. 

 

“I was hiding in the wardrobe for so long” Harry said, between breaths. “And I finally got Caroline” 

 

“What do you mean?” 

 

“She said I couldn’t scare her and I’ve been trying since this started,  _ finally _ , I got her. She jumped so high she fell right into her makeup table, it was fucking hilarious” 

 

Louis snorted “Wait, how long were you hiding?” 

 

“In the wardrobe? Since half eight this morning” 

 

“So that’s why no one had seen you. You’re such a fucking idiot” Louis laughed, fondly as Harry continued his short laughter.

 

Harry nodded, agreeing with Louis however still finding himself the funniest person ever. Louis rolled his eyes, clocking his attention back onto his phone. Harry rounded where Louis was sitting and stood right behind him, he reached his arms out and brushed them over Louis’ shoulders and rested his chin on the top of Lou’s head with a sigh. 

 

Louis wasn’t used to PDA when it came to Harry, he was usually quite distant during the day, only a subtle touch here and there but never anything to draw attention. But yet, here he was, arms hooked around Louis and resting on him like it was completely normal. 

 

“It’s going to be sad when this ends, isn’t it?” Harry asked, glancing at the scene ahead of them. 

 

“Yeah, it is” Louis agreed, he dropped his phone from his hands and so naturally replaced his phone with Harry’s hands, reaching to hold them as they lay on his chest. He was surprised no one said anything but it seemed as though the crew and cast found it normal, strangely enough. “But, we’ve still got a couple weeks” 

 

“It’s Tim’s last day on set” Louis felt Harry pout above him, his voice actually seeming quite upset. “I liked him. I mean, he’s still got a lot to learn but he’s alright” 

 

“A lot to learn?” 

 

Harry hummed, his thumb stroking Louis’ hand “He’s young and enjoying it and I love that for him. But the only characters he’s played as of yet are LGBT characters and he told me that he loves it and all, but he also said he wanted to be taken seriously. He wants to get into action movies and thrillers” 

 

“He could definitely do that. He has the talent” 

 

“I know. But you know what casting are like, anyone who looks a little too fragile or too cliché, they ignore. I’ll have to have a word with my contacts, help him out a bit” 

 

Louis frowned, he lifted his head back forcing Harry to lift his chin and look down at him “You’re being a bit too nice Harry Styles, what’s up with you? Are you sick?” 

 

Harry shook his head, glancing down at Louis with a fond smile “I’m just content, you know? Nothing’s pissing me off today. Other than you sneaking out this morning, which by the way,  _ rude _ ” 

 

“Ah, I didn’t sneak out. You were snoring in my ear and I had to get to work” Louis defended, dropping his head back down for Harry to rest against. But instead, he rested it in the crook of Louis’ shoulder. 

 

Harry was insanely lucky that this area had been secluded so no one could see what was going on, if a pap was around they would have ate this up on a plate. 

 

“Do it again and I’ll have to tie you to my bed for safekeeping” Harry mumbled against Louis’ neck. 

 

Louis hated this. Hated how his skin would turn a blush red, how his body would shiver beneath Harry’s words and his whole mind would tremble at the thought of it. 

 

They have had sex twice, both times they were drunk. Well Louis was drunk both times. He had faint memories of it all, how rough Harry was, how into it. And the idea of Harry locking him to his bed posts was something Louis could definitely see happening. And something he wished they would have done. 

 

“Maybe so” Louis replied, his words hushed. 

 

“I could but you’d probably like it too much. Don’t want to overstep the mark, do we?” Harry said, sighing as he lifted his head. His arms slid from around Louis’ chest and patted his shoulders a couple of times. “It’s hot isn’t it?” 

 

Harry in a good mood was not something Louis enjoyed, knowing that his main target for teasing and torturing would be himself. He was lucky not to be sporting a hard on in front of his entire crew, especially with that image. 

 

“You’re a menace” Louis eventually drawled. 

 

“I know” Harry declared, a proud smile across his face. 

 

“Sit down and behave” Louis ordered as he saw Tim make his way to the set. 

 

“Yes, Sir” Harry saluted with a giggle. He pulled up a free chair and placed it beside Louis’, making a point of kicking his legs up over the arm and onto Louis’ lap. 

 

Louis glanced down at Harry’s legs and then up at Harry, he had placed the sunglasses that were on his head over his eyes and was smiling lazily at Louis. 

 

“You look like a diva. You’re the living version of a high maintenance actor” 

 

“Oh, and don’t you love it” 

 

Louis snorted, he turned to the  set watching as Tim and the actress they brought in, stand opposite each other on a pathway leading to a main road. 

 

“Okay guys, are you ready?” 

 

Timothee turned to Louis and pouted “I guess” 

 

“Okay. Everyone, on my count we will be rolling Tim’s last scene. Silence around, okay?” 

 

The crew got themselves into place, cameras at every angle and Louis glanced to his sound guy for the go ahead and once he received the nod he turned to Sarah, cueing for her to count down. 

 

“Scene 54, final act” Sarah shouted above the silence. “3,2,1… and Action!” 

 

Just as Louis was ready to become indulged in the scene in front of him he was distracted by Harry, who continued to be the menace that he was. He was tapping his feet up and down on Louis’ lap and singing under his breath. 

 

“Let me lick you up and down till you say stop” Harry mumbled beneath hidden laughter. 

 

“Will you stop?” Louis hissed, no matter how endearing Harry was today. This was important. 

 

“Cause tonight baby, I wanna get freaky wit’ you” 

 

“You’re a child, Harry. An actual child” 

 

“You know, I haven’t had sex in weeks. I’m starting to feel like a reborn virgin” Harry stated, suddenly. His voice still hushed not to distract the production. 

 

Louis frowned, turning his attention fully onto Harry. “Why are you telling me this?” He asked. 

 

Harry shrugged “Because, I’m a sexually frustrated man who has a fit lad in his bed most nights who refuses to let him do anything” he said, matter of factly “I mean, last night for instant. There you are, sprawled over me looking tiny in my clothes with an arse which is award deserving and what do I get? Your drool on my chest” 

 

“I did not drool!” Louis quickly defended. “You’re lucky that I even share a bed with you some nights, that should be enough” 

 

“I don’t think it hits the mark, Lou, my dear  _ friend _ . I mean, sometimes I think about wanking over the pictures I have of you but it seems creepy” 

 

“You’re insane” Louis stated, the blush reappearing across his cheeks. He could see it now, Harry laying in his bed waiting for Louis to inevitably turn up for movies and cuddles, staring at a picture, palming himself over. 

 

“But you’re thinking about it now, aren’t you?” 

 

Louis shook his head “You’re impossible today. Are you purposely trying to distract me or?” 

 

“I don’t know. I’m just a mess” Harry shrugged. 

 

“If you’re that frustrated why don’t you go wank in your dressing room, yeah? Come back refreshed” Louis teased. 

 

Harry actually seemed to consider it “Only if you come” 

 

“God, you’re annoying” 

 

“I can’t wait for the day you turn up at my door again and it’s you asking for it and not me. I’m starting to think I look desperate, chasing after someone who doesn’t want me back. It’s embarrassing” 

 

“Ah, but our wanting is different Harry” Louis started, gazing up at the scene to ensure they were not distracting anyone. “You want me for a shag, I wanted you for  _ you _ ” 

 

“It’s the same thing” 

 

“No, it’s really not” Louis snorted “finding someone hot and wanting to have sex with them is one thing. But, me, I wanted you for it all, sex, cuddles, love, the lot” he admitted “So, I’m afraid you’ll have to find someone else heartless babe” 

 

“There you go again! The pet names” Harry groaned “I’m starting to find the way you speak attractive now as well, I’m losing my mind” 

 

“Maybe You should stop hanging around me so much” Louis suggested, leaning his head against his hand. “I’m becoming a distraction, clearly” 

 

“You’re a nice distraction though. I’d let you distract me any day” 

 

“Oh my god” Louis facepalmed “you’re insufferable today. No wonder you’re so touchy” 

 

“Hey, what’s wrong with me wanting affection?” Harry pouted, his eyes hiding behind the glasses. “You like it when I’m affectionate” 

 

“In private. Even for you, giving out PDA is a bit risky and yet here you are” Louis said, glancing at the legs on his lap “Not a care in the world” 

 

“Maybe I don’t care” Harry simply stated “Maybe I’m fed up of caring what people see and don’t see” 

 

Louis frowned, taking in this version of Harry was hurting his head. He didn’t know if he was coming to some sort of life change phase or he was just so full of pent up frustration that his mind was playing tricks. 

 

“When you’re certain about that, let me know, yeah?” 

 

Harry nodded quick enough, like he was genuinely serious about that. And Louis was lost, the past few days had turned his life into one massive drama. He didn’t know whether he was coming or going, constant confusion on where his head was, who is heart was with and whether his life was even real at all. He was starting to wonder whether he was the plot in this movie and the cameras were on him. 

 

He was distracted from his frantic thoughts as he heard Harry practically growl beside him. “Your  _ friends _ are here” He hissed. 

 

“Play nice” Louis warned. He turned to his other side to see Niall escorting both Zayn and Aidan across the grass and over to where they were shooting. Louis quickly raised his finger to his lips to warn them. 

 

He turned his attention back to the scene ahead of him, one of his hands resting on Harry’s ankle as he did. 

 

He had tuned into the part where Timothee was finishing his conversation with the fam and was about to make his final exit in the movie. 

 

“Do you think you guys will ever get back together?” 

 

Tim’s character paused for a second, his eyes wide as he glanced at the actress playing the fan and he shook his head “I don’t think so, love. I’m afraid that’s it” 

 

“That’s sad. I was kinda routing for you and Taylor. You know there’s a whole fan base of yours that think you two are together?” 

 

“No” He choked out, suddenly panicked. 

 

“We’re probably the nicest part of your fandom. Even if it’s not true, I suppose we’ll never know, but if it is, you should know that we support you. No matter what” 

 

“Thank you” His character choked up, shocked by the declaration. 

 

“Anyway, thanks for the picture. I’m excited for your solo work” 

 

Louis smiled, watching the way Tim portrayed the characters feelings, the look of utter shock and disappointment in himself for all that he had done throughout the movie. He felt Harry’s fingertips trace over his upper arm and he turned to look at him with a smile. 

 

“He’s doing great” Harry whispered. 

 

Louis nodded, he watched as the scene came to an end, the final shot was of Tim looking back at the fan as she walked away and then with a deep sigh, he steps into his car and it drives off into the distance. 

 

He waited for Sarah to shout and after a few minutes of rolling, the long distance shot of the car in the distance, she finally did it “That’s a wrap!” 

 

“Wow” Louis said, clapping his hands alongside everyone else. 

 

They waited, still clapping as the car returned back to the set. The clapping only increased as Timothee stepped out of the car, a wide smile on his face as he was greeted by everyone. 

 

Louis tapped Harry’s ankle, ushering him to get up, which he did. Louis stood to his feet and made his way over to Timothee with Harry at his side. 

 

Timothee greeted him with open arms and Louis was more than happy to humour him, he pulled the young actor into a tight hug, clasping him on the back. 

 

“Fucking amazing” Louis whispered into the crook of his neck. He smiled as he pulled back and grasped his hand to raise it in the air, he turned to the cast and crew “And that is a wrap a wrap on Timothee everybody!” 

 

“Amazing job man” Harry complimented, it seemed to take Timothee by surprise as well as Louis. “Really. You’ve got something special, it’s a gift” 

 

“Oh, Wow, Thanks Harry. That’s really nice of you” 

 

“Only telling you facts mate, you’re going places” 

 

Timothee smiled and grabbed Harry’s hand to shake it. He sighed as he looked around him at the others, he had the job now of thanking everyone one by one for their help, like every actor had to. 

 

He glanced back at Louis “At least I’ve got got some time off now before the wrap party” 

 

“Oh rub it in, why don’t you?” Louis rolled his eyes, shoving the younger actor into the group of people who had walked over to congratulate him. “Go on, buggar off” 

 

Louis sighed, it was a special moment. Although sad, he knew that saying goodbye to one actor meant the end was near. He was nearly done.

 

Harry’s arm flung around Louis’ shoulder and this time Louis didn’t even flinch, he just fell into Harry’s side. He could have stayed like that for a while, just content with everything. However, a minute later he remembered. He clocked eyes with Niall who was standing with their two friends by Louis’ office. “Oh shit” Louis said. 

 

He glanced up at Harry “Do you wanna come say hi?” 

 

Harry looked up into the direction of where the three of Louis’ friends stood, Louis watched as Harry’s eyes faltered as he took the two strangers in, he obviously didn’t know which was which and that was stressing him out. “I would fucking love to” Harry stated. 

 

“Be nice, okay? For me?” Louis pleaded, escaping from Harry’s arm as he took the lead. “Just be friendly, it was only last night I was telling them how much I like you” 

 

“Yeah? Should have said you loved me, then your ex wouldn’t be hanging about, would he?” Harry fired back. 

 

“Stop being petty” Louis glowered. 

 

“I’m not being petty. Stop worrying” Harry said, rolling his eyes as he raced up to catch up with Louis’ steps. 

 

Louis was dreading this. The closer they got to his friends the more the nerves arose, he didn’t know what he was expecting. To be nervous was silly, all of the boys were welcoming him with bright welcoming smiles.

 

“Did you forget we were here?” Niall beckoned. 

 

Louis laughed nervously, his head ducking as he approached them. “No, just busy is all” 

 

He lifted his head as he approached them, Zayn was first to step forward and pull him into a hug, clapping him on his back a few times “This is sick mate!” 

 

“Thanks” Louis said, smiling as he pulled away “This is where the magic happens and when I say magic I mean stress, hair pulling, constant anxiety and where all of my worries come to life” 

 

“Way to sell it” Aidan snorted from beside Zayn. 

 

“Oh? That doesn’t make you want to become an actor?” Louis asked, smiling up at him, teasing. 

 

Aidan hummed, scrunching his eyes together as he pretended to think about it “I’ll get back to you on that one, Tommo” 

 

“Top Shagger Tommo” Niall suddenly barked through a laugh, snotting over himself. “Remember that?” 

 

“Are you okay?” Louis asked, tilting his head with crossed arms, alongside the others. “We’re all aware of my old nickname mate, no need to choke over it” 

 

“Top shagger” Zayn snorted “you were fucking awful for the first couple of months. Surprised you weren’t riddled with STD’s if I’m honest” 

 

“Alright, probably not the best place to talk about my sexual endeavours is it?” Louis warned, his eyes pointing around at the people walking past them. 

 

“ _ Sexual endeavours _ ” Zayn mimicked “Who are you? And what the fuck have you done with my mate?” 

 

“Oh shut up” Louis laughed, shoving Zayn in the arm playfully. 

 

“He’s too high maintenance for us now” Aidan joined in, throwing an arm around Louis’ shoulder. 

 

“Don’t touch the goods. I’m worth more than you now” 

 

“Hopefully it’ll rub off on me then” Aidan said, throwing his other arm around Louis’ top half. He picked the smaller boy up and squeezed him, pretending to rub himself all over. And Louis was laughing, like something crazed, his head flung back and all. 

 

“Put me down” Louis wailed, squirming his way out of his grip and back to his feet. He pushed Aidan as soon as he managed to get his stance back. “Loser” 

 

“Styles, this is the quietest I’ve ever seen you” Niall stated, bringing Louis’ attention back onto Harry. 

 

He was stood there, no expression to his face, just watching the scene happen in front of him. Louis almost felt bad, like he should have involved him straight away, but he had never had to introduce Harry before, usually he would do that himself. 

 

“Not that I’m complaining” Niall continued “it’s nice to have a break from your whining voice” 

 

“Shame I can’t say the same for you Niall, has anyone ever told you that your voice is like a white noise constantly burning a hole in their eardrum? Because you give me a headache every time around you” Harry fired back, finally coming back to life. 

 

“Yeah well, surprised you can find your ears behind that Tarzan hair” 

 

“Is that supposed to be an insult?” Harry said, a genuine laugh escaping his lips. “C’mon, that was poor. Maybe the failed comedian thing won’t work out after all, turns out you’ll have to be a failed golfer for life” 

 

“One day your money, your looks and your career will go. And no one will care about Harry Styles anymore” 

 

“My money won’t just go, Niall” Harry furrowed his eyes, like he was genuinely concerned for Niall at this point. “I have made more money from this one movie than you have your entire career” 

 

“How much did they pay you?” Louis asked, suddenly invested. Interrupting their childish bickering. 

 

“I don’t know, I never ask. I have people who deal with that for me” Harry shrugged. 

 

“Do you have people who wipe your arse for you too?” Niall asked. 

 

“ _ Do you have people who wipe your arsed for you too _ ” Harry mimicked. “Idiot” 

 

“Idiot” Niall retaliated. 

 

“You’re an idiot!” Harry stated. 

 

“You’re annoying” 

 

“No, you are!” 

 

“No, you fucking are!” Niall stomped his foot. “I hope your hair falls out”

 

Harry faked a gasp, his hand flying up cover his mouth “I hope you hurt your knee again!” 

 

“Take that back!” 

 

“Fucking hell” Louis groaned, his head falling to his hands. He lifted it and looked at Zayn and Aidan “Do you see what I mean now?” 

 

“Are you two always like this?” Zayn asked, his eyes moving to Harry with that question. 

 

“He just loves arguing with me, always has something to say so I thought I’d make it fun. He’s easily wound up” Harry laughed “One day, all I did was tell him his label was sticking out of his T-Shirt and he went on an hour long rampage about how I was the devil” 

 

“Fucking hell” Zayn laughed with him. Once he stopped, he reached his hand towards Harry “I’m Zayn, by the way. Louis’ best friend from Uni” 

 

“Harry” Harry confirmed, shaking Zayn’s hand “I heard about your show. Louis came to my room once he got back and told me all about how amazing you are. You know, if you ever wanted to showcase your art in Italy. I have a guy who deals with events over there” 

 

Zayn’s eyes lit up and Louis bit back a smile as he watched the exchange, if Zayn liked him then that was good news for everyone. Zayn had always been good at judging people quite quickly, a good judge of character. 

 

“Wow. Yeah, that would be sick mate. I’ll definitely get back to you on that one” 

 

“For sure. If Louis says you’ve got talent then I believe him, he’s never been wrong before” Harry said, releasing his hand from Zayn's grip. He glanced at Louis with a soft smile. “Isn’t that right, big shot?” 

 

“I’ve taught you well” Louis nodded. 

 

“Ah, he was right. He’s won you over, hasn’t he? The  _ Louis Tomlinson effect  _ as he calls it” Zayn gushed. 

 

Harry’s eyes nearly bulge from his head as he nodded “He told you that as well?” He snorted as he turned to Louis “And you call me narcissistic!” 

 

“You are. It’s not my fault I light up everyone’s life, I was born this way” Louis said, pretending to flick his hair. 

 

“A loser?” Harry fired back. 

 

“Harry Styles, I am this close to banning you from ever talking to me again” 

 

“Banning me? Good luck with that, sunshine” Harry winked, he turned to Zayn “He couldn’t live without me” 

 

“I imagine not” Zayn agreed. 

 

“Right. This has been lovely” Louis said, clapping his hands together “Harry, you need to get in wardrobe and get ready for your next scene. Tell Caroline I want you in the red floral shirt, NOT the green one” 

 

“Why not the green one?” 

 

“Because it clashes with your eyes” Louis waved it off. He glanced to his three friends “I have to deal with something quick. So, Niall, do you mind showing the lads round for a bit? As soon as I’m finished, you can come and watch Harry’s scene if you like” 

 

“ _ All eyes on me _ ” Harry said, singing the line from the Tupac song in the most dreadful accent. 

 

“Why are you still here Harry?” Louis sighed, pinching the top of his nose. 

 

“Right, shit, sorry” Harry nodded frantically, he turned to Zayn, completely ignoring Aidan. “Nice to meet you!” 

 

“Yeah, you too! Pleasure” 

 

Harry nodded, he turned to Louis with a wink and then sauntered off in the direction of wardrobe. Louis was fucked, having the two of them here was going to be a nightmare. Harry might be playing nicely now but it never lasted too long.

 

“Tell you something,he’s not half as bad as everyone says” Zayn stated, leaning against the cabin wall of Louis’ portable office. “Nice guy, ain’t he?” 

 

“He’s the best” Louis nodded with agreement. 

 

“He’s a bellend, the sooner everyone realised that the better. I mean, come on, when we arrived he was laying on one of the directors chairs, legs kicked up on Louis with shades covering his eyes pretending he owned the place” Niall ranted. 

 

“No he wasn’t” Louis snorted, niall’s dislike for Harry was easily one of the most comical parts of the whole movie process. Hopefully they would have got it some of it on camera, it would make great bloopers. “He was just being Harry. He wasn’t doing anything wrong” 

 

“He’s got you wrapped around his little finger, Lou” 

 

“Piss off, Horan and go and see Tim. That’s his last scene done” Louis said, avoiding any conversation around it. 

 

Niall reluctantly walked off, leaving Louis with the two lads. He sighed, stretching out as he stood. It had been  a relatively easy morning so far and he had a strong feeling that it wasn’t going to last long. 

 

“Can’t believe it, Lou. You, being all incharge and bossy” Aidan said, admirably “It’s amazing” 

 

“Thank you” Louis spoke through a genuine smile “It’s not all fun and games, means everything’s on my head if it goes tits up” 

 

“It won’t” He quickly said “You’re too good for that to happen” 

 

“Don’t speak so soon” Louis warned, he turned to Zayn “are you two okay with Niall for a bit, yeah? I promise as soon as I’m done I’ll be all yours for a while. Niall knows everyone anyway, like I said, he’s not left me alone” 

 

Just as Louis said that, the three of them turned as they heard Niall’s loud voice began to chant Timothee’s name. Niall had lifted him up in his arms, spinning around as he encouraged everyone else to join in with him. It was like a football team at the end of a winning game when they all huddled together, not like the end shoot on a movie scene. 

 

Louis shook his head “He’s insane. Please, take him with you when you leave” 

 

“He wouldn’t leave, even if we tried. You’re stuck with him forever. Right, go on, piss off and do what you need to do and come and meet us after” Zayn insisted, attempting to usher Louis away. 

 

“Thank you” 

 

The two lads walked off allowing Niall to introduce them to a load of people they would never see again. And Louis excused himself into his office, the first spare moment he had to himself for a very long time. It was rare that he could have any alone time at the moment, considering Niall was stuck to him like glue and whenever he wasn’t he had Harry to entertain. 

 

He sat in his chair with a content sigh, an actual wave of relief washing over his body at the silence. He pulled his phone from his pocket, tracing his finger along the names in his contact list. He peered out of his window to make sure no one was around and once he was sure, he pressed call. He wanted to have this phone call alone, without the distraction from any of his friends. 

 

“Hello?” The voice echoed through the phone. Louis closed his eyes at the sound, taking in the comfort. “Lou, are you there?” 

 

“Yeah” he breathed out. “Hi mum” 

 

“You don't usually call until Monday, is everything okay sweetheart?” 

 

“Yeah, it’s fine. I just missed you, that’s all” 

 

“That’s sweet, babe. I miss you too. We all do” 

 

“How are the girls?” He asked, eyes open as he blankly stared out at the white wall ahead him. 

 

“Great. Lottie’s away this weekend with her boyfriend, the twins are busy playing upstairs together and Fiz is at a friends. It’s very chilled, if I’m honest. We’re all great” 

 

“I miss them” Louis admitted. “I feel like I haven’t spent enough time with them this year” 

 

“They know you can’t help it babe. You’re busy and that’s okay. You’ll be home for Christmas though, won’t you? That’ll make up for it” 

 

“Yeah, I’ll definitely try” Louis promised and he meant it. 

 

“Aren’t you at work?” His mum eventually asked. 

 

“Yeah, I’m in my office now. It’s been hectic, you know? First time I’ve had a moment to myself in weeks” 

 

“Oh?” His mother said, Louis heard as she dropped something on the other side of the phone. “By hectic, you mean?” 

 

“I mean, it’s been the craziest few months of my life. I’m exhausted. Mentally and physically and it seems like every day something else is just forcing itself through to add to the mix of never ending problems” Louis babbled, it’s all escaping at once. “Life’s never simple. Is it? And on top of that, I’m dealing with everyone being here as well as running a movie and my heads everywhere! Do you know what I mean?” 

 

His mum was quiet for a second, a slight pause before she said “You’re having a mid life crisis far too early Louis. I have no bloody idea what you’re on about” 

 

“There’s so much. Last not for instance, Niall and I went to an art show last night. Zayn’s art show, which is great like he’s doing sick. But Aidan was there too” 

 

“Did you freak out?” His mum asked, looking for gossip rather than giving support. 

 

“I actually didn’t. Me and Niall, we kinda went crazy… You know what? You can read that in the papers, that’s for another day. Anyway, it was fine, it felt like we were back at Uni. But then Aidan had to go and ruin it!” 

 

“How did he do that?” His mum laughed. 

 

“He asked me out on a date, I mean, four bloody years I don’t see him. And then he preaches a lot of bollocks about fate, the universe and he knows I love that stuff” 

 

“What’s so wrong with that? He obviously thinks a lot of you Lou. It was always so sad, how the two of you ended things” 

 

“Because, we’re not the same people anymore Mum. There’s too much history between us” 

 

“But you’re over all that, aren’t you? It was a long time ago, although it seems as though it really isn’t. You can’t spend your life holding a grudge Louis. After all, I recall a time when you would ring me and tell me how you were certain you were going to marry him” 

 

Louis hummed, falling into a short exhale of breath. His head was all over the place. “That was a long time ago Mum. What if I do go on this date with him, hey? Then what? Suddenly we’re on our tenth date, we’re talking about the future, buying houses and  _ buying a dog _ and stuff and then I’m stuck!” 

 

“ _ Houses and dogs _ ?” His mum laughed “Oh, Louis. Just because you go on  _ one _ bloody date with the guy it doesn’t automatically mean you have to marry him and spend the rest of your life with him” 

 

“Even when you think they might be your only chance of having a stable relationship?” Louis reluctantly asked. 

 

His mind was on Harry. Just Harry. It was hard for it to trail anywhere else, the boy had stolen his heart and had absolutely ruined any chance he had for loving anyone else. 

 

“Even so. Why would you continue to date someone when your heart isn’t in it? Who’s going to be happy? You certainly won’t and neither will he. You don’t date someone because it’s convenient Lou, you do it because you can’t see yourself with anyone else” 

 

“But, what if the one person you see yourself with can’t do that for you? You know, can’t be the person you want them to be. Then what? Because, at this moment in time I can’t see any other option than to see what other options there are for me to find, whether that makes me happy or not” 

 

“Louis” His mother sighed, he head her place something down. Most likely her cup of tea. “Is that really what you want though?” 

 

“What?” Louis asked. 

 

“Look for other options? Do you really want to waste time trying to find someone when you know you’ve got the person you  _ need _ right in front of you?” 

 

“I haven’t got a choice mum” Louis whispered and he believed that. He had told himself so many times that he  _ had to do this _ , that there was no where else for him to turn. “I can’t wait around forever for the moment he decides he’s ready. What does that do for me? Nothing, I’ll spend an eternity waiting for the person I love to love me back” 

 

“Ah, so it’s love” His mum said, in a eureka kind of moment, like she hit the jackpot. “What happened to the little boy I had, hey? The one who told me that if you love someone to the point they’re all you think about them you go for it and don’t look back?” 

 

“How was I when I said that?” Louis frowned, starting to wonder what sort of child he really was to be spouting that shit at a young age. 

 

“You were eight. I still remember you telling me. And I believed you, I listened to my eight year old little boy and have stuck by that every day since. So if I can, why can’t you?” 

 

“Because, my life isn’t that simple and neither is his. No matter what I do, it’s not going to change things. I can’t force someone to love me mum” 

 

“I don’t think you’d be forcing him at all, Lou. The way he looks at you is like the world shines from your eyes” 

 

Louis hummed “Yeah, well, he’s going to have to do a little more than look at me to convince me otherwise” 

 

“He’s a difficult boy, he’s in a tricky situation Lou. He hasn’t felt this way before, I don’t think he’s ever had the chance to become so close to someone like he has you and it’s all so new for him. I think you need to give him time” 

 

“And how long will that take? Years? I don’t have time to sit around waiting for the day Harry Styles loves me back” Louis sat back in his seat, it was at the moment he was certain. No more worrying over it, he needed to figure this out  _ now _ . “He’s in a world where his life is laid out in front of him and he just does as he’s told. I’m not a part of that agenda and I never will be. Eventually, he’ll forget me, he’ll move onto his next beard and I’ll be sat at home wondering why I was never good enough. If I don’t move on now, I never will” 

 

“You sound like you’re convincing yourself more than me, babe. Look, all I want is for you to be happy, whether that be with Harry, Aidan, some random bloke or by yourself. As long as you’re happy, I’m happy. And right now, you’re not. You need to take some time to really figure this out” 

 

“I know” Louis nodded. 

 

“I’m going to meet the girls for afternoon tea, but, if you ever need to talk again, you just call me okay? I’m always here for you babe,  _ always _ ” 

 

“I love you” 

 

“I love you too. Everything will work out, no matter who you end up with. Whether you want to believe it or not, life really is like a story book, your  _ Prince Charming  _ is coming, he’ll come and surprise you one day and it’ll all finally make sense. But for now, you just concentrate on you Lou. Do what’s best for you” 

  
  


**** 

 

Louis was pacing back and forth in his office, his phone to his ear as he engrossed himself in the torturous conversation with the production team. He was ready to fling his phone out of the window, walk off set and never look back. 

 

He gazed out of the window as the crew began to get into place for the next scene, they had literally just swapped the set to the other side of the path so it looked like a completely different setting. 

 

“Louis, are you listening to me?” 

 

Louis groaned, he grabbed his jacket and flung it over his shoulder as he head for his door “Yes, I fucking am. And what you’re telling me isn’t good enough!” 

 

“We don’t work miracles mate, things take time” 

 

Louis was so close to walking in the other direction as he made his way to set “Yeah, well too fucking bad mate. You need to do exactly that. If you do not have the final piece ready by the end of next month then it won’t just be my bloody head on the line, it’ll be yours! I’ll personally make sure of it” 

 

“You’re being ridiculous” His production manager, Ash spoke in his ear. Louis was approaching his friends, even Harry was sat beside Zayn on the grass talking away about whatever. Whilst Niall and Aidan were sat behind them alongside one of the actors. 

 

“You’re being fucking ridiculous. Look, we’re paying you to do a job, yeah? And what is that job?” 

 

“Production” he sighed through the phone. 

 

“Exactly!” Louis shouted, gaining the attention of the people around him. “So, instead of calling me telling me a load of shit I don’t want to hear. Why don’t you do your fucking job and make sure it’s done when I ask for it to be done?” 

 

“Because it’s not possible Louis!” 

 

“I can personally assure you that if it is not finished by the deadline I have given you then I will ensure your career is over, okay?” Louis spat, his anger taking over him. He didn’t have time for problems. He ignored Harry’s frown as he glanced to look at Louis. “You won’t work in film, ever again. Are you listening?” 

 

“You know, you’ve turned into a bitch since starting this” 

 

“One more fucking word Ash,  _ one more _ and I’ll have you sent packing to the U.K. and I’ll bring in someone else who will make my life fucking easier” Louis warned, he stood beside his friends as he awaited an answer back. There was a pause in the conversation. 

 

“It’ll be finished on time” 

 

“That’s what I thought. Have a fucking fantastic day!” He ended the call, he actually threw his phone into the distance in the grass. He was ready to throw himself at it as well at this point. 

 

He watched as his assistant quickly jumped to her feet, she ran past him and into the field to retrieve his phone. Louis watched wide eyed as she grabbed it and ran back over with it, hand stretched out as she gave it back. 

 

“I was having a tantrum” Louis stated, taking the phone. 

 

“I know” She shrugged “But, you’d regret it if you forgot about it later” she walked off back to her little set up behind the cameras. 

 

Louis sighed, he shoved his phone back into his pocket and was met with the eagle eyes of his friends. All four of them were staring up at him, almost waiting for him to explain. He frowned “What?” 

 

“Nothing” Niall said, shaking his head “I mean, it’s not like you just caused a massive scene in front of everyone by screaming down your phone and threatening people's careers or nothing” 

 

“Fuck off” Louis snapped, he was not in the mood for Niall’s jokes. Not now. 

 

“You were in a great mood literally an hour ago, what the fuck happened?” Harry asked. 

 

“People are annoying. That’s what. Is everyone who works in movies an absolute atsehole?” 

 

“Yes, you included” Harry snorted. 

 

“If one more thing, I mean it, one more bad thing happens today then I’m leaving” Louis sighed, dropping beside Harry, Aidan sat right behind. 

 

“Turn your phone off” Harry stated. And Louis frowned, questioning. “Turn it off for the rest of the day. You just do what you do best and ignore all the problems until another day, okay?” 

 

“I don’t…” 

 

“I’m not asking, Louis. Turn it off. You’re going to stress yourself out again and it’s not worth it, you can’t be risking your mental health over a bunch of idiots” 

 

Who was Louis to fight that? He passed his phone from his pocket to Harry, who turned it off for him and placed it back in his pocket rather than giving it back to Louis. 

 

“I’m so excited for this to be over” Louis sighed, he lifted his legs up so his arms could lean on his knees. 

 

“It’ll be okay, Lou” Aidan spoke, his hands reached out and grasped Louis’ shoulders. Massaging into the skin, Louis fell back into it with a hum. “Not much longer” 

 

“Can’t wait” Louis sighed into the touch. 

 

“When’s my scene?” Harry asked and Louis averted his gaze, Harry’s face was something else. He was talking to Louis but his eyes were staring at Aidan’s as they rubbed into his shoulders. 

 

“We’ll start as soon as the crew gives us the go ahead” And as Louis spoke, a little moan escaped from Aidan’s bush hands on his shoulders. It was an accident. 

 

“You need to go to a professional” Aidan said, tapping Louis shoulders “You’ve got knots all over” 

 

“I’m tense, what can I say?” Louis replied, drawing his eyes from Harry’s to avoid the wrath. 

 

“What time do you finish tonight?” Aidan asked and Louis peered over his shoulder at him and shrugged. 

 

“It’s a late one isn’t it Lou?” Harry butted in, trying to obtain Louis’ attention. 

 

Louis kept his eyes on Aidan “Maybe like seven. Depending on the next couple of scenes. Why?”

 

“Well, Niall and Zayn are heading out to show Gig, some rapper. Maybe we could do something?” 

 

Louis smiled, the look in Aidan’s eyes was promising. He could feel Harry’s eyes on him, burning into his head. 

 

“I guess, yeah, that’s fine. Not a late one though, it’s a busy couple of days coming up. What do you have in mind?” 

 

“We could go for dinner? Or go sightseeing? I’ve never seen much of Paris before, I’d like to see the sights at night, they’re supposed to be beautiful” As Aidan spoke, Louis thought back to his and Harry’s evening together. He knew Harry was awaiting his answer too. 

 

“Oh… I kinda was hoping to stay in the hotel tonight, you know, because of all the drama we caused at Zayn’s show it’s probably best I keep a low profile for a bit. How about we have dinner in my hotel?” Louis suggested, trying to avoid the situation. 

 

“Yeah, sounds good to me” 

 

“Great” Louis nodded with a smile. He turned his head back round to face out at the field in front of him. He attempted to glance at Harry, sitting beside him. He looked stiff as anything, his eyes focused ahead of him. “you okay, H?” 

 

Harry took a deep breath, like he was pulling himself from a deep thought. He turned to look at Louis and nodded “Yeah, Fine” 

 

“Well, it’s been lovely” Zayn suddenly said, bringing everyone’s attention onto him. “But, I have to meet with a buyer in an hour” 

 

“You’re going?” Louis pouted. 

 

“Don’t worry. I’m not leaving Paris” Zayn chuckled, using his hands to stand up. “Some of the guys were saying that you might be finishing early on filming, so you’ll have a few days free, right? We’ve got time” 

 

“Yeah, as long as nothing else goes wrong” 

 

“It won’t” Zayn reassured, he glanced behind Louis to Aidan “You ready mate?” 

 

Aidan nodded and stood to his feet, dusting himself off from the grass that had stuck to his jeans. “I’ll see you later Lou, I can’t wait” 

 

“Yeah. See you later” Louis nodded. 

 

“We’ll meet up tomorrow then, Styles?” Zayn asked, causing Louis to frown with confusion. 

 

“Yeah, I’m off for a few hours in the afternoon” 

 

“What’s going on here?” Louis asked, gesturing between the pair of them “Making plans without me? How dare you” 

 

“You weren’t here” Harry laughed “Anyway, you’re working. We’re going to meet up with a potential buyer, Zayn sent over a few pictures of his work and he wants to meet him tomorrow” 

 

“I’ve been gone an hour and this has happened?” 

 

“Yes, Louis” Zayn nodded “Mad, innit?” 

 

“So, now me and Zayn are best friends and we’ve decided to cut you from the group” Harry teased. 

 

“What group? We’re not some reject boyband” 

 

Zayn gasped “How dare you! Reject? We’re talented, we’re going places” 

 

“Jesus” Louis shook his head. 

 

“You’re just jealous” Harry stated, throwing an arm over Louis’ shoulder “Don’t worry, you’re still my favourite” 

 

“I should hope so” 

 

The remainder of the day seemed to go quite well, Harry worked to perfection, hitting every scene with all he had. They raced through everything without any second takes needed and were finished by five which was a delight for everyone. They couldn’t possibly film anything else, they didn’t have access for the next location until the next day. 

 

He and Harry left just after five, Louis decided he too needed to finish early. They were so close to finishing that a few hours off didn’t seem impossible. Niall had left them earlier on in the day, running off to find Zayn for their evening of activities watching some rapper. 

 

Louis had his head in his book laying across the sofa in his room while Harry took up the space on Louis’ bed invested in the episode Black Mirror. Louis was completely involved within the characters in his book. It had been so long since he had read a book, one that he really got into as well. He had been laying down for an hour and had already covered three chapters of it, he had heard about it from Twitter. The people he followed had tweeted him relentlessly, day upon day until he gave in and ordered it. If he knew it was going to be this good he would have started sooner. 

 

“What is that you’re reading?” 

 

Louis finished the sentence he was reading and glanced over to Harry, using his hand to hold the page “Soft Hands, Fast Feet, Can’t Lose” 

 

“Never heard of it” Harry said, shoving crisps into his mouth. 

 

“You wouldn’t have it. It was written by a fan of two famous guys, the names have changed for the publication though so I’m not sure who it is” 

 

“What’s the book about?” Harry said, crumbs falling from his lips as he spoke. It was getting ridiculous, even now, crumbs on his shirt and some in his hair, he still looked insanely gorgeous laying on Louis’ bed. 

 

“College guys, ones a dick, the others not. Starts as a bet but the dick ends up falling in love with the soft one, it’s cute, I like it. I could see a movie made from it” 

 

“There’s a lot of LGBT based books out, ain’t there?” Harry said, pausing the show. He looked at Louis “I remember when people wouldn’t even dare bring out a LGBT coming of age movie and now they’re all the hype” 

 

“As they should be” Louis stated, placing a bookmark in his page. “It’s about time that ignorant people started recognising that even  _ we _ are living perfectly normal lives with normal relationships. And  _ we _ should be able to watch movies without the cliche heteronormative couples with the same boring storylines” 

 

“I’m not disagreeing” Harry said, leaning his head against the palm of his hand “It’s great. I mean, my management never would have let me do something like the movie we’re making, but, because of all the success from other of the same kind, they thought it was a good idea for my name” 

 

“What? Being gay in a movie?” Louis snorted. 

 

“Yeah, widens the audience” 

 

Louis’ eyebrows furrowed “Are you serious?” 

 

“What?” 

 

“So, they want to expand your audience by placing you into an LGBT movie?  _ But _ , they don’t want you to come out with your own sexuality because it’ll damage your rep? Do you realise how fucking stupid that sounds?” 

 

“I mean, when you put it like that, then yeah” 

 

Louis shook his head, he’ll never understand Harry’s life or the way it worked. He was glad to be on the other side of the cameras, his social life only on show when with the right people. He would hate to be in the same place as Harry. But yet, Harry found it so normal, like it was second nature and that’s what was worrying. 

 

“You should speak to your lawyers, that contract you signed doesn’t seem quite legit” Louis scoffed, opening his book again. 

 

“They know what they’re doing” Harry shrugged, reaching for the remote. 

 

“Yeah, I wouldn’t be so sure”

 

Louis had only read two sentences of the page he was on when Harry spoke again “Are you going tonight?” He asked, the remote still in his hand having not bothering to press play yet. 

 

“What?” Louis hummed, finishing the paragraph he was on.

 

“With Aidan. He asked you for dinner, are you going?” 

 

Louis paused, he turned his head over his shoulder to look at Harry. He was staring at him, like he was pleading with him through his eyes for the answer he was hoping for but Louis wasn’t exactly sure what the right answer was right now. 

 

“Well…” Louis said, he shuffled his body until he could sit up right on the sofa. He placed his book open on top of his lap “Would it be a problem if I did?” 

 

Harry shrugged “Only if you’re doing it for the wrong reasons, I guess” 

 

“Is there a wrong reason to go on a date then?” Louis challenged. He pulled the sleeves on his jumper to cover his hands. 

 

“Depends. If you still like him, then there’s no problem. But, if you are doing it because of me then, then I don’t think you should go” Harry stated, matter-of-factly. 

 

“Why would I do it because of you?” Louis asked. 

 

“You know why, we both do. But, just because I can’t be who you want me to be doesn’t mean you should run off and date whoever you find first Louis. Just saying” 

 

“I’m not” Louis defended, his voice barely a whisper as he spoke. He averted his eyes to his book, not wanting to look at Harry any longer. “I just want to try” 

 

“Because you like him?” 

 

“No, because it’s worth giving it ago. Isn’t it? There’s no harm in me testing the waters to try and find something real for myself” Louis admitted, playing with the pages on his book. 

 

“I don’t think I like him very much” Harry stated. 

 

“You didn’t even speak to him, H. Like not even once” 

 

“I didn’t need to” He shrugged, not bothered “It takes ten seconds to form an opinion on someone, all I had to do was look at him and knew he wasn’t  _ right _ for you” 

 

“You know what’s right for me then, do you?” 

 

“I know that you’re settling” Harry insisted “I think you know that as well. You deserve more than to settle” 

 

Louis shook his head “I deserve whatever I think is best for me Harry. And that’s that. Right now, I don’t know what that is, okay? He’s asked me out, I’m going to have dinner with him and if I enjoy myself, I’ll go out with him again. I don’t know where it’s going Harry, we’ll just have let me try, yeah?” 

 

“Whatever” Harry said, dropping his head back onto the pillow “well, I’m going out tonight” 

 

“You are?” Louis head snapped as he turned to look at Harry. “Who with?” 

 

“I’m meeting Zayn and Niall after their concert” 

 

“Niall? You don’t even like Niall!” 

 

“Yeah, well, he’s alright. I only do it to wind him up” Harry defended “What do you care? You’ve got your  _ date _ ” 

 

“I don’t. Just didn’t know, that’s all” Louis quickly defended. “Well, I’m sure you’ll have fun” 

 

“I will” 

 

Harry’s problem was that he was petty. If he didn’t like something he would go cold, use the defence mechanism he had to conjure up a way to fire back ten times as hard. Except, Louis wasn’t going to let himself be blinded by it. He was going to go on this date whether Harry liked it or not. 

 

“Come and cuddle me” 

 

But first, he was going to get into bed with Harry Styles, cuddle and watch black mirror like the platonic friends they were. 

 


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here it is the smut everyone asked for. But also breaks your heart at the same time. 
> 
> Arctic Monkeys - Mardy Bum.   
> Louis Tomlinson - I miss you.   
> One Direction - Never Enough.   
> Dua Lipa - New Rules   
> Sigma - Nobody to Love.   
> Mark Ronson ft Miley cyrus - nothing breaks like a heart. THIS !!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is. Sorry it’s later than I said! 
> 
> Pre-Warning. There’s smut. For all you horny bastards who keep asking for it. 
> 
> Let me know what you think in the comments!
> 
> Also. There’s approximately 5 chapters left.

Harry eventually left his room about an hour after Louis had lay down to watch the episode with him, he had to get back to his own room to get ready to meet the lads.

 

Louis was grateful, it gave him half an hour to get dressed into whatever he could find and get downstairs to meet Aidan in the Lobby of his hotel. Having agreed to meet at nine. A late dinner, for sure.

 

Even when he was on his way down the words Harry said as he left his room stuck with him. “ _Don’t do anything you’ll regret, yeah?_ ” He couldn’t figure out what he meant by it. Whether he meant regret by agreeing to a second date, the idea of Louis taking him back to his room or whatever else he could possibly think of.

 

But he didn’t have time to worry about Harry Styles tonight, he had to concentrate on himself.

 

He walked out of the elevator, gazing at himself in the full length mirror that hung on the wall opposite. He probably wasn’t the best dressed for a date, he had thrown on his skinny jeans to which at this point he had worn out completely, they were less black and more grey. And the rips definitely weren’t in them when he bought them. He also shoved on any T-Shirt he could find, he wasn’t intending on leaving his hotel so it wasn’t like he needed a jacket so he couldn’t exactly dress up his plain outfit with a bright jacket.

 

But he didn’t see much point in making an effort, this was someone who had seen Louis in every state possible, drunk, tired, sick, everything. So his attire wasn’t going to be an issue.

 

He stepped out into the grand lobby, he shoved his hands in his pockets as he waited. He waved as some of the crew greeted him on their way out, taking advantage of the little time off that they had.

 

It was five minutes later that Louis saw Aidan walk into the entrance, he was all smiles and giddy. Practically bouncing on the palms of his feet as he made his way over. He looked the same as he did when they were younger. The only difference in clothes between them was that he had made an effort to put a shirt on, even so, it was a plain red colour.

 

“Hey!” Louis greets, waving.

 

“Hey, you!” Aidan says, a smile reaching his eyes. He approaches Louis and attempts a hug and Louis is as awkward as can be, not sure which way to put his arms and it takes them a good few seconds of awkwardness before they finally hug. “You look great Lou”

 

“I look the same as I always do” Louis snorted.

 

“You always look great”

 

“Right” Louis says, he lingers his gaze at Aidan and then behind him “Shall we eat then?”

 

“Sure!”

 

Louis nods for him to follow, they walk quietly side by side one another through the hotel. Louis isn’t quite sure why he feels so awkward, this is someone he used to be so comfortable with. It wasn’t nerves, he didn’t have that funny feeling in his stomach, he felt… Normal.

 

“It’s Italian” Louis said as he held the door open for Aidan “Your favourite, right?”

 

“You remembered” Aidan admired, stepping through the door with a nod. “It’s quiet in here”

 

Louis stepped in the door and nodded, it was quiet, too quiet. The sound of a piano swiftly playing and a few smooth conversations but that was it, there was only around eight tables actually taken. The rest was empty. Which was just great.

 

“Hey!” Louis said, greeting the server. He was the same guy who had showed him to his room when he arrived in Paris.

 

“Louis! Bonjour!” The man greeted, extending a hand for Louis to shake. “Joining us this evening, oui?”

 

“Yeah, you got a table for two?”

 

“Oh, you’re not eating with Mr Styles?” He asked and Louis blushed, he shook his head quickly.

 

“No, I’m here with my friend this evening” He said, stepping to the side so he could show him Aidan. “He’s visiting”

 

“Ah! Lovely. We have a table by the window, beautiful view for two beautiful people” He said, grabbing two menus from the stand “Please, follow me”

 

“After you” Louis said to Aidan, he stayed back as they followed the server through the restaurant. He took a deep breath, he was doing this and he needed to give it his all even if he wasn’t sure how to do that.

 

He glanced at the table they were guided to, a single candle lit in the middle, leaning against the wall with the largest window. It showed the back streets of Paris, small shops still open, the only lights coming from the street lights. It was pretty lovely.

 

He sat on the chair closest to him, shuffling his chair into the table. He gazed up at Aidan and smiled as their server placed the menus in front of them.

 

“A bottle of wine again, Sir?” The server asked Louis directly.

 

“Oh… Do you want one?” Louis asked Aidan.

 

“Sure” He shrugged. “Red?”

 

Louis nodded. He forgot who he was with for a moment. “Can we have a bottle of house red wine please?”

 

“Of course, sir” The server nodded with a soft smile.

 

Louis thanked him and gazed down at his menu, he was lucky it was the English version. If it had been French then he would have had his phone out translating every word.

 

“I’m glad you agreed to come tonight” Aidan announced, not bothering with his menu at all. His eyes focused on Lou. “Zayn couldn’t believe you even agreed last night”

 

“That’s because he remembers how stubborn I was”

 

“Yeah, you definitely were” Aidan said.

 

Louis smiled, his eyes averting to his menu. He needed to actually put some effort into this and he couldn’t do that until he at least had a glass of wine in his hand.

 

Louis eventually felt at ease, of course that was after two glasses of wine and shoving his starter of bruschetta down his gob as quick as he could because he was starving. It was the _least_ attractive thing he had ever done.

 

They had finished their main courses, Louis was moderately enjoying himself. The entire date had consisted of reminiscing on memories from Uni, laughing over the countless memories they had together. From waking up together on a field after a night out, locking Niall to a dildo for an entire day with handcuffs, to their movie dates, when they would put a big sheet up outside on the wall of their dorm and would project old movies on it. Louis admired it really, how carefree they once were.

 

“I’ll never forget that time you told Zayn that the guy who played the Hobbit had died as an April fools joke, he cried for hours. You just kept it going”

 

Louis barked a laugh “Yeah, now I think about it, that was pretty sadistic of me weren’t it? It’s his own fault! Nobody is that obsessed with a fictional world! He was wearing hobbit feet slippers for months, I mean, he deserved it really” he sipped his wine.

 

“Your pranks were evil” Aidan dissolved into laughter, the memories hitting him. “Surprised you had any friends”

 

“I never pranked you!” Louis voiced.

 

“No, I mean, there was the time I came back to our dorm and you had covered our entire room in cake. Literally, you put cake everywhere. I’m still not sure why”

 

“It was our anniversary. We _needed_ cake”

 

“Most of it went in the bin” Aidan accused.

 

“Not all of it” Louis said, winking behind his glass.

 

He could remember that day so well. He didn’t want to do the same as everyone else, flowers and cards and some tacky date somewhere. He wanted to do it the Louis Tomlinson way. It just so happened that the Louis way meant buying hundreds of birthday cakes and placing them absolutely everywhere in their bedroom and a sign that hung over the bed with ‘ _Well Done’_ ’ he had wrote underneath it ‘ _I don’t hate you_ ’. Aidan’s face when he walked in was one of the funniest things Louis had ever seen, he looked genuinely mortified. Louis on the other hand was in stitches, standing on the only spot in the room he could without standing in the cake.

 

It was only inevitable that the only way to celebrate was to have sex, but it just so happened they had no room to do so, so they just ended up having sex on a bed smothered in cake. It was the weirdest experience of Louis life but one of the funniest by far. They were smothered in icing by the end of it. Aidan had said ‘ _This isn’t normal, is it_?’and he was right. It wasn’t normal.

 

“That was still one of the weirdest days of my life. Remember when Zayn walked in? He literally just shook his head and walked out again”

 

Louis smiled at the memory “We really had fun, didn’t we?”

 

“Yeah, we really did” Aidan agreed, he leant against the table with both arms. “I miss it. How easy it all was”

 

“Yeah, me too. It was simpler back then” Louis sighed, glancing out of the window at the busy street. “If only if still was as simple as then”

 

“You’re working yourself too much Lou. I can see that and I’ve only seen you work for about an hour, so that says a lot” Aidan announced, pulling Louis’ attention. “Do you ever think about taking a break?”

 

Louis shook his head quick enough “No, I can’t. You can’t take breaks in this industry, you need to be on the go constantly”

 

“Do you have anything lined up for after this?”

 

Louis mused for a moment, he had received a few emails from potential work coming up in the new year but he had been far too distracted to actually read them properly.

 

“Not yet. There’s a few on the table though”

 

“So, you won’t be home for very long?” Aidan asked.

 

“I don’t know. Why?”

 

“Well, I mean, I’m based in London. I was kinda hoping that you’d agree to see me again when we’re both home” He blurted and Louis cocked a brow at the declaration.

 

The wine was flowing through him at this point so any rational judgement was way out of the window “Bit optimistic don’t you think? We haven’t even finished the first date”

 

“Is that you turning me down?” Aidan challenged.

 

“No, it’s not” Louis shook his head. “I may be able to squeeze you in at some point”

 

“That’s good to know” Aidan said behind a smile.

 

He and Louis finished their wine, paid for their meal and decided that the best way to end this date was to head to the hotel bar and drink. As worrying as it was, the amount of alcohol Louis had consumed whilst working on this movie, it was far too easy to drink numerous amounts of wine until he was passed out in bed.

 

So, it was only right that they ordered another bottle of wine to share when they arrived at the bar near the lobby. They sat on the sofa, the layout was strange, the bar was open on one end of the lobby with a few sofas spread out one side for seating and standard pub chairs and tables on the other. It wasn’t a hard choice to make where to sit.

 

Louis sat on the end of a two seater sofa while Aidan sat in the one seated chair beside him, the table in front of them both. The wine was in a bucket of ice, chilling. Louis had already told the guy behind the bar to bring another out in half an hour and to charge it to the production team. Three bottles of wine on a work night, the best way to spend his time.

 

“You and Styles are good friends, aren’t you?”

 

Louis looked up over his glass and gulped “Yeah” he choked out, not expecting that turn in conversation.

 

“Don’t think he likes me much” Aidan scoffed, the wine clearly affecting him now, as his honestly showed.

 

“Why do you think that?” Louis asked, knowingly.

 

Aidan gave Louis a look, a look that said _are you serious_. “The way he looked at me today, I thought he could have easily killed me. I didn’t even say anything, he didn’t acknowledge me once. I tried to talk to him but he ignored me and kept speaking to Zayn”

 

Louis rolled his eyes, he was ready to slap some sense into Harry. “Ignore him, _really_. He acts like a child sometimes, not good at sharing me I suppose”

 

“Shared you well enough with Zayn and Niall though, didn’t he? Are you sure he’s not jealous?”

 

“Jealous?” Louis chokes out, he covered it with a false laugh. “Yeah right. He’s as straight as they come”

 

“You think? I don’t know I thought he had a gay vibe”

 

“Why do people keep saying that?” Louis mumbled, he was having dejavu like he had with the house and dog comment. It’s like everyone was on the same wavelength at the moment. “He’s not gay. I should know, i'm with him all the time” which wasn’t a lie.

 

Aidan hummed, louis knew he wasn’t buying it. “I wouldn’t be so sure. The way he looks at you, it’s enough to say he isn’t”

 

“He’s just one of those guys who looks at people like the sun shines their arse” He said, quoting his mum. “I wouldn’t take much notice Aidan, really”

 

“If you say so” He shrugged “I’d be careful anyway, friends like that, they’re not good for you. You’re too nice and by the sounds of it, he’s a bit of a loose wire. He could jeopardise your entire career”

 

“Why do people always see the bad in him and assume he’s going to walk all over me?” Louis challenged, bored of people telling him the exact same thing. “Harry’s my friend. He’s amazing, one of the nicest guys I know, despite how others may perceive him. He’s not going to do anything to jeopardise my career, I promise you”

 

“Woah, I didn’t mean to offend. Didn’t realise it was a touchy subject” Aidan backed off.

 

“I didn’t…” Louis paused, he placed his wine glass down with a sigh “Sorry. I just keep having this conversation, especially with Niall and I just kinda want to leave mine and Harry’s friendship between us without everyone leaving their two pence in, you know?”

 

“That’s fine. I’m sorry” Aidan was quick to apologise. “I wouldn’t want to insult your friend. I’m sure I’ll grow to like him considering how much you do”

 

“I’m sure you will” Louis nodded, although the way Aidan said it implied that he would be around him long enough to do exactly that. But, even if he was enjoying himself now it didn’t speak for the next time.

 

Louis was about to say something, ask Aidan to settle down a little bit as he parted his lips he heard the familiar voices shout from the entrance of the Lobby and he sighed, dropping his head into his hands “Fuck sake. Not now”

 

“Tommo, Tommo, Tommo!” Niall chanted, his voice slurred from the alcohol he had obviously consumed.

 

Louis lifted his head from his hands. Niall, Zayn and Harry were walking towards them, well Niall and Harry were walking, Niall had somehow managed to find his way onto Harry’s back. Niall had his arms up in the air, cheering Louis’ name as they approached.

 

“Looks like we’ve got company” Louis told Aidan and smiled an apology.

 

“It’s okay. I’ve had a nice time anyway”

 

“Oi, oi dickheads!” Niall greeted, jumping from Harry’s back. “We’ve had a sick night! Harry managed to get us into some bar that only accepts certain people, it was insane man, I’ve never drank so much Tequila in my life”

 

“He threw up after his second” Zayn said, jumping into the second single seated chair opposite Aidan’s across the table. He threw his legs over the arm “And then, he took his top off, climbed over the bar to steal a bottle and tried to get people to do body shots off him. We were asked to leave”

 

“You’re a fucking nightmare” Louis declared, a short laugh escaping his mouth as he glanced at his best friend who was smiling lazily.

 

“He’s a liability, that’s what he is” Harry snorted.

 

Louis looked up just as Harry was rounding the table, he knew which seat Harry was aiming for and found himself panic a little. He didn’t want Aidan to have anymore reason to believe Harry had the _gay vibe_ everyone seemed to think. But he didn’t have much choice.

 

Harry dropped into the empty seat beside Louis with a sigh, he kicked his legs up onto the table and turned to face Louis giving him a wide grin. “Hey buttercup. Is that for me?” He asked, reaching for the glass in Louis’ hand. “Thank you”

 

“Idiot” Louis said “I’m so glad you all invited yourself over here. I’m sure this isn’t what you were actually coming here for?”

 

Zayn shook his head “We were hoping you were still at dinner, we were going to gatecrash it”

 

“How lovely” Louis mused. “And now?”

 

“We’re gatecrashing your little wine party” Niall said, he turned his head into the direction of the bar and reached his hand up. He waved until the guy behind the bar caught eyes of him “Oi mate, fancy bringing over a tray of shots and a few beers?”

 

The man behind the bar nodded, if it was Louis he would have told Niall to fuck off. He was insanely rude when he had a drink in his system.

 

“I’m just gonna pop to the bathroom” Aidan said, placing his glass down. Louis smiled, nodding his head. Aidan reached over and tapped Louis knee before he stood up to excuse himself.

 

Niall, being the child he was, attempted to block his way but all Aidan had to do was pick him up and move him. It was quite a conical scene to watch.

 

“So” Zayn said the moment Aidan was out of earshot. “How was it?”

 

“Alright” Louis shrugged, reaching for Aidan’s glass he had left on the table seeing as he had no hope of taking his back from Harry.

 

“That’s it?”

 

“Yeah, that’s it” Louis said, leaning back against the sofa. “What were you expecting?”

 

“I don’t know, a little more excitement. Are you going on another date?”

 

“I said I’d meet up with him when I’m home in a couple weeks, he’s in London. Turns out he’s only a few streets away from me so I said he could cook me dinner one time”

 

“Oh great” Niall said, his arms flying up in the air “Someone else to steal you from me! First Styles and now Aidan, _again_! I’m gonna have to ask you to stop shagging everyone because it’s inconvenient for me”

 

“I’m not bloody shagging him” Louis hissed “Shut up”

 

“You said that about Harry and then you two shagged, twice, probably more!”

 

“Niall” Both Louis and Harry shouted at the same time, Niall gazed between the two of them with wide eyes.

 

“Fuck” Niall blurted.

 

“You two were shagging?” Zayn said, he bit back a laugh as the question fell from his lips. “Wow, makes sense why Lou was all secretive about Harry”

 

“No, Niall’s just drunk” Louis quickly attempted to cover for Harry, but it was no use. Zayn wasn’t stupid. “you can’t tell anyone, like really, please. No one knows and if it got out then Harry would have loads of issues and I can’t…” He drawled off babbling a load of tipsy words, attempting to plead with Zayn.

 

“Calm down, will ya? Who the fuck am I gonna tell? It’s nobody's business what you two get up to” Zayn shifted in his seat, unphased. “It does however explain why Harry has repeatedly asked if we had heard from you all night”

 

“Shut up” Harry mumbled “I just wanted to know how it went, that’s all”

 

“Yeah” Zayn and Niall both said in unison, laughter hidden beneath their words.

 

Louis glanced at Harry at his side, he was holding Louis’ wine glass up to his lips, looking everywhere and anywhere but at Louis.

 

“Clearly you’re both hung up on each other, so what the fuck are you going on a date with someone else?” Zayn asked, his gaze aimed at Louis.

 

Louis parted his mouth, ready to answer but the words didn’t come out. He looked at Harry again, this time he was staring at Louis alongside Zayn, waiting for the answer but Louis just couldn’t find one. It was Harry who had to answer that one, if they really were hung up on each other than why wasn’t Harry doing anything.

 

“Because Harry’s a wanker” Louis was thankful for Niall at that very moment. “He’s got commitment issues”

 

“No I fucking haven’t, I was just starting to like you. Don’t ruin it” Harry warned, necking the remainder of Louis’ drink.

 

“If so, answer Zayn” Niall said, crossing his arms over his chest. He was still standing, lingering as he waited for the drinks to arrive. “Why are you two fucking about so much? It’s simple, why make it so difficult. Louis, you’re head over heels”

 

“Can you stop?” Louis eventually said. He stood up from his seat, he glanced between the three lads “My fucking love life is none of your business, I don’t need anyone telling me what I should and shouldn’t be doing. Me and Harry aren’t together and we never will be. Just drop it”

 

“Lou…” Zayn started but Louis shook his head.

 

He walked away from them and made his way over to the bar, he needed something stronger. Something to make this all much easier, without the constant reminder of Harry. He couldn’t even go on a date without him turning up or his best friend shoving his opinion in.

 

He fell onto the bar with a huff “Two shots please, Jäger”

 

“Of course, Sir”

 

He glanced over at the three of them, Aidan now walking over to join them. His eyes scattered between Harry and Aidan. He didn’t understand why it was so difficult. Moving on from someone was never easy, that was for sure, but it was even harder when the person they were trying to move on from he couldn’t stay away from.

 

Harry had this thing about him, he was like a magnet, it was easy to radiate towards him, his energy made it so easy to become lost in him. The fact he had cuddled up with him before his date said it all, no normal person would do that. It didn’t matter that he wasn’t sleeping with him anymore either because he knew deep down he wished he was. He was stuck.

 

He needed to stop being so bloody childish. He needed to tell Harry that he couldn’t carry on as they are and he needed to mean it this time not let it last a couple of days and then ask him to sleep with him again. He needed to stick to his guns and that was that.

 

He watched as the three boys all carried on in their own conversation, every now and then Zayn or Niall would join Aidan into it however Harry sat back, his eyes anywhere but on Aidan. Being the immature boy he was.

 

“Here you go”

 

Louis glanced forward at the two shots in front of him, he took a deep breath and reached for the first. He took no time in bringing the glass to his lips, gulping the liquid down his throat. He placed the shot glass down and reached for the next one without hesitation, repeating the same action.

 

He exhaled a breath, reached his hand up to wipe his mouth and looked at the bartender again “Better make that two more mate”

 

Two turned into four and then turned to six and by the seventh one he was wincing, regretting his decision knowing he would pay for this the next day with the words worst Jäger and Wine mixed hangover.

 

It was only then that one of the boys decided to make the effort and check up on Louis, he must have looked like such a mess. Leaving his friends to drink shots by himself as a way to cope with how fucked his head was.

 

“Are you okay?”

 

Louis glanced up, holding his eighth shot in his hand still contemplating whether it was a good idea to take it or not but as soon as he saw it was Harry the decision was easy, he held the glass to his lips and necked it.

 

He grimaced at the taste, almost bulking, his body rejecting the disgusting tasting alcohol. He covered his mouth and nodded, holding the alcohol down. “Yeah” he breathed out once he thought it was safe to do so.

 

“I’d love to believe you but you _literally_ stormed off”

 

“Yeah well, everyone needs to stop getting involved don’t they?” Louis said, tilting his head with a forced smile. He rolled his eyes and turned to the bartender, he didn’t say anything he just placed two fingers up. He understood well enough, he grabbed Louis’ shot glasses and turned round to find two fresh ones.  

 

“Are you sure you should drink that much?”

 

Louis took a deep breath, he was so close to snapping at someone tonight and he couldn’t even help it. “Look, I’m more than capable of knowing how much I can and can’t drink, H. Anyway, you’re drunk, why can’t I be?”

 

“I’m not saying you can’t be” Harry quickly defended, he shuffled up onto the stool beside Louis. “But seriously, what are you getting all pissed about it? The boys didn’t mean any harm by it, you know that. _Even Niall_ ”

 

“I know” Louis sighed, maybe he was being slightly dramatic. “I’m just stressed out”

 

“Is this because of me? Because of what I said earlier?”

 

Louis shook his head, noting the two fresh shots in front of him. He was definitely going to puke tonight. “No. It’s me, I’m the reason I’m stressed. _Me_ ”

 

Harry watched as Louis downed the shot in front of him, just as he was reaching for the second, Harry’s hand shot out and pulled it away, moving it behind him on the bar. Louis turned to look at him, genuinely upset by it.

 

“No more” Harry shook his head “When you stand up you’re going to be all over the place” as he said it, he picked up the other shot and drank it himself. “There, now you’re not tempted” he wiped his mouth.

 

“We’ve only got a week and a half left” Louis suddenly admitted, leaning his elbows on the bar. He rested his chin on the palm of his hands.

 

“I know” Harry drawled out. “Is that the problem?”

 

“No. The problem is, I know that after it ends, everything will go back to how it was before the movie happened. I’ll go home, I’ll see Aidan, get back into normality and you’ll fly off somewhere exotic on some expensive yacht and it’ll be like none of this happened” Louis sighed, he was a lot more intoxicated than he thought.

 

“You don’t have to see Aidan, not if you don’t want to”

 

“That’s not what I’m annoyed about” Louis glanced over his shoulder at Harry. “I’m annoyed at you”

 

Harry frowned, he was on the defence “What did I do?”

 

“Everything” He slurred, the alcohol suddenly hitting him all at once. It was a good thing Harry took that shot. “I’m supposed to be on a date and where am I? At a bar talking to you, it’s always _you_ ”

 

“That’s because I came over Lou”

 

“Yeah I know, like you always do. You know throughout the whole date I was comparing everything to you, the choice in wine, the view, what you would say if you saw something, just all fucking you”

 

“That’s not my fault Lou”

 

Louis hummed “No, it’s not is it. It never is” he lifted his head from his hands as he sat back against the back of the stool he was sitting on. “I don’t know how much longer I can do this”

 

“Do what?”

 

“Pretend” Louis admitted, crossing his arms over his chest. “We can’t keep doing what we’re doing, _this_ , it’s not friendly or platonic like we keep preaching. It’s weird. Do you not think it’s fucking so strange that before going on a date with my ex boyfriend I was in bed with you? Cuddling? Like it’s a normal thing to do”

 

“That’s just what we do” Harry shrugged “it’s not weird”

 

“Yes it is, Harry. It’s so fucking weird. I just don’t understand any of it. How we went from hating each other, to shagging each other, to me disliking you again and now back to this. It’s so bloody confusing”

 

Harry turned on his stool so his body directly faced Louis “Yeah, but, that’s just what we’re like. Isn’t it? What’s the big issue Lou? It works, we’re both content”

 

“Are we?” Louis stammered “Because I don’t think I am. I’m stressed about the movie, I’ve distracted myself from it all, which is so out of character for me. I’ve allowed our _relationship_ to come before my professionalism. I’ve been so wrapped up in it all that I’ve lost sight of who I am, I don’t even know who I am”

 

“You’re Louis”

 

“Yeah, I know. But, I feel like this movie has just changed me completely. My optimism has vanished completely, I wouldn’t even consider myself a hopeless romantic anymore, I’d say romance is dead if anything” Louis shook his head through a breathless laugh.

 

“You’re being dramatic, love. It’s not that deep”

 

“But it is. You wouldn’t understand, would you?”

 

“Why wouldn’t I?” Harry quizzed. Confused by it all. They were both equally as drunk as one another. It wasn’t the best time to be having this sort of conversation.

 

“Harry, you don’t even know who you are. Can you honestly look in the mirror and say _yeah, I’m in control_? You’re trained to think and act a certain way, so much so that even when you have something right in front of you, begging for you to just understand, you sweep it under the rug like it doesn’t matter”

 

“That’s not-“

 

“Don’t say it’s not true. You just don’t get it, do you?”

 

“No, I can’t say I do Louis. It’s like you’re talking a completely different language right now. Is this because your date was shit or because you’re upset with me?”

 

“Neither. It’s because…” Louis sighed, his head turned to face Harry. “It’s because of me. And how fucking head over heels in love with you I am and how I can’t do anything about it”

 

Harry stilled as soon as Louis’ confessed it, it was like he went into panic mode. His eyes were frantic, his lashes hitting his cheek as he blinked repeatedly, his mouth slightly agape as he took it all in and Louis felt weak. Like he had just laid his heart on the line to be trampled on completely.

 

“You…” Harry spoke, his voice choked. “You what?”

 

“I love you, Harry. And I’m afraid you’re just going to have to live with that” Louis sighed, he beckoned the bartender over “A pint, please”

 

“Make that two” Harry quickly said, nodding to the bartender. He waited for him to leave and inched closer to Louis in his seat “Lou…”

 

“Don’t Harry. Please don’t preach about how it couldn’t work, how you can’t love me back because it’s not fair or that you don’t know how to love someone. I’ve heard it all, remember? I don’t need a reminder”

 

“But it’s true” Harry said, his voice barely a whisper. He reached his hand out and placed it on top of Louis thigh. “I wish I could tell you I loved you and tell you it would be fine, we could make this work but we can’t Louis. Our lives are just too different. You’re too kind for my world, you’d be ripped to pieces”

 

“Assumptions” Louis stated.

 

“You really think you could do what I do? The only reason I’m coping with it is because I have to Louis, I’ve been trained from a young age to deal with it. You, you’re just too innocent for all of this” Harry attempted to explain, his words jumbling. “You would have to hide constantly, we wouldn’t be able to hide behind movie sets and secret hotel rooms. There would be speculation constantly, people would be against us, we wouldn’t have a hope from the start. And you, you’re just the kindest, most amazing person I’ve ever met in my life. I wouldn’t want you to deal with any of that”

 

“It’s fine Harry” Louis said, forcing a smile. “You don’t need to try and make me feel better about it. I know you don’t love me back and that’s, well, yeah that’s okay. It’s me I’m angry at, for allowing myself to fall in love with you when I knew from the start it couldn’t happen. I suppose I’m just fed up of it all, the situation. I guess I’m also sad that this comes to an end soon”

 

“We said we wouldn’t let anything change, we can still be friends, remember? See each other”

 

Louis breathed a laugh, he looked up as the bartender placed the two drinks in front of them “Thank you.” He waited for him to leave, he placed a free hand on top of Harry’s and met his eyes “No we can’t, love. When the movies over, so is _this_. I need to get over you, yeah? It’s not fair for me to carry on feeling this way, it’s too hard”

 

“But, that’s not fair on me either” Harry pleaded “C’mon, you know you’ll end up calling me a week after filming asking for a movie night with a den and all, it’ll all be the same as what it was”

 

“No, it won’t” Louis shook his head, his free hand reached out to grab his pint. He took a large sip and placed it down as he swallowed “I’m going to see Aidan again when I’m home, I think maybe things could work with him. He’s a nice enough guy, we have chemistry and I know that if I loved him again he would love me back”

 

“You can’t just settle because it’s easier Louis”

 

“We can’t just be friends because it’s _easier_ for you” Louis fired back. “Harry, What do you want from me? Because, it seems everything I do is hopeless. You’re upset at the idea of me being with someone else yet you do nothing to stop it. You don’t want lose me but you don’t want to fight for me either. There’s no winning”

 

“I just want my friend” Harry declared.

 

“But we’ll never be just friends, will we Harry? There’s this thing between us” Louis said, using his finger to gesture between the two of them “That I can’t explain. It just makes it so hard to be _just friends_ with you”

 

“This is what’s been up with you lately isn’t it? The freak outs? The random meltdowns?” Harry asked through a whisper. Louis wanted nothing more than for Harry’s hand to reach out and touch him, to feel his fingers against bare skin. “Because of me and how you feel?”

 

Louis nodded, glancing down at their hands “I’ve never felt like this about anybody. Not even Aidan. It’s just so overwhelming, you know? Someone said to me that _when the universe tells you something, you should just go for it_. But, when everything else is stopping you, it makes it so much harder”

 

“I’m sorry Louis” Harry eventually said, his thumb stroking Louis’ hand. “I’m so sorry I can’t be who you want me to be”

 

“That’s okay” Louis shook his head “Life's not a fairytale is it?”

 

“I guess not, no”

 

“I’m sorry… I’m just all over the place. I shouldn’t be throwing this on you, not tonight after you’ve had such a good night with my friends. That wasn’t fair”

 

“You should have told me sooner”

 

“It’s a little more difficult than that Harry” Louis lamented.

 

“It should never be difficult with me, you should be able to tell me anything, that’s what we based this all on Lou. How comfortable we are with each other. The moment you started feeling this way, you should have told me”

 

“What for? Rejection? No thanks, H”

 

“Fuck Lou” Harry groaned, he used his free hand to lace his fingers in his hair and push it from his face. He glanced at his pint and picked it up. Louis watched through hooded eyes as Harry brought the glass to his lips, he was relentless. Necking it back as if it was water and not a heavy alcohol substance that left you bloated.

 

“Fuck sake Harry, no need to binge drink over it” Louis watched with wide eyes as Harry took no prisoners, he took his time and drank the entire drink from the glass. He exhaled a breath, long and deep and placed his glass onto the counter.

 

Harry gazed at Louis, glassy eyed and blushed cheeks. Louis was concerned, he wasn’t sure if Harry was about to pass out on him, puke all over the lobby or kick off and cause a scene.

 

“Give me one more night” Harry stated and Louis frowned, he leaned back slightly in his seat. “Tonight. Have one last night with me”

 

“Harry…”

 

“No, listen. You’re saying everything in the world is holding us against each other, telling us not to do this and you’re right. And although I wish I could keep you in my life forever, you’ve made it clear you can’t do that. So all I’m asking for is one more night, just you and me”

 

“Are you asking me to come back and have sex with you?” Louis questioned, looking to confirm this strange change in conversation.

 

“Yes, Louis. If you want me as much as I really fucking want you, then before you walk away like you should, give me one last night with you so I can remember it”

 

“I don’t know” Louis cautioned. But then he locked with Harry’s eyes, the pleading look in them was nothing he had seen before. He felt every inch of him, the need for it and Louis matched it. He wanted Harry more than he had ever wanted anyone, he wanted to feel his fingers against his skin, his lips touch his own and revel in him.

 

He knew it was a bad idea. Really, he did.

 

“Okay” Louis agreed through a whisper, becoming slightly breathless at the thought of it.

 

Harry nodded, he tapped his hand on Louis’ thigh. “Okay, lets go over to the lads. We’ll finish our drinks, you go to bed first and I’ll follow you”

 

“Okay” Louis was repeating himself now.

 

It took Louis a few seconds to actually collect his thoughts and understanding what was happening. It was much more intense than he had remembered it being before, this time they were going back to Louis’ room for one last night together. One last time. The intense vibe that came from it was overpowering.

 

He grabbed his pint and followed Harry, staying close his side as they walked back to the sofas. The lads had a tray on the table, empty shot glasses and half empty glasses of beer. Zayn was laughing away about something whilst Niall and Aidan were staring at him with smiles on their faces. A wash of guilt came over Louis, he felt like the worst person in the world right now. He couldn’t believe he had become one of those people who has a date and ends up spending the night with someone else.

 

Harry places a hand on his lower back and ushered Lou in front of him, guiding him behind the single seats to the double sofa. Even the touch of Harry’s hand sent electric spirals through Louis’ body, he knew that soon those hands would be wondering across his body. He shivered at the thought.

 

“Hi” Harry greeted, he and Louis sat down at the same time. Their pints rested on their knees.

 

“You okay love?” Aidan asked and Louis actually winced.

 

He forced a smile and nodded “I’m sorry guys, been a stressful time. Shouldn’t have taken that out on you”

 

“It’s alright mate, no problem” Zayn said, reaching to pat Louis’ shoulder. “Anyway…”

 

The conversation soon came back to life and the three of them continued their chatter, Louis sat back in his seat, nervously sipping on his beer. He was a built up pent of anxiety, not because of what was happening. Not at all. He wanted it more than he could ever describe. But, for what this meant. If this really was the last night they spent together then he knew that _Louis and Harry_ , their little adventure was coming to an end and he would have to actually move on and carry on his life without him.

 

That was scary to him.

 

As little as five months, that’s all it was, he had managed to fall in love with the actor everybody hated. Find the good in him, fall in love with his soul and marvel in his beauty. Such a short amount of time and yet it felt like he had known Harry for an eternity. He didn’t know if he really was ready to let go of him.

 

Harry was sat so close that his thigh rested against his own, Louis was sipping on his beer quietly with eyes focused on their innocent touch.

 

He sat back, contained himself and attempted to join in the conversation. A few laughs when appropriate and shoving in a playfully abusive comment at Niall whenever he had the chance. Harry’s arm soon moved around the back of the sofa and his fingers were hidden behind Louis’ neck, none of the boys able to see as his fingertips traced the bare skin. And Louis did all he could to contain himself, he was an adult, he shouldn’t be getting all worked up over a gentle touch.

 

As soon as he had finally finished his beer, he placed the glass onto the table in front of him and inched forward in his seat pulling himself from Harry’s touch.

 

“Right lads” Louis announced, glancing at the clock on the wall “I’m afraid I’m going to have to love you and leave you, if I don’t sleep I’m going to be even crankier tomorrow”

 

“The nights still young” Zayn pouted “But fine. Get this movie finished so you can spend some proper time with me, yeah?”

 

“Definitely” He said, he reluctantly gazed over to Aidan, guilt ridden. “Thanks for tonight. I’ll give you a text tomorrow, yeah?”

 

“Oh, yeah, sure. Do you want me to walk you up?”

 

“You’re alright mate” Harry suddenly said, placing his own glass onto the table “I should probably head off too, he’ll have my neck if I’m not on top form tomorrow. I’ll make sure he gets back to his room, the little drunk idiot that he is”

 

“Rude” Louis said, playing the little game Harry was playing.

 

“Is that okay with you?” Aidan asked, clearly concerned.

 

“Yeah, it’s okay. He’s managed to drag my drunk arse to that room a few times, he can deal with it tonight. After all, I’m letting him be in my movie” Louis joked playfully.

 

“If you’re sure”

 

“And you, Horan!” Louis said, pointing at his drunk best friend who was splayed out on a two seater sofa. “Please stop yourself from turning up on my set tomorrow, these are important days and I don’t need you corrupting my actors”

 

“That’s no fun”

 

“I’ll see you all soon” Louis said, standing up. He avoiding giving any of them a hug, mainly to avoid doing the same to Aidan as well. He didn’t have it in him. Instead, he waved them off. He glanced behind him and nodded to Harry.

 

“Come here” Harry said, throwing an arm around Louis’ waist. “Don’t want you falling on your arse”

 

They both waved he rest of the boys off and Louis allowed Harry to lead him across the lobby, aware that the paps were more than aware of where they were staying and if anyone pictured them like this then speculations would come in their hundreds but Harry didn’t care. Most likely because he was drunk.

 

They reached the elevator and Harry pulled his arm from Louis’ waist and he pressed the button and they stood side by side, silently waiting for the doors to open.

 

And when they did, Louis heart began racing. This was happening. Again. But this time it meant so much more.

 

They stepped inside, steps matching with one another. Louis walked to the back of the empty elevator and lent his unbalanced self against the wall. Harry reached for the number for Louis’ floor and stood opposite him,

 

It was like a never ending moment, the two lads eyes locked on one another as the doors slowly closed behind Harry. Once they did, Louis watched as Harry licked his lips and then sauntered forward, he didn’t give Harry a chance to take him by surprise this time. His hands came flying up, reaching to grasp at Harry’s neck, he pulled his face towards his own and like that, magic hit.

 

His lips were against the younger boys, he moaned into it with a sensation he would never be able to explain. Harry’s hands gripped Louis’ waist and pulled him close, the kiss was frantic, like they were searching for everything and more. Louis was fighting his tongue against Harry’s, moulding into it, while Harry was parting from Louis’ to bite down on his bottom lip. The noise that escaped Louis was unreal, Harry’s eyes were ravaged, like in that moment he had won the fucking lottery.

 

The doors pinged open behind them and they slowly pulled back from one another, so lost in each other that they didn’t care who saw. Luckily for them, no one stepped in.

 

Harry stepped back and held his hand out for Louis, Louis hesitantly reached his hand out and laced his fingers through Harry’s.

 

“Come on” Harry whispered.

 

Louis let Harry lead him out the elevator, they walked hand in hand in silence. Louis shoved his free hand into his pocket and pulled out his room key, they approached his door and Louis reluctantly removed his hand from Harry’s grip. He hovered the keycard over the lock and used his other hand to push the door open, he walked in ahead of Harry and threw the card somewhere onto the shelf by the door.

 

He couldn’t explain how he was feeling, it was like it was his first time all over again, the giddy feeling arising in his body. This was the first time he had been completely aware of what he was doing, he wasn’t doing this because he was drunk and wanted Harry like usual. He was doing this because he _needed_ him.

 

He heard the door close behind him as soon as he reached the edge of his bed, he took a deep breath and turned his body around. He looked up at Harry, waiting.

 

It was like a magnet that came between them in that very moment, suddenly and all at once, Harry’s arms were around Louis’ waist and Louis had jumped up into them. His legs lingering around Harry’s waist, hands lost in his unruly locks and his lips leaving feverish kisses along Harry’s neck.

 

“Fuck, Lou” Harry moaned, pulling Louis’ head back by his hair so he could face him. And then he closed the distance, his lips finding Louis’ in a rushed kiss, like he needed Louis’ lips to breathe.

 

Harry walked them across the room until he reached the bed, he lay Louis’ back against the mattress and stood at the foot, he inhaled and bit his lip as he gazed at Louis “you’re fucking beautiful”

 

“Kiss me” Louis demanded, his arms reaching up to usher him close.   

 

Harry nodded, he reached for the hem of his shirt, barely a necessity anyway he only had two of the buttons actually done up. It was a pointless necessity. He threw his shirt into the room and ducked down, his lips attaching onto Louis’ with a groan. Louis’ hands flew up to Harry’s hair, pulling on the loose strands just to hear Harry’s deep throated moan against his lips.

 

Harry’s fingers traced down to the bottom of Louis’ shirt, he detached his lips as he frantically pulled at the fabric, Louis lifted his upper body so Louis could discard it. He fell back onto the mattress expecting to find Harry’s lips again but instead, he felt them on his neck. He closed his eyes, his head leaning back as he felt the warmth cross against him. Harry bit down on the skin just below Louis’ ear and sucked on the skin and Louis’ hummed out a moan, revelling at the feeling. Not worrying about the fact he would have a lovebite to cover the next day.

 

Harry’s lips wondered down Louis’ body, exploring any bare skin they could find, trailing down to his stomach and to his waist line where his jeans were tightly fastened. Louis looked down just to see Harry looking up at him through his lashes and the sight was enough for him to come at the sight.

 

Harry’s fingers reached up for the button on Louis’ jeans, he unfastened it and pulled down his zip. His hands grasped he top of the material and the lining of Louis’ boxers, Louis actually gulped at the feeling, revelling in it. He lay back and watched as Harry swiped them both down in one quick movement, watching as his dick sprung up to lay against his stomach, leaning precome like it had been doing since he imaged this. He helped Harry, kicking his ankles to remove the clothing.

 

Louis felt small, laying there completely bare for Harry to stand and stare at it. It didn’t make him uncomfortable, the look Harry had as his eyes raked over his body was enough for him to buck up on the bed, waiting and wishing to be touched.

 

“Honestly, you should see yourself” Harry said, his hands reaching for his own jeans. Louis watched as he unfastened them at an unfair pace, leaving Louis laying there waiting. “It’s like a fucking painting, you’re beautiful Louis”

 

“Shut up” Louis said through a deep breath, eyes focused on Harry’s hands. “Hurry up. The shits in my draw”

 

Harry discarded his jeans and boxers quickly, leaving himself on show for Louis to see and he had a cheek to say Louis was beautiful, because Harry was unreal. Harry reaches into the bedside table, pulling out a bottle of lube and a condom, he glanced back at Louis as he threw them onto the bed. He slowly made his way back, hovering over Louis, holding himself with one arm as the other traced over Louis’ bare body.

 

“Why did you have lube Lou? Planning something?” Harry asked, leaving haste kisses against Louis’ neck.

 

“I…” Louis moaned, Harry’s hand had reached down and grasped Louis’ dick, slow movements as he pulled up and down and Louis suddenly couldn’t breathe.

 

“Tell me” Harry urged, halting his movements and Louis whined, bucking his hips for friction. “Why did you have lube?”

 

“I used it” Louis said, his head falling back and lips parted as Harry began moving his hand again on his sensitive dick. He had forgotten how good it felt to have Harry’s hands wrapped around him.

 

“To do what?” Harry asked, his husky breath hitting the back of his ear and Louis shivered.

 

“When you’re not here, I use it” Louis admitted “I think about you, imagine its you” he was lost in it all at that very moment. Only focusing on how good it felt to have Harry’s hands and lips on his body.

 

“Fuck, that’s hot” Harry breathed, he hitched Louis’ legs around his hips and shuffled forward, a free hand still working on him. The other doing whatever it was doing.

 

There was something insane about the feeling you had when you were with someone you adored so much, this intense inner body experience that couldn’t be explained. Having someone want you so much was the biggest turn on and Louis was revelling in it.

 

Louis was so lost, edging closer as Harry’s hand moved painfully slow around him. He hadn’t even heard Harry open the lube or noticed him spread it across his fingers.

 

Harry’s lips found Louis’ again, pushing hard, his tongue escaping into his mouth and Louis moaned into it.

 

“You ready?” Harry asked, his hot against Louis. And Louis nodded desperately, urging him to get on with it. He whined as Harry’s hand moved from his painfully hard dick and moved so he could use it to hold himself up.

 

Louis lay back, restless as his body twitched. All of sudden, Harry’s fingers are at his entrance, his dick twitched at the sudden feeling. And Harry opens him up, middle finger first, moving slow as he teased Louis’ hole, it’s not painful or uncomfortable like it should have been. Probably because it was only a few days that Louis had been laying in that exact spot playing with himself over the image he had of Harry.  

 

Harry added two fingers, they were moving at insane pace and Louis was panting, his head flying back as he took in the feeling, moaning and his hands gripping onto the material of the sheet beneath him. When Harry adds a third, the noise that escapes Louis is insane, he actually hears Harry growl, like something unnatural. His fingers were unnatural, nobody’s fingers should feel that good Louis thought. He was finger fucking him, relentlessly in and out and all over the place.

 

“Fuck” Harry groaned, Louis opened his eyes to gaze at him. Harry sitting back on his knees, three fingers inside Louis and his other hand stroking himself. His eyes were piercing, cheeks flushed and he looked fucked. Louis must have looked like same.

 

“Fuck, Harry… please” Louis begged, he wasn’t even sure what he was begging for. All he knew was that he needed Harry close, in every way he possibly could.

 

“Okay baby” Harry said through a moan, he pulled his fingers from Louis and watched as the older boy whined and squirmed from the lack of contact. He reached for the condom, he used his teeth to rip the packet open and pulled it out. Louis was watching as Harry rolled the condom onto his dick.

 

It was like Louis was sober all of a sudden, his body reminding him that he wanted to remember this.

 

“Shall I turn around?” Louis asked as soon as Harry had the condom on, already attempting to sit up and move but Harry shook his head.

 

Harry used his hand to push Louis back down “No. I want it like this” he said, eyes locked on Louis.

 

Louis nodded, his legs automatically falling back so his knees were hitting the sheets, inviting Harry in.

 

Harry falls into Louis, positioning himself between Louis’ legs, his lips find Louis’ in a desperate need of want. Louis revels in it, pulling at Harry’s hair and mocking his legs around him, pulling him close so that they grinded together at both boys moaned against each other, lips a jumble of vibrations and need.

 

Harry kissed Louis once more and lifted his upper body up, he lined himself up to Louis’ entrance, his tip rubbing over the entrance. Louis lay his head back, eyes closed as he felt the pressure. One thing he would never be able to forget was how big Harry was, how perfectly big he was, fitting Louis perfectly.

 

He hissed as he felt the burn that came with it as Harry inched himself in until Louis was able to bottom out, Harry was hovering over Louis again holding himself with his hands. There they were attached to one another as Louis contained himself, adjusting to the burn and pressure.

 

“Fuck” Louis muled, a hand reaching up to grasp Harry’s neck.

 

“You’re so tight” Harry’s breath hitched in his throat as he attempted to move back so slightly. “So fucking tight”

 

“Mm” Louis moaned, attempting concentrate on the feeling, relaxing his body.

 

“Say it Lou” Harry said, he had pulled out just enough that Louis was still able to feel him inside, ready to push back in.

 

“Say what?” Louis’ eyes snapped open, his fingers playing with the loose curls.

 

“Say it” Harry pleaded, eyes hooded as he waited.

 

Louis wanted to cry, he wanted to scream and shout, tell everyone how unfair this world was. That it wasn’t fair that he couldn’t have this forever, this very moment. But instead the world’s fell from his lips desperately.

 

“I love you”

 

Harry thrusted as soon as the words escaped Louis’ lips and Louis’ whole body tightened, it was deep and slow, revelling in that feeling, like he needed to feel every inch of Louis. Louis gasped, his hands reached up to link between Harry’s fingers that were gripping onto the bed above him.

 

“Fuck Lou” Harry panted, his movements only growing quicker and Louis ignored the uncomfortable feeling he still felt. He was lost.

 

Harry was working feverishly, his body thrusting into Louis like it belonged there and Louis just lay back, his hips moving to match his thrusts and eyes focused on Harry taking it all in. He glanced down and saw his own untouched cock rubbing between their bodies and the sight was orgasmic, the tiny patters of sweat falling from Harry’s toned body as he it rubbed against it.

 

“I fucking love this” Harry said, avoiding the one little word Louis needed. “You’re fucking perfect”

 

Louis unlatched one hand from Harry’s grip and reached up to grasp Harry’s neck, breathlessly pulling his lips down onto his own. “I love you” Louis mumbled against them and Harry just quickened his pace, desperate.

 

“Fuck” Harry groaned, he pulled back and shuffled back on the bed, his hands grasped Louis’ waist and once more thrusted in. And Louis’ head flew back, the feeling was intense, his whole stomach clenching and an insane feeling taking over his body.

 

“Yes, Yes, there. I love you” Louis chanted,

 

“I love this, you’re amazing” Harry said, breathless as he relentlessly thrusted into Louis getting off on the sight of Louis coming undone below him.

 

Louis reached above his head, his hands desperately grasping onto the bed sheet, clinging for anything to cope with the intense feeling he had. He felt himself growing closer and closer to coming undone. Untouched.

 

Harry was thrusting and Louis felt his body tighten, shaking as he felt himself grow closer “I’m… I’m gonna, fuck” he moaned, his head flew back, his lips parted an eyes scrunched closed as the white liquid spilled all over his stomach.

 

“Oh my god” Harry moaned, he kneeled back onto the bed and pulled Louis’ closer “I’m close baby, so close”

 

Louis’ body shuddered underneath Harry, his body being used as a way for Harry to cum. And he loved it, he eventually opened his eyes and watched as Harry hovered over him, thrusting in and out, deep and hard and if Louis hadn’t just came, he could have just at the sight.

 

His grasped around Harry’s back, pulling him close, Harry rested his head in the crook of Louis’ neck and Louis felt every deep breath and cracked moan, holding onto it like a broken record.

 

“I’m so… close” Harry whined.

 

“Come on” Louis egged him on, revelling in the way Harry felt inside him, breathless “Come for me baby”

 

“I’m….”

 

“Come on, I love you” Louis said and that was it.

 

With one last thrust, Harry spilled into the condom, his hips slowly moving in and out as his eyes closed and lips parted as the feeling overwhelmed him and Louis just reached his head up, kissing all over his face.

 

“Fuck” Harry eventually said, his face smothered into Louis’ neck as he hovered over him still.

 

“Yeah” Louis nodded, voice escaping through a heavy breath. “I know”

 

Harry let out a choked breath and kissed the sensitive skin on Louis’ neck, he slowly pulled himself from Louis and Louis’ breath hitched at the feeling. He knew he would feel that tomorrow.

 

Harry rolled to the side of Louis and fell back, sprawled out along the bed, leg over Louis’ and arm on his chest. He panted, alongside Louis as they contained themselves. Harry was finding his breath again, his eyes focused on the ceiling above them. Whereas, Louis had just had the feeling hit him like a tonne of bricks all at once. Realising that it was over. One more night, cuddled up in bed wrapped up in one another and then that was it, an agreement to end things there.

 

It ripped at his heartstrings. A beautiful moment ruined by a realisation.

 

“That was perfect Lou” Harry said, rolling to his side, he leant on his elbow, his head rested on his hand. His other hand explored Louis’ chest, fingertips running over the marks he had left on the pure skin. “I could do that forever”

 

“Yeah” Louis gulped, eyes brimming with tears “Me too”

 

“I’ll miss you, you know? Every day” Harry admitted, his fingertips pulled at Louis chin until he managed to get Louis to face him. “I may not be able to give you what you want, but you should know you’ll be in my heart Louis, always, no matter what”

 

“I love you” Louis whispered, the words escaping like a chorus at this point. And Harry smiled, although his eyes never quite reciprocated with it. He bent his neck down and kissed Louis, gentle and haste.

 

Then they were wrapped up in one another, Louis resting against Harry’s chest above the sheets, only a few secret tears escaping his eyes despite his fight. Harry’s hands tracing up and down Louis’ spine. The TV playing quietly in the background.

 

“I’m sorry I couldn’t be your happy ever after”

 

Those hushed words broke Louis heart, all of sudden and all at once. Louis had lost his happily ever after, he was losing the one person who could make his heart race and body tingle. All because the world had other ideas for them.

 

Life wasn’t fair.

 


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Songs that I listened to whilst writing this chapter today.   
> I feel like they kinda describe the feelings in this chapter, as it's a lot of 'Coming to Terms'.
> 
> A very short chapter, more of a recap of events so we understand where the story is going next. 
> 
> Chase and Status - All Goes Wrong.   
> Kodaline - All I want.  
> Ramz - Barking.  
> Harry Styles - Two Ghosts.   
> Harry Styles - Ever Since New York.

Louis was hot. He was a sticky, hot mess, covered in the overgrown limbs of the curly haired boy above him. Harry had draped his body over Louis' as he slept, they had moulded into a hot mess, attached in every way they possibly could. Almost as though their subconscious was telling them to hold on, just for the little time they had left. Louis didn't mind, in fact, as his eyes opened and he peered down at the younger boy draped across him, he simply rounded his arms around his body and held in closely. Holding onto him like he _needed_ to.

 

If Louis had the choice, which at this point it was evident that he did not, he would have happily woke up like this for the rest of his life, Harry's gentle snoring being the only sound to radiate throughout his bedroom and Louis' own breaths chimed to the same breaths. It was strange, feeling how Louis did, feeling as though he was doing the right thing but the worst, all at the same time. He also felt so utterly naïve, to have agreed to this, to allow himself the torture for one evening, revelling in the way he and Harry mixed so perfectly. It was inhuman, the way their bodies moved with each other, like they belonged there. It was all about to be ripped away. 

 

Although, what they had inevitably had to end, he knew that he still had a week and a half to be surrounded by Harry, attempting to pull away from their normality of subtle touches and hidden affection. He would actually have to be professional, which was going to be a hard one, especially due to the fact he couldn't look at Harry Styles without wanting to touch him at every possible moment. 

 

Louis lay there for a while, his fingers tracing over Harry’s back as he thought back and remembered the evening before. He closed his eyes, revelling in the memories, his free hand reached up to his own neck, fingertips tracing over the obvious marks. He could still feel Harry's lips, gentle and haste against his flushed body. And he would do so, for now and forever, remembering his time with Harry. 

 

Eventually, way later than Louis had hoped, Harry stirred above him, his lips allowing a slight groan to escape as he stretched out across Louis' body. Louis hands stopped in their movements, his palm staying on the small of Harry's back. He watched beneath hooded eyes as the younger body nestled his head along Louis' stomach, humming to himself. Louis was about to open his lips, greeting him a Good Morning, but it seemed Harry had other things in mind. His face turned onto Louis' stomach and then his lips were kissing the bare skin, then again and again. Kissing everywhere he could possibly reach without having to move and Louis squirmed beneath him. 

 

 

“Stop it, it tickles” Louis wriggled, his speech choked from his giggling. 

 

“Good morning sunshine” Harry laughed. He swept the hair from his face, revealing his sleepy eyes and dozy smile. “You look beautiful” 

 

“Shut up" Louis blushed, his hand reaching up to play with Harry's unruly locks. "You know, you've woke up late. We're both going to be late today"

 

“Oh well” Harry mumbled beneath another kiss. “I’d much prefer to stay in bed with you all day” 

 

“Mm” Louis agreed “So would I. However, it turns out we've got jobs to do"

 

“Ah, is that what that's called, _a job_?" Harry teased.

 

“Apparently so" Louis played along, smiling as his fingers got lost beneath Harry's locks. "You do stuff for people and you get paid"

 

“I thought that was prostitution” Harry asked, gazing up at Louis beneath his lashes. “Which by the way, I strongly thing you should consider” 

 

“Being a prostitute?" Louis snorted, tilting his head at the question with amused eyes. 

 

Harry hummed “Or a porn star” 

 

“Oh, how lovely” 

 

“The noises you were making last night were porn qualified, absolutely insane” 

 

Louis grimaced, he always hated being reminded of things he had done or said during sex. “Ew, stop” 

 

“I’m being deadly serious! You’re fucking unreal. I'm genuinely so upset you won't let me be the only person to hear you, but sadly you're gonna fuck off and start shagging other people. Who, by the way, won't even appreciate it like I do"

 

“You wanna start the morning off with a comment like that, Styles? Way to ruin the illusion” Louis rolled his eyes. 

 

Harry shrugged, he wrapped his arms around Louis' stomach, his lips attaching to the bare skin. Louis was watching him, the way Harry's lips trailed across him it was as though he was searching for something, as if he had missed something and was on a hunt to find it. 

 

“Oh, I don’t know, getting up for work?” Louis asked, attempting to shift Harry. 

 

“Or we could do something else” Harry suggested and at first Louis was going to question him but as Harry's lips trailed across his stomach and to his waistline it was clear what he had in mind. "I know what I'd rather"

 

Harry’s hands grasped beneath Louis thighs and yanked, pulling Louis flat out onto the bed. The look of utter mischief on Harry's face was endearing. Harry opened Louis’ legs slightly and shuffled his way between them, laying on his stomach with his legs hanging from the edge. His lips hovered over louis’ thighs, leaving gentle kisses and Louis began to squirm. 

 

“We don’t have time” Louis whined. 

 

“We have plenty of time” Harry said, biting Louis’ thigh. 

 

“Ouch” Louis said, although it came out more as a whine. “Stop it” 

 

“You don’t want me to really, do you?” Harry murmured and Louis knew he didn’t, not really. But he was under the impression that this was a new day and this could not happen. “Do you want my mouth Louis or my fingers?” 

 

Louis choked, even _sober_ Harry had no filter, straight to the point, as always. 

 

“You’ll have to tell me baby, I can’t read minds. Although, he seems awake, doesn’t he?” Harry teased, reaching a hand up to grasp Louis’ cock in his hand and Louis’ breath hitched in the back of his throat “I’ll ask you again babe, mouth or fingers?” 

 

“Your mouth” Louis blurted, suddenly as into this as Harry. But then again, most the time all Harry had to do was open that pretty little mouth of his and speak and Louis would become weak at the knees. The Harry Styles Effect. 

 

“As you wish” Harry said. "One last time, I want you to remember this, yeah? Remember how it feels" 

 

Louis mouth went dry as he watched with eagled eyes, Harry wrapped his hand around Louis’ cock and moved his hand up and down agonisingly slow while he continued to torture Louis' thighs with his mouth. 

 

At that moment, Harry’s tongue swiped a slick line from the base of his cock to the very tip, swiping at the split and Louis’ head fell back, his eyes fluttering closed at the contact.  “Have a cheek” Louis breathed out, humming at the feeling. “You’re a fucking pornstar” 

 

“Yeah, maybe you’re right” Harry said and then without a warning, he took Louis into his mouth, hollowing his cheeks around it until he choked a little as the tip hit the back of his throat. And then he hummed against it and Louis was wrecked. 

 

“Harry” He breathed out, his hand reaching out to grasp at Harry’s hair, pulling on the strands to feel the vibrations from his moans around his cock. 

 

Harry was like something possessed, he couldn’t help it, he found himself in a mix of pleasure and wondering how the fuck Harry did this so easily. His tongue swirling across the head of his cock, his hand working on the base where he couldn’t quite reach. 

 

“Fuck” Louis hitched, the feeling building up within him again. The reminder of last night. It didn't take much for Harry to get Louis off, it was easy, he was beautiful, an illusion that he was so lucky to have seen.

 

And when he glanced down and caught eyes with Harry, it was easily the sexiest thing he had ever seen in his life to have those gorgeous green eyes hooked on Louis while his lips did something so dirty. 

 

“Mm” Harry said, popping off as his hand continued to work. He stuck his tongue out, circling Louis’ tip, his eyes never pulling away “you taste amazing” 

 

“Oh my god” Louis groaned, his head falling back onto the pillow again. And honestly, he could stay in bed forever with Harry whispering the dirtiest things to him and marvel in it all. But as Harry began to bop his head up and down and his hand worked faster, Louis couldn’t even warn Harry when it was coming. He caught eyes once more with him and he came, right there and then shot down the back of Harry’s throat. 

 

“Fucking hell” Louis sighed, his arms falling to the sides of him. “I think you’ve ruined me” 

 

“You think?” Harry said through a laugh. He reached up, wiping his mouth with a dreamy smile. 

 

“Yes, definitely” 

 

Harry giggled, he shuffled his way up the bed until he could wrap himself around Louis’ body. His arms wrapping around his waist to pull him closer. He smiled as they faced each other, Louis was about to say something about personal space but Harry stopped him, moulding his lips over his own. 

 

Okay. Louis didn’t mind being late to work after all. 

 

“Do you want me to?” Louis eventually said, pulling back from the kiss, his free hand stroking Harry’s back. 

 

Harry shook his head, eyes focused on Louis’ "No, I'm fine" 

 

“We really do have to get up in a minute” Louis sighed, clocking the time on the clock behind Harry on the bedside table.

 

"Yeah, I know" Harry mumbled, nestling his head into the crook of Louis' neck, his lips faint on the skin beneath Louis' ear. And Louis' arms wrapped around the younger boys back, holding him close. 

 

Louis' stomach dropped, the realisation hitting him like a ten tonne truck. He closed his eyes, revelling in the moment, taking Harry in like a figment of his imagination. It didn't feel real anymore, it was like he was imaging this, like Harry wasn't here. 

 

“I love you” Louis declared through a faint whisper, his arms tightening around Harry. Admitting it with not a single drop of alcohol in his system, raw and meaningful, just like he felt. And he would regret it, becoming so easily naïve for someone like Harry but in that moment, he needed to say it. The three small words clung to his chest likea weight, unable to shake it off, he would say it however many times he needed to until he felt it was enough "I love you, so much"

 

And all Harry could say was “I know” it was all he could ever say. Louis thought that was okay, really, it was, he didn't need to hear it back, he didn't want their relationship to be a memory of lies. He had accepted it, that Harry Styles didn't and would never love him. 

 

The two of them eventually parted, Louis sat on the top of his bed, the bed sheets up to his chest as he watched Harry dress himself in the clothes from the night before. Louis was in his own head, wondering how he should act when he arrived on set today, whether it was even appropriate to talk to Harry or if that was too far. So many questions running through his head that he didn’t even notice that Harry was fully dressed and sat beside Louis on the bed. 

 

They looked at each other and Louis had to hold in the emotions that were attempting to push out of him, it was like a build up, his chest heavy as it hit him. He felt so silly, so dramatic, as though he really was a character in a film. The way he was acting wasn't normal, people didn't act this way. Not in real life. So why was he?

 

Harry reached a hand out, pulling a loose hair from Louis’ face and then cupped his cheek. Louis moved into it, he closed his eyes as he reached a hand up to cover Harry’s, keeping him close. He opened his eyes that were now blurry with the inevitable tears that would either flow in front of Harry or would spill once he had left.

 

"Are you sure there isn't anything I can do to change your mind" Harry asked, in one final desperate attempt. Louis shook his head, his eyes never reaching the false smile he was portraying. "It's not fair" 

 

 

“Just give me some time” Louis sighed into Harry’s touch “Once I’m over you, married and with four kids. Then I’ll be able to see you again” 

 

“Four kids?” Harry asked, his smile small. 

 

“Yeah, or five, I don’t know. Me and my future husband will decide that” Louis joked, his eyes sad. 

 

“Don’t forget the dog Lou, that’s vital” Harry added. 

 

Louis smiled and nodded, he reached up and brought Harry’s hand to his lips, placing a soft kiss against it. "We had fun at least"

 

"So much fun. I don't think I have ever felt as happy and content as I did when I was with you, Lou" Harry admitted, his thumb swiping at Louis' bottom lip. "But, I suppose we'll have to wait a while until you have your husband and kids, then we can feel this all over again"

 

Louis snorted "What? Spend a morning together after having sex? Don't think my future fictional husband would be too happy about that Harry" 

 

Harry shrugged "He'll just have to deal with it. I was here first. I was your first real love, he's just second best"

 

"You're awful" Louis shook his head fondly.

 

 

“I should go, I’m due on set before you” Harry said through a heavy heart. He pulled his hand from Louis' grip and placed it on the bed beside them, his eyes were heavy as they looked at Louis. But eventually, he stood to his feet, his legs telling him to stay where he was. 

 

“Yeah, of course” Louis nodded, he raised his knees to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. 

 

Harry nodded, he reached his hand out to take Louis' in his own, his finger tips playing with Louis'. He took a deep breath and began walking away, his fingers slowly pulling from their touch and Louis watched their hands with weak eyes. 

 

“Bye Lou" Harry stated. And that was that. 

 

Louis watched with blurred eyes as Harry exited his room, he awaited the noise of the door closing and then he exhaled a heavy breath. He sniffed, the single tear he had attempted to keep inside, fell, singly tracing down the edge of his cheek. He looked around at the empty bed, messy sheets and little trace that Harry had even been there. 

 

“That’s it” Louis whispered, to no one but himself. "It's done" 

 

No more secret rendezvous. 

 

**** 

 

There is now way to even fathom how to describe the feeling you have when you’re torn from the one person you have laid your heart on a plate for. Most would find comfort in the idea of never seeing said person, avoiding any contact, drifting away with the possibility to cope. 

 

When feeling in such a way, the days seemed to just fly past, almost like you are on autopilot through your days. 

 

Louis’ attention the following days after his and Harry’s encounter was solely on his movie and distracting his mind by spending time with his friends. He would sit idly with his three friends at the hotel bar, the world going on around him while he simply existed. Niall had told him multiple times how ‘ _ dramatic _ ’ he was being. But, he would never understand, Louis didn’t think anyone would. And the times when Harry would saunter into the hotel, their eye contact brief and heart wrenching, he would feel the pain all over again. 

 

It was hard to explain losing someone who was never truly yours.

 

The days seemed to fly, the final scenes flowing effortlessly due to every one's excitement to finish this early with plenty of time to spare. Meaning each of them would have a few days in Paris completely paid for, which was exciting for all. Louis had distracted himself when it came to Harry's scenes, he would ask Sarah to take over whilst he sauntered off to busy himself with something else, ignoring the look on Harry's face as he watched Louis walk away from day after day. But it was easier that way, Louis wanted to find anything and everything possible to distract himself from Harry. No matter what.

 

Which lead him to invite Aidan to set most days, probably the most selfish of ideas, for all of them. He was using Aidan as a rebound to some extent, somebody there as company, to put an arm around him when he needed it, listen to him while he was stressed and just be a constant in this fucked up life he was leading at the moment. Replacing Harry's role in his life. He knew how fucked up it was, he ignored Niall's knowing looks, his snide comments, he didn't care, he was doing what he thought was best for him. 

 

But, he still noticed Harry. On the final day of filming, as Harry's final scene came to an end and the cast and crew all stood around to thank one another for their hard work. As the Author had flew in for a visit, he was thanking Louis personally, for his dedication and hard work and all the while, as Louis hid beneath Aidan's arm, he could feel Harry's gaze upon him, staring at him with content. And when he turned to look, to know if he was just imagining it, he felt it all. Harry had been staring at him the entire time, every time Louis name was mentioned he would close his eyes, as though he was taking it all in. Harry's speech was even harder to listen to, Louis wanted to run, cry or do anything to get away from the situation. 

 

_"I'd like to thank Louis. He has been one of the most amazing director's I have ever worked for, his visionary and talent exceeds him. I'm thankful for everything I have learnt along this journey, including more about myself, which without Louis' help and support I would never have understood. Along this journey I have learnt to acknowledge the people around me and their struggles rather than focusing solely on myself, I have learnt that there are some amazing people in this world, including everyone here. The world isn't all bad, although at times it seems it. But, I am mostly grateful to have met Louis. I may have been hard work at the start of it all, but its safe to say that he has changed me into a better person. The lesson's I have learnt from Louis will stick with me forever, I could not be happier to know that not only have I gained the respect of one of the worlds most talented Director's but also gained a friend that I will cherish for the rest of my life..." Harry said, his voice choked throughout the speech. He turned to look Louis' directly in the eyes and Louis couldn't look away "So, thank you to Louis Tomlinson. You will forever be in my heart"_

 

Louis knew that once the set had wrapped up, there was no need for him to spend any time with Harry at all. Which was sad in some sorts, even though he had avoided him at all costs, not being able to feel the energy he radiated around the star would be a loss. 

 

That evening, he had joined the three boys for celebratory drinks before Louis would be the only one left who would be stuck in his office for the remainder of the time in Paris, dealing with everything that came behind the scenes of making a movie. The wrap party would be back in London, a few weeks after they arrived home, which meant the real celebrations would conclude then. So for now, this was enough, although he wasn't in the mood for drinks, celebrating or doing anything for that matter. And when Zayn announced that Harry was going to join them, Louis wanted to sink into the seat he was sat in, wanting the world to swallow him up and save him from the situation it had evidently thrown him into. 

 

When Harry arrived, it was hard for Louis to look anywhere else. Due to the fact he stumbled his way through the Lobby, having obviously been drinking before he had joined the boys. He was wearing his flamingo shirt, one of Louis' favourites, only two unnecessary buttons actually latched whilst the shirt fell open, Harry's swallows peeking out beneath the soft cotton material. He was radiant.

 

_Louis picked up his drink, attempting to hide behind the ridiculously colourful cocktail that Aidan had bought him as a celebratory drink. He sat back in his seat, his thigh resting against Aidan's, mainly for some sort of support in this god awful situation._

 

_"Alright lads!" Harry belted, his voice loud and slurred as he spoke through a drunken giggle._

 

_"Are you smashed?" Niall asked, amused. He slid over on the double seat he was occupying for Harry to sit down. Which he did, very boisterously, like he had jumped onto a trampoline rather than a sofa seat. "You stink of Vodka, who have you even been drinking with? Haven't the rest gone for dinner tonight?"_

 

_Harry nodded, reaching for the drink in Niall's hand. He took a sip of the Vodka and Coke "I was with a friend. I went to meet him after the final scene"_

 

_"That was at like four, have you been drinking since then?" Niall asked. And Louis glanced at the clock on the wall as Harry nodded. He was now nine, meaning he had been binge drinking for five hours. Which explained the state he was in._

 

_Harry hiccupped "I'm bored, does anyone want to go out tonight?"_

 

_"We're alright mate" Zayn laughed, amused by the state of Harry. They had become quite close since Zayn arrived on set, Zayn was constantly texting Harry, talking a load of absolute shit with each other like they had been friend for years. "How about we stay here?"_

 

_Harry turned to glance at Zayn, a drunken sloppy smile spreading across his face "Sure thing, sugar plum"_

 

_"I think you might have had enough mate" Aidan chimed in and Louis actually froze. He tensed even more as he watched Harry turn to look at him, a sour glare in Aidan's general direction. "You're already smashed"_

 

_"Who the fuck even asked you?" Harry spat back "Was I talking to you or was I talking to Zayn?"_

 

_"Well, you were talking to Zayn but..."_

 

_"Exactly. So, fuck off, yeah? God, you're so fucking boring, honestly I've never met someone as dull as you"_

 

_"Harry..." Louis said, saying his name for the first time in what felt like forever. And Harry turned to look at him, his eyes softening as they reached Louis' blues._

 

_"He's got a point" Niall said, obviously wanted to add fuel to the fire "You are boring, mate" he added, clapping Aidan on the shoulder._

 

_Louis' eyes clung to Harry's hoping he could stop him from saying anything further, holding for as long as he could. But it was useless, Harry shook his head like he was disappointed in Louis for some reason or another and turned back to Aidan._

 

_"You're really fucking boring" Harry added._

 

_"What is your problem with me?" Aidan asked. He turned to Harry, finally having enough of the bitter comments he had receiving from Harry since he got here. "Seriously. You haven't even had a proper conversation with me and you've done nothing but treat me like shit, I've ignored it for Lou's sake but it's getting silly now. If Niall or Zayn had said what I said, you'd have laughed it off"_

 

_"I didn't ask for your fucking life story, pal. Why don't you stick to hiding behind Louis, yeah?"_

 

_"Why don't you get the fuck over him!"  Aidan bellowed._

 

_And suddenly all eyes turned to Louis, all except Harry's who were pinning onto Aidan like he was ready to pounce. Louis had seen something like it before, on a David Attenborough documentary. When the predator would stalk its pray and their eyes would fall into such a short eyed glare it looked almost demonic. That was Harry._

 

_"What the fuck are you on about now?"_

 

_"You know what. We all fucking do. Look, I don't give a shit what you feel for Louis, yeah? He obviously chose to spend time with me over you, so why don't you back the fuck off? You don't need to be a dick to me because you can't get what you want"_

 

_Louis felt so small, like he was sinking into the cushions, eyes were going between both Louis and Harry, the other two boys knowing much more than what Aidan did. Louis couldn't speak, he didn't know who to defend, who to speak for, because he was so lost._

 

_"You think that is what happened?" Harry laughed bitterly, placing the drink onto Niall's lap. " You're so far from the fucking truth mate, I promise you that. Why don't you have a little think about yours and Louis' little thing you have going on, think about why he's been so fucking weird since he and I haven't been speaking. Maybe then it'll make sense in that fucking thick skull of yours"_

 

_"Yeah? How about you think about the way you're speaking to me now and wonder why Louis has stopped hanging about with you, you're awful. You're the rudest most conceited person I have ever met, you give celeb's a bad name. Louis clearly has sense to get away from someone like you"_

 

_"Louis, tell your little boyfriend to shut up" Harry said, rolling his eyes._

 

_"He's not... He's not my boyfriend" Louis stammered._

 

_"No, I'm not. But I was, Harry. That's something you'll never understand, will you? How it feels to fucking love someone. Because the only person you fucking love is yourself" Aidan spat._

 

_"Enough" Louis shouted, standing to his feet. He shook his head frantically, his hands reached up to pull at his hair. "That's enough. Do you realise how pathetic this all sounds? Stop talking about me like I'm not fucking here"_

 

_"Louis, I'm sorry, he just-"_

 

_"No" Louis cut Aidan off, he didn't need this. Not now. "I can't be fucked with all this bloody childishness, you're all acting like a bunch of fucking toddlers. Arguing over what? Me? That's as childish as it gets" Louis swerved his body through the chairs to escape from their little area, he held his hand out to Niall who had kept his key card in his pocket after he had went up to Louis' room earlier in the day. "Card, please. I'm going to bed"_

 

_"C'mon Lou, we're meant to be celebrating" Aidan said, desperately attempting to keep Louis there._

 

_"No" Louis said, his eyes daggering into both Aidan and Harry. "We're meant to be celebrating the end of my fucking movie. I didn't come here for this bull shit. I'm going to bed"_

 

_It was Harry who spoke next, inching forward in his seat "Louis, I'm sorry"_

 

_"Save it" Louis shook his head, his voice evidently smoother once his attention drew to him. "I just can't cope with this anymore"_

 

That's how Louis came to the decision he did, along with dragging Niall with him.

 

He left Paris the next morning, without a goodbye to anyone. He needed to focus on himself. He had sent a group email out to the cast and crew, thanking them once again and confirming he would see them at the wrap party. He avoided any contact with anyone but Niall, not bothering to tell Harry or Aidan or Zayn who were clueless. 

 

He wanted to be at home, in the comfort of his own home. He could finish everything off there, away from any distractions. 

 

He sat on the plane, Niall at his side, his headphones in his ear as he listened to all of the songs Harry had recommended to him and was lost within the view outside his window. It was such a big world out there, so much to see, so much to do and so much more than just Harry Styles. He just needed to sit down and figure out what it was. Alone. 


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Recommended songs to listen to while reading ! 
> 
> Ariana Grande - Thank you, Next.  
> Chastity Belt - Different Now.  
> Tame Impala - The less I know the better.  
> Kings of Leon - Waste a moment.  
> Kasabian - Fire.  
> Gossip - Standing in the way of Control.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was genuinely exhausting to write. I'm trying to portray the characters as I want them to come across however I don't want the storyline to be obvious as well. I just hope this chapter is as good as I hope it to be.
> 
> I have decided to extend the story, I have had an idea which I think would be perfect for the two characters. It is only an extra two however the story ending will be extended until the 6th January. After that I wont be upload due to returning to work. 
> 
> Let me know what you think in the comments!! x

Louis was sat across the table with a bunch of men in suits, bickering over a bunch of paperwork that he had absolutely no interest in whatsoever. He had been sat around this table, in this meeting for the past hour and a half as the people higher up than him discussed his work as though he wasn't there.

 

The worst part of being the Director was that even though you are ultimately in charge of creating the movie, responsible for the production and the final edit. There were still those people that were higher than you, who hadn't spend a single second on set, did not care much for the production, all they cared about was the Box Office Revenue and whether or not they would be scoring their next million in the bank. No care for the art of acting, creating and developing. A bunch of old men who celebrated others success. 

 

He had been back in London for three weeks, he was sent the final edit of the movie only a few days prior to this meeting which was a real close call. He genuinely thought that after all their hard work, it wouldn't have been finished in time. But, his editors surprised him and saved him all at once. 

 

The time he had at home was spent consoling himself while hiding away in his office at home or lounging about on his bed re-watching the same romantic comedy movies, while stuffing his face with everything he could find. It definitely beat being in Paris, with people he would rather stray ten feet from. 

 

The past three weeks of Louis life were hard to recap. 

 

There was the first day he was home, Niall had dropped him off at his apartment so he could settle back in and get some work done that he was now behind on thanks to his spontaneous departure from Paris. He found himself sat on the edge of his bed, his laptop on the floor in front of him and his eyes staring at the shirt that Harry had left some time ago. It was his yellow lace one, the one he had kept reminding Louis to bring in to work for him, but Louis had forgotten so many times. He liked the way it hung in his wardrobe, like it belonged there. He spent two long hours, staring at this yellow shirt, all up in his own feelings before he eventually hid it away in his sock draw, if he couldn't see it he couldn't be reminded of Harry.

 

Or, so he thought. It was only half an hour later, when he was wrapped up in watching the final scenes of the movie, his cup of tea in hand when he glanced at his phone that was laying on his bedside table. He had forgotten that he had placed it on silent when he had first came into his room all those hours ago, he couldn't believe the amount of notifications he had piling up on his phone screen. He should have expected it really, he had just left everyone back in Paris to deal with his utter desperation he needed to get under wraps.

 

He grabbed his phone, replacing the empty spot with his mug of tea. His thumb scrolled through the notifications, he ignored the countless emails. He could deal with them later. His eyes however did hook onto the string of text messages. He should have known that his friends would text. Luckily, Zayn's was easy enough, Niall would have told him about it. A simple ' _hope you're okay mate. i'll call when im back in London. x_ ' a simple but effective text. No prying. It was Aidan and Harry's names that stood out. He wasn't entirely sure if he wanted to read them at all or if he wanted to throw his phone at a wall and blank out any distractions. 

 

But, he was as desperate as he could possibly be. He may have eloped across the ocean, but Harry Styles still pulled on his heart strings despite it all. His thumb hovered over the notification for a few minutes, he was scolding himself, he should have blocked Harry's number the minute he left the hotel. The idea of getting over someone was by disconnecting from them entirely. He clearly didn't understand that memo. 

 

He eventually pressed onto his and Harry's text thread. 

 

_I tried to call last night when I got to my room. I'm sorry Lou, I was drunk, I wasn't acting like me. I'm sorry I acted that way. Hope you're not too mad at me. Always, H.x_

 

 _You left?_ Louis read and his heart dropped, he closed his eyes, preparing himself for the string of texts he had received after that. He didn't know if he could face it. He felt like a class A drama queen, running away like he did. Especially without bothering to say goodbye, he could have done that, he really could have. But at the back of his mind he asked 'Why should I?' and that was enough for him at that time. 

 

_I knew you had a thing for the dramatics Louis, but leaving? I cannot believe you just left, you didn't even say goodbye to me Louis. I know we said we'd leave things there that morning but you spent the last week of filming ignoring I existed, do you know how fucking shit that felt? and then every day I would have to come into work to see Aidan attached to your hip all the time. It wasn't fucking fair Louis and you know that. And now, despite everything, you decided to run away. All because you got upset because I was angry last night. But can you fucking blame me Louis? I'd lost my best friend completely, you have to understand I wouldn't have been absolutely fine about it. You didn't even stick up for me in front of Aidan either, that's what hurt the most._

 

_You know what? Yeah, have it your way Louis. Like it has been the entire time, YOUR WAY. This entire time you never stopped and asked me how it made me feel, you only thought about yourself. It doesn't matter if I couldn't give you exactly what you wanted Louis, we still had something, even if I don't understand it yet. And you completely ignored that. I hope running away from it all was worth it for you, I hope you realise and sort out whatever it is you're looking for. I'll see you at the wrap party or not, I don't know. You might not bother coming because you just can't 'face it'._

 

It was hard reading the words Harry typed, he could feel all of the hurt Harry must have felt as he text them. It would take him a lot to talk to Louis that way, he had always spoke to him like he was the best person in the world. Something Louis took for granted. And as he re-read the texts, he forced himself to imagine the Harry he first met, the vindictive and horrible version of him. Attempting to remember how much he hated him. He needed to, for his own sanity. 

 

And then, in that very moment. Louis made a decision. e deleted the text thread, he blocked Harry's number and Unfollowed him on Twitter, all within two minutes of reading the texts. He needed to do this, he was sure of it. Instead of thinking about it too much. He quickly opened Aidan's text ' _I'll be home in a couple days, i'm guessing you ran off back home. Shall we say Dinner? Monday night_ ' And without thinking too much into it, he typed the words ' _Sounds perfect_ ' and that was that. Or so, it was supposed to be. 

 

The first week post-Harry went quite smoothly, considering he had removed all knowledge of Harry from his life to some extent. He had finished his final notes and sent them over to the editor for their final edit. He had found time to sit and speak with the Author, describing the imagery he has created over the course of the movie and accepted his praise. He had managed to completely change around his apartment in two of the days, he had decided very all of sudden that he needed a change and a huge one at that and for some reason he chose on changing his entire apartment layout. He dragged Niall along with him who only found the entire cascade rather bizarre. Niall commented on everything Louis picked in Ikea ' _That's a bit too yellow, don't you think?_ ' ' _Do you really need four abstract paintings?_ ' _'Why the fuck would you need two bright green sofas?_ '. Louis took no notice, he decided the new him was a bright person, _new Louis_ was fun. 

 

Inevitably, after he and Niall had painted his entire living room a pearl white colour and placed a bunch of mix match, rainbow coloured furniture into it, he second guessed his idea. It looked like they walked into Willy Wonka's chocolate factory, minus the chocolate and only displaying the bright candy like colours he wasn't sure on his choice of the green sofas, but eventually, mixed with his duck feather bright turquoise cushions, he found a love for them and eventually, so did Niall. _'It's weird as fuck, but I don't hate it'_

 

Aidan and Zayn arrived back in London by the end of the week, the two of them and Niall had all came to Louis' apartment for a 'boys night' as Niall described it. He attempted to keep things light with Aidan, however Aidan had other things in mind, including touching Louis at every available moment. Hugging him at every chance he had, his arm around his shoulders, fingertips grazing over his back, kissing his cheek. It was strange, but Louis didn't hate it. He couldn't help it, he was an attention whore and right now Aidan was giving him exactly that. Zayn went on to explain how _He who shall not be named_ , had managed to secure him an art show in Italy in a few months and how fucking excited he was. Louis loved it, seeing Zayn so excited for his future and having such a huge thing coming up but knowing the _He who shall not be named_ had arranged it sent tingles across his body, this was the first time _his_ name had been used since Louis had got home. 

 

Then there was the second time, Louis was sat at home with Niall and Aidan. He and Aidan were sprawled out on his three seater, Louis was laying against his chest and his eyes were on the episode of Black Mirror they were watching, attempting not to relate it to _He who shall not be named,_ at all, even though it was his favourite show. And that's when Niall read out an article that Harry was in.

 

"Listen to this... Harry Styles arrested near his home in Downtown LA after an altercation with a member of the public. It is known that Mr Styles was under the influence, some witnesses described the scene as 'saddening'. This is not the first time that Styles has been seen under the influence in public, is this a cry for help? Is he drinking his sorrows? Sources say He and Kendall Jenner remain together despite the cheating allegations only a month ago" 

 

Louis attempted not to allow the words Niall spoke affect him, but how could they not? His heart pulled for him, the guilt he felt was another level. He avoided seeing the picture that Niall attempted to show him, he couldn't face it. If he wanted to remember Harry, he wanted to remember him for the night and morning they spent together not for the person he was now. Whoever that person might be. 

 

The remainder of his time in London continued quite the same, ordinary. He spent time with his friends, relaxed and slowly found himself not relating everything he saw or said to Harry. Eventually, half way into his third week back home he actually began to laugh again, properly. He and Niall up to their same old tricks, binge watching movies, eating countless amounts of takeaway food and enjoying every second. 

 

He had arranged to go home on the weekend, that was what he dreaded most. His mother. He loved her, he really did, more than anything. But he also knew how knowing she was, how she could sense something with Louis the moment he stepped through the door. If he even looked at her a certain way she would be able to tell him exactly what had happened to him that morning and lecture him on how to cope with it. She was a special one, she really was. 

 

But first, he had this meeting to go through. The final meeting before the push for release date.

 

"It's fantastic, Louis. Better than I could have ever imagined myself" John, the author praised from across the table "I'm fine with us pushing this for release as long as everyone else is okay with it?"

 

"I've got to ask..." A member of the production team slid his chair closer to Louis', Louis watched with a frown as the stranger leaned against the table beside him "What was it like working with that dickhead?"

 

Louis backed off in his seat, sliding away to create some distance "I don't know who you're on about. My cast were all fantastic" He quickly defended, averting his gaze back to John across the table.

 

"C'mon, you can tell us. We're the ones who bloody hired him anyway, we knew how much trouble he was. Did he cause a lot of grief on set?"

 

"No one was trouble" Louis corrected, completely done with this conversation already. He glanced at the ugly bald older man prying for gossip "I can assure you, I had the best cast I possibly could have worked with. No one was trouble, everyone worked together fantastically. So whoever you thought was a pain, was not" 

 

"I know you're just defending him" 

 

"Whatever, so, are we all good? When's the trailer being released?" Louis diverted the conversation. 

 

"Next week, we'll release it on the 15th, the day after your wrap party. So we'll start arranging interviews for you and the two main characters, we already have one lined up for the 18th, if that works?"

 

"Great. Just email me the details, if you don't mind? I have somewhere I need to be"

 

"Thank you again, Louis. And please get back to us on the movie ideas we have proposed to you, they are there ready for your disposal as soon as you make the call, okay?"

 

"Yeah, yeah, that's fine. Thanks for your time" 

 

Louis' drive back to his hometown was idyllic, the further he drove himself from the big city the more at ease he became. He was driving past endless countryside, seas and seas of pure green. It was nice to have some time to himself as well, ever since he arrived home, to not much surprise Niall had been at his side the entire time, not a day passed without him attached. Except today, he was free. For now anyway, as in only another forty minutes he would be back home, surrounded by his Mum and Sisters, dreading it as much as he was, he needed it. The reminder that there is much more to life than his silly dramas and his career, especially with his family waiting for him at the end of every shoot. 

 

When he arrived, it was much the same. His littlest sisters ran over to him, engulfing him hugs, knocking him to his arse, Lottie pretended she wasn't too bothered whether her brother was there or not but Louis knew she would find him later, when everyone else wasn't around and pour her little heart out to him, throwing all of her problems at him, louis loved it, being the big brother, it came with responsibilities. Fizzy on the other hand, lobbed a bunch of loose confetti over Louis as he entered the kitchen, a chorus of 'Congratulations' filled the air. Louis glanced down at his confetti covered clothing and then at his mum with a laugh, she smiled wide, like she couldn't have been any happier than right in that moment. She held her arms out and Louis practically ran into them, embracing himself into the most needed 'mum hug' he could have asked for. 

 

"My successful baby, I'm so proud of you" She bubbled, kissing Louis' cheek repeatedly. "Little angel" 

 

"Stop it" Louis giggled, shaking his head away from her grasp. She held him at arms length and smiled, a content sigh falling from her lips. "Shall we have a cuppa?"

 

"I think we should" 

 

His youngest sisters ran off, they had friends round the house, so they were busy playing in the garden, jumping away on their trampoline with their family dog running around at the bottom barking at them. His mum had told them to stay outside, considering if the girls friends realised that Louis was here, they would be dribbling over his feet with their god awful girl crush. Fizzy excused herself, she had to be at Sixth Form, she was the smart one. Louis wasn't the only one who said it, everyone did, it was a fact. 

 

Which left Louis, his mum and Lottie. Louis stood by the double glass doors, his tea in between both of his hands as he watched as his sisters playing. His mum and Lottie were sat on the sofa behind him, watching an episode of Good Morning Britain. 

 

Louis was so content, he felt so comfortable and happy at home. It was strange, no matter what happened in his life, how crazy it got or how confused he was. He would come home and it would all wash away, like that life didn't exist and the only one that lived was the one he had here, back at home. He sighed, bringing his mug to his lips to sip on the hot tea, he turned around to glance at the TV and then back down at his mum and Lottie. 

 

"So, tell me, what have I missed?" Louis chirped, walking through the room to the sofa opposite them. "I'm sure I've missed a lot, I always do"

 

"Not a lot" Lottie shrugged, her fingers playing with the ends of her now pink hair. "The twins started year seven, fizzy got all A's on her mock exam, I have been promoted, mum quit her job and got offered another job for the local newspaper, writing gossip columns. And, me and my boyfriend broke up. So not much" 

 

Louis stilled, his eyes furrowing as he glanced at Lottie "That sounds a little more than not much, love. Bloody hell, I've missed it all, ain't I?" 

 

"No different that usual. You're busy Louis, we get it" Lottie said, matter-of-factly "It's no big deal"

 

"I beg to differ. I feel like I miss everything. Sometimes I come home and don't even feel like I'm apart of it" Louis admitted. And Lottie snorted a laugh.

 

"Oh, stop it will you? You're not playing the _Oh woe is me_ act Louis. You're always a part of this family, you're just off being successful and that's fine. You come home when you can and you always call, what's the issue? Stop acting like such a debby downer and chin up" 

 

"Bloody hell" Louis scoffed, eyes flickering to his mum "She's got a mouth on her, aint she?"

 

"Takes after her big brother" His mum smirked. "Anyway, we would have told you all about it when you were home. But first, we want to hear everything. How was your time in Paris? You didn't say too much when you phoned" 

 

"It was alright" Louis hesitated, not entirely sure how he could explain it. 

 

"It looked sick, I saw all the pictures of you and your mates running riot. Surprised they didn't kick you out of France, to be honest" Lottie sniggered.

 

Louis smiled, fondly, holding his mug at his lips "It was..." he paused, attempting to find the right word "Interesting. Crazy, to be honest. Strangest couple of months of my life" 

 

"Is that why you defaced an art piece?" His mum asked, knowingly. "Yes, I saw. You and Niall are still the idiots you were when you were kids" 

 

"We were bored" Louis confessed "Anyway, Niall did worse. I was well behaved in comparison to him, believe me"  
  


"There were pictures of you and Harry in some café in Paris, I don't know if you saw it? It was on Twitter" Lottie added. Louis peered at her beneath his mug and nodded, no words to reply "Some fan took it, I think. It's a surprise the paps didn't find you, I mean, Harry's the words most famous actor, how you managed to walk around such a busy place without being caught is a surprise" 

 

Louis hummed "Yeah, crazy" he sipped on his tea. He sat up in his seat "Anyway, why don't you..."

 

"What happened?" His mum interjected, her eyes suddenly on him rather than the TV. And Louis stilled. "You're being all weird again. Is this to do with what you said to me on the phone?"

 

"No, i'm fine Mum, bloody hell" Louis quickly defended. 

 

"I wish you wouldn't do that" His mum rolled her eyes, placing her own tea onto the table in front of her. She picked up the remote and paused the TV, she turned in her seat to face Louis and stared at him, wittingly. "Talk to me, what's happened?"

 

"Nothing has exactly happened" Louis implied, trying to avert himself from his mother and sister's insistent glare. 

 

"You can talk about it, mum's already told me everything" Lottie admitted. 

 

"She, what?!" Louis bleated, he shook his head. He should have known his mum would gossip about his personal life, it's what she did best with the rest of the family. "Fuckin' hell, is there no privacy in this house"

 

"No. So, spill..." His mum urged. 

 

"What do you want to know?" Louis questioned, cautiously. Already regretting asking her. 

 

"I told you to do something about it, Louis. I told you to go for it. I guess, you did?" 

 

Louis nodded, his eyes on his mug as his mum continued "So, that's why you're all out of sorts? You've never been very good at pretending that you're fine when you're definitely not Louis. You're definitely not an actor" 

 

"I didn't come home to be insulted" 

 

"You told Harry, didn't you?" His mum pushed. Louis wondered why he couldn't have a mum like everyone else, one that left their sons privacy alone, didn't pry into their life who interject into their love life but he had no hope of that, not with his. "Oh honey, what did he say?"

 

Louis sighed, he didn't want this conversation. This is the exact reason he came to visit, to distract him from it all. "What do you think?" He challenged, his false smile now hidden as his true feelings showed on his face. Practically emotionless. "It didn't work out how I wanted it to. That's it. There's nothing else to it" 

 

"So, you just let it end?" Lottie frowned at her big brother "Wow, you're stupid"

 

"You didn't fight for it?" His mum asked. 

 

"How could I? He was fucking certain of himself before I even told him, there was no changing his mind. The guy's got this defence up all the time, thinks the world is against him. Even the idea of _trying_ wasn't worth it, he preached that he couldn't do it, not to me" 

 

"That's sweet" His mum said, a short smile appearing on her face. "It means he cares at least"

 

"Yeah, well, it's done. It's old news. He's off in LA ruining his life and I'm in England doing what I need to do to get over him. That's just how it is" 

 

"Shame, really. I really liked him" His mum pouted, as if they were having two different conversations by this point. Neither his mum nor sister seemed to be taking him seriously. "He's handsome too"

 

"Yeah, but he's also got major commitment issues, you know he literally can't think for himself. Imagine if we did get together, he would have to ask his management team if it would be okay for us to go on a date or even be seen together in public. It's fucked up" 

 

"He's used to it, you aren't. I think Harry's got a better knowledge of what he deals with than what you do Lou. Have you ever stopped to think why he's so persistent about you two not being together?" 

 

"Yes, because he's adamant that it won't work" Louis echoed "I've said that already"

 

"No" His mum shook her head, both her and Louis' sister glanced at each other knowingly. She turned to Louis again "Babe, he's not doing it to hurt you or make you feel bad. He's doing it protect you. Everyone who has seen you both together can see how much he adores you, it's obvious. You think it was easy for him to turn you down? I highly doubt it, considering when I asked him how he felt about you, he told me you were the light of his life" 

 

"He, what?" Louis quizzed, his heart suddenly racing. 

 

"He told me you were the light of his life. Said he had never met someone who he cared about the way he cares about you, promised me he would look after you, no matter what" His mum admitted. "I only spoke to him on the phone a few weeks ago, he called me to see if I was planning to visit once you got home. We were making plans, that's why I was shocked not to see him with you today"

 

"You've been having secret phone calls with Harry Styles?" Louis wasn't sure how he was supposed to process this, of course, it wasn't surprising that his mum had pried so much into his life that she was on a personal basis with Harry. That was just how she was. But, to hear that Harry had said all of those things only a matter of weeks ago, that's what he couldn't get. "But, when I told him I loved him, he just told me he couldn't, kept telling me it wasn't fair" 

 

"Because the last person he would want to hurt, is you Louis. Think about it, yeah? If he didn't care for you and thought you were nothing but a side piece for him to use when and if he wants, then yeah, he'd probably date you" 

 

"No, because he's closeted" Louis quickly butted in. 

 

"Okay... But, behind closed doors. You know what I mean, stop interrupting me. Anyway, the fact is, he cares about you, he adores you actually and the last thing he would want to do is bring you into the life he's living because he knows how hard it is, he's the only person who does know. He's told you plenty of times what it's been like and you've told me how sad it makes him, so imagine how he must feel having to say no to the person he cares about because he doesn't want them to feel sad like he does."

 

Louis sat back, eyes wide as he attempted to understand what his mum was getting at it. And yes, it made sense, it was an easier way to look at rejection that was for sure. But, no matter how much they justified Harry's actions, it wasn't going to change anything and Louis had finally accepted that. 

 

"There's no point Mum, we've made our decision. I left Paris, I've blocked him on everything, we're not even speaking. That's that" Louis murmered. "It's not because he doesn't want to hurt me either, it's because he can't do it. He doesn't want to be loved and that's okay, I'll always be there for him, no matter what. But right now, I'm coping with it. So how about we change the subject onto something more light hearted?" 

 

"I'm sorry Lou" His mum apologised, her voice softer than before "I didn't want to upset you, I just worry that you're making a mistake. That's all" and Louis nodded, he knew she only did it because she cared. But this time he didn't want to run to his mum for help, he had to figure this one out all on his own. 

 

"Let's talk about the fact I can't find any good looking guys on Tinder" Lottie suggested, holding her phone up. 

 

"Let's talk about the Harry thing again" Louis joked, throwing a cushion at his sister. 

 

***

 

Louis was laying about on his sofa  the night it happened, completely wrapped up in himself. He had spent the night at his Mum's and came home that morning. He was feeling refreshed, even quite happy to some extent. His entire day was spent frantically cleaning his apartment, it was easier when Niall wasn't there to add to the mess every time he cleared it. He spent about half an hour on the phone to Zayn who had left on an abrupt trip to Amsterdam alongside Aidan who tagged along.  The most surprising thing ever, was that Niall was actually working for once, like really. He was at work. He was training for his upcoming Golf Tournament, the PGA Tour which was due to start in around April and seeing as he had spent his whole time off eating his body weight in shit food, following Louis around and doing absolutely nothing productive, his management had called him in to start working asap before he would be rolling down the hills. 

 

Louis didn't mind, he liked the peace and quiet. It was rare, so when he got it, it was like a treat.

 

So, there he was, laying on his sofa, his blanket wrapped around him with a hood on it which was a unicorn (His mum said she saw it and thought of him, he didn't admit he thought it was adorable) and was invested in his movie choice, he had spent his evening watching every movie he liked on Netflix's Romantic movies line up. Already, he had watched Crazy, Stupid Love, Pretty Woman and he was now half an hour into Easy A. A classic movie. Louis had loved it since the day it was released, so witty and funny. A movie he would have loved to work on. As he watched it, he thought about where he wanted his career to move onto. It was hard to imagine himself creating another Romance Movie, not anymore. He could see himself Directing a movie with the likes of Seth Rogen and James Franco in it, something witty. But then again, he didn't know if he was funny enough to be creating a movie with two comedian legends. But even so, it was something to consider. 

 

He was munching on a share bag of Dairy Milk Twirl Bites, okay not just a share bag but the XXL bag, so he was literally eating for around six people at the moment. Ashamed that he had already eaten a third of the big without a second thought, even when he realised it didn't stop him from reaching his hand into the bag for another handful. 

 

Just as he was shoving a handful into his mouth, the chocolate falling literally out of his mouth with his greed, he heard the bell go for his apartment. He frowned, mouth open wide as the chocolate flakes fell from his lips. He couldn't imagine anyone coming up to visit him tonight, considering his close friends were away doing things and his others never came to visit without a phone call. He waited a few seconds, silently, he assumed someone had pressed the wrong bell and finally chewed on the chocolate, his eyes turning back to his movie as he reached for another handful. And that's when it rang again. 

 

He groaned, he shuffled himself up from the sofa, his unicorn blanket hanging from his head. He shoved the handful into his mouth, wiped his hand onto his pyjama bottoms and reached to pause the TV. He couldn't be arsed with this, he assumed it was the bloke that lived upstairs. He had a habit of getting so drunk that he would come into the apartment block and knock on every ones door until eventually he found his own, but it also meant a boring conversation with a bloke who couldn't even stimulate a sentence. 

 

He wiped around his mouth as he chewed on his chocolate, he walked through the corridor towards his front door. The bell rang again and he groaned "Hang on, I'm coming" He attempted to shout, the amount of food in his mouth making it difficult. He reached the door and unlatched the padlock from the top, he turned the key in the lock with struggle, it had became stiff whilst he was away in Paris. He got it free and pulled the door open with a sigh, but it wasn't who he was expecting. 

 

Louis stood, his eyes furrowed, he glanced over their shoulder, confused. He stepped back and his mouth fell agape, not bothered whether his food was quite literally falling from his mouth (disgusting).

 

"I'm so confused" Louis spluttered, reaching his hand up to cover his mouth as he swallowed the chocolate in his mouth. 

 

Standing in front of him, dressed warmly, hoodie, scarf, jacket, gloves, the lot. Appropriate for the UK. Was Harry. Louis stepped back again, assessing the situation and then he started to wonder if he had fell asleep at some point during his movie and this was just a dream, because why else would Harry Styles be at his door? Why would he be in London when he was most definitely supposed to be in LA. 

 

"You're a unicorn" Harry observed. 

 

"You're here" Louis retaliated, frozen in the spot, his hand holding onto the handle of his front door "I'm still so confused" 

 

"Mind if I come in?" Harry asked, glancing over Louis' shoulder into the open living room "Unless you have company?"

 

Louis mused over it, still baffled by the situation, not sure whether he should just kick him out of the apartment building and go back to his binge eating and movie. But, who was he to deny him? Even if he had been avoiding him at all costs. He didn't say anything, he just nodded and stepped aside. Harry smiled and stepped in, as he walked past, Louis smelt the scent of Harry's favourite aftershave. It was like a reminder, a small detail he had tried to forget. But, then there it was, the memory. 

 

He closed the door and nodded for Harry to go into the living room, he walked behind him as he walked through the door. As soon as Harry stepped in, he stalled in his movements, his eyes furrowed as he glanced around the newly decorated room.

 

"You've redecorated?" Harry groused, eyes furrowed as he reached the bright green sofa "Wow. That's... That's bright"

 

"Yeah, I wanted a change" Louis explained, sliding past Harry so he could scatter over to where he had been laying. He began picking up his half eaten sweet wrappers and drink bottles, he moved them onto the coffee table and stood straight to look at Harry "It's bright, isn't it?"

 

"It's different" Harry shrugged. 

 

Louis nodded. Then it was just the two of them, standing at either side of the room. Louis was waiting expectedly, waiting for a reason for why Harry was knocking on his door at eleven at night. He was still sceptical that he was dreaming, so much so, that he subtly pinched his arm in attempt to wake himself up. But, it was no use, Harry was still there, in his living room and standing idly in front of him. 

 

"Do you wanna sit down?" Louis eventually asked, already taking up his own space that he had been sat at that evening. Harry nodded, he kicked his shoes off by the door like he always used to and joined Louis on the sofa, he created some space between them. "So, like, this is weird. Why are you here Harry?"

  
  
"I don't know" Harry admitted, he sat back against Louis' sofa, his arm resting on the arm of it. 

 

Louis sighed, he reached his hand out to rub his eye, he didn't need this right now. "Right?" he breathed out, lifting his head. "So, like, I'm still confused"

 

Harry bit nervously down on his bottom lip, a trait that Louis remembered well. His foot was tapping on the floor, so much so that his thigh was shaking with it. And Louis was concerned, he had never seen Harry this quiet. Even sad, he would have something to say, something to declare, but now, he was silent as can be. That was a worrying sign. 

 

"You're going to have to speak to me mate" Louis speculated, leaning back against the sofa, he raised his feet up onto the seat so his knees were close to his chest. He reached to his back and pulled his ridiculous blanket around himself. 

 

"Yeah, I know, look, I'm sorry" Harry stumbled his words, getting frustrated with himself. He sighed "Maybe I should go"

 

"Don't you dare" Louis warned "You've just rang my bell three times and interrupted my movie, you've obviously got something to say if you've come all this way. Weren't you in LA?"

 

"I was, yeah" Harry nodded to confirm it, he glanced up at Louis "I flew in an hour ago" 

 

"What? You came straight here?" Louis frowned, quizzing the situation. "But, why?"  
  
  


"I'm not coping... Very well" Harry drawled, his voice strained. "with anything. Like, everything is so shit, you know? it has been since the movie ended and... I just don't know what to do. I know I shouldn't be here as well, like, I shouldn't be bothering you, we agreed. But, I tried to call but... Well, you blocked my number"

 

"Yeah. Yeah, I did" Louis breathed out. 

 

"I didn't know what I was doing. I just got on a plane without thinking and came here, it was the first thing I thought of doing. I know you probably want nothing to do with me, I get that, but, you're the only person who listens Lou" 

 

Louis was sceptical, he couldn't help it. Harry was an actor after all, sure, he could usually point out the line between real Harry and his false words. But tonight, he couldn't. Questions running through his head, questioning if this was just a rouse to get Louis to talk to him again or to get him back. Or, if this was real. 

 

"Talk to me then" Louis urged, leaning his head against his hand as his elbow rested on the back of the sofa "I'll listen"

 

Harry sighed, like he was genuinely relieved to hear that. Louis was genuinely surprised he even said it himself, he should have kicked Harry out the moment he came to his door. 

 

"I just... You left Paris, which meant there was no real reason for me being there anymore so I got the first flight back to LA. I wasn't really in the right frame of mind, I guess I was still kinda drunk from the night before as well. I was angry and upset, about everything we went through, it all just hit me at once, do you know what I mean?" Harry asked and Louis' nodded, he knew exactly what that felt like and more. "I can't even remember my first five days back in LA, I met up with some friends and just drank and drank. I don't think I've drank that much in my entire life, then there was people throwing drugs about like it was sweets. I was stupid Lou, I didn't even know what I was doing, I had been drinking for so long... I just said yes and I mean, yes to _everything_ " 

 

"Oh, Harry" Louis sighed, rubbing his hand over his eyes. "What do you mean, everything?"

 

"Don't judge me, okay? I wasn't in the right mind... I just, I know I sniffed a lot of coke, like an unnatural amount. The people I was with, they aren't like real friends, just people I knew that would be up for having drinks with me. I wasn't expecting it to get so out of hand..." Harry admitted. His own hands reaching up to his face, groaning into them like it was hurting him to even speak about it. He pulled his hands down, resting his chin onto the palms "Then I walked home after the fifth day, something in me told me enough was enough. The only thing was, I was fucking stupid enough to walk home at midday, when the whole world could bloody see me. There I was, stumbling through LA, picking fights where I could and telling fans to fuck off. I was mortifying Louis"

 

"So, that's how you were arrested?"

 

Harry sat back against the sofa again, a heavy sigh escaping his lips and he reluctantly nodded. "I didn't start it though. I mean, I was stupidly drunk and I was making a mess of myself. But, this guy came for a fight. He was some pap, wanted to see if he could get something out of me to post online. He just kept using gay slurs, like he knew, he called me a faggot so many times Lou and it just annoyed me so fucking much. I think it was the drugs that clouded my judgement, I hit him and I didn't even realise I had done it" Harry spilled. "I don't even understand why I was arrested"

 

"That's awful Harry" Louis sympathised, genuine pity falling from him as he listened to him.

 

"My mum bailed me out. Which was the most embarrassing thing I've ever had to go through, I mean, what sort of son gets themselves locked up for getting drunk and punching a pap? She was so disappointed in me, it was fucking horrible. And then fucking management got involved, telling me I had breached some part of my contract. Which was fucking news to me! Turns out there is a bunch of things in my contract that I didn't even know about, apparently being drunk and drugged up in public is against the rules. They threatened to stop me acting in any movies next year. I wasn't bothered, so instead, they told me they would release some fucking article about me"

 

"What sort of article?"

 

"Something to ruin my image for a little bit, so I would suffer. They'd fix it later on down the line but they wanted me to feel shit for a while" Harry scoffed "Not like I wasn't already feeling the worst I've ever felt. And now they're releasing information that I've been cheating on Kendall all year with some sex worker, apparently they are paying her thousands just so they can use her name. Fucking stupid" 

 

Louis' eyes were wide, he reached his hand out for Harry, he wasn't even surprised that Harry quickly took it. Closing his eyes as Louis' thumb stroked it "Why would they do that? Surely that's public slander H, they can't get away with that" 

 

"They can Louis. You know that, we've just done a movie about it" 

 

"Fuck" Louis swore, his heart racing. "I don't understand any of this. Sorry, I wasn't prepared for this" 

 

"It's okay. I just didn't have anyone else who I could talk to about it, everyone else has their own prejudgements, you're the only person who takes me for who I am, listens to me like a normal human being. I mean, I tried to talk to Liam and even he said at least its publicity, people are talking about me, that's the good thing. Like, that's my best friend and even he's been blinded by this fucking shit life we live. I just can't fucking do it Lou... It's just not fucking fair. I can't win, no matter what I do. I try and protect people and end up hurting myself, I try and deal with stuff and end up fucking my career up. When can I catch a fucking break?"  
  
  


"I don't know Harry" Louis whispered. He was looking right at Harry but not once did Harry's reach his own, focusing anywhere else. "But, this is just one speed bump, okay? What happened to you, it'll be old news by next week. Over thrown by a new outfit that one of the bloody Kardashian's have worn. You're not going to suffer because you won't let them, that's not who you are. You're stronger than that, you know it" 

 

"Am I?" Harry questioned, a breathless laugh escaping his lips "Because, I don't feel it Louis. You know when you told me you didn't know who you were anymore?"

 

Louis nodded, the memory of that night rewinding in his mind as he replayed the moment in his head. "Yeah, I do"

 

"I know what you mean. I get it now. Because I haven't the faintest clue who I am, I don't think I've ever known. All this time, you've been telling me that I don't make my own choices, I'm living someone else's expectations of my life, you were right Louis. I don't think I've made a real, life changing choice since I agreed to acting. I've had everyone telling me what I can and can't do for my entire life, to the point, that I wouldn't even know what to do with the freedom" Harry wanted to cry out but his voice just croaked, the words spilling like a confession. 

 

"I was just being stupid Harry, I wasn't being completely serious..." Louis began but stopped as Harry's eyes met his, he had never seen a genuine tear fall from Harry's eyes other than when acting and here he was, bubbling up in front of him. 

 

"No you weren't, you were right and you know it. But I didn't listen, want to know why? Because I've been trained to be this stubborn person who doesn't listen to anyone but himself. This is what I mean!" Harry babbled desperately, pulling his hand from Louis' "I'm so fucking lost Louis and I don't know what to do" he stated and then he turned to Louis desperately, a few tears falling loose across his cheeks, louis' heart broke at the sight. "Tell me what to do Louis, please, help me" 

 

"Harry... I can't do that" Louis stuttered, reaching a hand out to cup Harry's cheek "If I tell you then I'm just another person telling you what to do. You need to decide, it's _your_ life"

 

"I just want to run from it all" Harry admitted, he leant into Louis' touch and Lou felt the wetness as the tears streamed from Harry's eyes. It was confirmed, this wasn't acting. Here Harry was, sat on his couch, pouring himself open in front of Louis, raw and real and Louis couldn't do anything. "I just want to get away, you know? I feel like I've _got_ to get away. You know what I mean? I need to find myself, as cliché as that sounds"

 

"I think you're right my love" Louis nodded, he was echoing Harry's emotions now, feeling the confusion and pain that he felt. His thumb swiped a tear from below Harry's eye. "If you need to do that, then you do that. Yeah?"

 

"I can't though, can I?" Harry mumbled "I'm stuck. I'm contracted, I can't just leave"  
  
  


"Harry, are you supposed to be here?" Louis asked and Harry shook his head "You've just travelled to a different country and your management, the world, literally nobody knows your here. You've got the chance to escape for a little bit, you can do it. What can they do? Seriously? Print a few articles? So fuck! You're allowed to act human Harry..." 

 

"I wouldn't know where to go" Harry said, his eyes opening to glance up at Louis desperately "Where could I possibly go?"

 

"You can go absolutely anywhere your heart desires H" Louis encouraged "You just need to point at a map and make your choice"  
  
  


"I can actually do it?" Harry stated, but more questioned. "Like, just go?"  
  
  
"Depends, love. Do you really think you need to do this? Or, is this just a little breakdown? Because, if you're going to regret escaping and getting away then you shouldn't do it, because this could easily affect your relationship with your management and I'm certain it'll somehow be a breach of contract, you need to be certain"

 

"I've never wanted to leave everything behind more than I do right now" Harry confirmed. 

 

"How about I make you a cup of tea, we talk about this properly and find you somewhere to run off to?" Louis comforted, watching as eyes softened and he nodded his head in Louis' hand. Louis smiled, he doesn't know what came over, it was the comforting side within him that he had got off his mum, but, as he stood, he towered down and kissed Harry's head. Whispering "You're going to be okay" 

 

Louis made them both a cup of tea and brought his laptop down from his bedroom, they sat side by side on Louis' sofa scrolling through different places in the world for Harry to spontaneously escape to. It was the most bizarre evening, Louis most definitely didn't expect it. Not only half an hour ago Harry was crying to him, now they were potentially ruining Harry's career. It was a strange turn of events that's for sure. Considering he didn't think he'd have to see Harry until the wrap party and even then, he thought he would ignore him. 

 

"What about the Maldives?" Louis suggested, his eyes widening in awe at the picture on his screen. He was definitely planning a holiday there himself in his head. 

 

"It's too commercial. Someone would recognise me, even if it was another celebrity" Harry shook his head "Too Risky"  
  
  


"What about Asia? Literally anywhere, you have so many places to pick from"   
  
  
"Can't" Harry declined "Too many fans there"  
  
  
"Bloody hell. I thought this would be fuckin' easy" Louis sighed, clicking onto a link on google for  _Best place for a quiet getaway away from tourism and people_ it was most likely their best bet. 

 

They both inched in their seats, eyes focusing on the screen as the names of places popped up in front of them. They both frowned as a bunch of names came up that they had never heard of before. 

 

"Oh my god!" Louis beamed, pointing to the screen "Skopelos!"  
  
  


"What?" Harry frowned, confused. 

 

"Oh, come on" Louis rolled his eyes, turning to glance at Harry and his baffled expression "Mamma Mia was set there!"  
  
  
"I've never seen it"  
  


Louis' mouth actually fell, a genuine disappointment aimed at Harry right now "Wow, get out. Mamma Mia is one of the best movies I've ever watched in my life, the second one is even fucking better... But, I suppose we'll take that off the list, asshole"  
  
  
"I didn't know you were so passionate" Harry snorted, sipping his tea. 

 

"Yes, well, there's clearly a lot you don't know about me mate" 

 

"What about South Africa?" Harry suggested, pointing to the picture on the screen "I doubt I'm going to be hounded there, plus, there's private lodges you can rent, _literally_ in a Giraffe park" 

 

Louis laughed, fondly and shrugged "If you think you're going to find yourself surrounded by giraffe's then sure, go for it"  
  
  
"I've always wanted to go" Harry drawled, he bit down on his lip as he mused over it. Meanwhile, Louis was busy reading up about the Mamma Mia location, genuinely considering running off there to sing ABBA for the rest of his life, find himself a handsome guy and have a kid with three different kids, unfortunately his fun was ruined when he realised that genuinely wasn't possible. "Okay, yeah, fuck it" Harry said, pulling Louis from his thoughts "I'll go there. Let's book it" 

 

"You're serious, right?" Louis deadpanned, unsure whether he believed Harry was literally about to do this or not. 

 

"Yeah" Harry said, already ruffling around his pocket for his wallet. He placed it in front of him and pulled his card from one of the slots, waving it Louis' face "But it has to be the giraffe park" he said, going to give Louis his card, just as Louis was reaching for it, he pulled back again "and I want to be near elephants too" 

 

"Alright David Attenborough, calm down" Louis snorted, snatching Harry's card from his hand. "Passport too, please"  
  
  
Neither Louis nor Harry could believe how that evening had planned out, Louis certainly didn't see it ending this way and he was certain Harry wasn't expecting to come to Louis' apartment and end up booking a break away for tomorrow morning, surrounding himself literally in the wilderness. 

 

"Well..." Louis said, placing his laptop onto the floor by his feet. "That happened"  
  
  
"You're a bad influence" Harry stated, leaning back against Louis' sofa. 

 

"I just want to let you know now, when your management have your head for this, I want no part in it. You're the one who decided to fuck off, not me" Louis warned "But, I would appreciate a picture of the giraffes"  
  
  
"You'll have to unblock me on everything for that, won't you?"  
  
  
"Ah" Louis kicked his legs up on the coffee table "Yeah, probably should do that. I think I was having a little meltdown myself if I'm honest"   
  
  


Harry scoffed "I'd say your meltdown was nearly on par with mine, don't you think? Running away and all"  
  
  


"We're both a mess" Louis stated, stating absolute facts at that point. He wasn't even angry, not upset or anything. Sure, the underlying feelings were still there. That wasn't going to change within a few hours, but he could deal with being around Harry without wanting to rip his heart strings out. But then again, he could be speaking too soon and it also be because he knew Harry was disappearing until their wrap party next week. 

 

"It's why we click so well" Harry admitted. "I still haven't figured it all out. I've been too drunk to figure it all out, really. Maybe I will when I'm with the giraffes"  
  
  
"What on earth are you going to figure out with giraffes Harry?" Louis teased. "All you're gonna find out is that they have really long necks and will eat your breakfast"  
  
  
"Yeah, but they're wise, aren't they? They might help me figure a few things out" Harry shrugged.

 

"Right. If anything, you'll come back painted in yellow with orange spots, claiming that you are _literally_ at one with them, because you went the step over the line, to become one" 

 

"Maybe so. But at least I'll be having the first break I would have had in six years" Harry sighed, leaning his head back "I don't even know what I'm going to do if I come back and I'm still like this, Lou. I can't figure out what it is that's going on with me" 

 

Louis mirrored Harry, leaning his head back and tilted so he could glance at Harry "You're human, H. People go through things, you just need to spend some time figuring it out. You also need to think about what it is you want from life, because even as talented as you are, I don't think it's acting Harry. I think there's more to you than just what everyone else wants you to be"  
  
  


"Maybe" Harry said, surprisingly Louis by how easy going he was. Not defending his career at all "We'll see, won't we?"  
  
  
"We will"   
  
  
It was quiet for a few moments, the only sound in the room being their breathing and then Harry spoke "I've missed you. So much more than I ever thought I would. I missed you when you were in Paris too, it was fucking wild. I hated it"  
  
  
Louis inhaled, taking it in "I don't know whether that's an insult or not, why would you hate missing me?"  
  
  
"Because I just wanted to be with you. And then, you weren't speaking to me anymore and I didn't expect it to change so quickly, you know? That morning was special, then the next thing I know you're avoiding all eye contact with me" Harry recalled "I was so angry with you, you know. I still can't believe you just left, without saying goodbye"  
  
  
"I wasn't in a great place, H. I don't think I had been for some time, I needed to get away from it all as soon as I possibly could. I did actually think about saying goodbye, you know. You were the only person I thought about, but, that would have made it harder" Louis admitted, crossing his arms over his chest "I think I needed this time away from you to get my head straight, I wasn't thinking properly at all in Paris. I was acting desperately. But, now I feel a little more like me"  
  
  
"You seem a lot more relaxed. If I would have turned up on your doorstep four weeks ago you would have most likely hit me, it was a nice surprise that you didn't" Harry snorted, tilting his head so he could look at Louis "Are you over me already?"  
  
Louis smiled softly and shook his head "No, Harry. I'm not"   
  
  
"Right, good... I mean, not good, I don't know what I mean really" Harry rambled "I guess I'm just glad you haven't just forgotten me easily, you know? People have told me before that its easy to forget about me"  
  
  


"Then they're liars, H. Nobody could forget you, ever. Even when you're being a massive dickhead, I still went home raging about you, so I'm sure everyone else is the same" Louis teased. 

 

"I never would have thought we'd be here if I was to be in the same shoes as I was on that very first day" Harry admitted, turning his head to gaze forward "Crazy, isn't it? I used to bitch about you so much to Liam, ever since you received that award. You really pissed me off, you know? I think it's because you just didn't care who I was"  
  
  
"I really didn't. I didn't even know who you were" Louis admitted through a laugh "I thought I was going to end up quitting the movie because of you, because you were that bloody annoying. You just loved winding me up, it was insane. I can't believe that version of you and this version are the same person"  
  
  
"Me neither, I don't even see myself as that person anymore. It's cause of you though, ain't it? Making me all _mushy_ , make me question my entire life, what a fucking wild ride it has been"  
  
  
"It's not cause of me, you dick. It's because of you. I simply pushed you in the right direction" Louis corrected. "Good thing I did, because if that version of you turned up that door I'd assume you were there to murder me"  
  
  


Harry laughs and its the laugh that Louis loved so dearly, so loud and endearing like Louis was the funniest person in the world. It was so contagious, Louis couldn't help but giggle alongside him. Harry was just like a magnet, in every sense. 

 

"You nervous about the release?" Harry eventually asked, brushing his hair from his eyes. 

 

"Nope" Louis shook his head, he had somehow managed to shuffle on the sofa, he was now throwing his legs over Harry's lap like they belonged there. "It is what it is"  
  
  


"Yeah, same. If people love it then that's great but if not, fuck it, you know?"  
  
  
"Preach, Sis" Harry winced, he hated when Louis said that and Louis loved it. "You're definitely going to be back for the wrap party, right?"  
  
  
"You literally just booked my flights Louis, you know I will be. My flight arrives back that morning"  
  
  
"Good. I wouldn't want you to miss it, you were a massive part of it" 

 

Louis pressed play on his movie when Harry didn't reply, it seemed like Harry wasn't leaving anytime soon. Not that Louis cared too much, if he was staying then so be it. He only had twenty minutes left of his movie, then he was definitely going to bed, he was far too tired to stay up much longer. He was getting old. Harry was engrossed in the movie, his hands on Lou's ankles as he inched forward to get a better look at the TV. It was just so blissful, as much as Louis knew it was just a short lived evening of having Harry around, it was comforting. At least he could sleep well knowing that he had helped Harry that evening, pushing his own problems to the back of his mind. 

 

The end credits rolled on the screen and Louis let a loud yawn, his arms stretching over his head as he stretched his body out. He hummed as he relaxed, turning his head to glance at Harry "You staying here?"  
  
  
"Do you mind?" 

 

Louis shook his head, pulling his legs from Harry's legs "No, of course not"  
  
  


"Where's you spare duvet? I'll take the couch" Louis frowned, quite obviously at Harry as if he had just offended him and Harry's eyes widened, his mouth parting "What did I do?" 

 

"You can't take the sofa, you get a bad back when you don't sleep on a mattress. You can sleep in my bed, we're grown ups, I can cope with sharing a bed with you" Louis stated, more like demanded. "Turn off the TV"  
  
  
"Seriously?" Harry asked, baffled "You know, the amount of times we have said that was our last time sleeping in the same bed is ridiculous"   
  
  
"I've stopped worrying about it" Louis said and he meant it. He needed to stop worrying at all. "Come on Curly Bollocks"  
  
  
"Oh, I see, now we're just friends you're going to talk to me like Niall does. Fantastic" Harry snorted, reaching to turn the TV off. He mirrored Louis as he stood up and rounded the couch, heading down the corridor towards Louis' room. "Just don't start hating me like he does"  
  
  


"He doesn't really hate you" Louis admitted, flicking the switch in his bedroom. Revealing his bright yellow sheets, now he had company, he was starting to question his whole 'new me' thing he was so adamant on. "He actually likes you. He's just protective over me, so, rightfully so he thought you were an absolute bellend"  
  
  


"Yeah, I get what you mean. The little Irish arsehole isn't so bad, I guess" Harry said, following Louis' into his room. He stopped as he caught sight of Louis' newly decorated room "Are you like okay? This new décor is fucking mental Louis"  
  
  
"I'm starting to question it" Louis peered round his room, taking in all the different colours. "The bring blue chair in the corner doesn't really go with the lime walls, does it?"  
  
  
"Why would you ever think it would?" 

 

Louis sighed, his fingers reaching to pinch the brim of his nose "I think I need to have a long hard conversation with myself"  
  
  
"Yeah, I think you do" Harry snorted. 

 

"I have a new bed though" Louis said, heading for his draws in search for some pyjama bottoms for Harry. 

 

"That's delightful. Pink, is it? Yellow really matches it" Harry teased, removing his hoodie from over his shoulders. 

 

"I don't appreciate your sarcasm Styles" Louis said, a little 'Ah Ha' falling from his lips as he found the pair he was after. His mum had bought him a pair of way too big pyjamas as a joke, claiming he would grow one day. It wasn't funny. He turned round to Harry holding the Pyjamas in his hands, his hands fell as he saw Harry was now stood in nothing but a T-Shirt and his boxers "Do you even need these?"  
  
  
"I'd fucking love them. I forgot how fucking cold it was here" Harry said, making grabby hands at Louis for them. Louis laughed and threw them over to him. 

 

Luckily for Louis, he had been in his pyjamas since five that afternoon. Not so lucky for Harry who would be laying in bed beside someone who smelt like a mix of chocolate and the pizza he had for dinner that day. 

 

"You can get the light" Louis yawned as he rounded the bed to the other side of the bed. He was suddenly cold, like a gust of ice cold air had hit his room. He quickly got himself under the covers, pulling the duvet up to his neck with a shiver.

 

"You look so tiny" Harry said, a fond smile across his face as he tied the ties at the top of his pyjama bottoms. He reached for the light switch and turned it out, he felt his way across the walls to the bed. 

 

He wrapped himself up under the covers beside Louis, revelling in the soft comfort of a proper cosy bed. The ones in Paris didn't even compare, they never did, nothing compared to your own bed and even Harry could appreciate this. 

 

"So cosy" Harry purred, shuffling to his side with the duvet to his neck, wrapping his knees into his chest. "This beds much comfier than your other one. And in the dark you can't even see your disgusting coloured covers"  
  
  
"You hate them, don't you?"  
  
  
"What were you thinking Louis?" Harry laughed.

 

Louis mused for a second and he genuinely couldn't give a good enough reason "I really don't know, I just woke up one day and decided the best way to deal with my problems was by redecorating my apartment... Oh god, I've made a mistake. As if Niall didn't even try and stop me" Louis sighed, closing his eyes in annoyance "I'm a mess"  
  
  
"Yes, you are" Harry agreed through a gentle laugh "But, I mean, it's unique so that's something?"  
  
  
"You can stop, we are all aware that my apartment is like walking into a mind of someone tripping on acid. You don't need to sugar coat it Styles"   
  
  
"Fair enough"  
  


Louis sighed, shuffling to his side so he could face Harry, well, at least he could think he was, it was hard to see in his darkened room. He almost regretted his pure black, black out blinds he had decided would match his duvet cover. Turns out he was actually completely deluded. 

 

"Hang on" Louis suddenly realised "Have you even got clothes in your London place? How are you gonna pack for your trip?"  
  
  
"I've got a few bits. I can buy stuff out there, really get into the culture and stuff"  
  
  


"Oh, yeah... You've left some stuff here too, by the way. A few shirts, T-Shirts, your comfy shorts, I've hidden them all at the bottom of my wardrobe" Louis admitted. 

 

"How kind of you"  
  
  
Louis yawned "Yeah, I didn't want to look at them. They all had a memory to them"  
  
  
"My clothes?" Harry questioned, matching Louis' yawn. Damn them for being so catching. "Like what?"  
  
  
  
Louis shrugged, attempting to remember what clothes he had actually had of Harry's. "Your grey shorts, the cotton ones. They're here because one night I stayed at your house I spilt hot chocolate all over my jeans and your maid wasn't there to wash them for me, so you gave me a pair of shorts to wear instead, it's a memory because that night you choked on a marshmallow"  
  
  
"That's not a nice memory Lou. I thought I was gonna die" 

 

"You were fine" Louis shrugged it off, thinking of more "Oh! You have your Rolling Stones tee here, the one you've had since you were like eighteen. That's a memory because you wore that the day after we went for dinner together at the start of filming, you came in looking all soft and innocent and it was the first day that you had walked in and I was admiring you rather than hating you. I thought you looked lovely"  
  
  
"That's cute" Harry breathed through a smile "I have a hoodie of yours in my bag that I flew to LA with" he admitted "When I was released, my mum dropped me off at my place and I lay down in my bed wearing that hoodie. I cried in it and all sorts, but it was kinda comforting cause it smelt like you. Is that weird? That's weird isn't it. Fuck sake"  
  
"No" Louis giggled, shuffling his head on the pillow "I get it. I do. I'm glad I could comfort you without actually being there"  
  
  
"Yeah. You know, you were the first person I called when I was arrested" Harry admitted. 

 

"That was you?" Louis gasped, remembering the unknown number that had called his phone and how Niall had told him it was probably a cold caller so he declined it. His eyes widened as the guilt washed him again "Oh my god, I'm so sorry Harry. It was an unknown number, it could have been anyone"

  
  
"You don't need to apologise Lou. I kinda guessed that would be the case, it's no big deal" Harry sympathised. 

 

"I heard about it as well and I didn't even try to reach out to you" Louis voice was small. "That's so shit of me"  
  
  
"No it's not, you didn't know any better Louis. Look, you're here now aren't you? You've let me into your house, you've been so kind to me and way nicer than what I deserve. That's all I could ask for" Harry said.

 

"I guess. I just hope this trip helps you love. I don't want to see you upset like that ever again. It was horrible"  
  
  
"You cheered me up quick enough, didn't you? We'll see what happens Lou. I'm not sure what I'm going to do when I'm back only time can tell. But, can you promise me something?" 

 

Louis nodded, he soon realised that Harry couldn't actually see him so he breathed out a "Yes"  
  
  
"Don't spend the time I'm away trying to get over me anymore, okay? Just enjoy it"   
  
  
"What? Louis asked, genuinely confused. Harry had this thing about talking in riddle so no one understood what the fuck he was on about. 

 

"I'm going away to realise a few things and I think you need to stop forcing yourself to get over me and spend some time thinking about what it is you want too, really. I think good things are coming for us Louis, I just don't know what"  
  
  
Louis sighed "Let's hope so. But okay, yeah, I'll do whatever that is"   
  
  
"I might be gone by the time you wake up"  
  
  
"That's okay. Just make sure you text me when you arrive in giraffe land" Louis mumbled, his eyes closing as he nestled into his pillow comfortably "And don't go finding a south African boyfriend and never come back"  
  
  
"You think I'd be able to stay away from you that long?"  
  
  
"You should" Louis mumbled. 

 

"But, I never would. I always come back to you, Lou"   
  
  


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The entire time I wrote this I listened to the playlist - 
> 
> Indie/Rock/Alternative Compilation - October 2018 (1½-Hour Playlist)
> 
> It was pretty sick not gonna lie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter. 
> 
> The next is gonna pull at your heart strings and make you hate me. 
> 
> I can't wait!

_ Dear Louis,  _

****

_ I didn't want to wake you. So I’ve left you a cliche note they do in those romance movies you love so much.  _

****

_ Thank you for allowing me in to your acid trip house last night, especially considering the way I have treated you and your feelings lately.   _

****

_ I don’t know what I’m going to find out there, surrounded by the giraffes other than the fact I’m  _ _ definitely  _ _ going to end up buying one and having it in my back garden in LA.  _

****

_ I’ll see you in a week.  _

****

_ I’ll be the one dressed like a middle aged man on vacation with his six kids.  _

****

_ Always.  _

****

_ Your Harry. Xx _

********  
  


The first day Louis hears from Harry is the day after he had left. Louis was on hold with Ikea, attempting to return everything he bought and exchange it for a less insane choice. He had been on hold for the past thirty minutes and he was ready to lob his phone across the room and out of the window. Just as he really, genuinely considered it, his phone buzzed against his cheek. He pulled the phone back to see Harry’s name at the top of his screen. He sat up, placed the extremely annoying hold music on speaker and opened the message. 

****

As soon as he saw it, he laughed,  _ Typical,  _ he thought. There on his screen was a picture of Harry at breakfast, beside an open window and right there was a giraffe, his head through the window as he ate Harry’s breakfast. The look on Harry’s face was something of pure joy, like he could not have been any happier than at that very moment, mouth wide, teeth showing and the most impossible gleam of happiness in his eyes. 

****

Just a text to let you know I’m here and I’m never coming home. I’m turning my phone off for the rest of the trip, just so you know. I need to be at one with the giraffes. All the love. H. 

****

Louis smiled fondly, his eyes focused on the picture, it radiated pure happiness. Something Louis hadn’t felt for quite some time, much like Harry. 

****

“Hello sir?” Louis jolted up at the sound of the voice coming through his speaker, the phone from his hand and cursed “fuck” he scrambled to his floor to try and grab it from where the phone had wedged itself under his coffee table. 

****

He pulled it out and reached it up to his ear “Hello?” he blurted “Hello, are you…” he pulled the phone from his ear and gazed at the screen, seeing the call had ended “Are you fucking kidding me?” that time he did throw his phone. 

****

He was sat on his bright green sofa the next day, it was certain, he would be stuck with this for life. There was no going back, he would forever be the weird guy who owned a fluorescent green sofa. Niall had come over, he had a break before he would have to attend a meeting later that day with his publicist, he needed to back some support for his tournaments, seeing as the only people still backing him were a bunch of drunks, idolizing him because of the ridiculous amount of times he had been pictured steaming drunk with a pint in his hand. He was ‘relatable’ for sure, but he needed sponsors. Apparently, being sponsored by Budweiser wasn’t acceptable, so Niall was on the sober life at the moment, much to his distraught. Louis  _ obviously  _ had to drink beer in front of him, just for the pure look of desperation on Niall’s face. 

****

“You heard from Zayn and Aidan?” Niall asked, a grimacing look on his face as he sipped the glass of water. 

****

“Zayn snapchatted me a picture of him in some cafe, blunt the size of his head in his hands. Looks like they're having fun” Louis sat down on the stool that sat facing his kitchen counter, another beer in his hand. “I’m kinda jealous, I haven’t smoked in years”   
  
“Yeah, that’s because if someone sold weed to you they’d release it to the papers. You’d be known as the stoned Director” Niall teased. “Anyway, you’re much funner when you’re drunk instead, weed makes you turn into some lunatic. You just sit and laugh”   
  
“Chicken and Chilli” Louis snorted at the memory, the giggles hitting him. 

****

“Not long till the trailer releases. When’s the actual premier?” Niall asked, sitting opposite Louis, glaring at the beer in his hand like it was a demon ready to possess him. 

****

Louis took that moment to sip the beer back, gulping the liquid with a hidden smirk. He pulled it back with an over exaggerated sigh “It’s still to be confirmed, but they’re rushing it. The estimated date is December 15th”

****

“Not long. Bloody ‘ell. How are you supposed to advertise and promote it in a month? That shit takes months”

****

“Yeah, I know” Louis admitted, leaning back. “Well, I’m not actually obligated to promote it. I have to do an interview a couple days after the wrap party and then I think im scott free, they’ll probably rope Tim and Harry into the proper interviews”   
  
“Lucky you,  _ not  _ so lucky them” Niall snorted. “I heard from Tim yesterday, he’s in Poland, god knows why. But he decided he was off on a break, soul searching apparently. Not sure what he’s going to find in Poland”   
  
“It’s actually pretty beautiful there, we shot there in my last movie. Seems like everyone is off on some soul searching mission after the movie” Louis said, thinking back to the picture of Harry and the giraffe. 

****

“Oh?” Niall shuffled on his seat “Who else is doing it?”   
  
“Harry” Louis stated. 

****

“What? How do you know that?” Niall frowned, he leant forward on the counter.

****

“Did I not mention?” Louis’ voice was visibly higher now, averting his gaze from Niall as he mumbled the next part “Harry came over a couple of nights ago, he stayed the night”

****

“Uhm, excuse me. What the fuck? How the fuck did that even happen? Actually, I don’t even want to know” Niall shook his head, not even surprised. “You weren’t even talking to him Lou”   
  
“Yeah, funny that. He just kinda turned up at my door, we had a conversation and the next thing I knew we were booking him a trip to run away for a little while” 

****

“Where’s he gone?” 

****

“South Africa, he’s staying at a giraffe sanctuary. And honestly, if i mentioned the word Giraffe one more time I’m going to lose my mind” Louis said, he had never spoken about the animal so much in his entire life. “He’s loving it, well I think he is anyway. He text me yesterday morning a picture and  told me he was turning his phone off while he was there. Probably so his management team can’t find him”   
  
“Woah, so he’s literally ran away from everyone? Surely that’s gonna cause some shit for him when he gets home?” Niall asked, genuinely concerned. Louis shrugged, Harry didn’t care so why should he. “He probably needs it, he told me that he’s always wanted to run away somewhere but his management team would never let him”   
  
“When the fuck did Harry tell you that?” Louis quizzed.

****

“When we got drunk that night. We were in some bar and I told him he was annoying and he said he knew, then he started drunkenly rambling about how he wanted to run away, it was all very weird. So, at least we know it’s been on his mind for a while”   
  
“Yeah” Louis agreed, his voice a mere whisper. “I guess so”    
  
“Anyway. Shall we do something tonight when i’m finished?”    
  
“Like what? You can’t drink”   
  
“We’re too old to be drinking all the time, we’ve gotta get out of the habit. Pretending we’re still 21, before we know it we’ll be 30 with beer bellies, wondering when our hair receded from our heads” Niall jokes “How about we go and see a movie? Like, actually get out of the house? I saw that the old theatre is playing movies that are already released. Harry’s movies actually on that list, you know the one when he plays the soldier?”   
  
“Dunkirk? I’ve never seen it, maybe we could go watch that?”   
  
“Sure” Niall nodded.

****

So they do, Niall picks Louis up and they spend three hours in a cinema watching Harry on the big screen. Louis found something magical, it wasn’t just Harry. (although, it was a large part of it). The way the movie is set, is so raw and magical. It shows you exactly what happened from the perspective of the soldiers, the civilians, everyone who suffered. Harry’s screenplay is stunning, for an actor who has only been in movies that based around Coming of age and romance, to see him play such a controversial character was beyond what Louis could have imaged. He played the scared, arsehole soldier quite well - too well, in fact. 

****

He sent Harry a text, although he knew it was off and he wouldn’t read it until he was home. 

****

_ Me and Niall went to watch Dunkirk ! You’re talent is surreal, Harry . Hope you’re enjoying the giraffes ! x _

****

The next day Louis actually leaves the house during the day, a surprise to all considering he had spent most of his time wrapped up in his little apartment eating his body weight in junk food and complaining about his change in furniture. But, today, he was being productive - After days of sitting on his arse attempting to sort his life out over the phone, he had managed to convince Niall to come with him back to Ikea to find some furniture to replace what he had bought. 

****

“I told you that you would regret it” Niall said, an _ I told you so _ , lingering behind it. 

****

Louis ignored him, he lifted his hand up and stuck his middle finger up at him as he lingered in the sofa aisle. “What do you think of that one?” he asked, pointing to the large grey corner sofa. 

****

“Only one way to find out” Niall said, Louis turned to look at him and frowned as he watched Niall aimlessly kick his shoes from his feet. The next thing he knew, Niall was jumping into the corner of the sofa with a sigh. He sat back, spreading his legs across the fabric and rested his head back.

****

“What the fuck are you doing?” Louis snorted, gazing between Niall and his shoes that had been kicked to the other end of the aisle. 

****

“Well, considering your sofa is my second home, it’s only right that I test it out” Niall explained, wiggling his body into the cushion “It’s quite comfy, you know. Try it”

****

Louis frowned, he gazed around him to see if anyone was watching. He was being silly, he knew that the sole purpose for the sofas was to try them out. “Fine” he said, he dropped his bag to the floor and stepped out of his shoes, not wanting to throw them about the place. He walked over to the sofa and sat down on the edge, he nestled himself back into it, it was definitely much comfier than his one he had at home. 

****

“Nice, right? Not a green cushion in sight” Niall said, rolling his body side to side like something possessed. “I love it. You should get this one”   
  
“Will it even fit in my living room?” Louis asked, noting how big it really was. His apartment wasn’t small, but it wasn’t exactly massive either. 

****

“You know, Lou. Buying this sofa would be a good excuse for you to finally move out of that flat, maybe buy a house or somethin’ it’s not like you haven’t got the money” Niall snorted, laying back on the sofa, finally still. “You don’t even like the flat, not really. You’ve got a break for a little bit, haven’t you? Maybe you should start looking at moving”   
  
“I don’t know…” Louis spoke cautiously, biting on the inside of his cheek. He wasn’t great with change, that was his problem. He became accustomed to things quite easily and maybe that was his the biggest thing Louis faced, his issue with a challenge in his personal life. He needed to be as spontaneous as Harry was being right now. He nodded “Yeah, alright then. Let’s get the fucking sofa and start house hunting”   
  
“That’s my boy” Niall cheered, his smile soon faltered as he glanced up at the sales assistant who was now standing in front of them.

****

“My manager has told me to ask you both not to throw your shoes around the store, it’s a safety hazard” She said, matter-of-factly, most definitely not wanting to be there.

****

“Who the fuck is gonna look at a shoe and fall over it?” Niall accused. 

****

“Just like, pick them up, yeah? And don’t jump on the sofas, they’re for display. If you carry on we’ll have to ask you to leave” 

****

“Kicked out Ikea, could you imagine?” Louis laughed wildly. “It’s alright, love. We’ll behave”   
  
“Just because your both famous doesn’t mean you get special treatment, anyway, if you were actually properly famous, you would be buying furniture in some boutique not Ikea in Hackney”   


Louis’ eyes widened as he watched the sales assistant turn her back to them, walking away without giving them the chance to respond. He turned to Niall with a breathy laugh “Did we just get burned?”     
  
“Yes, Louis, I think we just did. Oh well, she’s right. Let’s go find you an even better sofa somewhere else, somewhere expensive and worth of your bank account” 

****

“Good idea, get your shoes Horan” Louis said, sighing as he stood to his feet. He slipped his vans back over his feet and grabbed his bag. He turned, watching Niall as he ran across the aisle on the hunt for his shoes. 

****

“We should tweet about it, boycott Ikea” Niall shouted as he ran back over to Louis. 

****

“What because some girl told us she didn’t care if we were  _ famous _ ?” 

****

“Yeah” Niall shrugged, bending down to slip his second shoe onto his foot. “Why not?”   
  
“Fair point. We’ll do it later”   
  
Louis and Niall ended up in some random boutique furniture shop that Liam had recommended to them where Louis spent far too much money, ended up with a bunch of modern yet glamorous furniture ordered and not a house to put it in. He really needed to stop going on these outings with Niall, he was a terrible influence on him. 

****

They did end up tweeting about Ikea that night, but all they got was an apology. It made the entire thing much more boring that they expected. The later it got, eventually Niall left, being the responsible working person he was, knowing he had to be up early the next day.

****

Louis spent the rest of his night with his laptop on his lap, scrolling through endless house listing around London. He was looking for a house that he would have for the rest of his life, he knew that at a certain age you buy a house and that’s that, you have to imagine yourself growing old in it. But, it was hard for him to imagine himself growing old in any of them, especially because he had no one to grow old  _ with _ . 

****

The days seemed to move on as they would as usual, Louis found himself gearing up ready for the wrap party, in talks with the production company to secure the venue, arrange drinks, everything that the party planner should have been doing but Louis wanted it to be perfect. 

****

He spent multiple hours on the phone to his Mum and Lottie, arranging when Louis would be coming home again, he had arranged to come down the night of his birthday. He could have said the day before so he could wake up at home on his birthday, but, he planned to go out the night before and get so smashed that he wouldn’t actually be physically able to drive until later the next night. He was going to be a mess. 

****

It was a couple of days before the wrap party and a couple of days before Harry came back looking like a giraffe, Louis was at dinner. Zayn and Aidan had got back that morning and the four lads had arranged to meet up that night for a catch up. Louis was reluctant, he had created a name for himself over the course of the last couple of months, he was starting to get a reputation as a ‘Mischievous Director’ due to his actions, the pap’s were on him like a fly to shit. But, he was going to behave tonight, he was sure of it. So agreed anyway. 

****

They were in some Mexican restaurant that they used to come to when they were in Uni, it was a small place, not many had heard of it really. But, they loved it, claiming it as the best Mexican food in London. Which was easy really, every other restaurant was comercial, where as this one was unique, it was actually ran by a man from Mexico who had travelled here over twenty years ago to open this restaurant. Which meant authentic food rather than processed. Most of all, it was the best hangover cure when they would all turn up suffering the world’s worst headaches and drained bodies. 

****

“Zayn got so high one day that his eyes were so lidded he didn't even see where he was walking. Walked right into the river” 

****

Zayn giggled, eyes slightly bloodshot. He was definitely a little high now too “I was wavy man. I was smoking some wild shit” Zayn had always told the boys that when he was high he was the most inspired, a lot of the time before he would start a huge project he would sit and smoke a few joints. It must work because his art was insane. 

****

“You’re fucking high now” Louis laughed, reaching for a nacho. 

****

“You know it” Zayn smiled lazily. 

****

“Well boys, you’ve missed Louis early mid-life crisis. If you walked into his apartment as high as you were that day I’m pretty sure you would have shat yourself, it was like walking into a hallucination”    
  
“What did you do Lou?” Aidan asked, sipping his drink through his straw. Louis had almost forgot about Aidan, it was terrible really. Being away from him did nothing for him, which said a lot on its own. But, he had even forgot that Aidan was sat beside him, more focused on his two friends in front of him. 

****

“I decided to give the place a makeover. People just keep telling me it’s like walking into someones acid trip. I now realise how much of a mistake it was”   
  
“Is it still there?” Zayn asked, hopeful and Louis nodded. “Sick. I’m coming over one night to smoke box your living room out and see how trippy it gets”

****

“Oh, fantastic. Can’t wait for the neighbours to smell it and tell the landlord I’m a stoner. Harry’s already told me it looks like I’ve had an actual acid trip and that’s why I decorated it that way” Louis snorted. 

****

“You’ve seen Harry?” Aidan asked and Louis nodded, again. “Oh, I didn’t realise you were speaking to him still”   
  
“He came to visit, it wasn’t planned” Louis quickly explained, not that he really had to justify it to Aidan. 

****

“Where is H? He has this habit of texting me when he’s drunk and he’s not done it for a while” Zayn asked, pulling a nacho from the plate. 

****

“He’s gone away for a little bit. He’ll be back for the wrap party” Louis explained. “Also, he’s not drinking at the moment. He’s taking a break from it”   
  
“Is that why you ordered an orange juice instead of a gin and tonic?” Zayn asked, glancing at Louis’ glass. 

****

Louis shook his head with a laugh. “No. I’m not that sad. I just have to deal with a lot tomorrow for the wrap party and want a clear head, that’s all”   
  
“Right” Zayn scoffed. 

****

“For once, he’s telling the truth. He was drinking beer around me the other day because he knew i wasn’t allowed to drink, so, you know he’s still being a dick” Niall added in. 

****

“Are you and Harry back on talking terms then?” Aidan asked, diverting it back to that topic. Louis sat back and looked at him, a genuine sigh falling from him. “I mean, like what’s going on with you two?”   
  
“We’re just us. I don’t know what’s going on. We’ve spoke once and the next day he flew off to South Africa and cut off communication from the world, so I don’t really know what to tell you, Aidan” Louis admitted, he picked up his drink and took a sip. 

****

That’s when he thought about it all. How at ease he had been with escaping away from everyone, literally living a week with no one but his best friend, talking to his family and enjoying himself. He didn’t have Harry or Aidan around, nobody to confuse him or cause him any sort of guilt whatsoever. It made sense really, what was going on. He had enjoyed himself by escaping the idea of being with anyone, looking after nobody but himself and that’s how it should be. He shouldn’t have to rely on anyone to help him move on or to cope with everything. He had been single for nearly five years without needing anyone, the fact he had allowed his head to tell him that he needed someone, anyone to help him cope was beyond him. He wasn’t that person and he never had been. 

****

“Harry’s into you” Aidan declared “It’s obvious”   
  
“Yeah, we all know that aidan” Zayn rolled his eyes “It’s not a secret, is it?”   
  
“I’m just saying” Aidan shrugged, defensively. “Just want to make sure Lou knows what he’s doing, is all” 

****

“I know exactly what i’m doing” Louis stated, his eyes flickering between all of the lads as the next part came out “I’m being me. I don’t need to be with anyone. I’m actually really happy on my own, I don’t want to be with Harry and I don’t want to be with anyone else either. I’m finally feeling myself again and that’s all i wanted. A bit of normality”   
  
“So, you’re over him then?” Niall asked, cocking an eyebrow. 

****

“No, I’m not. But, I’m fine with that” Louis realised “It’s not going to stop me being his friend. He might be incapable of giving me what I really wanted because of his career, but at the end of the day he was one of my best friends this year, so if he needs me, I’m there. No matter how I feel”   
  
“Wait, what?” Aidan said, shaking his head as he took the conversation in. “You were into him too? What the fuck? I thought me and you were getting closer, I just... I thought maybe we were going somewhere”   
  
“Come the fuck on Aidan” Niall rolled his eyes. “Even if you and Lou did go on a few more dates, you’d have never got back together. You two were toxic for each other”   
  
“I feel like this is a conversation that Lou and Aidan should have on their own” Zayn added in.

****

“No” Aidan said, leaning back against his chair “It’s clearly public knowledge, isn’t it? I just assumed that they were just  _ friends  _ and nothing more”   
  
“I didn’t mean to lead you on, not really” Louis admitted, all nerves ridding from his body. He didn’t care anymore “I just enjoyed your company. The same as Zayn. Dinner was nice, but it was just friendly, we both know that. I’m not ready for any kind of relationship, I don’t think I could be in one if I am honest. I’m still dealing with my own shit”   
  
“Well, fuck” Niall said “This has put a damper on dinner”   
  
“It’s fine” Louis said, shrugging his shoulders “It is what it is. Aidan’s still my friend, no matter what and that’s what is important” He glanced at Aidan “It’s probably not the conversation we should be having around dinner, I know but I’ve said it now. I hope you understand”   
  
“It’s whatever” Aidan shrugged “I tried. That’s the best I could do. I can’t help the fact I’m going up against Harry bloody Styles. I had no hope!”   
  
“To be fair, It’s about time you got over Louis” Zayn said “I’ve had enough of hearing about him. It’s all you’ve done for years, it’s about time you got yourself on Tinder and found yourself a new pretty little piece”   
  
“This conversation has escalated so quickly” Louis said, very confused. 

****

“Yes, well, we’re living a movie with you as the main character. Things aren't ever normal when it comes to you” Niall laughed. 

****

“It sure seems that way, doesn’t it?” Louis hummed. 

****

His life was so ridiculously comedic that it was a surprise that it wasn’t being broadcasted for the world to see, seriously, this sort of stuff didn’t happen in real life. It was bound to be only Louis it happened to. Wouldn't it? 


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit of whirlwind. I couldn't even give you a playlist to listen to because my head was all over the place. But here's a song that reminds me of Larry every time I listen to it. It's beautiful and true. Much them. I hope you enjoy this chapter. 
> 
> Bruno Major - Just The Same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter ends on a bit of a cliffhanger. I apologise.
> 
> Tomorrow I will be updating the fic twice, like always. I may be able to pull in a third if I'm lucky. The next chapter, all I can say is, It's not what you expect. It’ll be posted late, especially for me. Estimated around 01:00am - 2:00am GMT. 
> 
> As ever, please let me know what you think and what you expect to happen next. 
> 
> Thank you so much for your support, it has been overwhelming and I'm so honoured that people are really enjoying it. Not long until the end, so sit back and get ready.

The day of the Wrap party was looming on Louis. He would be surrounded by all of his cast and crew to celebrate everything they have created over their time together. Wrap parties were always one of the best parts of the movie making process, it was a reason to get as drunk as you possibly could and celebrate all the stress and hard work for what they all got at the end of it. He had T-Minus five hours until the party and he was currently at Westfields with Niall, who had invited himself along for the evening. He was searching for an outfit for the evening, Louis had told him multiple times that the dress code was formal and yet here he was dragging Louis around in search of some High Street branded shirt, rather than wearing one of his more classy, designer ones. 

****

Niall walked out of the dressing room wearing a bright yellow dress shirt with short sleeves, it reminded Louis of his bed sheets. It was ridiculously bright. 

****

Louis glanced up at Niall from where he was sat on the cushion outside “I mean, you’ll definitely stop traffic” 

****

“Urgh, it’s so annoying! If I was Harry, I’d definitely pull it off” Niall groaned, glancing at himself in the mirror, a genuine grimace across his face as he looked at himself. 

****

“Yeah, well, you’re not. So why don’t you try something else, yeah?” Louis urged, noting the time. He had agreed to be at the venue half an hour earlier so he could meet the Author, he had to sign something for the release. 

****

Niall nodded, hiding himself in the dressing room behind the curtain. They were in River Island, a shop that Louis most definitely would have bought all of his clothes from at one point in his life. But now, they both had money, more than they really needed and knowing that there would be paps hanging about tonight, Louis knew that they would slate Niall as soon as they realised who he was wearing. But the little Irish lad didn’t have a care in the world. 

****

“Remind me what you’re wearing” Niall shouted from behind the curtain. 

****

“Burberry” 

****

“Again?”   
  
“No, this one has short sleeves rather than long ones” Louis corrected.

****

“Oh yeah, because that makes all the difference” Niall stated, he pulled the curtain back. Louis looked up. This lads choices in clothes were horrific today. “This one?”   
  
“Niall, the print is literally a bunch of people fucking. It’s small but if someone came close, they’d definitely see it. Can I just suggest unless you’re wanting to start an orgy you try on the next one?” 

****

“Good idea” Niall nodded, closing the curtain again “What’s Harry wearing?”   
  
“I don’t know” Louis shrugged, scrolling through his twitter on his phone “I’ve not heard from have I? He should be home now though, I’m pretty sure his flight came in at like seven”   
  
“I bet you now, Harry will turn up in some ridiculous gucci suit or something even more ridiculous” Niall bet, groaning as he changed in the dressing room. 

****

“Probably” Louis stated, he could imagine Harry turning up in some bright flowery design, something outrageous that would literally  _ only  _ suit him. “He’ll most likely put us all to shame”

****

“The kid could wear a black bin liner and still outdo us” Niall snorted. 

****

This time, when he pulled the curtain open Louis didn’t hate it. He actually smiled, nodding his head, he reached his hand up signalling for Niall to spin around. “Not bad, mate. I’d say that’s the one”   
  
“Fuckin’ hell, finally” Niall sighed, hunching his back. He glanced at himself in the mirror and shrugged, he turned back to Louis “I still need shoes”   
  
“Fuck sake” Louis sighed, dropping his head to his hands. 

****

They were at Westfields for a good two hours before Louis finally managed to drag Niall away from buying a bunch of trainers he most definitely did not need. They had two and a half hours before they had to be there when they arrived back at Louis’ apartment. Niall had taken up his space on Louis’ sofa, idly flicking between the channels on TV. Louis on the other hand was scrolling through his emails, leaning against his kitchen counter. He was responding one after the other, confirming the attendance for the evening as well as sending a reminder email to Harry’s email address to remind him of the time. Just in case he forgot. 

****

“You think I should maybe wear something different than my burberry shirt?” Louis wondered, eyes still on his phone. 

****

“Like what?”   
  
“I don’t know. I mean, I have this shirt in my wardrobe that Harry found… I think I bought it and then decided it wasn't for me. But, it’s pretty cool, it’s like skull printed but like it’s sick”

****

“Then wear it, I don’t care what you wear” Niall shrugged. “Fashion means nothing to me”   
  
“That’s a good point. You dress like a middle aged man most of the time”   
  
“I dress like I play golf, Louis” 

****

“Exactly my point” Louis snorted. 

****

Louis eventually chose that yeah, he would wear that shirt rather than his burberry shirt. And yeah, he would have a couple of drinks before they left because why the fuck not? Niall even joined him for a drink, even though he would most definitely be ripped to pieces by his management team once they found out he had been drinking again. But who cares? They were going to make sure that tonight was a good one. No matter what. 

****

They both arrived at the venue exactly half an hour before everyone was due to arrive. Louis had booked the London Party Boat, the most ridiculous choice but it seemed fitting. Something over the top, much like the process for this entire movie. Niall was buzzing the moment he stepped onto the boat, coaxing for the servers to bring the drinks over to him. Louis smiled fondly, sliding past Niall as he caught sight of John the Author sitting at the top deck with a few producers. “I’ll be back in a minute” Louis told Niall as he walked for the stairs.  

****

He had to remind himself that he probably would have to act like he had definitely not been drinking before he got here, because that would be unprofessional. He shook himself as he walked up the stairs telling himself ‘Be normal’ repeatedly. 

****

He reached the top and all eyes turned to him, Louis smiled, his arms open “The party has arrived” he instantly regretted saying that. That wasn’t normal at all. “I mean, Hi”   
  
“Hello Louis” John laughed, standing to his feet. He approached Louis, hand outstretched for Louis to shake, which he did after thinking about it for a second too long. “You look fantastic. What an evening this will be, hey?”   
  
“Yeah definitely, I’m excited to see everyone again” Louis admitted. 

****

“Yes, I assume you are. Fantastic venue choice, by the way”   
  
“You like it?” Louis said, peering around them. The top deck was decorated in fairy lights, lanterns hanging from the wire above their head, he knew as soon as the sky darkened, it would be beautiful. “It’s alright, ain’t it?”   
  
“I’d say so. Shall we get the business out of the way so you can rightfully enjoy yourself?”   
  
“Please” Louis said. 

****

He ended up signing more than just one thing. They ended up spending the entire half an hour going through a few different contracts, mainly due to what he can and cannot say in regards to the movie while promoting, as well as keeping the production process under wraps, including any issues throughout. Which was most likely provided by Harry’s demon management team, nevertheless, he signed. 

****

“I think you may have created one of the best movies this generation will ever see” John admitted, clasping Louis’ back as the music began to play across the boat. He gazed over the railings to the crowd of people who were now boarding, he noticed the familiar faces and smiled. He looked at John and nodded “It wasn’t just me. All of those people down there are the reason it is what it is, if it’s as successful as we hope, then it’s down to them”   
  
“Don’t discredit your talent Louis. Yes, they were fantastic. But you did it, you’re the one who brought it all together” 

****

“Let’s see how the box office sales are first. Then i’ll accept any praise you throw my way” Louis said. “Do you mind if I go down?”   
  
“Of course” John said, nodding his head “Please, don’t let me hold you back”   
  
“Thank you” Louis smiled, politely. 

****

Louis was actually rather giddy about seeing everyone. Even some of the most annoying, like the Editors for example. As soon as he had reached the bottom deck, his first foot stepping onto the floor he was engulfed in a hug, an arm around his shoulder with a cheer. 

****

“He’s here!” Louis glanced up to see it was Timothee who was currently attempting to strangle him. “The man of the hour”   
  
“Get off” Louis laughed, pulling out of his grip. He pulled back, fixing his shirt and looked at him “You’ve grown a beard”   
  
“I have. I’m one of those people now, with long hair, a beard, becoming one with the world”   
  
“That’s the most cliche shit I have ever heard” Louis teased. He reached up and pulled him into another hug “But, it’s great to see you man. Really great”   
  
“You too mate, really” Timothee agreed, patting Louis’ back. “Niall ran off to the bar to find us some vodka. So,  I imagine it’s going to be a messy night”   
  
“Like you wouldn’t believe” Louis winked. 

****

“Crazy, ain’t it? Doesn’t even feel real that it’s all over. It just went so quickly”   
  
“Are you surprised? We literally had no time at all to finish it, I’m surprised we even did”   
  
Timothee nodded “Yeah, me too. But we have man, it’s all you. You’ve created the impossible, you should be proud. This movie is going to be a hit, I’m sure of it”   
  
“People keep saying that” Louis hummed, crossing his arms as he smiled at the people who greeted him. “I just hope we do it the justice it deserves”   
  
“We have Lou. Don’t worry about that, yeah?” Timothee said, throwing his arm back around Louis’ shoulder “How about we go and see everyone's pretty faces and then get ourselves super drunk to celebrate?”   
  
“I think that sounds wonderful”

****

Louis was overwhelmed with all the attention, countless faces in front of him as they thanked him for everything, he had never received so many hugs in his life. He had worked with one of the kindest teams he had ever worked with in his life. He even let Sarah hug him for a good five minutes, rambling on about how she hates him for running off and leaving the last bits to her in Paris but then continued to say how excited she was for the release. She most definitely had been on the wine before she arrived. Louis managed to escape,  _ eventually  _ and excused himself to give himself some space and find his head again. He was stood by the entrance, where people were still walking on board, some of the late comers. 

****

The atmosphere was unreal. The view, even better. The boat was filled with smiling faces, love being shown in every way possible. The fairy lights that scattered across the boat finally proved their use as the sky washed over in a deep blue. It looked stunning. He looked over to where Niall was taking shots with Timothee, encouraging everyone around him to join in, he then looked up to the top deck where the producers and John were stood, watching proudly at the cast and crew who had allowed John’s vision to come to life. It was surreal, the feeling of pride Louis felt. He wasn’t sure he would ever be this overwhelmed again in his life. Well, that depended on how well the Movie did. Because if this really was the hit that everyone kept preaching about then Louis could quite easily be the happiest man in the world, it would make all of it worth it, every single moment. Even if it didn’t, he knew that all of these people would be proud nonetheless, the hard work and determination would still be worth it. They would have created something that  _ they  _ were proud of and maybe that was okay. It sure seemed it right now. 

****

Louis smiled as he saw Niall approach him, two drinks in hand and swaying along to the music with a positively brilliant smile across his face. “Gin and Tonic, your highness” Niall greeted, bowing as he held the drink out for Lou. 

****

“Why thank you, peasant” Louis laughed, taking the drink from his hand.

****

“You should hear them all Lou, they’re all praising you like you’re the fucking king” Niall snorted “Shame they don’t know how much of a bellend you are”   
  
“It is, isn’t it? Shame it’s only you that knows that” Louis chuckled. 

****

“Is Styles coming or not? I don’t think I’ve seen him yet” Niall asked, eyes furrowing across the deck as he hunted for the curly haired boy. 

****

“Don’t know” Louis shrugged, mumbling into his drink “I’m sure he will be, he’s probably just running late, you know what he’s like”   
  
“Let’s hope so. I invited Zayn and Aidan so they should be here soon too”   
  
“You what? Mate, they’re not even apart of the movie. In fact, neither are you! You’re not even supposed to be here?” Louis breathed, completely exhausted by Niall at this point. But who could blame him, he’d been dealing with him for years.

****

“It’s a party” Niall shrugged “Anyway, I don’t count. They all love me more than you”   
  
“You think…” 

****

“They do. I know it. I’m much more fun than you, they’ve all said how glad they are that I’m here” Niall bragged.

****

“Are you sure you aren’t just telling yourself that?”   
  
Niall rolled his eyes and took a sip of his drink “Come on, let’s go mingle. You can’t stand here all night like a doormat”   
  
“I was just having a moment to myself I wasn’t-”   
  
“Shut up. Come on” Niall demanded, shoving Louis’ on his back into the crowd. 

****

Louis would be social tonight, very social, thanks to Niall. 

****

So he mingled. He spoke to everyone he could find, laughing about the different memories they had on set, remembering the bad moments, the good times, the lot. He listened as each of them told Louis what they had been doing through the five weeks they had been parted, a lot of them had done what Harry and Tim had done, jetting off to somewhere exotic or cultural to have a break from it all. Louis was full of envy, almost wishing he had done the same rather than lock himself away in his flat and gained ten pounds. 

****

Louis was half way through telling a group of them the story of his multicoloured apartment, four gin and tonics in and most definitely reaching that ‘a little bit more than tipsy’ stage, when the music came to a stop. Louis frowned as he was talking about his yellow duvet and turned, he glanced up at the top deck where John was standing with a microphone in his hand. He stepped back, turning his entire body to look up. 

****

“Hello everyone! Thank you for all coming this evening to celebrate” John spoke through the mic, gaining everyone’s attention “I just wanted to take a moment of your time to say a little thank you myself, if that’s okay?”   
  
“Do you think he’s drunk?” Niall whispered into Louis’ ear.

****

Louis nodded, hiding his smile “He’s probably drank to celebrate how big his bank account will be in a few weeks” he joked. 

****

“I would like to thank every single one of you, without all of your help and input I would  never have been able to stand here today. When I originally wrote the novel I thought it would be read by a few people and that would be it, it was written when the support for our LGBT community wasn’t as big and supported as it is now. Almost a taboo subject, which was hard for everyone to deal with. But, it seemed like I had more than just a few readers. They all came in their thousands, finding comfort in the story and it was overwhelming. I never expected for more than a couple hundred people to read it, let alone that we would be making an entire movie around it…” He trailed off. 

****

“I know that i wrote the story and I’m forever grateful for that as well as the gentlemen behind me who picked it up for a movie. But, the biggest reason I am grateful is due to Louis” He said, his eyes finding Louis in the crowd “I think we can all agree that Louis is one of the most amazing, talented and wonderful Director’s of our generation. A visionary. He took my plain old book and turned it into a beautiful and heartbreaking love story for the world to witness. I think we can all agree that without him here, we most definitely wouldn’t be celebrating today. It wouldn’t have worked, none of it. Louis has shaped a movie together that today’s generation will learn from and for that, I am forever thankful. So, I would ask that you all raise your glasses for a toast… To Louis Tomlinson”   
  
“To Louis” The crowd around him cheered, glasses in the air and Louis had to hold back the emotions that he was feeling right now. Ready to break at any moment. 

****

“Louis, do you have a few words you would like to say?” John asked and Louis felt on the spot. He stilled, he hadn’t arranged anything, the possibility of a speech was entirely off the cards. He had spent more time wondering how much alcohol he could consume rather than the professional side of it. 

****

Louis reluctantly nodded, revelling in the cheers from his peers. He gulped as he stepped out in front of them all, not bothering with the mic or joining them upstairs. He was no better than anyone else stood alongside him. 

****

He turned around, smiling as he faced everyone around him. He took a deep breath, he brought the drink he had in his hand to his lips and took a large gulp. 

****

“We ain’t got all night Tommo” Niall called out, earning an array of laughter. 

****

“Right, can someone get security?” Louis teased “There’s an idiot running loose on board”   
  
“Get on with it”   
  
“Alright, bloody hell” Louis breathed out a laugh. He looked again at the people in front of him and shrugged, there was no need for nerves. “I wasn’t prepared to give a speech, if you haven’t already figured that out. I’m not really sure where to start… I suppose I should start with Thank You. To each and every single one of you. I know it’s been tough and I know that a lot of the time we all sat and wondered why we were even trying. But, no matter what, you all stood by me until the bitter end, which is all I could have asked for”   
  
“I wasn’t sure what I expected when I agreed to this movie. All I really knew was that I really fucking loved the book and I wanted to give it the cinematic justice it deserved. I had no clue how I was going to do it, but I was blessed with a cast who wanted the same as me” He smiled, gazing down at his feet “I’ve been a nightmare. I’ve shouted, I’ve screamed, I’ve even cried at some of you and a lot of the time I threatened to leave you all on set and walk out. But, even though I was a giant pain in all of your arses, you supported me. Which is something I can only count myself lucky for”   
  
He looked across the people in front of him, all smiling with bright eyes. Niall had his arm around Tim’s shoulder and they were both encouraging him to continue. 

****

“I guess I should do a few personal thank you’s. Firstly, to Niall who wasn’t part of the fucking movie in the first place but kept myself and all of you entertained at all times” He laughed, watching as Niall bowed to everyone. “Thank you to the crew, you worked countless hours, working beyond what you were asked to and I am grateful for your dedication. I’m thankful to wardrobe who dealt with me consistently changing my mind on outfit choices and forcing you to search far and wide for one pair of bloody socks. I’m also thankful for our behind the scenes Editors, who received the most grief from me, I’m sorry about that but you smashed it in the end” 

****

“The biggest thank you I have is to the cast. I was very lucky to work with the people I did, every single one of you allowed me to create the vision I wanted with your phenomenal acting skills. To our Two main actors. Tim blessed us with his incredible talent, his beautiful soul and passion for what he does. His character has a lot of controversial scenes, often seen as the bad guy in all of this and let me say that it doesn’t even come close to who he really is. The fact that someone as bloody lovely as him can play such a character proves his talent is never ending. So thank you, you have been wonderful” He gushed, allowing everyone to clap for Timothee as he stood gracefully taking the compliment. 

****

“There is also our other star, the one guy that…” He paused, watching as if on cue that Harry walked onto the deck. His eyes widened and his lips dried up, he caught eyes with the green beautiful eyes that he had missed. He looked like a different person yet still the same. He was tanned, his skin glowing against the lighting produced from the lanterns above him. He was dressed in a hawaiian style shirt, sticking to his promise of dressing like a middle aged man with multiple kids. But of course, he looked fantastic in it. 

****

His eyes hooked onto Harry’s as they smiled at one another. Louis exhaled a content sigh and nodded “The actor who dealt with my tantrums, told me to shut up if I was being too harsh, the one who would tell me if I was doing wrong or something wasn’t right. He’s the actor who went beyond his pay grade by not only supporting the movie but supporting me. When I heard that Harry Styles was going to be in my movie I was distraught, I was certain that the movie was ruined from there on out. I was certain I knew who he was and I was certain that I didn’t like it.” He admitted, his eyes till hooked on Harry’s “But, it took only a matter of days for me to see who Harry really is. A passionate young actor with a heart big enough for us all. He not only displayed a beautiful, heartfelt performance for us all to watch and revel in. But, he also gave me a _ best friend _ . Someone that I will forever be grateful to have in my life. So thank you, I will forever be grateful”   
  
There was no one there, that’s what Louis felt. He was lost in the moment, as if everyone in the room had disappeared and it was only he and Harry. The only thing that pulled him from his trance was the clapping that began to roar around him. He reluctantly removed himself from Harry’s grasp and looked back at everyone. 

****

“That’s all I’ve got to say” He announced, raising his glass in the air “So, how about we all do we do best, yeah? And get absolutely steaming to celebrate! Cheers!”

****

The crowd of people that were in front of him soon immersed around the ship, returning back to their chatter and drinking. Louis turned back to find Harry but it was no use, people had surrounded him, making it impossible. He reached on to his tiptoes, gazing around the top of people’s head in search for the green eyes, but it was no use. 

****

“Beautiful words mate” Niall approached him “Shall we take some shots?”   
  
“That’s literally your answer to everything” Louis rolled his eyes. Nonetheless, he threw his drink back and nodded “But yes, let’s take shots”   
  
\--------

****

Louis was four shots down, at least eight gin and tonics in and was most definitely drunk at this point. That was obvious, for everyone to see, as he had somehow managed to find himself stood on the bar in the bottom deck. His shirt opened and holding two bottles of sambuca in his hands, waving them about for everyone to see. He was acting like a college frat boy, not a world class Director. But then again, had ever acted that way?   
  
“Like Oprah says… You get a shot! You get a shot! You get a shot” Louis shouted, giggling beneath his words. He crouched down on the bar and began pouring the drink into people’s open mouths, snorting with laughter as they all winced and grimaced at the taste. He was pouring one bottle into everyone else’s mouth and the other into his own. He loved the taste. At least, he thought he did, it was probably only Drunk Louis who thought that. 

****

He stood back up on the bar, dancing away to the music that was blaring through the boat, he was having the time of his life. Completely clear headed and free, it was the first time he had ever let himself just have fun in such a long time and boy, he was taking advantage of it.

****

“Tommo! If you fall, I swear to god” Niall laughed, attempting to grab Louis’ leg to pull him down. 

****

“Get off, I’m dancing” Louis whined, kicking his leg out of Niall’s grasp. He continued swaying his hips to the music as he pulled the bottle to his mouth, wincing as the burning drink ran down his throat. He shook his head and stuck his tongue out “It doesn’t taste as nice once you have your fifth one, just so you know” 

****

“Maybe you should pick a different one” Niall suggested, eyeing up the other bottles behind the bar. 

****

“Great idea!” Louis gasped with delight. He crouched down again and turned around so he could face the guy in the bar who was most definitely done with Louis’ shit by this point. Louis held the two bottles in his direction “Can we something else?”   
  
“I don’t think that’s a great idea” He cautioned, taking the two bottles from Louis’ hands. “Maybe you could order a drink instead?”   
  
“You’re not very fun Brian”   
  
“My names Jack”   
  
“Brian, come on” Louis sighed, shaking his head. He waited a few seconds, seeing if he would give up and just give Louis a new bottle but he was having none of it. Louis huffed, he backed himself off the bar and back down onto his feet. “Give me a drink then”   
  
“What do you want?”   
  
“A mix of stuff” Louis shrugged, attempting to think of something. He glanced to his side at Niall “What shall I have?”   
  
“Just give him some wine” Niall told the guy.

****

“Wine?” Louis frowned, disgusted in his best friends choice. “That’s boring!”   
  
“Yeah well, if you drink a mix you’re gonna be passed out before the party’s even over” Niall laughed. It wasn’t like he was sober, he just wasn't at Louis’ level. Which was the fun level. 

****

Louis pouted but didn’t argue against it any more. He just smiled, leaning his head on his palm as he looked at his best friend “You’re really great. You’re annoying but great”   
  
“Thanks” Niall snorted, reaching for the glass of wine for Louis “You’re a massive pain in my arse”   
  
“You can’t say that. That’s what I call you” Louis defended, grabbing the glass from Niall’s hand “Stealer”   
  
“ _ Stealer _ ?” Niall threw his head back with a laugh. 

****

“You know what I meant” He mumbled against the glass. “I’m drunk, aren’t i?”   
  
“A little” Niall confirmed “But who cares? You are allowed to have fun Lou, you’re celebrating. We all are”   
  
“Yeah” Louis nodded, taking a sip of his wine. He glanced down and saw that all of his buttons were undone on his shirt and frowned. He looked back up at Niall “When did this happen?”   
  
“You literally ripped it open when you first stepped onto the bar” Niall laughed “It was great”   
  
“I’m a mess” Louis stated, shrugging his shoulders as he took another swig. He reached Niall’s eyes again and frowned, he was staring at Louis weirdly. Louis quickly panicked, glancing down at himself to see if he had also removed his trousers, luckily they were still firmly in place. “What are you looking at?” Louis asked, paranoid. 

****

Niall nodded, eyes wide as he gestured to behind him. Louis frowned, turning in his step and nearly spilt his wine when he stopped. He did a little jump, a little gasp falling from him. 

****

“Fuck” Louis swore, taking a step back. 

****

There he was, all tanned and beautiful. Right in front of Louis with a smile that could save lives. Louis took him in, he looked so relaxed, so different but same all at the same time. Louis couldn’t but his finger on what was different but it was a good change. 

****

“Sorry” Harry laughed.

****

“You scared me, you wanker” Louis said, slapping Harry’s arm. “Hi” 

****

“Hi Lou” Harry said and Louis didn’t have a chance to say anything else, Harry pulled him quickly before he could respond. Pulling Louis’ smaller frame up against him, his arms around his waist as he held onto him. Louis wrapped one of his arms around Harry’s neck while holding the one with wine at his side, knowing him, he would have spilt in down Harry’s back. Harry breathed him in. “God, I’ve missed you”    
  
“You saw me last week” Louis attempted to laugh it off, pulling back from Harry to hold him at arm's length. He smiled, tilting his head as Harry continued to look at him. “Are you okay?”   
  
Harry nodded, his smile never faltering “Yeah, I’ve never been better. I was kind of hoping I could steal you for a little bit, if that’s okay?”   
  
“You can, but you should know, we’re currently sailing down the Thames. So where are you going to take me that doesn't involve drowning?” Louis asked, placing his glass down. 

****

Harry just held his hand out, in front of everyone to see. Louis gazed around him confused for a second, looking to see if anyone was looking but no one seemed to care. He bit his bottom lip as he hesitantly placed his hand in Harry’s.

****

“Come on” Harry spoke softly. 

****

Louis allowed Harry to pull him through the crowd gathered inside the bar and out onto the deck, there were only a few people standing out there, drinks in hands as they gazed out at the beautiful view that was London. Some of them looked in their direction but none of them seemed fazed by the fact Harry was holding Louis’ hand. It was all so normal. 

****

Harry lead Louis round to the side, where the stairs were for the upper deck. Louis stilled and frowned “Isn’t John up there?”   
  
“No” Harry shook his head “They got off the boat before we set sail” 

****

“Oh, okay” Louis nodded and Harry urged him to go up. 

****

So he did. He stepped, one foot after the other until he reached solid ground. It was even more of a beautiful view now, when it wasn’t surrounded by a bunch of men in suits and especially now that they were surrounded by the night sky. He stepped out, slow steps as he admired the view from up here. It was something to be remembered, seeing London like this. The London eye in clear view as it lit up alongside the busy city. 

****

“So” Louis eventually said, turning around to face Harry. He crossed his arms over himself, attempting to keep warm. It didn’t help that he had lost quite a few buttons on his shirt. “How was it? Your adventure with the giraffes?”   
  
Harry shrugged “Fine. The giraffes got boring after a while”   
  
“How dare you” Louis gasped “Giraffes can’t be boring”   
  
“Yeah, well, I made friends with some monkey’s instead”   
  
“Of course you did” Louis snorted, turning back to look out at the view. “How many times did your management call then?”   
  
“I don’t know, I still haven’t turned my phone on” He admitted, walking out to join Louis at the edge of the railings. “There’s something beautiful about London at night”   
  
“I’m sure it doesn’t compare to your view this last week, but, yeah there definitely is”   
  
“It was surreal, being out there, surrounded by nothing but green for miles. Surrounded by a bunch of wilderness we can only see in the Zoo’s back home. It was great, you know, not having to answer to anyone. I was literally free to do what I liked… Do you know how weird it is being able to go for a run without being hounded by fans and cameras?”   
  
“No, I’ve never ran in my life” Louis shrugged but added “But I can imagine”   
  
“I feel so refreshed” Harry said, running his fingers through his hair. “It’s strange what a one week away from this life can do, it was the first time I didn’t feel like Harry Styles. I just felt like me, you know?” 

****

“I’m glad” Louis said, turning to look at Harry. Taking him in, all of him. “You look better”   
  
“You think?” 

****

Louis hummed. “You look like you’ve found a new lease of life, as cliche as it is”   
  
“We keep saying it’s cliche, but I’m just starting to think our lives are one massive cliche Lou”   
  
“Yeah” Louis agreed through a brisk laugh “I think you’re right. At dinner the other day, we were saying how my life is literally a movie, half of the stuff that happens isn’t even believable. It’s just madness”   
  
“I can agree with that” Harry nodded. He turned around, leaning his back against the metal, his hands grasping onto it to keep himself steady. Louis soon joined, leaning beside him, his arms still crossed across his chest. 

****

“So, Guru Styles, tell me, what did you find out about yourself while you whisked yourself away to the jungle?” Louis asked, humour hinting his voice. Ready to hear Harry relate himself to the Monkey’s or something. 

****

“I didn’t find out that much” Harry shrugged “I don’t know what I expected really. But, I just realised that the life I’m living is fucking wired. Like so fucked up. It’s not normal”   
  
“You’ve only just realised?”   
  
“You know what I mean Lou. Like, I was sat there reading Call Me By Your Name, Monkey’s reaching down and grabbing my food, not that that’s important, I just thought I’d tell you because it was hilarious… But, yeah, I’m sat reading it and I get to the part where Elio’s dad talks about how lucky he has to have something so special, like he’s so accepting of his son’s affair with the man who stayed in their house. At first, I’m like okay this is fucked up, because what sort of dad does that. But then I start thinking about it”   
  
“Right…” Louis drawled, not entirely sure where this was going. All he had in his dizzy head was the picture of Monkey’s eating Harry’s sandwich. 

****

“That’s one person. Someone who you least expect, sat there saying it’s okay. Like, you fall in love with whoever you want, no matter who they are, what their gender is, it doesn’t matter because at the time, it was special to you. You know what I mean?”   
  
“I mean, yeah, I’ve read the book”   
  
“But do you understand what I mean?” Harry asked and Louis’ shrugged. “It was so sad, knowing that even after that weekend Oliver had with Elio, no matter how beautiful and happy they both were, he still went home and got engaged. Even though, we all know that he loved Elio and still did. He chose to do that because in that time, he felt like he had to. Which, when you read it, it all sounds so fucked up right?”   
  
“Yeah… But I mean, I think Oliver used him to some extent. Elio was there for Oliver to have, he knew how desperately obsessed Elio was with him and took advantage”   
  
“I don’t think so” Harry quickly defended his point. “They loved each other. You know what I loved the most?” harry asked, glancing at Louis who just  shook his head. “That they did this all alone, no one else around them to tell them what they were doing wasn’t okay, no one to judge them. They kept it to themselves, completely lost in eachother and I loved it”   
  
“Is this what you’ve done while you were away? Become some literature major? Starting to analysing the meaning of books?”    
  
“No” Harry laughed “I guess what I’m saying is. No, hiding away with the giraffes didn’t make me feel any better. It was the book and the time alone that did”   
  
“So really, you could have just locked yourself away in your house for a week and read and that would have done the exact same thing?” Louis teased. 

****

“I don’t think so. Because I would have known that you were only a few streets away”   
  
“I see” Louis nodded, not sure how he was meant to take that. 

****

It was silent again, both sat beside one another without a word falling from their lips. Louis wasn’t sure what he was supposed to say. He wasn’t sure what was right and what was wrong and the alcohol he had drank didn’t help his confusion at all. 

****

“Louis, can I ask you something?” Harry eventually asked, breaking the tension. 

****

“Of course” Louis nodded. 

****

“I asked you if you were over me last time I saw you and you said no, do you still feel the same?”   
  
Louis choked. Quite literally, he frowned as he took in what Harry was asking “I don’t… Well, no, I mean, yeah I still feel the same way. It’s only been a week”   


Harry nodded. Louis watched as he pushed himself from the railings and stepped forward, he reached his hand up to push his hair from his face again, his other finger in his mouth as he nervously bit on the nail. Louis wasn’t sure if he was just drunk and that Harry was probably being normal and his mind was playing tricks on him. But if not, then Harry was acting stranger than usual. 

****

“Look” Harry turned to look at Louis, his hands dropping to his sides. “I’m not sure what my furture holds, yeah? I’m not certain if I’ll ever be free from my management or if they’ll ever allow me to be who I want to be”   
  
“I know that Harry, you don’t need to-”   
  
“Wait” Harry interjected, hushing Louis. “I’m not sure if there’s a way out of it all, I’ve never looked. But I do know that I am contracted for another year, meaning I will have to have a beard until december next year, I wouldn’t be allowed to openly have a boyfriend…”   
  
“Where are you going with this Harry?” Louis asked, his hands moving to grip onto the metal railing. “My heads all confused”   
  
“I just need you to understand, okay? My life isn’t fun, you know that. I hide an awful lot, more than what you already know. And when I’m not working on movies or linked to another project, I’m being dragged here, there and everywhere to pretend like I’m living this young bachelor lifestyle. Which means, weekends at a time when I’ll be whisked off to spend time in the Alps with Kendall or attend parties in Cabo with a bunch of famous people I don’t even know” Harry continued, eyes completely trained onto Louis’ never losing them. “Half the time, I don’t even know what my schedule is. I just go where I’m told and that’s that. I have little to no control over my life. I have time off sometimes but I never know when that’ll be. My life is not my own Louis, do you understand?”   
  
“Yes, I mean, I don’t know Harry. I don’t know what you’re trying to say” Louis stammered. His mind working double time as he attempted to take it all in. Every bitter word. 

****

“I’m not sure I know what love is Lou, I’ve never felt this way before. I’ve never allowed it to happen, but then you walk into my life with your big blue eyes, fucking awful temper and your talk of fairy tales and love. I can’t understand it but I know what it is”   
  
Louis gulped, his heart dropping to his stomach. “What are you saying Harry?” He whispered. 

****

“I’m saying… I did a lot of thinking when I was gone and every scenario I came up with ended with you. I’m fucking scared and I have no idea what will happen from now but I’d risk it all, if you could promise me a lifetime” 


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Songs to listen to while reading, random mix. 
> 
> Amy Shark - Adore.  
> Kodaline - All I want.  
> The Verve - Bitter sweet Symphony.  
> Little Big Town - Girl Crush.  
> Lewis Capaldi - Grace.  
> Half Alive - Awake at Night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's late today. I was out of the house all day and then as soon as I sat down to actually finish writing it, I sat and watched Twilight instead. I've been so distracted! So, I hope that this chapter is what you hope for. It's like the movie split, one minute it's all shit and the next it's perfect.
> 
> Let me know what you think :)

Louis’ fingers gripped against the cold metal of the bars behind him, knuckles white as he held onto them for balance. All of sudden, he forgot how to speak, like any knowledge of the english language had disintegrated completely from his mind.

****

_“If you could promise me a lifetime”_ Louis frowned, shaking his head as he attempted to make some sense out Harry’s words. This had to be a dream, it had to be, there was no way Harry Styles was standing in front of him in a hawaiian shirt asking him to love him. Only would that be normal in a world that he conjured up in his mind, not reality. Then he began to question how drunk he really was, but it was as if he had sobered up, sobered inside of this moment. 

“What?” Louis asked, his voice high pitched as the question fell from him.

“I’m asking you to give me a chance Louis, give me a chance to try and be the person you want me to be. Even though I have no idea what that actually is” Harry pleaded, contemplating with himself as he did. “I just I don’t know… I just want you Louis, that’s all I know. You and everything that comes along with it”  
  
“But why?” was all Louis could ask. He couldn’t understand how Harry could be saying all this when he had not long ago told him he couldn't’ be with him, no matter what. None of it made sense. He shook his head, his furrowed as he tried to understand. “Why now? Why do you suddenly want me?”   
  
Harry’s eyes softened as he took a step closer, he glanced down and slowly reached his hand out, he reached his fingertips out for Louis’, softly linking them together. Then he looked up, eyes locked on Louis. “I wanted you Lou, more than you could ever understand. I didn’t reject you because I wasn’t interested, I did it for _you_ . But, I sat back and thought about it all so much. If what you’re saying is right and this is _fate_ , then no matter what gets thrown at us, we can deal with it. _Together_. Like how it should be, together. I just need you to say the words, say that you want me and we can do this Louis” he pleaded, his voice fragile as the uncomfortable words fell from his lips. A declaration he was not used to. 

Louis’ mouth parted, he attempted to find the words to reply but nothing came out. He was looking into Harry’s eyes, trying to find the meaning behind this but it was blank. He couldn’t see the answer hidden beneath his hidden touches and secret words.

“Harry…” Louis began but the rest of his sentence was lost. Here he was, Harry Styles standing in front of him, holding his hand and declaring that he wanted to be with him and what was Louis doing? Nothing. “I… I don’t know what to say, love”  
  
“Just say _Okay Harry_ and then we can go back to mine, stay in bed for a week and hide from my management” Harry teased, smiling softly as his thumb stroked Louis’ hand. ****

“I…” Louis looked up at Harry again. He slowly released his hand from Harry’s grip and shook his head “Harry, I don’t… I can’t”  
  
“What?” Harry breathed, attempting to reach for Louis’ hand again but Louis pulled it out of his reach. “What do you mean Lou?”   
  
Louis heart was racing, his mind exploding into a trail of different routes, where this could, why this would and wouldn’t work, he was trying to understand it but he just couldn’t. He just stood there, silently with his mouth parted, attempting to explain what not even he could understand. “You were right” Louis whispered, eyes falling to his feet. He couldn’t face Harry. “This. Us. You were right all along, Harry. This would never work”

“Yeah but like I said babe, we can make it work, all we need is each other and we can take on anything, yeah?”   
  
Louis shook his head, eyes scrunching shut “You really think risking it all for me is a good idea?” he croaked, his voice last somewhere in his throat. “Because, you and I both know that if we did this, you would face the consequences Harry. And so will I.”   
  
“I’ve faced more than I could have imagined already Louis, a few shit articles and a couple of scandals and beards aren’t going to make it much worse than it already is” Harry assured, his voice still lacing with persuasion and cool.

“Harry…” Louis trailed off, this time his eyes reaching Harry’s desperate ones. He reached his hand out, mirroring Harry’s earlier action. Harry smiled, as though he was finally at ease but Louis’ eyes were filled with sadness. “I love you” he whispered, hand reaching up to cup Harry’s cheek.

“I know, Lou” Harry’s eyes closed as he whispered, his head falling into Louis’ touch.

“But we can’t do this” Louis couldn’t believe he had said that, never mind the surprised look on Harry’s face. He was breathing heavily, accepting what he had just said. He had spent so long trying to find this commitment for Harry, wishing and waiting but after everything, after all he had heard from Harry. He knew that he was right. “We can’t be together”  
  
“But… You love me. I don’t understand Lou, I thought this is what you wanted” Harry’s breath hitched as his voice croaked out the desperate words and Louis’ heart broke as they were spoken. ****

Louis nodded, eyes filling with desperate tears “I did. All I did was push and push you H, I gave you an ultimatum, either be with me or don’t have me at all and that wasn't fair. I was wrong for doing that. I knew that the world’s we live in our so close yet they are miles apart, we live completely different lives, love. You couldn’t be with me, even if you wanted to. It wouldn’t be fair on either of us, would it? We would never see eachother”  
  
“You don’t know that” Harry pleaded.

“Don’t I? Love, you are sent here, there and everywhere. You’ve literally just told me you could be sent somewhere all of a sudden, you can’t even tell me when you would be able to see me. Is that a good way to start a relationship, do you think? Then there’s the hiding…”

“That’s not my fault Louis” He quickly defended. “You know that”   
  
“I know that, love. I do. But you have to think about it, yeah? How are we supposed to have a relationship when you probably won’t even be allowed to spend time with me outside? We wouldn’t even be able to go on a real first date, one as a couple. That’s kinda fucked up H”   
  
“We could hire somewhere or we could do something secretive, I don’t know what you want Louis… You need to give some help here. I’ve literally spent a whole week thinking about no one other than you, after you have spent months pining over me. Here I am Louis, standing in front of you asking you to love me for a little bit longer. And you’re telling me what? You can’t? Because my life doesn’t expect your relationship quota? What’s life without a little bit of fucking risk Lou? Is anything you’ve said to me been true?”   
  
“Of course, god, yes Harry. All of it was bloody true” Louis quickly defended, he pulled his hand from Harry’s cheek and reached for his other hand. He was holding onto them tightly. “I’m in love with you Harry, I think you’re the most beautiful, amazing, wonderful man I have ever met in my life. But, we can’t be together, _not right now_.” louis regretted it the moment he said it, hitting like a ten tonne truck that he was just about to let the person he loved walk.

“Wow” Harry sniffed, nodding repeatedly as he took in what Louis was saying. Louis wanted to swoop him up in his arms, comfort him, but he couldn’t not right now. This was already hard enough.

“I’m doing this for us Harry. I’m not going to be selfish about this anymore”

Harry’s head lifted, eyes heavy lidded. “Are you sure about that Louis?” He sniffed, releasing his hands from Harry’s grip. “I’m sorry I wasn’t able to give you what you wanted when it suited you Louis. But, you knew how difficult this all was for me, you know better than anyone. I’ve spent time sitting for hours, trying to understand everything that came to you and then I finally stand in front of you, potentially trying to give you what you’ve wanted for so long and suddenly you don’t want to do this?”

“I don’t mean… Harry, I’m doing this for us, I swear. You were right it wouldn't-”

  
“Save it, Louis” Harry halted his speech. He shook his head as he took a few steps away from him. “I can’t believe I even did this. I told myself time and time again I wouldn't fall for anyone. Then I do and what do I get?” Harry snickered, sadly. “A waste of my bloody time and nothing to gain” ****

“Harry, I promise you I’m not doing this to hurt you or anything like that. I just need to think what’s best for both of us, we need to stop acting like two characters from some romance movie and act rational. You’ve said it before, this life, it doesn’t want us together babe”  
  
“I think it does” Harry fires back, turning his back to Louis. Louis frowned as he watched Harry walk across the deck heading for the stairs. ****

“What? Where are you going?” Louis shouts, desperately. He pushes himself away from the bars and hurries to catch up with Harry.   
  
Harry sighs, one hand running through his flowing locks and turns to meet Louis “I’m going downstairs, I’m going to have a drink and then, when this boat stops, I’m going to get off and I’m going to forget that _this_ ” he pauses, gesturing between the two of them. “Ever happened. Like I never met you, like this wasn’t ever a thing, okay?”

“Stop being so dramatic, H. We can still carry on as we are, that’s how this works”

“No Louis” Harry replies, sharply and Louis steps back a little, taken back by his tone. “You told me time and time again that you couldn’t be around me when this all got too much for you, guess what? It’s my turn now, yeah?” He says and Louis shakes his head. “Lou, you have no fucking idea how confusing this all is for me. You need to figure out what it really is that you want. Because if you love me and still don’t want to be with me, then, fucking hell, you need to have a word with yourself… I’m not sitting around waiting for the answer”   
  
“Harry…”   
  
“Oh and by the way” Harry says, glancing over his shoulder as he steps onto the first step. “We’re not acting like we’re in some romantic movie, this is real Louis. I know the next part of the movie would say that I come running back after you but not this time. I’m done”   
  
Louis watches as Harry steps down the stairs, his head of hair disappearing with each step and the suddenly he’s gone. He’s not on the top deck with Louis anymore, he doesn’t want Louis anymore, he’s done. All because Louis thought he knew best. He reached one arm out for the railings, gripping onto it as he kept himself balanced. All he could see was the look of pure hurt in Harry’s eyes, the disappointment and Louis couldn’t stop his heart from beating at the rate it was anymore - It was sheer panic. He couldn’t jeopardize Harry’s career just because he was in love with him, that wasn’t fair.

He thought over it for a second, considering running down the steps, finding Harry, kissing him and making a load of drunk promises. But he stopped himself, he couldn’t do that, not to himself and not to Harry. Maybe he did have to let Harry go. They both needed to be happy, which neither of them truly were. You can’t have a relationship that is already based on so much hurt, so many lies and so much confusion. They needed clear heads, Louis was sure of it. So sure, that he stayed up on the deck until the boat docked up on the Thames.

He didn’t search for Harry when he stepped off the boat, he didn’t say goodbye to the numerous amount of people who were waving at him. He snuck off on his own, grabbing a taxi and sending himself home. He needed to sleep this drunk head away, deal with the hangover the next morning and try and figure out why when it felt like he had done the right thing, it felt so awful. But most of all, why he felt like he had just lost a part of himself.

  
  


***

****

Here Louis was, sat in Niall’s apartment for once rather than his own. Sat on a chair while his friends sat around him on the sofas, his body there but his mind elsewhere. He was about six hours into his hangover and now all he felt was a headache, a severe one at that, but it was unknown whether that was due to the immense amount of alcohol he had consumed the night before or because he was still arguing with himself over his decision.

He had arrived at Niall’s at nine that morning, he couldn’t sleep at his own place so he decided to let himself into Niall’s front door. He found that Zayn and Aidan had obviously met Niall after the wrap party, considering they were both passed out across Niall’s sofas with empty beer bottles and fag ends around them. Niall was passed out on the rug when Louis first came in, naked, laying face first on a big fluffy grey rug. It looked comfy, Louis couldn’t blame him. So,  naturally so, he woke them up with a bunch of pots and pans mimicking the vine video he loved so dearly “I don’t get no sleep cause of y’all, y’all don’t get no sleep cause of me”. Louis kind of understood why all three boys told him to fuck off, threw multiple cushions at him as well as Niall absentmindedly throwing a bottle at his head, luckily it missed.

They had been lounging about all day, watching a bunch of Niall’s golf videos, catching up on Eastenders that not a single one of them had watched for a good six years and by the time Louis was sat on the chair, mindless, they were half way into Jumanji.

Niall had watched it so many times that he was miming along to every word Kevin Hart said, mimicking the facial expressions too. Whereas, Zayn took on Dwayne Johnson’s role and any other day, Louis would have teased them about it, maybe even have turned the TV off to stop the irritating faces they were pulling. But, he was just sat there, idly staring at the wall, his knees to his chest. And it was Aidan who noticed, surprisingly so. Niall hadn’t even realised Louis was still here, he was too invested in his TV to notice anyone was, really.

Niall was laughing wildly over something not even that funny in the movie, Zayn laughing alongside him but that was only because he was as high as a kite at that moment. He would have laughed at a plain white wall at that point.

Louis was in his head, re-doing the whole situation in his mind, attempting to figure out whether if he had said something else that things might have ended differently. He even attempted to think about what would happen in the future, if he would have agreed to have Harry, what would have happened to them. All he saw was one of them getting hurt in the end, so much so, that it nearly brought him to tears at the image. He couldn’t understand it, he had been so selfish and self absorbed the entire time it came to Harry, he just wanted Harry to himself all the bloody time, he wanted to be the only one he touched, the only one who got to see his sleepy eyes in the morning and hear his husky voice. He wanted to be the only one who could sit in a car with Harry and hear him belt out the lyrics to Shania Twain, just him, nobody else. So why had it done something so stupid? Who was benefiting from it? He surely wasn’t and Harry, well, he wasn’t sure what he was feeling but he knew that he wouldn’t be walking into Louis’ life any time soon.

“Lou” Aidan shouted, louis’ head snapped as he turned to gaze at Aidan absentmindedly. “That’s like the eight time I’ve called your name mate, are you okay?”  
  
Louis was about to answer when Niall added in “You’re like something possessed today pal, you’ve been staring at that wall like you’re worshiping it. What’s going on with you?”

“Did you take acid last night?” Zayn asked, his red stained eyes turning to glance at Louis with a lazy smile. Any other occasion, Lou would have burst out laughing at the sight.

“What’s wrong?” Niall asked, his voice much more concerned now. “Are you okay?”  
  
Louis dropped his legs, his feet touching the floor of Niall’s living room. He glanced between the three of them and shook his head “Yeah, No. I’m not alright actually” He admitted, voice quite firm considering the circumstances. “Turns out, I’m a bit of a bellend really”   
  
“That’s news to you then is it?” Zayn chuckled.

“Let me ask you something…” Louis addressed them all, he inched forward in his seat, eyes still floating around aimlessly. “You think you’re like really, _genuinely_ in love with someone right? They tell you for ages that it just ain’t gonna happen, it can’t. That’s fine, yeah, you can deal with that” Louis said, glancing to his friends for a response and they all nodded. “Okay, so you spend some time to yourself, you start understanding his reasoning behind it and all that shit”   
  
“Just so we know, this is about Harry isn't it?” Niall asked, cocking a brow. All three boys turned round to him with a frown. He nodded “Right, stupid question. Carry on…”   
  
“Okay, so like you’re dealing with it, coping a lot better than you were. Start to feel like yourself again. The other guy’s fucked off to be at one with the giraffes and all that bloody spiritually healing shit, so you’re left to your own devices. And you’re like okay, you’re coping. But then, he turns up, at this party and he takes your hand, takes you to the most romantic spot at the party, surrounded by a fucking beautiful view and a bunch of adorable fairy lights…” Louis trailed off, rubbing his head in his hands.

“Right?” Niall urged.

Louis lifted his head from his hands with a sigh. “He tells you that he’s spent a lot of time thinking while he’s away. He tells you, that no matter what he thought about it, it always come to you. No matter what. And he’s scared, he has no idea what’s going to happen but… he’d risk it all for...me” louis attempted to repeat the words that had been playing on his mind since the night before, like a broken record. “If i could just promise him a lifetime. And you stand there, after he has just opened himself up so vulnerably like that. And you say no”

He glanced down, not at anything specific, just somewhere to look as the words he had just repeated began flying around his head again, attempting to figure it out. Repeating _promise a lifetime_. That’s what hit Louis the most, Harry wasn’t just asking Louis to give it a go, he was telling him that he could see himself with Louis forever, a lifetime, an eternity. And Louis said no. 

He looked up at his three mates, all staring at him with wide eyes. Niall especially, his look was more of disgust rather than the genuine shock from the other boys, well, then again, Aidan almost looked like he was going to laugh. Most likely holding onto a hope that Louis would be over Harry soon and he could give it another go, which was off the cards, completely.

“What do you think?” Louis sat back in his seat, resting his hands onto his lap. “

“What the fuck” Niall roared. Now, Niall had been laying in the exact same spot all day. But as soon as those words escaped him, he was standing to his feet in a rage. “You fucking said no? That boy finally realises how he feels and you have the audacity to reject him? Fuckin’ hell Louis, I mean, I knew you could do some daft things but that… That’s stupid”  
  
“Harsh” Louis noted. “But fair” he turned to Zayn “What about you?”   
  
“You’re an idiot Louis, why did you fucking reject him man? You’ve been moping over him for months apparently and now you decide you don’t want him… Weird”   
  
“Oh, I want him” Louis reassured, shaking his head. “I want to be with him more than anything or anyone. But I sat there the other night and I thought about everything he said, about how things wouldn’t work, the world would be against us, including his team. What would we be doing it for exactly? To hide? To pretend we’re not together forever? I can’t see how that’s fair on either of us. If I’m with Harry I want him, all of him, I don’t care who sees”   
  
“But don’t you realise what he’s saying Louis? He’d risk that all, his career, his management, the lot, if you could just give him a chance” Zayn explained, crawling to his knees on his seat. “He’s asking for you to just help him understand his feelings”   
  
“No” Louis shook his head. “He’s asking me to hide with him until he’s ready”   
  
“Fuckin’ hell Louis. Do you know how long it’s taken for him to sit and really understand how he felt about you? That’s a huge thing for him. He’s never been allowed a real relationship before, he’s never even gotten close to someone like he has you and then he does. He’s here, he’s real and he’s learning. You need to give him a break” Niall shook his head and Louis frowned. “You’re unbelievable! Bloody ridiculous”   
  
“Oh I’m sorry. I didn’t realise you were number one on the Harry Styles fan site. Since when were you all for him and none for me?”   
  
“Since you became an idiot… Remember when Harry was being a tool? I slated him for weeks. Then he was alright again, I could see he was beginning to realise everything. Now he has, we’ve got fucking you to deal with” ****

Louis shrugged. “I just thought I was doing us both a favour, saving us from the inevitable”  
  
“What’s the inevitable Louis?”   
  
“Easy. Breaking up, fighting over the custody of our ten dogs, wondering where the fuck we went so wrong” Louis stated, as if he had rehearsed it time and time again. ****

Niall took a step forward and sat against the coffee table, focusing on Louis’ eyes, blocking him from looking anywhere else. “Okay. Now let me ask you something, yeah?”  
  
“Sure”   
  
“You remember when Zayn had his literature dissertation to finish?” Niall mentioned and Louis nodded. “We sat with him all night, reading the book, highlighting important lines, you know, all that bullshit. Do you remember?”   
  
“Of course. I loved it” Louis confessed. He always had enjoyed a good literature novel. Especially those that spoke about true love and… Ah, he saw where this was going now. ****

“Remember that quote you loved? That you literally made Zayn paint on your bedroom wall in our dorm?” Niall questioned, expectedly.

Louis bit his lip and nodded. “Yes, I do”  
  
“What was it?”   
  
Louis sighed, his hand reaching up to rub his eye “ _I love you as certain dark things are to be loved, in secret, between the shadow and the soul_ ” he mumbled, the words he used to bellow out as he pretended to be in a screenplay in their tiny flat. He remembered the words displayed above the poster he had for beauty and the beast and the painting of the rose that Zayn had painted so beautifully beside it. ****

He knew where this was going and he knew how very contradicting he was being.

Here he was, a different man that what he was at Uni. The words he once loved so dearly were nothing but a memory, he replayed them in his head as the memory came back to him. When he had asked Zayn to paint it onto his wall all those years ago, he thought it was nothing more than some aesthetically pleasing line he could put as his twitter header. But no, here he was, on the wrong side of twenty realising it meant everything and more.

“Fuck” Louis swore, realisation hitting him. “I’ve fucked up, haven’t I?”  
  
“Yes Lou, yes you have” Niall confirmed, reaching out to pat Louis’ shoulder. ****

Louis suddenly began to panic, not physically more mentally, as you know, his body was in turmoil from the amount of alcohol he had threw into his body the night before. He sat back with a sigh, resting his arms on either side of the sofa. He glanced up at Niall. “What do I do? He told me he was done with me, he couldn’t cope with it. He won’t want to speak to me”  
  
“You’re both so dramatic”   
  
“I’m seeing him but not until friday” Zayn piped up. ****

“How is that helpful to the situation?” Niall asked, turning to look at him. Zayn just shrugged and said “Just thought I would let you know”.

“Great help as always Malik, glad to have you along” Louis stuck his thumb up in the air in Zayn’s general direction. “Maybe I’ll have to dramatically follow him to LA and turn up at his door like he did me” Louis suggested. “But then, what do I say? Hey, sorry I was a dick and completely turned you down when in reality I meant to say yes bitch, love me”

“I mean, yeah but maybe miss out the bitch” Niall advised. “Maybe you could make it really romantic, send him a thousand white roses with I’m Sorry written in flowers too!”  
  
“That sounds expensive”

Niall rolled his eyes. “Bitch, you’re rich”   
  
“Don’t white flowers signify death?” Aidan asked, suddenly inviting himself into the conversation. 

“No one asked you for your opinion Aidan” Niall dismissed him. “What about you hire a plane, yeah? You get it to fly over London with some big white banner that says Harry Styles, I love you. LT”

“Oh yes, fantastic idea Niall. Why don’t we out Harry Styles by flying a banner around London about it?”

“Ah, forgot about that. Fuck” Niall swore.

“Can I just suggest something?” Aidan insisted, neither Louis or Niall had seen him get off the sofa nor seen him sit beside Niall on the coffee table. Both of them looked at him confused.

“If you mention death one more time” Niall warned.

“Get Harry stoned and buy him a pony, that’ll work” Zayn cheered.

“Once again, thank you so much” Louis replied with a short laugh “Stoners these days” he turned to Aidan, eyes wide as he urged him to carry on with whatever it was he was meant to be saying.  

“Okay. How about instead of some grand gesture like flying to LA or sending a load of death signifying roses, why don’t you just wait until wednesday?”  
  
“What’s happening wednesday?” Niall asked, turning to Lou. But Louis just shrugged. 

“Lou, I heard you on the phone. You’ve got an interview with Harry for Buzzfeed? The trailers being released today, remember?”  
  
“Fuck” Louis realised, he had completely forgotten about promoting the movie and especially the detail where it would just be him and Harry tomorrow and nobody else as they all had prior arrangements. He bit his lip and turned to look at Niall again. “What do I do? I can’t exactly declare my love for him during an interview”   
  
“If he’s in an interview with you on wednesday then that means he’s still in London. You know where he lives, why don’t you just go over? Apologise and tell him how you feel”   
  
“He knows how I feel” Louis corrected. “He just think I’m an arsehole”   
  
“Then prove your not” Aidan joined in again, which was all very bizarre. “I know we keep joking about it. But to be honest mate, your life is a joke” louis frowned. “You’re living this insane life which makes no sense. I mean, you’ve literally just turned down the man you love and you have no real valid reason. So, why not amp it up a bit? Do some big gesture, show him you love him and ask for him to forgive you”   
  
“Like what?” Louis asked, defeated. He was out of ideas.

“I think you should keep it simple” Zayn announced, shrugging his shoulders. He was the only one still laying back on the sofa watching the movie. “Something that only you two would understand, nobody else. Just enough to prove to him that you love him and you care”

“That’s good” Niall pointed, nodding his head “Simple but effective”  
  
“Wait, hang on a second” Louis said, suddenly overwhelmed by it all. The sudden change of heart, the confusion. “I know it’s very exciting, me running to Harry to declare my love for him. But there’s gotta be some sort of boundaries set between us if we’re gonna work, I can’t hide forever and neither can he. What if I tell him that the only way I can do this is if we walk from our careers and do something else?” Louis asked, nervous all of a sudden. 

“You would ask him to leave everything behind? For you?” Niall asked. “It depends. If he asked you, would you?”  
  
“Yes” Louis answered, quicker than they expected. “Because I’m certain I love him. But, he hasn’t even said it yet, he has never muttered those words to me”   
  
“He did. Maybe not the exact words you were hoping for but he said he’d risk it all for you Louis, I think that’s enough to say he does” Niall encouraged, smile small. ****

Here they were, headaches roaring, on the verge of being sick at any moment, a bunch of late twenty year old boys, talking about how they could secure Louis the love of his life. Sat around watching movies, in pyjamas and unicorn blankets. And as Louis looked around the room, taking it all in his stride, he was sure of it now. His life was a movie.

An utterly insane one.

He and Niall had spent the entire day planning an idea for Louis, Zayn and Aidan were no help whatsoever, both keeping to their positions on the sofa throwing in a few awful ideas every now and then. But, after a few phone calls, an angry one from Niall’s manager included for being a drunk mess the night before, he had figured everything out. They left the other two in Niall’s house around six, they had been to three separate shops to find what they were looking for. The third was the best, both he and Niall looked at each other and smiled, knowingly. This was the best way to do this, Louis was sure.

Of course, there was the whole idea of just ringing Harry and apologising and asking for him to give him another chance to show him what love was. But, there was never any fun in that. After all, had anyone ever seen a movie without a big love declaration as the big finale?

Niall had parked up outside of Harry’s house five minutes ago, they were waiting for the truck to turn up with the third thing they had went to pay for. They were awaiting a text from Zayn to let them know whether Harry was even home or not, if he wasn’t then that ruined their entire plan.

Louis was sat on a curb, his phone twirling about his fingers as his arms hung on his knees. He was staring up at the night sky, almost a picture perfect image of the night before, almost identical. Maybe it was fate, giving Louis another shot at this, to fix it. But it could also just be a cold night in London, it was dark and Louis was being dramatic.

“Has he replied?” Niall asked, he was standing in the middle of the road on Harry’s quiet street waiting for the small lorry to arrive with the third idea.

“Nope” Louis shook his head, gazing at the time on his screen “When will it be here?”  
  
“They said he would follow us here” Niall shrugged. “I mean, it is pretty fantastic. What if he’s stolen it to put in his own house?”   
  
“I’d be upset” Louis snorted. “I can’t believe how much it bloody cost. I mean, yeah, sure, it’s eight foot tall but is that really a good enough reason to cost me a grand out my bank?”   
  
“Do I have to remind you again that you’re rich?” Niall snorted.

“Ah, no. I’m not rich, I’m simply well off” Louis pointed out. “Not that I spend it very well anyway. All I’ve done since I’ve been home is buy stuff I don’t need and then regret it instantly”

“Do you regret this choice?” Niall asked, nodding to the lights that were coming through the street. 

Louis sighed as he stood to his feet and shrugged. “If it doesn’t work then yeah. But if it does, then this might be the best most stupid thing I’ve ever bought”  
  
“Yeah, I think you’re right there”   
  
Once unloaded from the van, they asked the driver to move it into place for them. It was probably the strangest thing to see if any neighbours were hanging out of their windows. ****

“So, should I ask what you’re doing?” The driver asked as Louis’ signed for the papers.

“Louis is declaring his love for someone” Niall confirmed, genuinely giddy by the idea of it all.

“Oh, nice” The driver laughed. He pulled the clipboard away from Louis and smiled “Good Luck I guess?”  
  
“I bloody need it” Louis sighed, waving him away with a thank you. He looked up at the object and shook his head. “This is insane, isn’t it?”   
  
“You bet ya!” Niall cheered. He grabbed a bag from beside the wheel of his car. “Here. Put it on”

“Do you think we should just ring the bell instead of waiting for Zayn to let us know?” Louis suggested, grabbing the bag from Niall. He opened it and pulled out the contents with a short laugh. He couldn’t believe he was being this ridiculous.

“I don’t think he’d answer if we rang. Considering how you left it. If Zayn tells him to come and let him in the gate then it’ll be easy bait” Niall reminded Louis. There was the whole point that Harry hadn’t want anything to do with him after he had let him down, but, surely Louis could convince him again. “Have you even checked with Zayn?”

Louis shook his head, standing on one leg as he put his leg through a costume. “Nope. It’s on your passenger seat” he said, pulling his other leg through. He didn’t even want to know what he looked like. He sighed as he pulled the costume to his waist and placed his arms in the holes. He zipped it up and peeked his head through head hole.

“Oh my fucking god” Niall was in hysterics. Louis turned to look at him with a look across his face that could only be described as shame. “You look fucking brilliant”  
  
“Tell me, how ridiculous do I look?” Louis asked, stifling a laugh. ****

“Absolutely ridiculous”  
  
“Is he worth it?”   
  
“So worth it mate”

“The things I’m doing for love. I should have done the normal thing and called him” Louis shook his head, struggling to walk as he walked over to the gate outside of Harry’s house. He looked down at the sign they had placed by the eight foot objects leg. “How are we supposed to move this if he doesn’t end up hating me?” Louis asked gazing up.

“We’ll just sleep underneath it, have a sad sleepover” Niall shrugged.

“Great” Louis laughed. He turned to Niall again “Did you even get my phone?”

“Oh” That reminded him. Niall ran across the road to his car, while Louis stood there hoping no one would see him like this and prayed that nobody had figured out where Harry’s secret home was and the paps didn’t turn up. That would ruin everything.

“He text back!” Niall shouted from across the road, as ever, completely unbothered by the idea of anybody hearing. “He’s at home! I’ve asked him to ask him to come out”  
  
“Fuck” Louis swore. His eyes widened as he looked up and then down at himself. He frantically stepped from one foot another, he picked up the sign again and held it in one hand. He turned to Niall desperately “I don’t know what to do!”   
  
“Stand there, look pretty and hold your sign”   
  
“But what do I do with my face?” Louis asked, frantic, not entirely sure what he was asking anymore. “I’m panicking Niall!”   
  
“Just smile or don’t, I don’t bloody know. But I swear if you run away now, after all this bloody hard work and standing about in the cold, I will personally shove that sign so far up your-”   
  
“Duelly noted mate” Louis shouted back, he took a deep breath and turned towards the gate. ****

The plan here was, Louis was going to be a complete arse of himself. Niall was his back up, if everything went absolutely, terribly, wrong then he would be across the road ready to sweep Louis up and take him home, so they could cry over it together. Which was what Louis was most expecting. But, if it went well, then, they weren’t entirely sure. They hadn’t planned that far ahead, only the declaration and if it all went wrong.

He glanced over his shoulder just in time for Niall to stick his thumb up “He told Zayn he’s on his way” He shouted. Louis nodded and watched as Niall walked out of sight, hiding behind his car, most likely videoing it behind the bumper like the little fanboy he was. It was actually insane to see Niall be so nice about Harry. It was a breath of fresh air, of course, if it went wrong then he would go after Harry and attempt to ruin his career with every sentence but that was for another time.

Louis’ eyes shot up as he heard Harry’s front door open from the end of the path that led down to the gate he was currently standing behind. He took a deep breath, he stood next to his little ensemble and held his sign up just high enough that he could peak his eyes above it. He watched as Harry’s figure stepped out onto the path, his face of utter disbelief, his jaw low, eyes furrowed as he looked around for some sort of answer which wasn’t a surprise, Louis most likely would have assumed that it was a stalker, attempting to seduce him, if it was his house. But then again, the way he was dressed wasn’t exactly enticing.

Harry slowly walked down the path and Louis pulled the board down slightly so he could look at him. He looked so soft, he was dressed in joggers that were far too long for his legs and a hoodie to match, reaching down to his thighs. His curls were hidden this evening, hidden behind a black beanie. His face was the same, eyes glaring onto the scene in front of him, his mouth still open as he looked with confusion.

“I’m so fucking confused” Harry announced and Louis gulped, he closed his eyes for a second to compose himself. He took a deep breath, he needed to be brave. He opened his eyes again and was faced with Harry.

Harry stood the other side of the gate, his arms crossed as he looked across the scene in front of him. Louis held the sign down over his chest and smiled, shrugging his shoulders as his answer to that statement. He was equally confused. "Hi” Louis breathed.

“This is weird Louis, I hope you realise that” Harry stated, his eyes glancing up. “Why on earth did you buy a huge fucking Giraffe teddy?” then he gazed at Louis “Why are you dressed as the Eiffel Tower? Have you finally lost it? Shall I call someone?"  
  
“Yeah, I know. It looks totally insane"  
  
"That's an understatement" Harry fired back, face traced with utter confusion. Not what he expected this evening, at all. Harry uncrossed his arms and placed his hands on his hips with a sigh. “Is this some weird fucking dream? Did I take something last night?”

“This isn’t a dream” Louis shook his head. “I’m here to say, oh, well…” He paused, pointing to his sign that said _I’m Sorry_. “Yeah, I’m sorry. The way I treated you last night wasn’t fair, not after everything we’ve been through. I was acting heartless and unfair” he admitted. 

“Okay…” Harry drawled out, eyes still wide with confusion. "So to say you're sorry you bought a giraffe?"

"Yes" Louis said but quickly shook his head, he was getting too lost in Harry. “Look, last night you told me that you were scared and I dismissed that. That’s because deep down I’m fucking petrified Harry, I have no fucking clue where I stand with you now let alone where we’ll be in a few months. I have this issue with the unknown, I like to know where I’m going and what I’m doing but the fact is, I’ve never known what I’m doing or where I’m going, especially when it comes to _you_ ” Louis admitted, dropping the board he was holding into one hand. His and Harry’s eyes were hooked on one another. 

“I didn’t want to just tell you how sorry I was and then just ask for you to me a second chance because that’s too normal, isn’t it? And we’ve never been normal, this whole thing we’ve had going on, it’s just been dramatic and ridiculous and I fucking love it. So yes, I do have an eight foot giraffe for you and yes I’m dressed as the Eiffel Tower and do you wanna know why?”

“I'm not sure" Harry cautioned, eyes still furrowed. Louis waited, patiently for Harry to nod before he continued. 

“Because, that night we were nobody but _Louis and Harry_ . No expectations, no demands, just us. You took me for dinner in one of the most beautiful places in the world, we giggled over wine, ate amazing food and then you held my hand and you walked me around Paris, letting me experience all these wonderful things with you for the first time. You were so happy, you didn’t stop smiling and it was so beautiful to see you like that Harry. And then at night, we both got into bed with each other. I was wrapped up in your arms like it was the most normal thing, so natural for us to being doing it and that’s when I realised”   
  
“Realised what?” Harry asked, taking a step forward to match Louis.

“That I would never be capable of loving anyone the way I do you Harry. I can’t even explain love when it comes to you. It’s meant to be the most simple thing, you know when you love someone and that’s that. But with you, it’s love, it’s lust, it’s happiness, it’s the struggle, it’s fucking everything. It’s so overwhelming and it bloody scares me” Louis declared, a hand reaching forward to grasp onto the metal on Harry’s gate. “But, there’s this quote, I don’t know if you’ve heard it? _I love you as certain dark things are to be loved, in secret, between the shadow and the soul.”_   
  
“That’s pretty beautiful”   
  
“Isn’t it? It just reminds me of you. The way I feel about you is a secret to everyone else in the world except us, I will love you for as long as you want me to Harry. But, if we’re going to do this and I mean really do it, we need to sit down and figure out what this means okay?” Louis said and Harry nodded, surprising him. “It’s not going to be easy and I know we’re going to really struggle. But like you said to me babe, I’d risk it all, if you could promise me a lifetime”

Harry bit the inside of his lip, hands still on his hips as he took in what Louis was saying. He gazed up at the giraffe and then back at Louis and shook his head. “You fucking embarrassed  me so much last night Louis. I thought I was preaching to the blind, like I was the only one who could see it. I thought I had somehow managed to get it all wrong”  
  
“No, I’m sorry… I was drunk I wasn’t thinking straight, but usually, when I’m sober. The only thing I ever think about is you, Harry”   
  
“You can’t say all this if you don’t mean it Louis” He spoke, his voice small as his eyes glanced to his feet. “I need to know that you’re in this, I can’t open myself up like this to be hurt… I just can’t do that, I don’t ever want to feel the way I did last night”

“I promise you Harry, I will never let you down” Louis promised. “I won’t ever intentionally make you feel that way, ever again. We just need to figure out where we go from here”

Harry sighed, his eyes reaching Louis’ face again. He kept his gaze for a few seconds before it fell onto what Louis was wearing and he snorted, fondly. “This is the cheesiest shit I have ever seen”   
  
“Cheesy enough for you to ask me in?” Louis suggested, waving his sign at him.

Harry nodded “But I don’t know how the fuck you’re going to get that giraffe in here”  
  
“I just told you I love you and want you forever and you’re more concerned about the giraffe?” Louis asked, frowning as Harry pressed the buzzer for the gate to open with a laugh. “Me and Niall don’t know what to do with it, it’s actually quite heavy”   
  
“I’m not surprised” Harry said, arms crossed as he walked through the gap that the gate had created. And Louis would have pounced, he would have kissed the younger boy until they were gasping for air, he would have grasped a hold on him so tight that he wouldn’t have to let go of him ever again. He would have done so much. But, this was the start of it all, no public declarations. He was risking it tonight by even saying all of that so openly and public. "Are you coming in?"

Louis nodded, he watched as Harry nodded for him to follow. He glanced around his shoulder to give Niall a secret thumbs up, so he wouldn't wait for Louis all night in the freezing cold and followed Harry. Louis wasn’t entirely sure where he stood, he wasn’t sure if his gesture had actually managed to do anything. He idly followed Harry across the path and into his home that he had visited more than a few times during the first part of production. He didn’t know what to expect, whether he would be told that he had ruined his chances entirely and that Harry had decided to move away forever and never see Louis again - that’s a little dramatic. But, there was a good enough chance that Harry could be the one to turn Louis down now.

“Come in” Harry said, closing the living room door behind them as they walked in.

Louis smiled as he brushed past him, he reached up to unzip the body part of his costume, he released the part at the top of his head and pulled it past his shoulders with a sigh. He reached a hand up and pushed his hair flat on his head, attempting to sort it from where it had been hiding in a sweaty costume for a good ten minutes. He turned his body to look at Harry, his hand still in his hair. His smile dropped when he saw Harry’s expression, serious.

“Oh no” Louis’ eyes widened, his hand dropped from his hair. “What’s wrong?”

Harry stood before Louis, fingers playing with fabric at the bottom of his hoodie. He reached for his hat and pulled it off his head, throwing it somewhere on the sofa. He reached his hands up, shaking his hair and pushing back from his face. He glanced back up at Louis. "Do you really want to do this? Are you doing this for the right reasons?"  
  
"Is there a wrong reason?" Louis challenged, confused. 

"Are you with me because you genuinely, really want this or is it because of who I am?" Harry asked, the last part barely a whisper. 

"Have I ever gave you reason to believe I was only interested in you because of your name Harry?" Louis asked and Harry hesitated for a second before he shook his head. "Exactly, If anything, I hate that version of you. The one everyone knows, why would I want that version? When I have the real version of you all to myself, nobody to see it but me"  
  
"I just... I've never done this before Louis, the whole relationship thing. I don't know what to do or how to act, like, what if I mess it up?" 

Louis' heart melted at the vulnerability that spilled from the younger lad, he was wise, he was definitely taller than Louis but he was also just this innocent boy who had no real life experience, he had been wrapped up such a crazy world since he was little that he had never experienced something as real as this.

"You wouldn't. You don't have to do anything H, the reason we like each other is because of how we are with one another, we don't need to change that. All that changes is the label, you won't just be my friend anymore, you'll be my best friend, my boyfriend" Louis explained, taking a hesitant step forward. "All this is, is the two of us understanding and realising that we're in too fucking deep to walk away now. We either suck it up, give it a go and let the world decide or walk away and always wonder why we let each other go" 

Harry nodded, eyelashes batting against his cheek, he took a deep breath, eyes sad as he looked at Louis. "You know it really is going to be difficult Lou, I don't know how we're going to deal with it all. I'm used to it, but there's so much coming our way, I just need to know you can handle it"  
  
"I can. I can handle anything" Louis quickly replied, now only inches from Harry. He reached his hand up, cupping Harry's cheek. "We're going to have to figure out a few things, you're going to have to wonder whether all of that is worth it and I'm going to have to figure out what I can do to help you a long the way. I want to promise you forever Harry but I need you to know, as much as I will support and love you always, I can't hide forever. Our love, a love like this, it's to be celebrated, not to be hidden away like some felony. We deserve happiness as much as anyone else in this fucked up world, you deserve to finally feel like the person you are Harry. That person is beautiful, kind, innocent and so loved. One day we're going to show the world exactly who we are" 

"I want that" Harry whispered his admission. "But for now, I just want this. Us"  
  
Louis revelled in the words he had been longing to hear. He didn't know if he was making the right choice but 'who does?' he thought. Life's a game and he's going to play it to his advantage. 

 

****

 


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Track Rec's for this chapter! Bare in mind, I blasted 1D the entire time. Cause I was feeling Larry af. 
> 
> Zayn - I won't mind  
> Zayn - Good Years  
> One Direction - Home  
> One Direction - Strong  
> Harry Styles - Sign of the times.   
> Louis Tomlinson - Just like you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second from last chapter. I decided to mould two into one as I feel like it's fitting to do so. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this transition. I'm excited for the end to come for these two characters. 
> 
> An ending they deserve.

Louis sat back in his chair, spotlights burning onto his body, a bunch of men and women walking past him as they rushed to get everything ready. He glanced over his shoulder, looking at the movie poster set up behind him and smiled. He saw his name, in bold letters at the top. “A Louis Tomlinson movie” and his heart raced, his entire body giddy at the pure excitement that came from all of this. He had produced a movie that he was stupidly proud of and now all he needed was for the rest of the world to love it as much as he did.

****

He bit his lip nervously as the camera’s lined up in front of him, directly on his face, he was suddenly self conscious, wondering whether the makeup team had actually done a good job or not, whether they had hidden his few flaws that he had on his face. Although they told him repeatedly _‘Your skin is beautiful, not a single flaw_ ’ which he thought was all lies.

****

“Hi Louis!”

****

Louis’ head snapped to the side to see a woman walking into the room, a wide greeting smile across her face, she was dressed up, far too dressy for a sit down and very laid back interview like this one. She had a friendly smile though, that’s what Louis noticed most.

****

“Hi” Louis eventually greeted back, reaching his hand out to shake her hand as she approached. “What’s your name?”

  
  
“Chelsea” She smiled, shaking his hand. “How you feeling?” she followed up as she turned to take her own seat opposite him.

****

“Fine” Louis stated, shrugging his shoulders. “It’s nothing really. Just got to do my job and leave” he continued, thinking about it all.

****

“As long as you do your job and actually convince people to watch it” she noted and Louis was about to reply before she added. “I’m not into them myself”

  
“Into what?” Louis frowned.

****

“Gay movies. Think it’s kinda disgusting, you know? Like, do what you want in your own home, when you’re away from everything. But don’t shove it in my face” She said, sticking her tongue out as she pretended to gag. “It’s so unattractive”

  
“Being gay is unattractive?” Louis snorted in utter disbelief, he gazed around the room, looking for anyone who was hearing what he was hearing. Luckily he caught eyes with the green eyed wonder who was stood in the corner, snacking on donuts, whose eyes were just as wide as Louis’. “I don’t think being gay is supposed to be attractive, love”

  
“I guess” She shrugged “It’s whatever. I just wouldn’t say I’m a fan”

  
“Well, I’ll suggest you don’t watch the movie then, yeah?” Louis suggested, rolling his eyes. He wasn’t going to get into a debate not today. He didn’t need it.

****

He was grateful to find that Harry was now walking back over, a donut in hand, a load of sugar down his chin. He was like a child, couldn’t eat without making a mess. He also noticed how ‘Chelsea’ also perked up at Harry’s arrival, Louis glared at her, suddenly the reasoning as to why she was dressed up like she was attending some elite party made sense. She was under the impression she was going to impress Harry. Louis stifled a laugh in at that.

“Hey, did you know there is pink lemonade flavoured donuts?” Harry asked Louis, showing the entire contents of the food in his mouth.

****

Louis shook his head, holding back a grimace as he looked at the younger lad. “No, I didn’t love. How about you close your mouth when you talk?” louis suggested.

****

“Whoops” Harry said, smiling, he quickly reached his hand up to cover his mouth. His eyes wide with his beaming smile and as disgusting as it was, how could Louis not admire him? He was just unreal.

****

“Hi Harry” Chelsea perked up, sitting up in her chair, crossing her legs over and Louis rolled his eyes, he couldn’t even help himself. “It’s a pleasure to meet you”

****

“Yeah” Harry nodded, dismissing her. He walked past Louis and dropped himself into the seat beside him. He reached the donut on his finger up towards Louis “Try it”

  
“No, I’m okay”

  
  
“Lou! Try it” Harry demanded, pushing it closer to Louis’ lips. Louis frowned, he rolled his eyes and reluctantly reached his head forwards and took a bite out of the donut. “What do you think?”

  
Louis shrugged, chewing on the food. “It just tastes like a donut” he admitted.

****

“I know” Harry nodded. “But it’s a good one”

  
“You’re so strange” Louis snorted, covering his mouth as the laugh fell from him. “Let’s just crack on with this shall we? Eat your donut”

  
“Yes, sir” Harry said, saluting Louis as he took the final bite. He sat back in the seat, legs spread and arms leaning on the arms of his seat. If people thought he was a diva actor, they would be certain of it now. Even more so when he pulled the sunglasses over his eyes.

****

“Harry, we’re inside” Louis hushed.

****

“The lights hurt my eyes though”

 

“Are you both ready?” Chelsea asked, distracting them both.

****

Louis glanced at Harry, silently asking the question. Harry shrugged and nodded, sticking his tongue out at Louis full of half-eaten donut and if they weren’t in public, Louis would have shoved him off his chair for being such an idiot.

****

He had warned Harry that morning to be on his best behaviour, not do anything that would get himself in trouble or Louis. But, there was the fact he told him that whilst Harry’s pretty lips were wrapped around his cock.

****

It had been five days since Louis’ declaration as the Eiffel Tower, five days since they agreed they would do this and five days filled with sex and declarations of love. (the latter being only from Louis). But, it had been perfect nonetheless.

****

_Louis was spread out on Harry’s bed, his hands physically tied up to the bed posts whilst Harry finished inside of him. They had been at it since Louis had arrived the night before, unable to keep their hands off each other. Louis didn’t know if it was because they were both just so delirious with how much they adored each other or because they knew that they could do this now, for as long as they wanted._

****

_What he did know was that he hoped to feel this amount of love and admiration for the rest of his life, as Harry thrust himself inside of Louis, so full of want and need, he muttered beautiful words against the crook of Louis’ neck, declaring it all for just he to hear._

****

_“You’re so beautiful”, “I’ve never seen someone so perfect”, “I’m so lucky Louis, so lucky” and Louis would reply simply by saying “I love you” and that was enough for Harry to start all over again, lost in the way the words affected him every time they escaped from Louis._

****

_They lay side by side, a mess of heavy breathing and sighs, they had been at it for so long Louis wasn’t even sure if they were still in the same day or if they had literally fucked for a day straight. He glanced to the clock on Harry’s bedroom wall, slightly upset to see it had only been six hours of on and off sex and not an entire day of it._

****

_He turned his head to the side, taking in the beautiful man beside him. It was different this time, it wasn’t just he and Harry messing about, having sex and then wondering what was was going on for a week or two before repeating the cycle. This time, he was laying beside his boyfriend, the person who had told Louis that he would risk everything for him. It meant so much more, so much he felt his heart skip a beat everytime he looked at Harry._

****

_“I could literally just stay in here for weeks” Harry eventually stated, turning his head to the side to catch Louis staring. “Can we do that? Just stay in bed for weeks?”_

__  
_  
_ _“We could” Louis mused “But, unfortunately we have a movie coming out and a bunch of promo to do” he admitted, sadly. He easily forgot the fact he had just worked his arse off for months to produce a movie, he always forgot everything when around Harry, it was easily done. “Maybe after it’s all over, we can lock ourselves away for a while”_

 __  
_  
_ _“That sounds perfect” Harry hummed. Louis watched as Harry shuffled to his side, resting his head on the palm of his hand. “I still haven’t answered any of managements calls or emails. I know that they’re probably writing up some warning now, threatening court or something”_

 __  
_  
_ _“Can they actually do that though?” Louis frowned questioning Harry, all of it seemed so over the top. “I mean, what are they going to take you to court for? Leaving the country without their permission? They wouldn’t stand a choice”_

 __  
_  
_ _“I guess. I do know that when I tell them I’m in a relationship they’re going to lose their heads, probably go on a mad one and send me to a different planet”_

 __  
_  
_ _“Extreme”_

 __  
_  
_ _“That’s because they are” Harry pointed out through a sigh, he always looked so sad when he spoke about it with Louis. “I’m thinking of taking a break, from acting I mean. Like, maybe it’s time I finally stepped back from it, thought about myself for once”_

 __  
_  
_ _“That’s a brilliant idea babe, but I hope you’re not doing it for my sake” Louis quickly added in. “I wouldn’t want to be the reason Harry Styles stopped acting”_

 __  
_  
_ _“No, of course not. Although more time spent with you the better, buttercup” He winked, smiling as he reached his neck down to place a gentle kiss against Louis’ lips before continuing. “I just think now’s a good time to do it. I’m at the peak of my career, I’ve done my fair share of movies and made a name for myself. I have more money than sense, a beautiful home in two amazing places, a boyfriend who loves me, like, I think now's a good time to take a break and appreciate it, you know?”_

****

_“Yeah, I do” Louis whispered, hand reaching up to play with the baby curls at the back of Harry’s head. “I hope this works Harry, I really do. I’ve never wanted something to work out as much as this” he admitted, lost in Harry’s eyes, in their future._

****

_“We’re going to work out Lou. Nothing can stop us from here, we’re just going to take every day as it comes, yeah? No pressure, no nothing, just do this at our own pace. We already adore each other more than any normal new couple, so that’s a start. Don’t worry about the ‘What if’s’ just take every moment as it comes, that’s all we can do” Harry assured him. “I promise you, now I have you, I’m not letting go”_ __  
_  
_ _“Ditto” Louis smiled, fondly._

****

“The real question is, are you ready Chelsea?” Harry asked and Louis knew that behind those sunglasses he was wearing he was most definitely hiding that mischievous look he had whenever he was doing something he shouldn't have been.

****

Chelsea smiled but her eyes were full of confusion and Louis had to bite back a laugh. He had never experienced interview Harry before, so he no idea what was to come.

 

“Okay…” Chelsea said, eyes on the camera as she waited for it to go red. She held the question cards on her lap and looked at the two boys with a smile. She turned to the camera “Hi I’m chelsea, I work here at Buzzfeed and today I’m interviewing two boys who have been all over the headlines the past few months. We’re here with Louis Tomlinson and Harry Styles as we talk scandals and their new film, None Disclosure” she turns back to the boys “Thank you both for being here”

  
  
“You’re welcome” Louis replied, sitting up in his chair. He turned to Harry who was still slouching in his seat, he sighed, lifted his arm out and whacked him on the chest.

****

“Ouch!” Harry whined, pouting his bottom lip. “What was that for?”

  
  
“Sit up, stop being rude” Louis declared.

****

Harry groaned, still holding his chest like Louis had shot him. He shuffled himself up in his seat, crossing his legs, he pulled the sunglasses back on to the top of his head and turned to Louis with a false smile. “Better?”  
  
Louis bit back a laugh “Much” he replied.

****

“So boys, we are weeks away from the much awaited release of the movie. How are you feeling?” Chelsea asked.

****

“Fantastic, really” Louis replied, a genuine smile across his face. “Me and Harry were only saying last night that we can’t believe how quickly this has all came around, we worked so hard in the little time we had and we just hope everyone is as excited as we are”

  
  
“Oh, I see. So your ‘bromance’ has continued away from the movie set as well?”

  
  
“Yeah, definitely” Louis nodded, nearly correcting bromance to romance, but he bit his tongue. “We’re still exactly as we were during filming”

  
  
“Yes, well, we all saw the reports of you two causing quite a havoc when you were together. Seemed like you both liked to party, I definitely saw a lot of binge drinking, there were pictures to prove it” Chelsea added, holding up a card with a picture of the two of them dancing in some club. Louis snorted a laugh, he couldn’t even remember where it was taken, that’s how drunk he was. “Interesting moves”

  
  
“Yeah, well, Harry’s a terrible dancer. I just copy him” Louis excused himself.

****

“Mhm, I beg to differ Tomlinson. Have you seen yourself on a dance floor?” Harry fired back.

****

“At least I don’t look like an unbalanced giraffe” Louis challenged.

****

“Touche” Harry snorted. “That’s why you bought me the big giraffe really, wasn't it? So you could make fun of me” he pouted.

****

“You caught me” Louis winked.

****

“The big giraffe?” Chelsea asked, the two boys kept forgetting where they were.

****

“Louis bought me some eight foot fuckin’ giraffe teddy, it’s insane, like we only managed to move it onto my front garden. I’m not sure it’ll even fit in my house”

  
“Well, it better. It cost me a grand, if it gets ruined, it’s on you” Louis warned. He turned to chelsea “He looks like a giraffe, doesn’t he?”

  
  
“I won’t get involved with that one” She smiled, eyes narrowed as she assessed the situation in front of her. “So, Louis, this one's for you. In a recent interview that was released only a month ago, there were talks of you and your new budding romance with ex lover Aidan Grimshaw, an amateur musician, can you give us any knowledge on that?”

  
  
“Only the knowledge that it’s bullshit” Harry answered for him.

****

“Louis?” Chelsea asked again, ignoring Harry’s comment.

****

“I’m afraid Harry’s right, I’m not seeing Aidan. Yes, he’s my ex boyfriend, but he is also a friend that I have reconnected with. I’m afraid that’s all it is” Louis explains, wanting to reach his hand out and take Harry’s in his own. Let everyone see who he was really with.

****

“Ah I see. Well, maybe Harry could help you out? Find you a nice boyfriend in LA” She suggested, smiling between the two boys.

****

Louis cocked a brow, turning to look at Harry while attempting to hide the smile that was appearing across his face. “Mhm, yeah, why don’t you do that Harry?” He asked, teasingly. “Why haven’t you set me up with any of your hot friends yet? What sort of friend are you?”

  
  
“A friend that’ll get you for that comment later if you carry on” Harry warned.

****

“Sad” Louis pouted. “I think Liam’s quite fit, maybe you could set us up”

  
  
“He’s your friend too, why don’t you ask him yourself, yeah?” Harry suggested, playing a long now. “Or, maybe, you could tell everyone that you already have a boyfriend?”

  
  
“Ah, I do, don’t I?” Louis said, rolling his eyes as if he had forgotten. He turned to chelsea with a shrug of his shoulders. “Must have forgotten”

  
  
“Is this an exclusive? Louis Tomlinson has a secret boyfriend” She giggled, all false. Considering her earlier comments. “Tell us more!”

  
  
“He’s an idiot” Louis stated which earned him a kick to the ankle from the lad beside him. “But I’m happy, happier than I have been for quite some time”

****

_Louis rested his head on the cushion on Harry’s sofa, eyes wide with his smile as the face appeared on his screen. “Hey!”_

__  
__  
_His mum appeared on facetime, his sister Lottie by her side as they both waved “Hello my love” his mum said, smile bright across her face. “You look rested”_ __  
_  
_ _“Do I?”_

****

_His mum nodded “How was your wrap party? We saw some pictures online on  that Twitter app… Why on earth did you not have a top on Louis? Also, standing on bars isn’t very safe, imagine if you broke your neck?”_ _  
_

_  
_ _“I was fine” Louis laughed, he hadn’t seen the pictures yet and he wasn’t sure if he wanted to. “I had Niall there, he wouldn’t have let me fall”_

 __  
_  
_ _“Seems like he was encouraging you”_

 __  
_  
_ _“Yeah, well, he did. But he’d have caught me if I fell” He shrugged it off. “Oh well, I had a terrible hangover the next day which I definitely deserved”_

_  
_ _“Hey Louis, can you introduce me to that Timothee? He’s fit, ain’t he?” Lottie shouted, standing in the kitchen behind his mum._

****

_“You can stay away! He’s an innocent boy who doesn’t need to be corrupted by my demon sister” Louis shouted back, half-joking._

****

_“Well, you know who she takes after”_ _  
_

_  
_ _“Rude” He laughed, but she wasn’t wrong. They were like two peas in a pod, sadly._

****

_“Where are you?” His mum asked, noticing everything as always. It was a talent, if only she could turn her nosey-ness into a career. “That’s not your place, there’s no ugly sofa”_ _  
_

_  
_ _“Very well observed, Mother” Louis laughed. “It’s not that ugly”_

 __  
_  
_ _“Yes it is Louis”_

 __  
_  
_ _“Okay, yeah it is” He shrugged._

****

_“Where are you? That’s not Niall’s, he has black wallpaper, that’s just white”_

__  
_  
_ _Louis frowned “Is there anything you don’t notice?”_

****

_She shook her head. “No, Mother’s notice everything. It’s what we do best”_ __  
_  
_ _“Clearly” He scoffed._

****

_“So, where you? Is it Zayns or Aidans? Oh, I hope so. I’d love to see them”_

****

_“No, it’s not actually” He shook his head, pulling Harry’s throw up to his shoulders. And he was about to tell her, but he didn’t need to._

****

_Harry walked in as soon as he had parted his lips to reply, he waltzed into the room, torso on show in nothing but his boxers, looking like something that had walked off the cover of vogue. Louis could have drooled at the sight._

****

_“Shall we order food tonight? I don’t want to cook” Harry asked, brushing his hair from his eyes. “I fancy chippy. Like big greasy chips covered in salt and vinegar and.... I’m interrupting aren’t I?” he stalled as he saw Louis’ holding the phone up._

****

_“Is that Harry?” His mum frantically asked, then suddenly Lottie was in the frame as well. Louis looked at them both with wide eyes as they waited expectedly._

****

_“Yeah it is” Louis nodded, biting back a smile. “I’m at his house”_

****

_Louis glanced over his screen to Harry who was sauntering over, not caring for the fact he was without barely any necessary clothes. He walked around the sofa and stood behind Louis, he crouched down and Louis watched on the screen as he smiled and waved. Lottie’s eyes went wide as he saw him, star struck at the sight. Where as his mum picked up her tea, sipping on it like she knew all along._

****

_“Hello!” Harry said, a smile wide across his face. “Long time no see Mrs Tomlinson”_

__  
_  
_ _“Nice to see you, sweetheart. Aren’t you a bit chilly?” She asked, noting the bare chest. “It’s minus nothing here at the minute”_

 __  
_  
_ _“It’s alright your son cuddles me and keeps me warm”_

 __  
_  
_ _“Is that really necessary?” Louis frowned, asking._

****

_“Yes” Both Harry and his mum said at the same time. “Hey! You’re lottie right?” Harry asked, pointing at Lottie on the screen. “Louis tells me you’re the double of him, can’t wait to meet you” he says, genuinely._

****

_“Yeah” Lottie nods with a small smile. “You too. I’m a huge fan”_

****

_“Thank you. I’m a huge fan of your family” Harry says and Louis frowns, glancing across his shoulder to look at him. “What? I’m a fan of you and your mum” he explains. “So I’ll be a fan of everyone too”_

****

_“You’re such an arse licker” Louis snorts, turning back to look at the screen._

****

_“Leave him alone, I think he’s sweet” His mum quickly comes to Harry’s defence. “So, what is all this? Is this what I think it is? My boy has a little boyfriend?”_

__  
_  
_ _Louis grimaced “You make it sound like I’m thirteen and I’ve got my first boyfriend”_

 __  
_  
_ _“Yeah, well, it’s special isn’t it? This ones different” His mum said, a genuine smile across her face as she spoke. “If I’m right that is…”_

****

_“Yeah, you’re right! I’m afraid your son just can’t live without me, so he’s stuck with me now, forever” Harry announced._

****

_“Ah, lucky boy aren’t you?” His mum giggled. “I hope this means you’ll be joining us for Louis’ birthday celebrations in a few weeks?”_

__  
_  
_ _“I wouldn’t miss it for the world. I’ll bake a cake!”_

 __  
_  
_ _“Oh that sounds wonderful. You’ll have to  make sure it’s chocolate, Louis loves chocolate”_

 __  
_  
_ _“I can put flowers on and all sorts, to match his personality”_

 __  
_  
_ _“Don’t forget a fairy and a princess, there his favourite” Lottie joined in._

****

_All the while Louis just sat and watched the exchange, revelling in how easy it was, how quickly his family accepted it. But then, he couldn’t blame them either. It didn’t take him long to fall for Harry, to fall in love with him, he knew that his family would do the same. He had this charm about him, when he wasn’t playing the stroppy actor card. He would be able to turn everyone's faces into a smile, purely from existing. The energy he had was catching._

****

_“I’m thinking of treating Louis for his birthday anyway, maybe you can help me arrange something?” Harry asked, taking Louis’ phone out of his hand._

****

_Well, he was clearly executed from that conversation._

****

_“Yeah of course love, I would love to” His mum beamed through the phone. “It was about time he celebrated his birthday properly”_ __  
_  
_ _“We could come to you or you come to us, I mean, whatever’s easier” Louis smiled at that, the use of ‘us’ because that is what it was now. It wasn’t Louis and Harry, it was both of them combined, they were together now. “I know Louis misses you a lot, so I’ll make sure we make the effort to come and visit a lot more”_

****

_“That would be lovely, sweetheart. I’m just happy that you two have finally sorted things out and done what the world was waiting for you to do. It works in mysterious ways, doesn’t it?”_

__  
_  
_ _“Like you wouldn’t believe. I’m just happy that it helped me find Lou, I don’t think I would have coped this year without him, he’s like my little life saver” Harry admitted and Louis glanced up at him, he reached his hand out and took Harry’s in his own._

****

_“I’m sure he feels the same about you” His mum noted. “I think it’s about time you two got the happiness you deserve”_

__  
_  
_ _“Yeah, I think you’re right”_

****

“Wow. So can we have the name of the lucky guy?” Chelsea asked, prying, like the nosey journalist she was.

****

“I’m afraid that’s classified information”

****

“Will we find out soon?”  
  
“I suppose you’ll have to wait and see” Louis stated.

****

“I suppose the world and I will just have to keep guessing  until we get it right... Talking of relationships, why don’t we talk about the characters in this movie. Harry, you play Taylor, one of the two men involved in the relationship. As we know, this plot is based on two young musicians who are struggling to hold their relationship together in the industry, they face a lot of struggle in their life. Do you relate in any way? To the character and how it feels to be a young man in today’s industry?”

****

Harry squirmed in his seat, the question taking him back slightly. He coughed, reaching his hand up to his mouth, he then lifted it to push his hair back. “I suppose I relate in the way that I am an actor in today's generation” he answered and Louis pulled a face, holding back a laugh. “You know… Life’s strange, things happen and all that… I guess, I’m just a guy who’s just dealing with whatever gets thrown at me. I’m just an actor and-”

  
  
“You do talk some shit” Louis snorted. “She asked you if you relate, not if you’re an actor Harry. Everyone knows that, that’s public knowledge”

  
  
“I will not hesitate to kick you off that chair Louis” Harry fired back. He turned back to Chelsea. “I guess I do kinda relate, I’m facing the struggles that come with being an actor who is so looked upon, like, I have to be careful with the things I say and do a lot… I just have to be so careful with the things I do and it’s tiring”

****

“Have you ever dealt with the situations that are touched on in the movie and the novel?”

****

“I…” He paused, musing over the right words to say. Then it was like something hit him, Louis watched as he gazed down at his shoe, his chest heaving up and down slowly as he thought about it. “I would say I know first hand how the actor feels”

 

“Oh?” Chelsea perked up in her seat, obviously catching on by this point.

****

Louis was eagle eyed, staring at Harry like something crazed. He wasn’t sure what was about to happen, all he knew was that this wasn’t good. Or was it? He wasn’t sure anymore.

****

_Harry sat on his dining room chair, the laptop in front of him. He had been staring at it for the last half an hour, nervously tapping his foot on the floor beneath him. Louis had been sat beside him, his hand on his thigh in an attempt to soothe the nerves but it was no use, he couldn’t blame Harry either. He had been through everything, all of the shitty ends that came from his actions with his management team. He was now about to face them as well as his mother in a group skype call to discuss his recent behaviour and the consequences that would come along with it. Considering the fact his management team had been attempting to get ahold of him since he left for South Africa and he had been ignoring them completely. When he did finally respond to one email, he told them very clearly that if they wanted to talk to him then they would have to do so over Skype as he refused to go back to LA._

****

_LA had became a demon to Harry, it was where everything went wrong for him. His PR Stunts would be based there, as well as all the drinking and easy drug usage. It was the place for everyone with a name to go down the wrong path and now he had what he had been needing and wanting for so long in Louis, he didn’t want to fall back into the easy routine that would be his life. He needed change. Starting now._

****

_The skype call began to ring over his screen and his eyes widened, he turned to Louis desperately. “What do I do?”_

__  
_  
_ _“I’d say, you best answer it” Louis smiled softly, hand stroking Harry’s thigh as he shuffled out of shot of the camera. “Just be brave. Remember, you’re a spoilt actor yeah? Use that to your advantage, don’t let them walk all over you. Be brave”_

 __  
_  
_ _“Okay” Harry nodded, reaching one hand under the table to hover over Louis’ while his others reached for the accept call button._

****

_He sat back as the screen loaded, Louis watched from sidelines. It was so strange, seeing one screen pop up with two very smart looking business type men, while the other was the beautiful woman that was Harry’s mother. Louis’ eyes softened, they looked so similar, the same kind eyes and gleaming smile, the one Louis adored so much. He could see where Harry receives his beauty from._

****

_“Hello sweetheart” His mum spoke before anyone else had the chance._

****

_“Hi mum” Harry smiled, genuinely and Louis adored the way his eyes softened as he found his mum’s on the screen._

****

_“Harry” One of the men spoke, Louis recognised him well._

****

_Simon Cowell. Known in the UK for being one of the biggest arseholes ever lived. Believed he was some sort god-like person, like he had the upper high ground to everyone, looked down his nose at anyone who crossed him. Louis had met him before, at some Gala, he had approached Louis on the opportunity to produce a movie about his life. Louis stopped himself from telling Simon that literally nobody wanted to see that and instead told him he would get back to him on that one. He started as a music mogul, everyone who was anyone in the music business was managed under his control, multiple artists over the year had come out to talk about how badly they were treated under his management team. It all made sense now, the situation Harry was in. Now he knew who was behind it all._

****

_“Simon” Harry nodded, voice firmer as he spoke through gritted teeth._

****

_“I have to say, I have never worked with anyone as disrespectful and down right rude as you. We have been attempting to contact you for weeks over your behaviour, we were more than slightly disappointed to see that you were ignoring all points of contact with us”_ __  
_  
_ _“Shame. Turns out I was busy” Harry bit back._

****

_“Harry, play nicely” His mother spoke, softly, attempting to settle the air before it would soon turn into a battle of wits. “Simon, I’m sure Harry has a reasonable excuse for his lack of contact. Don’t you babe?”_ __  
_  
_ _“Yeah, I do actually” Harry nodded._

****

_“Well, unfortunately, an excuse won’t cut it. Legally, you’re contracted to keep in contact with us at all times, no matter your situation. You should always be at our point of call if and when we need you, no matter the circumstances. An actor should never disappear and cut contact with the people that made them, that’s ludacris, not even mentioning ridiculous. You’re an adult Harry, you have to face your problems head first not run from them”_

****

_“I wasn’t running from anything, thank you very much. Although, I very much enjoyed the peace from the ear-ache that you so love to give me. It was a nice break, thanks for asking. But of course, I wouldn’t know what a break is, you haven’t given me one in years. Can’t blame me for taking the matter into my own hands” Harry fired back, his thumb swiping over Louis’ hand that still rested on his thigh._

****

_“Well, your breaks over. It is only fair that we now address the headlines that state you have gone into some sort of breakdown, we don’t want anyone thinking you’re some deadbeat actor. You don’t want to jeopardize the name you have for yourself anymore than you already have” Simon began, he took a piece of paper from the man beside him. “We have drew up a new contract, stating what we believe will be most beneficial for your career. We will have it emailed over to you as soon as we are done here, we expect it signed and returned within an hour. But, I can go over a few points with you now”_ __  
_  
_ _“I don’t…”_

****

_“A major point in your new contract” Simon continued, dismissing Harry. Harry glanced to his mum whose eyes were somewhere else, like she couldn’t watch it. “We will be controlling your free time. We gave you the free will to do as you please with the time you have off and it seems you have only spent that getting drunk, running off and getting yourself arrested. So, clearly we have a big of damage control to do here”_ __  
_  
_ _“I don’t want that”_

****

_“We’ll also be talking about your next PR situation, after much discussion we have decided to replace Miss Jenner, unfortunately, your friendship with that young lady isn’t cutting it. She’s too lenient, allows you to do as you please, we need someone more professional and fitting for the role. So, we’ll be holding interviews with a few models who are looking for their big break, gives us a chance to up their status and intrigue some more interest for you”_

****

_Louis was frowning, completely gobsmacked at the scene happening in front of him. He couldn’t believe how easily Simon spoke, how easy it was for him to dictate someone else’s life as if it was his own, he had no care for anybody, so heartless and so awful. He glanced up at Harry who was listening, his mouth agape as he listened to the list of demands._

****

_“Say something” Louis whispered, just enough for Harry to hear. He gripped tighter on his thigh until Harry turned to look at him, he bit down on his bottom lip._

****

_They continued to look at each other as Simon spoke and Louis was encouraging him through silent words, nothing but their eyes and touch to tell him. Harry needed to take control not only of this situation but his life too. Or else, he never would._

****

_“Think about your character Harry. What ending does he really want?”_

****

_Harry nodded, he took a deep breath and returned his attention to the screen of people. He held Louis’ hand tightly for support, gripping onto it like it infused the energy he needed._

****

_“We’ll also be discussing your next role, we have a few in mind. Something away from the role you currently displayed, we don’t want people to get the wrong idea”_ __  
_  
_ _“No” Harry said, loudly. His voice was stronger now, assertive in a way._

****

_“I beg your pardon?” Simon asked._

****

_“I said no Simon, I won’t be doing any of that. I definitely won’t be signing any contract”_

****

_“I’m afraid that's out of your hands, Harry”_

__  
_  
_ _“Is it? Because as far as I’m aware, it’s my right to accept or decline a contract, nobody has the power to decide that for me, not you, not my parents, not anybody. Just me. From now on, I won’t be agreeing to anything just because you tell me I have to, I’ll be signing what I think is good for me. And a contract based on lies, isn’t on my list”_

 __  
_  
_ _“You’re being ridiculous” Simon rolled his eyes, holding the piece of paper up. “This. This is the only way your career won’t die by the end of the year. Do you really want to be the actor everyone forgot about?”_

_  
_ _“How do you justify that? I mean, really… I’m not going to lose my career because I decided not to have a fake girlfriend, that’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard” Harry shook his head, all of it making sense to him now. “I just played a character that is so much like myself it was scary. I saw the ending that came for him, I don’t want to end up the same way”_

 __  
_  
_ _“That was a character Harry, focus on that word yeah? Character”_

 __  
_  
_ _“Maybe so. But, the situation, the way he felt, that’s all real. I feel that” Harry defended it. “I’m an actor who has been brought up to believe that the only way to be successful is to lie my way through life, do you understand how fucked up that is? Surely the world would rather see me for the person I am and not the person I pretend to be. That’s the reason I act, so I can be someone else. I don’t want to play a character for the rest of my life”_

 __  
_  
_ _“Harry, babe, what’s brought this all on?” His mum asked, finally stepping in._

****

_Harry’s eyes began to fill over, the tears begging to escape. It was a mix of years of pent up frustration and the nerves he felt for allowing himself to finally defend his life. “Mum, why can’t you see how fucked this all is? You’ve just sat back and allowed them to do this to me. I’ve become someone who I don’t even recognise. I’ve spent my entire life living yours and dad’s dream and all I’ve done is suffer because of it”_

__  
_  
_ _“Harry…”_

 __  
_  
_ _“No, listen” Harry stopped her, he needed to say this. “I’ve been someone else my entire life, pretending to be this version of myself that everyone hates. And for the first time in my life, I know who I am. I’m not this horrible person who everyone is too scared to work with or this asshole that people can’t stand. I’m me, mum, I’m the little boy you had before I was thrown into this life I didn't ask for. I finally figured it all out”_

_  
_ _“Figured what out?” Simon asked, bored of the conversation at this point._

****

_“That I don’t want this life” Harry admitted through quiet sobs, Louis just wanted to reach up and wipe the tears that fell from those pretty green eyes. He wanted to pull him close and tell him how proud he was. “I’ve spent months playing this character that is so much like me, the real me, that it’s allowed me to finally see what my life really is. A joke. I don’t want to be an actor anymore, not if it means I have to lie for the rest of my life. I don’t want fake girlfriends or to be shoved into parties with a bunch of people with less personality than Simon. I just want to act, live my life the way I want and finally be happy”_

****

_“I don’t understand why you’re saying all this Harry”  His mum spoke through a whisper, her voice cracking to match Harry’s. This was the first time Harry had ever confronted a parent over everything he has been through, the first time he had opened up. It broke him just as much as it broke his mother. “I thought you liked acting?”_ _  
_

_  
_ _“I fucking love it” Harry declared, reaching his free hand up to wipe his eyes. “But, I hate the life I pretend to have. I don’t want to sign anything else, I just want to do my job and that’s that. I don’t want to be controlled anymore Mum, it’s not fair, it’s breaking me”_

 __  
_  
_ _“I didn’t realise…”_

_  
_ _“That’s not the point. You signed a contract, you’re obliged to stick with it”_

 __  
_  
_ _“I don’t care. I don’t care about any of that. I will fight it, if I have to. And then, I will sit and tell the world exactly what I’ve been through so they understand the kind of person you are Simon” Harry threatened, the tears streaming down his face._

****

_“What do you want to do?” His mum asked, also ignoring Simon at this point._

****

_“I want to live a normal life. I’m still so young and haven’t experienced half the things everyone else my age has. I’ve never been to a proper party, where all my friends turn up and we just drink and dance the night away, not caring what brand people are wearing or whether the paps are going to turn up… I want to go on holiday, sunbathe and sip cocktails all day without worrying I’m sitting with the wrong person… I want….” He trailed off, looking at Louis. “I want to be able to hold my boyfriend’s hand in public, I want to show him off to the world and show everyone how unbelievably happy I am”_

****

_“You’re boyfriend?” Both his mum and Simon choked out._

****

_“Yeah” Harry sniffled, smile reaching across his face as he looked at Louis like the world revolved around him. He glanced back at the screen, pulling Louis closer. “I have finally found someone who makes me want to be the real me, the version of me that he loves more than this fake version you love to show everyone. With him, I’m who I’m supposed to be”_

****

_“And who are you supposed to be?” Simon snorted, rolling his eyes._

****

_“Harry. The one who wakes up happy, is surrounded by people who genuinely like him for who he is and not his money, the Harry that has a boyfriend he is so lucky to have and a life he is so grateful to have” Harry declared, holding Louis’ hand tightly._

****

_“Who is he?” Simon asked._

****

_Harry went to open his mouth to reply but Louis decided to shuffle closer, his head in shot for them all to see and he waved, a smug look across his face as he watched Simon’s face fall into anger._

****

_“So, you’re the one who is filling Harry’s head with lies?”_

__  
_  
_ _“I wish. However, that’s all you mate. Harry’s decided this all on his own, I’m afraid to say”_

 __  
_  
_ _“I should have known allowing him to work with you was a bad idea, you’re bad news”_

 __  
_  
_ _Louis laughed, like he had heard the funniest joke he had ever heard. “Wow. That’s rich coming from you. Look, I don’t care what you think of me or what you think i’ve supposedly made Harry believe. But Harry’s telling you now, he ain’t doing it anymore and you’re just going to have to live with that. I love him, more than anything else in the world and I won’t see him suffer, not anymore” he declared, his other hand gripping around their hands that rested on his thighs._

****

_“Unfortunately that’s not up to you…”_

__  
_  
_ _“Are you serious about all this Harry? Is that how you really feel?” His mum asked, interrupting Simon again._

****

_“I’ve never been more certain of anything in my life, Mum. Louis makes me happy, I don’t want to have to hide that from anyone. He’s openly gay, he has been since his career started, look how fucking successful he is, his sexuality didn’t affect his talent. So why should my sexuality affect mine?”_ __  
_  
_ _Louis watched as his mum nodded, simon was staring idly at the camera, most likely hoping that Harry’s mum would talk some sense into him but it seemed like Anne wasn’t about to do that. She sighed, she sat back in her seat and pulled out her phone._

****

_“What are you doing Anne?” Simon asked._

****

_“I’m calling Harry’s father. Turns out we need a good lawyer if we’re going to get him out of this contract” She stated._

****

_“Really?” Harry asked, eyes wide with hope._

****

_“I just want you to be happy baby” She declared, she then spoke to Louis. “You better promise to keep my boy happy, Louis”_

__  
_  
_ _“As long as he wants me, I’m all his. I promise” Louis nodded._

****

_“Right… Okay, Simon. I’m calling my lawyers, expect a call within the hour”_

__  
_  
_ _“You can’t do this!” Simon shouted._

****

_“Baby, I’ll call you soon okay? We’ll talk about this” She said, directed at Harry._

****

_“I love you” Harry stated._

****

_“I love you too, I’m so sorry”_

 

“And how exactly do you relate then Harry? Because as far as we’re all aware, it’s acting that you do. Not singing” She attempted a joke.

****

“I should mention, for public record, Harry can sing. It’s insane, he was in my car one day and just started belting this song and my god, what a fuckin’ voice” Louis declared.

****

“Shut up” Harry snorted, reaching out to push his arm. “He’s just being nice, I sound like a cat is being strangled”

  
  
“Absolute lies” Louis frowned. “He sounds like an angel. I thought that was it for me, I was being sent to the gates of heaven and that was the last sound I would ever hear. I was happy to die that way”

  
“You’re such an idiot… It should probably also be public record that Louis used to be a singer, he used to Gig around London”

  
  
“Shut up” Louis whined, sinking down in his seat. “He’s lying”

  
“I’m actually not” Harry said, he looked directly into the camera. “Whoever is watching this, as soon as this interview is over I want you to go onto youtube and search Louis Tomlinson, The Fray cover. You’ll thank me for it later”

  
  
“I hate you”

  
“No you don’t” Harry beamed. 

****

“I know” Louis rolled his eyes. “I only hate you some of the time"

  
  
“That’s more like it” Harry laughed.

****

“I have to say Harry, I was warned before I turned up today that you were a lot to handle. I’m surprised to see you so carefree today, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you laugh on camera”

  
  
“That makes me sound so terrible” Harry grimaced. “I’m just in good company. Plus, it kind of touches on the subject as to why I’m like my character, sorry, I got distracted”           

****

“Ah, yes. Can you elaborate on that for us?”

****

“Well…” Harry drawled out.

****

_Louis was frantic, he was pacing back and forth in Harry’s living room. Adjusting his outfit for the tenth time, making sure there wasn’t a single crease to be found on the shirt Harry had picked out for him._

****

_Harry laughed from where he was sat so casually on the sofa, legs sprawled out as he aimlessly gazed on his Twitter feed. He was dressed beautifully as ever, Louis had told him multiple times that the yellow seemed to bring out his eyes, somehow. He looked so calm and collected and Louis looked like he would consider jumping from the window at any moment. Like two polar opposites._

****

_“When your mum said she’d call soon to talk about it properly I didn’t expect her to hop on the first flight to London” Louis cried out, he had been like this all night and morning._

****

_Not long after they had hung up the skype call his mum had messaged Harry to let him know she was at LAX and was getting on the first flight back home. Louis obviously went into sheer panic, attempting to flee Harry’s house where he had stayed since that night with the giraffe, go to his own apartment and wait for the visit to be over but Harry was having none of it._

****

_“Will you stop stressing? She’ll love you Louis”_

****

_“What if she doesn’t though? Like, what if she resents me? What if she thinks I’m the reason you’re doing all of this?”_

__  
_  
_ _“Well, you kinda are”_

 __  
_  
_ _Louis stopped his pacing, he turned to look at Harry, his face falling. “Thanks for the vote of confidence Harry, I’m really glad it’s you I chose to fall in love with”_

 __  
_  
_ _“What?” Harry laughed. “It’s true. Not in a bad way, you helped me a lot. She’ll understand that. Stop being such a stress head”_

 __  
_  
_ _“I could leave” Louis stated, taking a few steps closer to Harry. “I mean, you could deal with all of this and I could go home, eat my entire body weight in the food in my fridge and then you could let me know how it went later?”_

_  
_ _“Idiot” Harry snorted. He dropped his phone to the side of him and reached out, he grabbed the back of Louis’ thighs and pulled him down._

****

_Louis tumbled down onto the sofa with a squeak, Harry wrapped his arms around him and pulled him close on top of him. Louis attempted to escape his grasp but Harry had none of it, he was holding him tightly with a content sigh._

****

_“She’s going to love you, I promise”_

__  
_  
_ _Louis managed to shift himself up so he could hold his body weight on his hands either side of Harry’s head while Harry’s arms stayed firmly around his waist. “You better hope so”_

 __  
_  
_ _“Who couldn’t? I mean, you’re you” Harry smiled._

****

_Louis rolled his eyes, he reached down and kissed Harry’s lips as innocently as he could. But with Harry it was never innocent, the boy was like a horny teenager whenever he had Louis in his grasp. Louis attempted to pull back but Harry reached his hand up to behind Louis’ neck and brought their mouths back together, Louis sighed into the kiss, dropping his hands so he fell onto Harry. There was this thing about kissing Harry, like it was only them in this world, just the two of them and a bunch of blank noise. It was slow and dreamy, their tongues moulding against one another in a sloppy haze. And Louis could have stayed like that for the rest of the day, well, that was if it wasn’t for the bell ringing._

****

_Louis shot up, lips red raw as he hovered over Harry. He gazed out at the door as if there was someone there and then back down at Harry, panicked._

****

_“She’s here” Harry announced, he reached up placing another kiss on Louis’ lips and patted his bum to get him to stand up._

****

_Louis scrambled off of Harry and sat himself down on the end of the couch, he looked down at himself and groaned, a single crease, right there from where he had been laying on Harry._

****

_“Your hair’s crazy” Harry stated as he stood up, fixing himself in his jeans. Louis hadn’t even realised. “You should… Sort that”_

__  
_  
_ _“Go away” Louis said, pointing to the door. “Go and get your mother”_

 __  
_  
_ _“Yes, your highness” Harry snorted._

****

_Louis sighed once Harry left the room and the front door, to go and let his mother into the gate. He attempted to straighten his shirt and reached up to flatten his hair from where Harry’s wandering hands had been exploring it. He reached his hand up and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. He didn’t even know how to sit, a thousand possibilities running across his mind. She was a model, she knew how to present herself and here Louis was, heated up from where her son had just smothered him, red lips from where he had been sucking on them and sweating with nerves._

****

_“Great first impression, fucking well done Louis” He muttered to himself._

****

_He straightened when he heard the front door open again, he sat closer to the edge of the sofa with a deep breath. He needed to impress her, needed to set a good example, he wanted her to love him like he loved her son._

****

_“He’s in here” He heard Harry say and then he heard the footsteps that were most definitely from a pair of very expensive high heels._

****

_Then the door opened, Harry appeared into the room first and held back a laugh as he looked at Louis’ frantic state. And then she walked in behind him, she looked unreal. She was dressed in a dress that was worth more than what Louis would acquire in his entire life, her heels could easily step onto him and kill him (which she easily could if he fucked this up) and she was as flawless as she looked on the skype call the night before._

****

_“Louis” She greeted, a bright smile appearing on her face as she clocked him. She dropped her bag onto the floor and walked towards him with open eyes. Louis was internally panicking as he stood up and greeted her into his arms, holding onto her tightly. “It’s such a pleasure to finally meet you. The journey from the gate to here he’s been talking about how wonderful you are”_

__  
_  
_ _“That was like a minute” Louis said._

****

_“Yes, clearly my son is doting on you” She laughed, she kissed his cheek and pulled back. “I’m glad you’re here as well, seeing as you’re the man that’s changed my boys mind”_

__  
_  
_ _“Yeah” Louis laughed nervously._

****

_“Pop the kettle on, love” She turned to glance at Harry as she shuffled her fur coat from her arms. “We’ve got a lot to talk about”_

__  
_  
_ _“We sure have” Louis nodded, internally fretting over the entire situation. He was far too awkward for the whole meeting the parents thing._

****

_Harry had given them each a cup of tea, he had sat himself closely beside Louis while his mum took up the single cuddle seat opposite them. She was gazing around the room, looking at the different pictures and awards that were displayed against the white walls. Louis wasn’t sure what to expect from all of this, whether they were about to be told off for Harry’s decision or if she was genuinely just a mum coming to visit her son, it was all very bizarre._

****

_“Beautiful home you have, Harry” His mum complimented “How long have you had this place now?”_ __  
_  
_ _“I bought it when I was nineteen. I wanted a little home away from home, seeing as Gran still lives here” Harry shrugged._

****

_“That’s a lovely idea. It’s very homely”_

__  
_  
_ _“Different to the LA home. But then again, nothing is very homely about LA”_

 __  
_  
_ _“It’s my home” His mum noted._

****

_Harry nodded. “Yeah, well, I don’t think it’s mine”_

__  
_  
_ _She smiled sadly and nodded her head “Yeah, I think you’re right” she inched forward in her seat and placed her tea onto the table. She glanced up at Harry with a sigh. “I’ve spoken to your father, he doesn’t quite understand, but, I told him you would explain when you had the time. He’s arranged the best lawyer in LA to look into your contract so we can get you out of it as soon as possible, he’s certain he’ll find a loophole”_

 __  
_  
_ _“Thank you” Harry said._

****

_“It could take a few weeks though. So, you know, for now you’ll just have to wait” She added, her eyes were glancing back and forth between Louis and Harry. “Can I ask how this happened then? You two?”_ _  
_

_  
_ _“It’s nothing really” Harry shrugged and Louis elbowed him. “I mean, yeah, it is something. I mean, the story”_

 __  
_  
_ _“It’s a bit more than nothing, obviously”_

_  
_ _“We met on set, he’s the director of my new movie. I don’t know what to say, we just sorta connected, it was right off the bat really. I just knew that I wanted Louis in my life, for as long as I possibly could” Harry stated, reaching a hand out to place it on Louis’ thigh. “We only recently decided to give it a go though, but it’s been on the cards for a while. It was always my job and the contract that was stopping us”_

 __  
_  
_ _“I see” She acknowledged, glancing down at Harry’s hand. Louis moved his own to cover Harry's, he glanced up at him with a smile and Harry kissed his forehead. “Is this why you’ve never brought anyone home then? Because of the contract?”_

 __  
_  
_ _“Well, I don’t understand how you’d expect me to hold a relationship down when I wasn’t even allowed to have one for the first part of my career. And then, when I was, it just wasn’t worth it. I would have had to hide that forever”  Harry attempted to explain. “Plus, no one has ever stood out to me before. Not until now anyway”_

****

_“You both look well suited” She stated. “Plus, Louis is very handsome”_

__  
_  
_ _“He is, isn’t he?” Harry smiled, lacing his fingers through Louis’. “I struck gold”_

 __  
_  
_ _“I’m right here, please stop” Louis blushed._

****

_“I’m sorry Harry… I mean it, if I’d have just taken a moment to consider your feelings instead of what I thought was best for you, we maybe wouldn’t be in the situation we are. I’ve been a terrible mother to you and Gemma, I should never have pushed you”_

__  
_  
_ _“Stop it” Harry shook his head. “Look, I thought it was best for me as well. We were all as clueless as eachother really, weren’t we? All the matters is that you accept that I’m done with that part of my life, I just want to move on, making my own decisions and choosing who I want to share to the world, not who someone else chooses for me”_

 __  
_  
_ _“I do” She nodded, smiling. “I’ll support you no matter what. If Louis makes you happy then that’s all what matters to me, it’ll just be nice for you to be able to bring someone home to me and your dad for once. Gemma was certain you were going to be single forever, she’ll be pleased to see that’s not the case. She’s a fan of Louis’ as well, so that’s even better”_

 _  
_ _“I’m a fan of hers” Louis blurted. “I mean, she’s very talented”_

 __  
_  
_ _“She’ll love that” Harry snorted. “Loves it when people tell her how good she is. Big headed brat that she is”_

 __  
_  
_ _“You’ll have to come with Harry to visit sometime Louis, meet Gemma and Harry’s father. It would be lovely to have us all together again, it’s been so long since we’ve sat down as family… It’s just been so busy, you know, your career takes over your life”_

 __  
_  
_ _“Oh boy, don’t I know” Louis sighed. “But yes, I’ll make sure I do just that. If the rest of the family are as lovely as you then I’m sure it’ll be great”_

 __  
_  
_ _“Arse licker” Harry scoffed._

****

_“Says you!”_

__  
  
“My character is a man that has had his entire life taken away from him. One day he’s his own person, making his own decisions, saying what he wants to say and seeing who he wants to see and then the next he’s being controlled completely… That’s my life. Like your comment, you’ve heard all these things about me right? How would you feel if I told you that yeah it is true, but that’s not me, that’s just an act I play?”

  
  
“I’m confused” Chelsea frowned.

****

“That’s because it’s insane. Look, I’m not the big dickhead everyone thinks I am. Sure I can be stroppy sometimes and I might get a little bit pissed off but I’m not rude, I don’t talk to people the way I’ve been pushed to. My management want me to be a certain somebody, somebody that gives off this arsehole persona, a sex icon, all the things that I am not. But, that’s not the case anymore. Soon, I’ll be able to show you exactly who I am and then you’ll all see me for who I _really_ am instead of the character I play”

****

“I wish I could follow what you’re trying to say” Chelsea drawled out.

  
“Let’s just say there’s big things coming and you’re going to be shocked” Harry said proudly, turning to look at Louis with a warm smile. “It’s going to be the best thing yet”  
  
“You got that right” Louis cheered. **  
**


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This story has been one that I’ve been bursting with pride in with every comment, kudos and bookmark I’ve received. That’s purely because of how happy I have been to write this story. I had the idea one night when I couldn’t sleep and it went from there. It’s a story that I have loved writing and I’m almost sad it’s over because I’ve enjoyed every minute of writing about these two characters. I just hope you’ve enjoyed the process as much as I have. 
> 
> Thank you for every comment of love that I have already received, it honestly makes me so happy. 
> 
> I hope the ending is something you love as much as me. 
> 
> Thanks for the support.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I told you I'd finish it before I went back to work!

Louis was sat in the back of his car, Niall and Zayn sat opposite him. Music was playing throughout the quiet space, Liam Payne's voice filling the air. Louis needed a distraction, something that was going to clear his mind completely to distract him from the fact that today was finally here. He was always the type to fill with nerves, the one to panic at every moment, but it showed his passion for his work.

****

Today was the day that the world would see the movie he put his heart and soul into, the one that helped him find the love of his life as well as push him to the worst of his time. He had felt every emotion while creating this love story and it was about to be portrayed on the big screen for a bunch of famous names and faces, as well as a bunch of journalists, for them all to judge. It was nerve-wracking and Louis felt it all.

****

“Exciting, ain’t it? I love coming to premiers with you” Niall announced, sipping on his beer. “Free movie, free snacks, free alcohol, I mean, what more could you want?”

  
  
“I’ve never been to one before” Zayn admitted, fixing his tie. “I’m stoned, will they notice?” 

  
“Probably not” Niall shrugged, passing his beer to Zayn. “They’ll be more focused on Louis” 

  
“Thank fuck. Cause I might smoke a blunt when we get there too, y’know, calm the nerves” 

  
Louis snorted at that, his attention turning from his stress to his friend. “What have you got to be stressed about?” 

  
“My friends movies being released today, I’m allowed to have secondary stress” 

  
“Whatever” Louis shook his head, his eyes focused out the window. He watched as they drove up the busy street, barricades at the side of the road to hold back the hundreds of fans that were waiting to catch sight of one of the stars. Most likely Harry.

****

“Where is H?” Zayn asked, like he had only just noticed he wasn’t with them.

****

“He’s arriving with Kendall” Louis mumbled, eyes never turning. “He arrives a minute after us apparently”

  
“Why? Thought the contract shit was sorted” Niall questioned.

****

“It is. He’s legally free as of midnight. Just a few hours to go”

****

“So why bother with Kendall?”

****

Louis shrugged, ripping his eyes from the window as the car slowed down. “Who knows? Simon’s probably getting his money's worth, selling exclusive shots of them both”

****

“What a prick” Zayn stated.

****

“I wish he was here” Louis sighed as the car came to a halt and they were parked up beside the red carpet leading to the theatre.

****

“It’s going to be alright mate, you’ve got us, yeah? Just do what you need to do and get in there. We’re going to be right by your side, don’t sweat it” Niall smiled, reaching forward to tap Louis’ knee.

****

“Yeah, thanks” Louis nodded.

****

Suddenly the door was opening beside him and his heart was racing, he didn’t know how to breathe all of sudden. The wash of screams and chanting hit him, deafening him from hearing anything else. He took a deep breath, he glanced at his two friends and bravely stepped out of the car.

****

He was blinded instantly. Lights flashing in his face, a bunch of people shouting his name repeatedly, looking to get a good shot or a fan wanting a photo. He could have stood there, frozen in time if it wasn’t for his two friends turning up at his side.

****

They stood side by side, posing for the countless flashes, Niall was loving every moment, pretending he was some big movie star and not the golfer that he was. Not that people didn’t know who he was, they did, there were plenty of people shouting his name. Louis allowed himself be guided by Niall’s hand on his shoulder, he walked them over to a bunch of fans who were desperately shouting for their attention, phones and movie posters in hand.

****

Louis smiled as he approached, this was something he was comfortable with, fans, the people that truly supported him. He pulled Zayn over introducing him to the countless amount of fans, telling them he was going places. Zayn didn’t know what to do with himself as they pulled him in for photos and autographs, he just laughed, not believing the situation he was in.

****

“You’re amazing Louis! Thank you so much” Someone shouted and Louis frowned.

****

“Thank you for what?” He laughed.

****

“Everything. You helped me so much, you don’t even understand. If it wasn’t for you I would never have found the courage to come out to my family, you helped me find my confidence. I’m so thankful for you” The fan cried, a heartfelt declaration pouring from him.

****

It seemed like that was the case for a lot of them, Louis found himself wasting time by listening to every single one of their stories, cuddling them and thanking them for their kind words. The people running the red carpet were doing all they could to try and pull him away but he stayed, revelling in the heart felt words.

****

It seemed like he was stood there for ages, it turned out he was, he was finally about to pull himself away from them all when he heard the array of screaming again.

****

His head snapped to the side as he saw why the uproar had begun. He stood, the smile on his face unstoppable. He watched as Harry stepped out of his car, dressed in the most beautiful yellow suit, looking like the actual sunshine had just appeared in front of him. His smile didn’t even falter as Kendall stepped out beside him, why would it? She was his friend, someone who had supported him when he needed it most, someone who stepped in when he couldn’t carry it on any longer.

****

Harry posed for the camera’s, Kendall on his arm and he looked flawless. Like he was shooting for some pristine movie cover, it was unreal. And then his eyes found Louis from where he was standing in the middle of the red carpet and his smile beamed.

****

The paps must have clicked as they turned to see what Harry was so focused on and Louis laughed. Harry whispered something in Kendall’s ear and then slipped away, he smiled bright as he walked past the fans, waving a quick hello. He kept walking, not faltering in his step.

****

Louis expected Harry to greet him, pose for a few photos and then sneak off. Much like how they should behave, especially on a red carpet event. But, no, this was Harry Styles.

****

Louis squealed as Harry approached him, he reached his arms around Louis’ waist and lifted him to his feet, he spun them both around in a fit of laughter. Once again, it was just the two of them, if it wasn’t for the cheering from the fans and Niall, he would have forgotten where they were. Harry slowly dropped Louis to his feet and pulled him in close, patting his back as he hugged him to attempt to make it even somewhat platonic.

****

“You’re so fucking amazing” Harry muttered low enough for only the two to hear. “All of these people are here to see you and your amazing work Louis”

****

“They’re here for you too” Louis snorted. He glanced over Harry’s shoulder as one of his handlers tapped his wrist, indicating they were wasting time “I wish you could stay here with me”

  
“Not long and I can stay by your side forever, _baby_ ”

****

“Forever” Louis repeated, eventually pulling himself away from Harry.

****

Harry winked and held Louis at arms length, suddenly a bunch of cameras were flashing in their direction so Louis stood by Harry’s side, smiling wide and proud for the world to see. He was celebrating a lot today, his movie, his life and the love of his life.

****

Louis and Harry were separated soon afterwards, Harry needed to be pictured with Kendall and Louis needed to answer a few questions, he didn’t mind much, knowing that Harry was close was enough to settle his nerves. He kept Niall and Zayn close as he relentlessly made his way through the multiple journalists, answering the same questions about the movie plot, his friendship with Harry and his personal life. It was tedious.

****

He was happy when the three of them were actually able to walk into the movie theatre, away from the madness. In here, the only people you would find were a bunch of celebs whose sole purpose was to be there for some good PR, the cast and crew and a few journalists who were only there to review the movie. Much calmer than before.

****

“I know it’s our answer to everything but, shall we have a pint?” Niall asked through a sigh, standing beside Louis.

****

“God, yes” Louis nodded, dropping his shoulders. “I’m exhausted already”

  
“I don’t know how you do it mate” Zayn admitted, walking alongside the two other boys as they made their way to the little confectionery stand. “Honestly… It’s crazy out there. I mean, it was amazing, like really. Louis, you’ve really made it” 

 

  
“He’s a star” Niall laughed, walking ahead to the counter to order for them.

****

Louis was going to follow but Zayn grabbed his wrist, pulling him back. “You okay?”

  
“I’m sorry for not being around the past few years mate. Things ended in such a shit way and I knew how stubborn you could be, I guess I thought you’d come to me when you were ready and before you interrupt and say I don’t need to apologise, I know. I just wanted to let you know, I’m so fucking proud of you. Who’d have thought the boy with the fairytales and the big dream would end up doing something as amazing as this? You’re amazing mate”

****

Louis’ words were lost in the back of his throat, he knew today would be difficult, he would definitely cry but he didn't’ expect it so early on. He didn’t say a word, he simply pulled Zayn in for a hug, a few silent tears escaping. It was just another part of his puzzle that he needed to make everything complete.

****

“I’m just really glad you’re here to see it” Louis admitted, patting Zayn on the back. “You’ve always been my best friend mate, no matter what. You’re here now”

****

“Yeah, I know” Zayn nodded, pulling away with red eyes. This time it wasn’t because he was stoned, he was matching Louis with the waterworks. “You’ve done us all proud”

****

Louis smiled and nodded, gazing down at his feet as he sniffled, attempting to keep it under wraps until he really needed to let it all out. It was a god send when Niall walked over with a tray of drinks for them all.

****

“Let’s have a pint and watch a movie, hey?” Niall suggested with a wink.

****

Louis was sat front row in the theatre, Zayn and Niall were sat behind him with a few of the other cast members. Tim had arrived and made himself at home right beside Niall as they caught up and talked golf, it was like a big family had reunited again. He hadn’t seen his family yet but he knew they were sitting somewhere near the back, in their designated seats situated near the food bar, much to Lottie’s request. She had text him to let him know they were here and proud of him as always.

****

The theatre had crowded over, nearly every seat filled and the chatter across the room only intensified Louis’ nerves. He knew that all of these people would be judging everything, the camera work, the screenplay, the actors and most of all, his ability to create a movie. It was like it was the big exam at the end of the school year, you knew that if you passed you were well on your way to a brilliant life and if you failed, you would sit alone in a dark room crying about it or turn to alcohol to cope. Either way, Louis was prepared.

****

He was so out of it, he only noticed someone had sat beside him when he felt a hand brush his thigh. He glanced to his side and visibly relaxed, his shoulders slumping from where they had been so tensed.  “Hey baby” Harry greeted.

****

“I didn’t know you were sitting with me” Louis hinted, eyeing up the name on the seat which was clearly stated as John’s.

****

“I asked John to swap with me, I could always ask him to swap back if you’d prefer?”

  
“No” Louis answered a little too quickly, his hand reaching out for Harry’s wrist. “I’m fucking nervous, I need someone’s hand to hold” 

  
“Luckily for you, mine is here at your disposal” Harry laughed, shuffling his shoulders out of his suit jacket. “You look stunning by the way” 

  
“Says you. Honestly, that suit is outrageous, how the fuck do you manage to pull it off?” 

  
Harry shrugged, placing the jacket on the back of his seat. “It’s a talent” he stated. He must have noticed Niall and Zayn behind him, he sat on his knees on the chair as he greeted them “Hello boys, good view you’ve got isn’t it? You can look at me instead of the movie” 

 

“I’d rather gouge my eyes out with a spoon” Niall retaliated.

****

“I mean, I’m also quite sad that I have to sit so closely to you throughout this. What if I catch it?”

****

“Catch what?”

  
“That awful accent of yours. I mean, it’s awful”

****

“I hope your acting sucks and that you never get cast for another movie again” Niall fired back, Louis glanced over his shoulder to see just as Niall had crossed his arms over his chest in huff.

****

“I hope you fall down the stairs and hurt your other knee, then you’ll be fucked” Harry grinned back, a giddy look across his face. And that’s when Niall broke character and reached over to give Harry a haste hug, patting the younger lad on the back. “I didn’t mean it, it would be a sad day for all if you couldn’t walk the pro’s this year”

  
“Tell me about it. I guess it would also be a sad day if we didn’t get to see your ugly mug on our screens anymore” Niall teased.

****

“Nice to see you two getting along for once” Louis commented, turning back to the screen in front of him. “Only took you like forever”

  
“We’re not getting along” Harry added. “This is just how we communicate our hate now” 

  
“Yeah, positively” Niall agreed.

****

“You’re both so fucking weird” Zayn suddenly spoke up.

****

Harry nodded in agreement before reaching over to give Zayn a hug as well, then he was hugging Timothee, then Sarah and then suddenly he was up out of his seat again as he greeted everyone he recognised. Louis laughed and sat back, he could do the necessary Hello’s once this was all over. He was no use to anyone at this point.

****

“It’s going to be alright you know” Niall appeared at his shoulder, resting his chin on Louis’ shoulder blade. “I don’t know why you’re so wired about this… Usually you’re quite blase about the whole thing” 

  
“It just means so much to me, you know? And you heard all the fans out there, it clearly means so much to them as well. I just don’t want to let anyone down” 

  
“I don’t understand why you would even think that Lou. You have managed to produce a movie in half the time any director has even attempted, you have dealt with personal shit, the drama that comes from working with such a tight night group as well as the stuff with Harry and all the while, you never took your focus away from what was important to you. If anything, I think your relationship with Harry helped you… You were able to produce a movie that hits the subjects it needs to, so raw and perfect. It’s going to do amazing” 

  
Louis took a deep breath and glanced at Niall “You have a way with words”.

****

“That’s because I’m certain about this one Lou” Niall smiled, patting Louis on the shoulder as he pulled himself away. “Be proud, lad. You deserve it”

  
Eventually Harry found his way back to his seat, sliding in beside Louis just as the lights begin to dim. As soon as they were completely out, Louis reached for Harry’s hand desperately, he laced his fingers through his with a content sigh. The comfort he was after.

****

It was strange, the sensation you felt as you watched your own movie be displayed for the world to see. Your own vision escaping your mind to be displayed in real life, it was a sensation that Louis would never be able to describe to anyone. But the entire time the movie played, his heart was in his hands, ready to be trampled on at any moment. Harry’s hand never left Louis’ grip, throughout the entire hour and a half long movie, his thumb stroking Louis’ hand whenever he felt him tense beneath him.

****

Louis watched with wide eyes and an open heart whenever he watched Harry’s scenes, he related them back to little memories that happened that day rather than the actual scene. He watched as the movie played the first scene Harry ever did for him, he thought about how they had argued that morning, the way Harry had brought him a tea into set that morning and he lied and told him he didn’t drink it, just so he could see the look of irritation pour across the actor’s soft features.

****

Then he watched the scene where Timothee’s character sat in the boardroom with the management team and he thought about when Harry had waltzed into set that day, sat beside him and began to open up about his struggles. How Louis had appreciated Harry’s company that day. Then there was the scenes which he thought back on and remembered how Harry hadn’t been on set that day, how he had sat in wonder the entire time, wondering how his day would have been if Harry had been there.

****

Then there was the scene that fell on the same day that Harry and he had attended their suicide prevention meeting, how they had both opened themselves up to something so raw and real and how Louis had melted in the way Harry had opened himself up so clearly for Louis, so quickly with so much care.

****

The suicide scene left Louis grasping onto Harry’s hand so tightly as he remembered the way it had affected the younger boy, the look of pure desperation in his eyes as he approached him on that very bridge and how he spent the entire night consoling him, making sure he would be okay.

****

Harry had lent into him at one point, head rested on Louis’ shoulder as the scene in Paris arrived. Harry and Tim’s character were walking around the streets at night, revelling in the sights and the beauty and Louis’ heartbeat doubled. He thought about that very night, the night he would always remember as the night he fell in love with Harry styles, all of a sudden and all once.

****

“I love you” Louis spoke beneath a breath, behind the noise of the movie that played in front of them. “I love you so much” he declared, he had never been more certain of anything.

****

Louis was left crying when the movie came to an end, the end credits began to play across the end scene of Harry walking away and his heart dropped, his body stiff as he awaited a reaction. There were two outcomes, either tears of joy and cheering of happiness or silence and the sound of footsteps as people left the theatre.

****

As the lights began to turn on once again, Louis kept his hold on Harry’s hand as they waited the reaction. They glanced at once another, eyes focused on eachother and that’s when it happened. Louis lost in the moment as the people around him flew to their feet, hands clapping together wildly like a chaotic orchestra, whistles and cheering coming from every direction. Louis allowed the tears to stream down his face as he broke out into a smile, he pulled his hand from Harry’s as he turned around to look at everyone. He could see the tear stained cheeks,  the bright smiles and the undeniable joy.

****

He sighed, relief striking him all at once. “I did it” he whispered.

****

The crowd soon died down, the cheering turning to clapping, the clapping turning to small chatter as they all spoke to one another. And then they had all returned to their seats and the cue came for Louis, Harry and Timothee to walk onto stage.

****

“C’mon Tomlinson, time to shine” Harry said through a sigh as he stood to his feet. The crowd began to cheer again and Louis soon joined, turning to nod to Timothee.

****

The three boys walked alongside one another, meeting the author John on the stage in front of the large screen. Louis’ legs were like jelly as he stood facing a bunch of people who had welcomed his movie into their hearts, allowing themselves to feel it and embrace it.

****

He stepped to the side, standing himself between Tim and Harry as John approached the stand, a smile on his face as he gestured for the cheering to come to a halt.

****

Louis finally clocked his family, the only ones still standing as they continued to clap. He shook his heart, a snort of a laugh escaping him and it was Harry who waved, arm reaching high as he and his mum blew kisses to eachother.

****

“I feel like all I’ve done lately is make speeches” John spoke into the mic, gaining Louis and Harry’s attention. “So I’m going to keep this short and sweet. I had one dream when I wrote this book, that it would be loved and people would read it. That’s it. The level of success it has had is beyond my wildest imagination. I am thankful for every single person who ever bought my book and allowed it into their hearts, it’s solely for you that I am able to stand here today saying my vision has come to life. I was lucky enough to have Louis at my side, who brought the entire thing to life purely from his imagination. Without him, it would not be the same movie you watched today. So for that, I am thankful for him. Also to every single member of the crew and the cast that worked so bloody hard to create this movie in the short release time we had. We’ve done it, thank you so much”  


It really was short and simple. Louis wasn’t prepared, he didn’t actually write a speech. He assumed he would get out of it but as John awaited him by the mic at the podium it was clear he had no way of getting out of it not now, especially considering the hundreds of expecting eyes gazing at him.

****

He groaned as he walked out and joined John at the podium, he shook his hand and reluctantly took a stand.

****

“I’m with John, all I do is make speeches. And I’m shit at them, so that’s just great” He joked, sighing as his hands grasped the wooden stand. “I’m not going to say much either. The movie told you everything you need to know, it was an honour and a privilege to work on such a fantastic story with such a fantastic group of people. I will forever be grateful to this movie for all it has taught me, for the way it has broadened my mind and for the people it has brought into my life” he said, eyes trailing to Harry, no longer caring whether it was obvious or not. “So, thank you for being here today. Make sure you tell everyone how good it is, yeah? I want an Oscar!”

  
The crowd laughed and clapped again. Louis nodded a thank you with a smile and turned back to the lads waiting for him at the side of the stage, he walked over, ready to take a stand beside Harry as they would bow once more and then they could finally be free to drink as much as their heart desired, which Louis was planning on. But just as he approached, Harry swept past him, a determined walk as he sauntered over to the podium.

****

“Hi” He belted into the mic, making most in the audience jump, as well as Louis. “I know I’m not supposed to say something, but if you don’t mind, I’d like to?”  


Louis frowned as he watched the scene unfold, Harry stood in front of the mic and gazed out at the crowd of people. Louis watched as he took a heavy deep breath, exhaling into the mic.

****

 

“I would like to talk about this movie and what it’s done for me, if you don’t mind. You see, before I decided to take on this role, I wasn’t a very likable figure, a lot of director’s refused to work with me, actor’s hated me and I was one of the most hated people in showbiz. Which when you think about it, is quite shitty. You all believed the rumours, consumed in what you believed of me rather than what you know and that was a hard pill for me to swallow” Harry trailed off, he bit his lip as he built the courage to continue.

****

“I was awful when I first started on set. I treated Louis terribly as well as all the fantastic people who worked alongside him, even I wouldn’t have wanted to associate with me. I was a dick. But the fact is, I wasn’t really that person I was pretending to be. But I didn’t know that, the only reason I found that out was because Louis did. Before I could even figure it out myself, Louis had already decided I was a good person. He allowed me into his life so quickly, a lot of people told him he was being naive to believe I could be a good person and not the person everyone believed I was and sure, that’s understandable. But Louis didn’t listen and thank fuck he didn’t” Harry admitted.

****

Louis grasped onto Tim’s arm, watching with absolute terror as Harry spoke.

 

“You see. I relate to my character in more ways than one. Not only am I a young man in today’s crazy industry but I am also…” He took a deep breath, closing his eyes for a second. “A closeted gay man” he admitted and the gasps that took over the room were somewhat comical, almost unbelievable. “My character was forced to hide his sexuality for the sake of his career. Guess what? Me fucking to. Here I was playing a character that is so much like myself it was crazy. But you know what’s even worse? I didn’t see it as a bad thing, I thought it was normal but turns out it’s far from it. But, I wouldn’t have known that if it wasn’t for Lou”

****

“This world is crazy. The characters you saw today are portraying a real life issue, this is happening and it needs to be exposed. I’m not the only young actor that has had to suffer at the hands of a bunch of homophobic old men who think it’s good for you. I know how it feels and I know how you suffer from it… Louis has portrayed every inch of it to perfection, he’s not only a visionary but he’s also a wonder. He has managed to make every single one of you in here feel every inch of pain those characters felt, how I _felt_ ”

****

Harry turned his upper body, glancing at Louis who stood in tears, they hadn’t stopped since the movie came to an end but they had only heightened once Harry had started speaking.

****

“This speech isn’t for pity or anything of the sort. This is a thank you” Harry said, smiling as his eyes caught Louis’. “A thank you to Louis, who has not only allowed me to finally find out who I really am. But who is also my support, my friend and the person I love most in this world. I have found the one person I want to spend the rest of my life with”

****

Louis’ heart fell into his stomach, the words I love melted into him like a hot iron, burning into his skin like a brand. Harry loved him.

****

“So thank you” Harry said, pulling himself from the mic, ignoring the wild cheering and flashing cameras.

****

Louis was shaking his head, biting down on his bottom lip as he stifled in the insane ugly crying he was forcing to keep in at this point. And here Harry was, walking over to him after making a declaration like that in front of all these people.

****

“You” Louis whispered.

****

“Shut up and kiss me” Harry asserted, his arms finding Louis.

****

Louis allowed Harry to pull him close, arms wrapping around his waist and holding him to his chest. And then his lips were on his, in the most magic and insane moment Louis had ever experienced in his life. It was like fireworks were sparking around them, celebrating.

****

Celebrating their love. For the world to see.

****

“You’re going to be in so much trouble” Louis sniffed, mumbling against Harry’s lips. He reached his hands around Harry’s neck as he glanced back, the love of his life right in front of him where he would always be.

****

“Worth it though, isn’t it? I love you, I’d risk it all for you”

  
“Imagine if I’d have signed that None Disclosure the first time I met you” Louis giggled.

****

“And be my dirty little secret?” Harry scoffed, smirk wide on his face. “Like I’d hide you from anyone. I’m sorry Louis, you’re stuck with me now”

****

“I suppose I can cope with that”

****

“Yeah?” Harry smiled into a kiss.

****

And yeah, Louis was sure of it. He could deal with this, no matter what, as long as Harry was by his side.

  
  


******

  
  


Louis stood to his feet, his hands clapping together wildly as the tears fell down his cheeks. He was biting back a bright smile, holding in the absolute pride that flew round his body, the rest of the room became white noise. He glanced over his shoulder to see everyone around him standing to his feet, clapping their hands and wolf whistling as the titles came across the screen. He had never felt such an overwhelming feeling before in his life, he didn’t think he could ever beat this. Pure happiness.

****

He stepped out from his seat, wiping his eyes as he stepped towards the small podium, smiling wide as the clapping and cheering continued to roar around him. He walked up the stairs like he was floating, that was the only way to describe it.

****

He approached the podium and stood behind it, eyes gazing over the crowd ahead of him. He bit back a laugh, a laugh of utter disbelief, he never would have thought that this would have happened - This feeling, this moment, all of it. But here he was. Living it.

****

“Thank you” He announced into the mic through a laugh of utter disbelief. “Thank you so much”

****

He watched in awe as the crowd all sat into their seats, their hands coming to a halt, he waited for the silence to take over the room before he took a deep breath and approached the mic properly.

****

“When I pitched this idea I thought it would have been completely ignored, nobody would want to watch a movie like this… Not a movie based on my life” Louis admitted through a small smile. “But, here we are. I know I have a name in the film industry and I have been lucky enough to work on some of the most A-List movies  to date, something I will forever be grateful for. But this, this is my pride and joy. Standing here today in front of you all”

****

He searched the crowd and saw his mum and sisters sat on the second row. He bit down on his bottom lip, stifling in the constant smile he couldn’t control.

****

“As spoken about in the movie, my friends would joke constantly about how my life was a joke. Literally like I had been shoved into a movie of my own, a bit like that movie The Truman Show. I wasn’t incontrol of all of the crazy things happened, it’s like I just walked into then. I’ve never had a choice and none of us ever do. But, I was lucky enough that my fate would bring me into the arms of my husband, Harry Styles. Our story was one that when we told, nobody could believe it, no one understand how something could happen like that. It was just one massive coincidence” Louis laughed, not believing it himself.

****

“When people talk about True Love, you expect magic, the spark that never leaves. I felt that, I also felt every inch of hurt and pain you feel when you find the one you’re destined to be with and boy, me and Harry went through so fucking much… It was amazing to watch it back, see it like I was reliving my own memories, up on the big screen. It’s something I’ll be able to watch back over and over” He stated, eyes blubbering again. “It’s special. I can’t wait to sit down on the sofa in our family home, alongside my husband and my beautiful children and rewatch it over and over, so I can feel every moment like I’m reliving it again”

 

He glanced down to the front row where Harry sat, his daughters by his side smiling widely at their dad like they were bursting with pride. Harry was using the back of his hand to wipe his eyes, he reached his hand up and blew Louis a kiss.

****

“I hope this movie shows exactly what love is. It’s two people who will face whatever is thrown at them, no matter what it may be because the end goal is always eachother. Me and Harry survived some of the worst imaginable experiences and although it was hard, I will forever be thankful that we did it together. True love is special” Louis smiled.

****

“So thank you… I’ll forever be grateful for this. I’ll leave you with a quote that I’ve lived by my entire life” Louis said, locking his eyes with Harry’s. I love you as certain dark things are to be loved” He breathed. “In secret, between the shadow and the soul…. _Always_ ”

****

Louis saw it in that moment, the one thing he had wished for since he was a little boy.

****

His _Happily Ever After._

  
  



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